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I have copied this from an e-mail received today:



For all of us who feel the deepest love and affection for the way computers
have enhanced our lives, Read on.



At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer
industry with the Auto industry and stated “If GM (Vauxhall) had kept up
with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving £25
cars that would do 1000,00 miles to the gallon”



In response to bills comments, GM (Vauxhall) issued a press release
stating:-



“If we had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars
with the following characteristics. (This is brilliant and very true)



* For no reason whatsoever, you car would crash twice a day.
* Every time they repainted the lines in the road you would have to
buy a new car
* Occasionally you car would die on the motorway for no reason. You
would have to pull on to the hard shoulder , close all of the windows, shut
off the car, restart it and then reopen the windows before you could
continue.
* Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause
your car to shutdown and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to
reinstall the engine
* Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was
reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive – but would only run
on 5% of the roads
* The oil, water temperature and the alternator warning lights would
all be replaced buy one single light saying “This car has performed an
illegal operation”
* The airbag would ask “Are you sure” before deploying
* Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, you car would lock you out
and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle,
turned the key and grabbed holed of the radio antenna.
* Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn
how to drive all over again because none of the controls of the old car
would work in the new car! :laugh:
Members don't see this ad.
 
Hilarious ..............good one,rahmed!
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
 
rahmed said:
I have copied this from an e-mail received today:



For all of us who feel the deepest love and affection for the way computers
have enhanced our lives, Read on.



At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer
industry with the Auto industry and stated “If GM (Vauxhall) had kept up
with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving £25
cars that would do 1000,00 miles to the gallon”



In response to bills comments, GM (Vauxhall) issued a press release
stating:-



“If we had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars
with the following characteristics. (This is brilliant and very true)



* For no reason whatsoever, you car would crash twice a day.
* Every time they repainted the lines in the road you would have to
buy a new car
* Occasionally you car would die on the motorway for no reason. You
would have to pull on to the hard shoulder , close all of the windows, shut
off the car, restart it and then reopen the windows before you could
continue.
* Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause
your car to shutdown and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to
reinstall the engine
* Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was
reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive – but would only run
on 5% of the roads
* The oil, water temperature and the alternator warning lights would
all be replaced buy one single light saying “This car has performed an
illegal operation”
* The airbag would ask “Are you sure” before deploying
* Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, you car would lock you out
and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle,
turned the key and grabbed holed of the radio antenna.
* Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn
how to drive all over again because none of the controls of the old car
would work in the new car! :laugh:
Click to expand...

Very nice :laugh: :laugh:
 
Members don't see this ad :)
one of my pals send me this via email!thought of sharing with u guys and i hope u like it! :laugh:


A new vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on the door on the first house of the
street.
A tall lady answered the door.

Before she could speak, the enthusiastic salesman barged into the living
room and
opened a big black plastic bag and poured all the cow droppings onto the
carpet.

"Madam, if I could not clean this up with the use of this new powerful
vacuum cleaner,
I will EAT all this s...!", exclaimed the eager salesman.

Do you need chilli sauce or ketchup with that" asked the lady.

The bewildered salesman asked, "Why, madam?"

"We just moved in, & there's no electricity in the house!"
 
That is funny in a gross way ... but that still doesn't take away of the fact that it is funny ... yet gross ! You get my point ... :rolleyes:
 
Ever wondered what was behind mount rushmore ? Here's a hint ...
 

Attachments

  • Mt Rushmore.JPG
    Mt Rushmore.JPG
    24.4 KB · Views: 120
sorry dude...had no intention to gross u out! :laugh: :smuggrin:
NileBDS said:
That is funny in a gross way ... but that still doesn't take away of the fact that it is funny ... yet gross ! You get my point ... :rolleyes:
Click to expand...
 
Members don't see this ad :)
mekha said:
REASONS WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN WOMEN

Chocolate never keeps you waiting.
Chocolate doesn’t get jealous when you look at another chocolate bar.
You never have to buy a box of chocolates for a box of chocolates.
Chocolate doesn’t talk incessantly while you’re watching the football.
It doesn’t expect you to remember the anniversary of the first time you met.
Chocolate isn’t looking for a long term commitment.

--------------------------------------------------------------- ;)
!!!!!!!!!!!Effective Communication!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jack and Max are walking from religious service.Jack wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying.
Max replies, "Why don't you ask the Priest?"
So Jack goes up to the Priest and asks, "Priest,may I smoke while I pray?"
But the Priest says, "No, my son, you may not. That's utter disrespect to our religion."
Jack goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Priest told him.
Max says, "I'm not surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try."
And so Max goes up to the Priest and asks, "Priest, may I pray while I smoke?"
To which the Priest eagerly replies,"By all means,my son. By all means."

Moral : The reply you get depends on the question you ask.
For Example : Can I work on this project while I'm on vacation
------------------------------------------------------------------
Click to expand...
hey mekha check this out! :) WHy chocolate is better than men?
Chocolate is rich, dark & satisfying.
2. You're never disappointed when you open the wrapper.
3. Chocolate doesn't care how many pieces you've eaten before.
4. Chocolate always hits the spot.
5. Chocolate doesn't secretly want to be eaten by your best friend.
6. Chocolate doesn't think the shopping channel is stupid.
7. Chocolate always smells good.
8. Chocolate won't ask "Am I the best" or "How was it?"
9. It doesn't sulk if you don't want it first thing in the morning.
10. Chocolate's are easy to pick up.
11. Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.
12. You can suck a piece of chocolate even in front of your mother.
13. Chocolate never leaves a bad taste in your mouth.
14. Chocolate doesn't matter what time of the month it is.
15. You don't mind the brown stains left by chocolate.
16. With chocolate, size doesn't really matter, it's always good.
17. Chocolates do not wear white socks.
18. Chocolate doesn't mind when you bite it's nuts.
19. With chocolates, you don't have to be a virgin more than once.
20. "If you love me, you'll swallow that" has real meaning with
chocolate.
21. You can have more than one chocolate a night without ruining your
reputation.
22. Chocolate doesn't just think it's smooth.
23. Chocolates aren't into rope or leather.
24. You can tell just by looking at it, that it hasn't been in anyone
else's mouth.
 
evamm said:
hey mekha check this out! :) WHy chocolate is better than men?
Chocolate is rich, dark & satisfying.
2. You're never disappointed when you open the wrapper.
3. Chocolate doesn't care how many pieces you've eaten before.
4. Chocolate always hits the spot.
5. Chocolate doesn't secretly want to be eaten by your best friend.
6. Chocolate doesn't think the shopping channel is stupid.
7. Chocolate always smells good.
8. Chocolate won't ask "Am I the best" or "How was it?"
9. It doesn't sulk if you don't want it first thing in the morning.
10. Chocolate's are easy to pick up.
11. Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.
12. You can suck a piece of chocolate even in front of your mother.
13. Chocolate never leaves a bad taste in your mouth.
14. Chocolate doesn't matter what time of the month it is.
15. You don't mind the brown stains left by chocolate.
16. With chocolate, size doesn't really matter, it's always good.
17. Chocolates do not wear white socks.
18. Chocolate doesn't mind when you bite it's nuts.
19. With chocolates, you don't have to be a virgin more than once.
20. "If you love me, you'll swallow that" has real meaning with
chocolate.
21. You can have more than one chocolate a night without ruining your
reputation.
22. Chocolate doesn't just think it's smooth.
23. Chocolates aren't into rope or leather.
24. You can tell just by looking at it, that it hasn't been in anyone
else's mouth.
Click to expand...
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Yay!! for chocolates.
Chocoholics unite!!!
 
It took me a while to find this thread again ! :)


Found this in my inbox this morning;



A woman called a local hospital. "Hello. Could you connect me to the person who gives information about patients. I'd like to find out if a family member is doing better."



The voice on the other end said, "What is the patient's name and room
number?"



"Sarah Finkel, room 302."



"I'll connect you with the nursing station."



"3-A Nursing Station. How can I help You?"



"I'd like to know the condition of Sarah Finkel in room 302."


"Are you a family member?"

"Yes, Yes I am.."





"Hold on.. let me look at her records... Mrs. Finkel is doing very well. In fact, she's had two full meals, her blood pressure is fine. She is to be taken off the heart monitor in a couple of hours and, if she continues this improvement, looks like Dr. Cohen is going to send her home very soon!"





The woman said, "What a relief! Oh, that's fantastic... that's wonderful news!"





The nurse said, "From your enthusiasm, I take it you are a sister or
perhaps an aunt..?"

"Neither! I'm Sarah Finkel in 302!.. and NOBODY here ever tells me ****!!"
 
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
That was hilarious Kilani!
So very true.. they never keep the patient informed in hospitals these days!
 
Ok guys.. this is for men only, I just got this from my wife.... ouch ! :eek:

Men are like... Laxatives... They irritate the **** out of you.

Men are like... Bananas... The older they get, the less firm they are. :laugh:

Men are like... Weather... nothing can be done to change them.

Men are like... Blenders... You need one, but you're not quite sure why. :idea:

Men are like... Chocolate Bars... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right to your hips.

Men are like... Commercials... You can't believe a word they say.

Men are like... Department stores... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.

Men are like... Government Bonds... They take sooooooo long to mature.

Men are like... Mascara... They usually run at the first sign of emotion. :scared:

Men are like... Popcorn... They satify you, but only for a little while.

Men are like... Snowstorms... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last. :p

Men are like... Lava Lamps... Fun to look at, but not very bright. :confused:

Men are like... Parking spots... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.
 
that was hilarious kilani... your wife is brilliant and knows men well! smart woman.. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

regards..
 
fido! said:
:laugh: good one,T! :thumbup:
Click to expand...
@Kilani cool!! :laugh:

@Fido how are you doing?Set for New york New york? :)
 
hey thanks doc...still existing!!!!lol! :laugh: ...thanks for asking...i need a vacation..before i start school...! :laugh: :smuggrin: how r u doing? ;)
D(M)ental said:
@Kilani cool!! :laugh:

@Fido how are you doing?Set for New york New york? :)
Click to expand...
 
_/* Our Friend was chatting with a female - Online chat. Background both are
s/w engineers by the way and both work for real big MNC's */

Hero: Hey...GM babe(Good Morning)... How's u doing today?

Female: VGM dude ...Day is going good and it got better having found u on chat

Hero: wow...am honoured dear, u know what, my day starts only when I find you on
Chat ... baby ...

Female: Yep...me too feel the same...Brb (be right back)'ll get some Coffee.

Hero: OK

_/* Hero waits impatiently. Meanwhile, his manager comes to his seat */

Manager: Hey, Can we talk?

Hero: _/*This guy always comes at wrong time*/ Yeah tell me

Manager: What happened to Keypad interface part of the project? U were supposed to deliver keypad interface circuit along with its code to client a couple of days back !!

Hero: I am working on that, but I think it's quite hard, is it ok, if I
deliver it by tomorrow evening.

Manager: Yeah, that would be fine. Thank you [Leaves the place]

_/*Our hero sighs and stares at his monitor waiting impatiently for Female to
Arrive. All of a sudden smiles on his face. Over to chat window...*/

Female: Hey, am back

Hero: cool, you know what my manager does, He's kinda..... keeps
asking stupid Things, tries to give me stupid work

Female: Yeah, it's the same everywhere. Real sick ppl these managers are!!

Hero: Yep, u rite!!

Female: Hey, hav u worked on TI controllers?

Hero: Yup ... am working on that.

Female: Hey, can u do me a favor

Hero: _/*smiles*/ sure, why not dear. Anything for u ...

Female: Dude, I want you to give me 24 key pad circuit along with its code. Would you give that to me by tomorrow evening? Plzzz. You know it's real Urgent for me to work

Hero: hey, that's a one-hour's work. Sure check Ur mail in an hour from
now. ok?

Female: THIS IS WHAT I ASKED U WHEN I CAME TO YOUR WORK PLACE. NOW YOU KNOW
WHO I AM!! AND ONE MORE POINT.... YOUR 1 HOUR TIME STARTS NOW!

:D
 
muscleman7911 said:
Good one sweet gal
Click to expand...
thank you muscleman,,,anyways what abt ur result,,dint u get the scores still???
 
WOMEN' S REVENGE
"Cash, cheque card or charge-card?" I asked, after folding up the items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "Do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the
most evil thing I could do to him legally."

WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
The wife said "See".

CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and beautiful all at the same time. The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." The wife replied, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee." Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me " The wife fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.......... "HEBREWS"

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN - (FROM A MAN 'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax pour it onto your thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.

THE SILENT TREATMENT
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up." Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.


God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece !!!!
 
sweetgal said:
WOMEN' S REVENGE
"Cash, cheque card or charge-card?" I asked, after folding up the items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "Do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the
most evil thing I could do to him legally."
Click to expand...

OUCH :( That's mean, it has to be illegal :wow:
 
all about women....

good one ,sweetgal ! :D :D
 
A married man and his secretary were having a torrid affair. One afternoon they couldn't contain their passion, so they rushed over to her place where they spent the afternoon making passionate love. When they were finished, they fell asleep, not waking until 8 o'clock that night.
They got dressed quickly. Then the man asked his secretary to take his shoes outside and rub them on the lawn. Bewildered, she did as he asked, thinking him pretty weird.
The man finally got home and his wife met him at the door. Upset, she asked where he'd been. The man replied, "I can not tell a lie. My secretary and I are having an affair. Today we left work early, went to her place, spent the afternoon making love, and then fell asleep. That's why I'm late."
The wife looked at him, took notice of his shoes, and yelled, "I can see those are grass stains on your shoes. YOU LIAR! You've been playing golf again, haven't you?" :D
 
WHY THE CALL CENTRE GUYS R PAID SO MUCH
PEOPLE WONDER WHY THE CALL CENTRE GUYS R PAID SO MUCH...... IT IS FOR ............

.....

.....

.....

.....

...... JUST BEING ON THE PHONE. TAKE A LOOK :

1). Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."

Customer "Ok."

Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No."

Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"

Customer "No."

Tech Support:: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"

Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."

--------------------------------------------------
2) Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."

Tech Support:: "Did you install the update?"

Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"

--------------------------------------------------

3).Customer:: "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."

Tech Support:: "Tell me what you've done."

Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'."

Tech Support:: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."

Customer:: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."

Tech Support:: "Insert the MS Word setup disk."

Customer:: "What?"

Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"

Customer: "No..."

--------------------------------------------------

4).Customer:: "Do I need a computer to use your software?"

Tech Support:: ?!%#$

--------------------------------------------------

5).Tech Support:: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, canyou see the 'OK' button displayed?"

Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"

--------------------------------------------------

6) Tech Support:: "What type of computer do you have?"

Customer:: "A white one."

--------------------------------------------------

7). Tech Support:: "Type 'A:' at the prompt."

Customer:: "How do you spell that?"

--------------------------------------------------

8). Tech Support: "What's on your screen right now?"

Customer: "A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery store."

--------------------------------------------------

9). Tech Support:: "What operating system are you running?"

Customer: "Pentium."

--------------------------------------------------

10). Customer: "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion."

--------------------------------------------------

11).Customer: "I have Microsoft Exploder."

--------------------------------------------------

12).Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?"

--------------------------------------------------

13). Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document, but the computer won't boot properly."

Tech Support: "What does it say?"

Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk."

Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"

Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."

--------------------------------------------------

14). Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours."

Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"

--------------------------------------------------

15). Tech Support:: "What does the screen say now?"

Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."

Tech Support:: "Well?"

Customer: "How do I know when it's ready?"

--------------------------------------------------


17) customer care officer:I need a product identification no: right now and may I help u in finding it out?
Cust: sure
CCO: could u left click on start and do u find 'My Computer'?
Cust: I did left click but how the hell do I find your computer? :eek:
 
Guys..... have you seen the new King Kong movie ?! :eek:

Check it out here

:smuggrin: :smuggrin: :smuggrin:
 
sweetgal said:
10). Customer: "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion."

--------------------------------------------------

11).Customer: "I have Microsoft Exploder."
Click to expand...

Hey Sweetgal! That was soooo funny! And these 2 are my faves! :laugh:
 
MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy


OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime


SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.


GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.


LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.


MEMORY
Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.


APPEARANCE
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night .


PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
 
sweetgal said:
WHY THE CALL CENTRE GUYS R PAID SO MUCH
PEOPLE WONDER WHY THE CALL CENTRE GUYS R PAID SO MUCH...... IT IS FOR ............

.....

.....

.....

.....

...... JUST BEING ON THE PHONE. TAKE A LOOK :

1). Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."

Customer "Ok."

Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No."

Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"

Customer "No."

Tech Support:: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"

Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."

--------------------------------------------------
2) Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."

Tech Support:: "Did you install the update?"

Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"

--------------------------------------------------

3).Customer:: "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."

Tech Support:: "Tell me what you've done."

Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'."

Tech Support:: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."

Customer:: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."

Tech Support:: "Insert the MS Word setup disk."

Customer:: "What?"

Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"

Customer: "No..."

--------------------------------------------------

4).Customer:: "Do I need a computer to use your software?"

Tech Support:: ?!%#$

--------------------------------------------------

5).Tech Support:: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, canyou see the 'OK' button displayed?"

Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"

--------------------------------------------------

6) Tech Support:: "What type of computer do you have?"

Customer:: "A white one."

--------------------------------------------------

7). Tech Support:: "Type 'A:' at the prompt."

Customer:: "How do you spell that?"

--------------------------------------------------

8). Tech Support: "What's on your screen right now?"

Customer: "A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery store."

--------------------------------------------------

9). Tech Support:: "What operating system are you running?"

Customer: "Pentium."

--------------------------------------------------

10). Customer: "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion."

--------------------------------------------------

11).Customer: "I have Microsoft Exploder."

--------------------------------------------------

12).Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?"

--------------------------------------------------

13). Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document, but the computer won't boot properly."

Tech Support: "What does it say?"

Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk."

Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"

Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."

--------------------------------------------------

14). Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours."

Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"

--------------------------------------------------

15). Tech Support:: "What does the screen say now?"

Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."

Tech Support:: "Well?"

Customer: "How do I know when it's ready?"

--------------------------------------------------


17) customer care officer:I need a product identification no: right now and may I help u in finding it out?
Cust: sure
CCO: could u left click on start and do u find 'My Computer'?
Cust: I did left click but how the hell do I find your computer? :eek:
Click to expand...

8 through 14 were just hilarious ! I was laughing out loud ! And why did you delete #16 ?
 
NileBDS said:
8 through 14 were just hilarious ! I was laughing out loud ! And why did you delete #16 ?
Click to expand...
thanks nile,,,good that u guys have liked it,,i will try to post some more stress relievers,,,
 
The Husband Store ...
>
>A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE !
>
>You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the
>Building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband . .
>
>On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
>
>Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.
>
>The second floor sign reads:
>
>Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.
>
>The third floor sign reads:
>
>Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.
>
>"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
>
>She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
>
>Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead good looking and help with the housework.
>
>"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
>Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
>
>Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.
>
>She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:
>
>Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
>
>Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!
>
>Please send this to all men for a good laugh and to all the women who can handle the truth!
 
lol! If I were her I would REALLY have stopped and "shopped" at the 5th floor.... coz there aren't any men like that in real life anymore..... sigh!
hahaha :smuggrin: :laugh:
 
If I were in that mall, you would have passed me while parking your car (in the garage) :D

On the other hand, if I were a female, I would have found out what a scam that store was after reading was on level 3.
Level 4 should have been called Santa Claus and 5 might as well been his raindeers !
 
Men:

1. All men are extremely busy.

2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women.

3. Although they have time for women, they don't really care for them.

4. Although they don't really care for them, they always have one around.

5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their luck with others.

6. Although they try their luck with others, they get really pissed off if the women leaves them.

7. Although the women leaves them they still don't learn from their mistakes and still try their luck with others.


Women:

1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security.

2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive clothes.

3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something to wear.

4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress beautifully.

5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just "an old rag".

6. Although their clothes are always "just an old rag", they still expect You to compliment them.

7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don't Believe you.
 
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