From Readers Digest
On a bumper sticker spotted in a Montreal suburb: "As long as there are tests, there will be prayers in school."
At the liquor store, I was examining two different-sized bottles of rum for my wife's Christmas fruit cakes. A cheerful young clerk approached me and asked if he could help. After I explained the purpose of my purchase, the fellow said: "May I suggest the larger size, sir. That way, you can have your cake and drink it, too."
I noticed an ad for stock pots in the local paper, and mentioned to my husband, Bob, that I was going to buy one. He looked at me oddly, then disappeared. A few minutes later Bob came back carrying a box. He'd hidden it away so carefully before Christmas, he'd forgotten to give it to me-a stock pot.
(hmmmmm men are so forgetful )
Because I was looking for a secondhand dresser for my children's bedroom, I was driving along hunting for garage sales. When I spied some furniture and other items on a front lawn and driveway, I stopped my car.
After going through the boxes, I spotted a matching dresser and bed set. Thinking that the gentleman watching me might want to sell the complete suite, I said, "Are you selling the bedroom furniture in separate pieces, or as a set?"
"Lady," he replied, "I'm just waiting for the movers."
My mother came by to show us her brand-new Grand Am. My eight-year-old daughter took one look at the car and indignantly proclaimed, "They spelled grandma wrong!"
The father of a friend of mine called a local store to ask if a certain item was in stock. The store was notorious for putting its customers on hold for long periods of time, sometimes never returning. This appeared to be the case with this call. Irate, my friend's dad went to his car, travelled 13 kilometres to the store, approached the counter and pointed to the blinking red light on the telephone on the counter. "Do you realize," he said, "that the person on the other end of that red light is me?"