The Mellow Yellow Lounge

[NileBDS]

Hey GUYS!!

Just a quick q--hey how come we don't see anyone browsing at the end of our forums anymore!! As such only a handful know about sdn, and we were all trying to get to know each other and it was nice to see so many students actively participating at the forum and it just use to make you feel , oh! well you are not alone ! there are many students out there like you!!!!!!!!!!!
well, but now , since you don't see anyone at all! it feels so strange!
I noticed it --did anyone else feel thae same??
I miss seeing all my friends at the forum..
ta

FIDO did it ! It happened right after he took over the MOD! (just kidding)
Yeah treasure, I noticed the same thing too ... I was always curious to see who was online at the same time as I was ...
I think it has something to do with the most recent upgrades they did to SDN. Do you think it could be a privacy issue, or just to free up some space ?

---

Members don't see this ad.

 

[fido!]

ya ,ya!blame it all on poor fido!

FIDO did it ! It happened right after he took over the MOD! (just kidding)

 

[queen naush]

A little boy was doing his maths homework. He said to himself,
"Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six,
that son of a bitch is nine...."

His mother heard what he was saying and gasped,
"What are you doing?"

The little boy answered,
"I'm doing my math homework, Mom."

"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother
asked.

"Yes," he answered.

Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day,
"What are you teaching my son in math?"

The teacher replied,
"Right now, we are learning addition."

The mother asked,
"And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a
bitch is four?"

After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered,
"What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four..

 

[mekha]

ya ,ya!blame it all on poor fido!

it was there even before he became the mod
fido swallowed the names ,i dont think so..lol

 

[mekha]

A little boy was doing his maths homework. He said to himself,
"Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six,
that son of a bitch is nine...."

His mother heard what he was saying and gasped,
"What are you doing?"

The little boy answered,
"I'm doing my math homework, Mom."

"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother
asked.

"Yes," he answered.

Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day,
"What are you teaching my son in math?"

The teacher replied,
"Right now, we are learning addition."

The mother asked,
"And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a
bitch is four?"

After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered,
"What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four..

great one ,keep it going !

 

[queen naush]

A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. He gave each kid in the class the first half of the proverb and asked them to come up with the rest. Here is what the kids came up with:

Better to be safe than . . . punch a 5th grader.

Strike while the . . . bug is close.

It's always darkest before . . . daylight savings time.

You can't teach an old dog . . . math.

If you lie down with dogs, you . . . will stink in the morning.

Happy is the bride who . . . gets all the presents.

A penny saved is . . . not much.

If at first you don't succeed . . . get new batteries.

When the blind lead the blind . . . get out of the way

People in glass houses shouldn't . . . run around naked.

 

[fido!]

A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. He gave each kid in the class the first half of the proverb and asked them to come up with the rest. Here is what the kids came up with:

Better to be safe than . . . punch a 5th grader.

Strike while the . . . bug is close.

It's always darkest before . . . daylight savings time.

You can't teach an old dog . . . math.

If you lie down with dogs, you . . . will stink in the morning.

Happy is the bride who . . . gets all the presents.

A penny saved is . . . not much.

If at first you don't succeed . . . get new batteries.

When the blind lead the blind . . . get out of the way

People in glass houses shouldn't . . . run around naked.

 

[queen naush]

 

[fido!]

 

[quest_life]

That was fun....I love that glasshouse stuff !!

A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. He gave each kid in the class the first half of the proverb and asked them to come up with the rest. Here is what the kids came up with:

Better to be safe than . . . punch a 5th grader.

Strike while the . . . bug is close.

It's always darkest before . . . daylight savings time.

You can't teach an old dog . . . math.

If you lie down with dogs, you . . . will stink in the morning.

Happy is the bride who . . . gets all the presents.

A penny saved is . . . not much.

If at first you don't succeed . . . get new batteries.

When the blind lead the blind . . . get out of the way

People in glass houses shouldn't . . . run around naked.

 

[D(M)ental]

cool!!
like the one about dogs!

A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. He gave each kid in the class the first half of the proverb and asked them to come up with the rest. Here is what the kids came up with:

Better to be safe than . . . punch a 5th grader.

Strike while the . . . bug is close.

It's always darkest before . . . daylight savings time.

You can't teach an old dog . . . math.

If you lie down with dogs, you . . . will stink in the morning.

Happy is the bride who . . . gets all the presents.

A penny saved is . . . not much.

If at first you don't succeed . . . get new batteries.

When the blind lead the blind . . . get out of the way

People in glass houses shouldn't . . . run around naked.

 

[dentusa_2005]

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0 , Hunting and Fishing 7.5 , and Racing 3.6.

I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 , but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0 . Please help!

Thanks,
Troubled User.....

_____________________________________
REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0 . It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony/Child Support . I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE! because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance . Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0 , Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2 .

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 . Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3 . This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system!

Best of luck,

Tech Support

 

[CALALILY]

That was hilarious dentusa... i am sure many men (and women alike) agree with that "technical support" issue.
Good one..

 

[vpg]

Hilarious

 

[CALALILY]

A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in
the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's
dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that
there were several cabs - and I was in the wrong one.

Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio, TX

*****************

At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and
slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I
instructed. "Yes, they used to be," remorsed the patient

Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA

************************

One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her
husb and had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five
minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he
had died of a "massive internal fart."

Dr. Susan Steinberg, Manitoba, Canada

******************

I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test.
I placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began, "Cover your
right eye with your hand." He read the 20/20 line perfectly. "Now your
left." Again , a flawless read. "Now both," I requested. There was
silence. He couldn't even read the large E on the top line. I turned and
discovered that he had done exactly what I had asked; he was standing
there with both his eyes covered. I was laughing too hard to finish the
exam.

Dr. Matthew Theodropolous, Worcester, MA

********************

During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist,
he informed me, his doctor, that he was having tro uble with one of his
medications. "Which one?" I asked. "The patch. The nurse told me to put
on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put
it!" I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't
see Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now, the
instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.

Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA

*******************

While acquainting myself with a new e lderly patient, I asked, "How long
have you been bedridden?" After a look of complete confusion she
answered... "Why, not for about twenty years -when my husband was
alive."

Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis, OR


******************

I was caring for a woman and asked, "So how's your breakfast this
morning?" "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem
to get used to the taste" the patient replied. I then asked to see the
jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly."

Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI

*****************

A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room, when a young woman with
purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of
tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly
determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled
for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating
table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and
above it there was a tattoo that read, "Keep off the grass." Once the
surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's
dressing, which said, "Sorry, had to mow the lawn."


********************
and finally...
A new, young MD doing his residency in OB was quite embarrassed
performing female pelvic exams. To cover his embarrassment he had
unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle-aged lady
upon whom he was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and
further embarrassed him. He looked up from his work and sheepishly said,
"I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?" She replied, "No doctor, but the song
you were whistling was, "I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener".

Dr. wouldn't admit his name

 

[mekha]

The parents were a little worried, as the son was still unable to decide about his career path... so they decided to do a small test.

They took a ten-dollar bill, a Bible, and a bottle of whiskey, and put them on the front hall table. Then they hid, hoping he would think they weren't at home.

The father told the mother, "If he takes the money he will be a businessman, if he takes the Bible he will be a priest - but if he takes the bottle of whiskey, I'm afraid our son will be a drunkard."

So the parents took their place in the nearby closet and waited nervously. Peeping through the keyhole they saw their son arrive home. He saw the note they had left, saying they'd be home later. Then, he took the 10-dollar bill, looked at it against the light, and slid it in his pocket.

After that, he took the Bible, flicked through it, and took it also.

Finally, he grabbed the bottle, opened it, and took an appreciative whiff to be assured of the quality. Then he left for his room, carrying all the three items.

The father slapped his forehead, and said: "Damn, it's even worse than I ever imagined..."

"What do you mean?" his wife inquired.

"Our son is going to be a politician!"
-----------------------------------------------------------


During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked
the Director, "What is the criterion that defines a
patient to be institutionalized?"

"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, we
offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the
patient and ask the patient to empty the bathtub."

1. Would you use the spoon?
2. Would you use the teacup?
3. Would you use the bucket?

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal
person would choose the bucket as it is larger than
the spoon or the teacup."


"Noooooo," answered the Director.
"A normal person would pull the plug."
(You are not required to tell anyone how you did on this test.)

 

[queen naush]

The parents were a little worried, as the son was still unable to decide about his career path... so they decided to do a small test.

They took a ten-dollar bill, a Bible, and a bottle of whiskey, and put them on the front hall table. Then they hid, hoping he would think they weren't at home.

The father told the mother, "If he takes the money he will be a businessman, if he takes the Bible he will be a priest - but if he takes the bottle of whiskey, I'm afraid our son will be a drunkard."

So the parents took their place in the nearby closet and waited nervously. Peeping through the keyhole they saw their son arrive home. He saw the note they had left, saying they'd be home later. Then, he took the 10-dollar bill, looked at it against the light, and slid it in his pocket.

After that, he took the Bible, flicked through it, and took it also.

Finally, he grabbed the bottle, opened it, and took an appreciative whiff to be assured of the quality. Then he left for his room, carrying all the three items.

The father slapped his forehead, and said: "Damn, it's even worse than I ever imagined..."

"What do you mean?" his wife inquired.

"Our son is going to be a politician!"

HA-HA-HA!

 

[fido!]

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0 , Hunting and Fishing 7.5 , and Racing 3.6.

I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 , but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0 . Please help!

Thanks,
Troubled User.....

_____________________________________
REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0 . It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony/Child Support . I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE! because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance . Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0 , Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2 .

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 . Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3 . This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system!

Best of luck,

Tech Support

 

[queen naush]

-----------------------------------------------------------


During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked
the Director, "What is the criterion that defines a
patient to be institutionalized?"

"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, we
offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the
patient and ask the patient to empty the bathtub."

1. Would you use the spoon?
2. Would you use the teacup?
3. Would you use the bucket?

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal
person would choose the bucket as it is larger than
the spoon or the teacup."


"Noooooo," answered the Director.
"A normal person would pull the plug."
(You are not required to tell anyone how you did on this test.)

hahaha! this one almost had me too!! that was a good one mekhzz!

 

[fido!]

lol!good one!


One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her
husb and had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five
minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he
had died of a "massive internal fart."

 

[fido!]

good!



"Our son is going to be a politician!"

 

[mekha]

If marriages are made in heaven , then what are made in Hell?
Ans : the days after marriage

----------------------------------------------------------

During Marriage ceremony why is the bridegroom is made to sit on the horse?
He is given his last chance to run away.

-------------------------------------------------------

Just close ur eyes and think of urself for 10 seconds........................... Open ur eyes !
Now you will realize that u have wasted 10 sec in thinking of a fool............

-------------------------------------------------
januauary to december
sunday to saturday
Am to Pm
My feelings for u have never changed.......
U....
R....
always.... a HEADACHE to me !!!!
--------------------------------------------------
When u feel lonely and alone & cannot see any one around you, the world seems to be fading away, come along with me i'll take u to a eye specialist !!

 

[mekha]

REASONS WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN WOMEN

Chocolate never keeps you waiting.
Chocolate doesn’t get jealous when you look at another chocolate bar.
You never have to buy a box of chocolates for a box of chocolates.
Chocolate doesn’t talk incessantly while you’re watching the football.
It doesn’t expect you to remember the anniversary of the first time you met.
Chocolate isn’t looking for a long term commitment.

---------------------------------------------------------------
!!!!!!!!!!!Effective Communication!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jack and Max are walking from religious service.Jack wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying.
Max replies, "Why don't you ask the Priest?"
So Jack goes up to the Priest and asks, "Priest,may I smoke while I pray?"
But the Priest says, "No, my son, you may not. That's utter disrespect to our religion."
Jack goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Priest told him.
Max says, "I'm not surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try."
And so Max goes up to the Priest and asks, "Priest, may I pray while I smoke?"
To which the Priest eagerly replies,"By all means,my son. By all means."

Moral : The reply you get depends on the question you ask.
For Example : Can I work on this project while I'm on vacation
------------------------------------------------------------------

 

[quest_life]

hahahhahah

that was funny....---------------------------------------------------------------
!!!!!!!!!!!Effective Communication!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jack and Max are walking from religious service.Jack wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying.
Max replies, "Why don't you ask the Priest?"
So Jack goes up to the Priest and asks, "Priest,may I smoke while I pray?"
But the Priest says, "No, my son, you may not. That's utter disrespect to our religion."
Jack goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Priest told him.
Max says, "I'm not surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try."
And so Max goes up to the Priest and asks, "Priest, may I pray while I smoke?"
To which the Priest eagerly replies,"By all means,my son. By all means."

Moral : The reply you get depends on the question you ask.
For Example : Can I work on this project while I'm on vacation
------------------------------------------------------------------[/QUOTE]

 

[fido!]

good one,mekha!

REASONS WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN WOMEN

Chocolate never keeps you waiting.
Chocolate doesn’t get jealous when you look at another chocolate bar.
You never have to buy a box of chocolates for a box of chocolates.
Chocolate doesn’t talk incessantly while you’re watching the football.
It doesn’t expect you to remember the anniversary of the first time you met.
Chocolate isn’t looking for a long term commitment.

---------------------------------------------------------------
!!!!!!!!!!!Effective Communication!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jack and Max are walking from religious service.Jack wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying.
Max replies, "Why don't you ask the Priest?"
So Jack goes up to the Priest and asks, "Priest,may I smoke while I pray?"
But the Priest says, "No, my son, you may not. That's utter disrespect to our religion."
Jack goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Priest told him.
Max says, "I'm not surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try."
And so Max goes up to the Priest and asks, "Priest, may I pray while I smoke?"
To which the Priest eagerly replies,"By all means,my son. By all means."

Moral : The reply you get depends on the question you ask.
For Example : Can I work on this project while I'm on vacation
------------------------------------------------------------------

 

[fido!]

Femme fatales and fizzy drinks

So, you're trying to sell a soft drink.
Chances are you might not have a script for an ad yet, but you've probably finalised which Bollywood babe you want to have, with fingers around a cold bottle, simpering seductively.

With every film industry female on the endorsement bandwagon, all the A-listers can be seen in the most advertised products on television -- the colas. Here's a look at the ladies arching it up for aerated water:

Mallika Sherawat

Madame M is doing 7up.

Compared to the rest of her colleagues, Mallika's ad is almost a good one. The actress lies on a couch, and when Fido Dido grants her three wishes, the statuesque Ms Sherawat wants to be cooler, more curvy, and what every man wants. Fido, ever the star, turns her into a bright green bottle of 7up. Except for disagreeing vehemently with the 'more curvy' claim, this isn't a bad job.

 

[queen naush]

Femme fatales and fizzy drinks

So, you're trying to sell a soft drink.
Chances are you might not have a script for an ad yet, but you've probably finalised which Bollywood babe you want to have, with fingers around a cold bottle, simpering seductively.

With every film industry female on the endorsement bandwagon, all the A-listers can be seen in the most advertised products on television -- the colas. Here's a look at the ladies arching it up for aerated water:

Mallika Sherawat

Madame M is doing 7up.

Compared to the rest of her colleagues, Mallika's ad is almost a good one. The actress lies on a couch, and when Fido Dido grants her three wishes, the statuesque Ms Sherawat wants to be cooler, more curvy, and what every man wants. Fido, ever the star, turns her into a bright green bottle of 7up. Except for disagreeing vehemently with the 'more curvy' claim, this isn't a bad job.

 

[quest_life]

....Prady I knew u wud like this ad.....

but personally I feel Madame M shuld chose a different line of cinema....

Femme fatales and fizzy drinks

So, you're trying to sell a soft drink.
Chances are you might not have a script for an ad yet, but you've probably finalised which Bollywood babe you want to have, with fingers around a cold bottle, simpering seductively.

With every film industry female on the endorsement bandwagon, all the A-listers can be seen in the most advertised products on television -- the colas. Here's a look at the ladies arching it up for aerated water:

Mallika Sherawat

Madame M is doing 7up.

Compared to the rest of her colleagues, Mallika's ad is almost a good one. The actress lies on a couch, and when Fido Dido grants her three wishes, the statuesque Ms Sherawat wants to be cooler, more curvy, and what every man wants. Fido, ever the star, turns her into a bright green bottle of 7up. Except for disagreeing vehemently with the 'more curvy' claim, this isn't a bad job.

 

[dentistjas]

A young man learns what's most important in life from the wise man next door.

It had been some time since Jack had seen the old man. College, girls, career, and life itself got in the way. In fact, Jack moved clear across the country in pursuit of his dreams. There, in the rush of his busy life, Jack had little time to think about the past and often no time to spend with his wife and son. He was working on his future, and nothing could stop him.

Over the phone, his mother told him, "Mr. Belser died last night.
The funeral is Wednesday." Memories flashed through his mind like an old newsreel as he sat quietly remembering his childhood days.

"Jack, did you hear me?"

"Oh, sorry, Mom. Yes, I heard you. It's been so long since I thought of him. I'm sorry, but I honestly thought he died years ago," Jack said.

"Well, he didn't forget you. Every time I saw him he'd ask how you were doing. He'd reminisce about the many days you spent over 'his side of the fence' as he put it," Mom told him.

"I loved that old house he lived in," Jack said.

"You know, Jack, after your father died, Mr Belser stepped in to make sure you had a man's influence in your life," she said.

"He's the one who taught me carpentry," he said. "I wouldn't be in this business if it weren't for him. He spent a lot of time teaching me things he thought were important...Mom, I'll be there for the funeral," Jack said.

As busy as he was, he kept his word. Jack caught the next flight to his hometown. Mr. Belser's funeral was small and uneventful. He had no children of his own, and most of his relatives had passed away.

The night before he had to return home, Jack and his Mom stopped by to see the old house next door one more time.

Standing in the doorway, Jack paused for a
moment. It was like crossing over into another dimension, a leap through space and time.

The house was exactly as he remembered.
Every step held memories. Every picture, every piece of furniture....Jack stopped suddenly.

"What's wrong, Jack?" his Mom asked.

"The box is gone," he said

"What box?" Mom asked.

"There was a small gold box that he kept locked on top of his desk. I must have asked him a thousand times what was inside. All he'd ever tell me
was 'the thing I value most,' " Jack said.

It was gone. Everything about the house was exactly how Jack remembered it, except for the box. He figured someone from the Belser family had taken it.

"Now I'll never know what was so valuable to him," Jack said. "I better get some sleep. I have an early flight home, Mom."

It had been about two weeks since Mr. Belser died Returning home from work one day Jack discovered a note in his mailbox.


"Signature required on a package. No one at home. Please stop by the main post office within the next three days," the note read.

Early the next day Jack retrieved the package. The small box was old and looked like it had been mailed a hundred years ago. The handwriting was difficult to read, but the return address caught his attention. "Mr. Harold Belser" it read.

Jack took the box out to his car and ripped open
the package. There inside was the gold box and an envelope. Jack's hands shook as he read the note inside.

"Upon my death, please forward this box and its contents to Jack Bennett. It's the thing I valued most in my life." A small key was taped to the letter. His heart racing, as tears filling his eyes,
Jack carefully unlocked the box. There inside he found a beautiful gold pocket watch.

Running his fingers slowly over the finely etched casing, he unlatched the cover. Inside he found these words engraved:

"Jack, Thanks for your time! -Harold Belser."

"The thing he valued most was...my time"

Jack held the watch for a few minutes, then
called his office and cleared his appointments for the next two days. "Why?" Janet, his assistant asked.

"I need some time to spend with my son," he said.

"Oh, by the way, Janet, thanks for your time!"

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away,"

 

[NileBDS]

That was a beautiful story, although I thought the ending was kind of lame. We should come up with an alternative, more interesting one ...
Like when he opens the box, he finds his real birth certificate, and discovers that his real name is not Jack ! Maybe the old man was really his long lost uncle, who took care of him after his abusive parents lost custody of him, and .... ok ... i'll stop now.
Creativity ... (and some drama).
Anyone ?

 

[queen naush]

That was a beautiful story, although I thought the ending was kind of lame. We should come up with an alternative, more interesting one ...
Like when he opens the box, he finds his real birth certificate, and discovers that his real name is not Jack ! Maybe the old man was really his long lost uncle, who took care of him after his abusive parents lost custody of him, and .... ok ... i'll stop now.
Creativity ... (and some drama).
Anyone ?

Or maybe like when Jack opens the box and finds 2 tickets to the knicks game! yup that's valuable enough! wooohoo! way to go jack!
moral of the story: always be good to your neighbor. u'll never know when he'll die and leave you free stuff behind.

 

[fido!]

yeAAh...right! u know me pretty well!

....Prady I knew u wud like this ad.....

 

[fido!]

good story!way to go,dj!

A young man learns what's most important in life from the wise man next door.

It had been some time since Jack had seen the old man. College, girls, career, and life itself got in the way. In fact, Jack moved clear across the country in pursuit of his dreams. There, in the rush of his busy life, Jack had little time to think about the past and often no time to spend with his wife and son. He was working on his future, and nothing could stop him.

Over the phone, his mother told him, "Mr. Belser died last night.
The funeral is Wednesday." Memories flashed through his mind like an old newsreel as he sat quietly remembering his childhood days.

"Jack, did you hear me?"

"Oh, sorry, Mom. Yes, I heard you. It's been so long since I thought of him. I'm sorry, but I honestly thought he died years ago," Jack said.

"Well, he didn't forget you. Every time I saw him he'd ask how you were doing. He'd reminisce about the many days you spent over 'his side of the fence' as he put it," Mom told him.

"I loved that old house he lived in," Jack said.

"You know, Jack, after your father died, Mr Belser stepped in to make sure you had a man's influence in your life," she said.

"He's the one who taught me carpentry," he said. "I wouldn't be in this business if it weren't for him. He spent a lot of time teaching me things he thought were important...Mom, I'll be there for the funeral," Jack said.

As busy as he was, he kept his word. Jack caught the next flight to his hometown. Mr. Belser's funeral was small and uneventful. He had no children of his own, and most of his relatives had passed away.

The night before he had to return home, Jack and his Mom stopped by to see the old house next door one more time.

Standing in the doorway, Jack paused for a
moment. It was like crossing over into another dimension, a leap through space and time.

The house was exactly as he remembered.
Every step held memories. Every picture, every piece of furniture....Jack stopped suddenly.

"What's wrong, Jack?" his Mom asked.

"The box is gone," he said

"What box?" Mom asked.

"There was a small gold box that he kept locked on top of his desk. I must have asked him a thousand times what was inside. All he'd ever tell me
was 'the thing I value most,' " Jack said.

It was gone. Everything about the house was exactly how Jack remembered it, except for the box. He figured someone from the Belser family had taken it.

"Now I'll never know what was so valuable to him," Jack said. "I better get some sleep. I have an early flight home, Mom."

It had been about two weeks since Mr. Belser died Returning home from work one day Jack discovered a note in his mailbox.


"Signature required on a package. No one at home. Please stop by the main post office within the next three days," the note read.

Early the next day Jack retrieved the package. The small box was old and looked like it had been mailed a hundred years ago. The handwriting was difficult to read, but the return address caught his attention. "Mr. Harold Belser" it read.

Jack took the box out to his car and ripped open
the package. There inside was the gold box and an envelope. Jack's hands shook as he read the note inside.

"Upon my death, please forward this box and its contents to Jack Bennett. It's the thing I valued most in my life." A small key was taped to the letter. His heart racing, as tears filling his eyes,
Jack carefully unlocked the box. There inside he found a beautiful gold pocket watch.

Running his fingers slowly over the finely etched casing, he unlatched the cover. Inside he found these words engraved:

"Jack, Thanks for your time! -Harold Belser."

"The thing he valued most was...my time"

Jack held the watch for a few minutes, then
called his office and cleared his appointments for the next two days. "Why?" Janet, his assistant asked.

"I need some time to spend with my son," he said.

"Oh, by the way, Janet, thanks for your time!"

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away,"

 

[fido!]

creativity...huh?how about this...he opens up the box to find out who was his long lost dad?
naaaa...thatz too much...is'nt it?

That was a beautiful story, although I thought the ending was kind of lame. We should come up with an alternative, more interesting one ...
Like when he opens the box, he finds his real birth certificate, and discovers that his real name is not Jack ! Maybe the old man was really his long lost uncle, who took care of him after his abusive parents lost custody of him, and .... ok ... i'll stop now.
Creativity ... (and some drama).
Anyone ?

 

[quest_life]

That's such a beautiful story.....time passes by and we dnt even realise so many things......ty for posting this............

A young man learns what's most important in life from the wise man next door.

It had been some time since Jack had seen the old man. College, girls, career, and life itself got in the way. In fact, Jack moved clear across the country in pursuit of his dreams. There, in the rush of his busy life, Jack had little time to think about the past and often no time to spend with his wife and son. He was working on his future, and nothing could stop him.

Over the phone, his mother told him, "Mr. Belser died last night.
The funeral is Wednesday." Memories flashed through his mind like an old newsreel as he sat quietly remembering his childhood days.

"Jack, did you hear me?"

"Oh, sorry, Mom. Yes, I heard you. It's been so long since I thought of him. I'm sorry, but I honestly thought he died years ago," Jack said.

"Well, he didn't forget you. Every time I saw him he'd ask how you were doing. He'd reminisce about the many days you spent over 'his side of the fence' as he put it," Mom told him.

"I loved that old house he lived in," Jack said.

"You know, Jack, after your father died, Mr Belser stepped in to make sure you had a man's influence in your life," she said.

"He's the one who taught me carpentry," he said. "I wouldn't be in this business if it weren't for him. He spent a lot of time teaching me things he thought were important...Mom, I'll be there for the funeral," Jack said.

As busy as he was, he kept his word. Jack caught the next flight to his hometown. Mr. Belser's funeral was small and uneventful. He had no children of his own, and most of his relatives had passed away.

The night before he had to return home, Jack and his Mom stopped by to see the old house next door one more time.

Standing in the doorway, Jack paused for a
moment. It was like crossing over into another dimension, a leap through space and time.

The house was exactly as he remembered.
Every step held memories. Every picture, every piece of furniture....Jack stopped suddenly.

"What's wrong, Jack?" his Mom asked.

"The box is gone," he said

"What box?" Mom asked.

"There was a small gold box that he kept locked on top of his desk. I must have asked him a thousand times what was inside. All he'd ever tell me
was 'the thing I value most,' " Jack said.

It was gone. Everything about the house was exactly how Jack remembered it, except for the box. He figured someone from the Belser family had taken it.

"Now I'll never know what was so valuable to him," Jack said. "I better get some sleep. I have an early flight home, Mom."

It had been about two weeks since Mr. Belser died Returning home from work one day Jack discovered a note in his mailbox.


"Signature required on a package. No one at home. Please stop by the main post office within the next three days," the note read.

Early the next day Jack retrieved the package. The small box was old and looked like it had been mailed a hundred years ago. The handwriting was difficult to read, but the return address caught his attention. "Mr. Harold Belser" it read.

Jack took the box out to his car and ripped open
the package. There inside was the gold box and an envelope. Jack's hands shook as he read the note inside.

"Upon my death, please forward this box and its contents to Jack Bennett. It's the thing I valued most in my life." A small key was taped to the letter. His heart racing, as tears filling his eyes,
Jack carefully unlocked the box. There inside he found a beautiful gold pocket watch.

Running his fingers slowly over the finely etched casing, he unlatched the cover. Inside he found these words engraved:

"Jack, Thanks for your time! -Harold Belser."

"The thing he valued most was...my time"

Jack held the watch for a few minutes, then
called his office and cleared his appointments for the next two days. "Why?" Janet, his assistant asked.

"I need some time to spend with my son," he said.

"Oh, by the way, Janet, thanks for your time!"

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away,"

 

[quest_life]

if dentistry gets boring for u....u shuld try Indian cinema.....yap u can be really rich there


!!

That was a beautiful story, although I thought the ending was kind of lame. We should come up with an alternative, more interesting one ...
Like when he opens the box, he finds his real birth certificate, and discovers that his real name is not Jack ! Maybe the old man was really his long lost uncle, who took care of him after his abusive parents lost custody of him, and .... ok ... i'll stop now.
Creativity ... (and some drama).
Anyone ?

 

[lil gurl]

:

 

[queen naush]

i want some comments abt this // .. does any1 find this funny !?!

turn on ur speakers and listen to this song ! funniest song ever heard !

http://www.computerpranks.com/download/online-fun/jingle_bells_reversed.swf

thanks !

that was nasty [and scary!!] argh!

 

[fido!]

i do agree!

that was nasty [and scary!!] argh!

 

[mouth mirror]

Have u seen this,,,guys ???

www.boreme.com/boreme/funny-2005/earth-mover-p1.php

 

[dentistjas]

i want some comments abt this // .. does any1 find this funny !?!

turn on ur speakers and listen to this song ! funniest song ever heard !

http://www.computerpranks.com/download/online-fun/jingle_bells_reversed.swf

thanks !

Wow...good Lord. This is the 1st time ever that i have been ACTUALLY scared and really covered my eyes tight.

This mayb cause i was in low spirits today and thought that this might cheer me up up but it screwed up my mind even more.

Anyways, it was a good freaky one

 

[queen naush]

Wow...good Lord. This is the 1st time ever that i have been ACTUALLY scared and really covered my eyes tight.

This mayb cause i was in low spirits today and thought that this might cheer me up up but it screwed up my mind even more.

Anyways, it was a good freaky one [/QUOT

aawwww! thats why i had said that is nasty and SCARY! i guess u might have overlooked that post. here's something that will keep u busy for hours and u might forget whatever it was that's bothering you.... http://members.iinet.net.au/~pontipak/redsquare.html
have fun!

 

[Aspita]

Wow...good Lord. This is the 1st time ever that i have been ACTUALLY scared and really covered my eyes tight.

This mayb cause i was in low spirits today and thought that this might cheer me up up but it screwed up my mind even more.

Anyways, it was a good freaky one

OH MY GOSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THAT REALLY WOKE ME UP!! I'm ready for school now! I laugh for a long time I don't usually get scared but this did it!! and I was home alone! good one!

 

[NileBDS]

Have u seen this,,,guys ???

www.boreme.com/boreme/funny-2005/earth-mover-p1.php

OH MY GOD ! That thing is out of this world !!!!!!! It looks like some kind of freak machine out of a sci-fi movie that's about to take over the world !
I wonder how many miles per gallon that beast gets ... do you think it's a hybrid ?

 

[NileBDS]

if dentistry gets boring for u....u shuld try Indian cinema.....yap u can be really rich there


!!

Actually, I did watch some Indian movies (bollywood?) as a kid, and did find them quite entertaining for the whole 7 hours ... My cousins are bollywood movie junkies, and can challenge many bollywood fans on trivia ... trust me on that one. They speak pretty good urdu (?) now just by watching 'Amitab Batchan', 'Ummar Akbar' and the likes.
I can't forget this one movie though ... I think it was called two brothers ? LOL !! OH MY GOD was it funny ! On the other hand, they found it to be quite tragic ! Go figure ...
Help me out someone ... two guys seperated at birth. One of the brothers was a cop I think, and the other was a gang member. They then later came to find out that they were brothers or something ... what was it called ?
But yeah, I had some inspiration

 

[quest_life]

So u do watch "Hindi" not Urdu movies then ? Cool arent they...just that u got to leave ur brains at home b4 u go ahead to watch them !! But these days things are changing we have really good movies....

Iam not a huge movie buff to wnt be able to ansswer help u with the title of brothers separated at birth kind of stories....really there are so many of them....

I love parallel cinema, happening these days...that's good stuff....

Actually, I did watch some Indian movies (bollywood?) as a kid, and did find them quite entertaining for the whole 7 hours ... My cousins are bollywood movie junkies, and can challenge many bollywood fans on trivia ... trust me on that one. They speak pretty good urdu (?) now just by watching 'Amitab Batchan', 'Ummar Akbar' and the likes.
I can't forget this one movie though ... I think it was called two brothers ? LOL !! OH MY GOD was it funny ! On the other hand, they found it to be quite tragic ! Go figure ...
Help me out someone ... two guys seperated at birth. One of the brothers was a cop I think, and the other was a gang member. They then later came to find out that they were brothers or something ... what was it called ?
But yeah, I had some inspiration

 

[Dushyant]

Hi,hope u like this one....................

BE CAREFUL ABT THE E-MAIL ADDRESS
A man checked into a hotel somewhere in Africa. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife.

However, he accidentally typed a wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile....Somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned from her husband's funeral.

The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting condolence messages from relatives and friends.

After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:
---------------------------------------------------------------------
To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Reached
Date: 16 March 2006

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here, and
we are allowed to send e-mails to loved ones. I've just reached and have
been checked in.

I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you TOMORROW!

Your loving Hubby,

 

[fido!]

!that was a good one!

Hi,hope u like this one....................

BE CAREFUL ABT THE E-MAIL ADDRESS
A man checked into a hotel somewhere in Africa. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife.

However, he accidentally typed a wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile....Somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned from her husband's funeral.

The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting condolence messages from relatives and friends.

After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:
---------------------------------------------------------------------
To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Reached
Date: 16 March 2006

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here, and
we are allowed to send e-mails to loved ones. I've just reached and have
been checked in.

I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you TOMORROW!

Your loving Hubby,

 

[fido!]

hey guys,
click on the link below...one of my pals forwarded me the following!man,itz hilarious!enjoy!!!

http://www.triplekiss.com/Video/NBC HELP DESK.html

 

[dentistjas]

Wow...good Lord. This is the 1st time ever that i have been ACTUALLY scared and really covered my eyes tight.

This mayb cause i was in low spirits today and thought that this might cheer me up up but it screwed up my mind even more.

Anyways, it was a good freaky one [/QUOT

aawwww! thats why i had said that is nasty and SCARY! i guess u might have overlooked that post. here's something that will keep u busy for hours and u might forget whatever it was that's bothering you.... http://members.iinet.net.au/~pontipak/redsquare.html
have fun!

That was SUPERB queen naush. I loved that....My highest so far was 25.609
Thanks a ton for sending in that