Stupid/Silly things I read in residency applications

[gryffindor]

The other funny thing I read is how many people think that the one day volunteer of "National Give Kids a smile Day" is note worthy....With so many putting this on a CV you'd think every kid in the country should be smiling like crazy. I did this 5 times and realized it was just publicity...Every kid that came in could smile just fine. Most of them when they left weren't smiling at all...Hey, I actually did an entire day of volunteer work...I'm going to put this on my CV....cause I like to help people....

Ooooh, that's a good one. "National Give Kids a Smile Day" definitely went on resumes at my dental school which is sad b/c it was required of everyone to participate.

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[OMFSCardsFan]

HAHA! I am in the exact situation as you, cept I am in ms2 now, so I get more time to d!ck around. When the going get tough, the tough listens to some good ol' Jay-Z songs.....

"If you're havin' girl problems i feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one."

My thoughts exactly...

 

[OMFSCardsFan]

Ooooh, that's a good one. "National Give Kids a Smile Day" definitely went on resumes at my dental school which is sad b/c it was required of everyone to participate.

I did it five times, too. And wrote it down five times with the respective dates. I also taught kids how to brush three times, and taught inner city kids to wax teeth. I put all this on there--who could pass this up?!?!

 

[sara25]

I'm dating a girl that is a D3 at the school from where I graduated. She is not the greatest fan of the distance, or the hours, or the fact that when I get home after a 36-hour shift I'm not always a delight to talk to, or that I never get enough days off in a row to go visit her for a change. She's been taking it all very well, though--much better than I had given her credit for in the beginning. It's a lot easier for me. There isn't a whole lot of time during the 100-120 hours/week while I'm at the hospital to think about her, much less spend time missing her. I see her every four to six weeks, when she flies down to see me, and it always feels like she was just here. The time goes that quickly.

Dental school life: golf 2-3 times per week, lots of travel, going out, TV, sporting events, bar league sports...

Residency life: only fill my gas tank every 3-4 weeks since I live a mile from the hospital, rarely go out since I usually get only one weekend day off, haven't watched TV since I've been here (didn't even bother getting cable or an antenna), played golf once in four months, the only sport that I play is shooting teeth into the biohazard container, the only travel that I get to do is driving to the grocery store or Target occasionally

Life sucks in a residency, but it's only temporary. However, it's great to finally be doing what you like. Any time that I start hating life, I stop and think about my former classmates taking impressions, cutting Class II's, and adjusting partial dentures--cheers me right up. By suffering now by working a ton of hours and getting **** on, you set yourself up pretty darn well for the future. It can be miserable, but it's always tolerable. Gotta stay focused on the big picture...

I will definitely try and find out about how family friendly programs are. It's kind of tough to always get a feel of that without directly asking the questions...and sometimes that opportunity never comes up. But nevertheless thanks for the insight into your hectic life. Good luck with everything..and you are absolutely right...the big picture is what we're all striving for..and a little sacrifice is certainly worth it.

 

[DcS]

It doesn't matter what you have on your CV for OMFS. As long as you put your name, that you are narcissistic, that you can do no wrong, that women drop their pants when you stroll by, that you are the envy of your classmates, and that faculty wept the day you left...you're fine. That alone will get you the interview. Once they see in person at the interview that you indeed have the requisite elitist attitude and scorn for the other 99.9% of the population which is obviously there to serve you in your superiority, you're a shoe-in.

I can't wait for you to dazzle me with your literary brilliance in your next reply Just remember, no words more than 3 syllables for us ******s here.

 

[esclavo]

It doesn't matter what you have on your CV for OMFS. As long as you put your name, that you are narcissistic, that you can do no wrong, that women drop their pants when you stroll by, that you are the envy of your classmates, and that faculty wept the day you left...you're fine. That alone will get you the interview. Once they see in person at the interview that you indeed have the requisite elitist attitude and scorn for the other 99.9% of the population which is obviously there to serve you in your superiority, you're a shoe-in.

I can't wait for you to dazzle me with your literary brilliance in your next reply Just remember, no words more than 3 syllables for us ******s here.

Your right about all of that above. 100% I can't do any wrong (just ask my wife and my attendings), women do drop there pants when I enter the room (but they are all payed actors for the histroy/physical diagnosis class-nothing like 10 hemacult tests in a row), I am the envy of my classmates (doesn't everyone want to be a short fat mexican), the faculty did weep when I left dental school (just like concentration camp survivors wept when Germany lost the war).

Lastly, one thing you said is really offensive to me. I've worked with alot of "******s" mentally handicapped and you are really giving yourself too much credit by including yourself in that bunch.... I think you have a crying child waiting for you...big abscess from a pulpotomy I believe.... just send it right over.... I'll give the kid a smile today...

 

[drhobie7]

women drop their pants when you stroll by

This is my favorite perk.

 

[OMFSCardsFan]

It doesn't matter what you have on your CV for OMFS. As long as you put your name, that you are narcissistic, that you can do no wrong, that women drop their pants when you stroll by, that you are the envy of your classmates, and that faculty wept the day you left...you're fine. That alone will get you the interview. Once they see in person at the interview that you indeed have the requisite elitist attitude and scorn for the other 99.9% of the population which is obviously there to serve you in your superiority, you're a shoe-in.

I can't wait for you to dazzle me with your literary brilliance in your next reply Just remember, no words more than 3 syllables for us ******s here.

You crack me up, man. I think your sense of humor is a riot. Are you really applying to Pedo? I don't think I've ever talked to a Pedo person with your sarcastic tendencies...

If you change your mind about the Pedo thing, apply here next year. You've got my vote already.

 

[north2southOMFS]

I'm dating a girl that is a D3 at the school from where I graduated. She is not the greatest fan of the distance, or the hours, or the fact that when I get home after a 36-hour shift I'm not always a delight to talk to,............

Come on, we all know you just have a little ED problem after a 36 hour shift, that is what gets you all upset. Its ok, happens to the best of us, like esclavo and toofache and omsres and txoms.

...........There isn't a whole lot of time during the 100-120 hours/week while I'm at the hospital to think about her, much less spend time missing her....

Yah, right, we know you told us all that you've forgotten your girlfriend up north since becoming sweet on that lunch lady in the cafeteria. You know, the one with kankles who scoops the grits in the morning.

 

[north2southOMFS]

I did it five times, too. And wrote it down five times with the respective dates. I also taught kids........

Sex?

 

[OMFS2B]

You crack me up, man. I think your sense of humor is a riot. Are you really applying to Pedo? I don't think I've ever talked to a Pedo person with your sarcastic tendencies...

If you change your mind about the Pedo thing, apply here next year. You've got my vote already.

It's not a personal statement story but it did happen on the interview circuit last year.

One of the oral surgery attendings asked the applicant what is the difference between an oral surgeon and a periodontist? After much careful thought he responded "periodontists handle the soft tissue better than oral surgeons". For all of you overzealous applicants basing your entire application process on these threads, this was the wrong response!

 

[toofache32]

One of the oral surgery attendings asked the applicant what is the difference between an oral surgeon and a periodontist?

I would have said "opposable thumbs and the ability to walk upright."

 

[toofache32]

Come on, we all know you just have a little ED problem after a 36 hour shift, that is what gets you all upset. Its ok, happens to the best of us, like esclavo and toofache and omsres and txoms.

How did you know the soldier won't stand at attention!?

 

[OMFSCardsFan]

How did you know the soldier won't stand at attention!?

He was in the closet while you were with his wife...

 

[esclavo]

I would have said "opposable thumbs and the ability to walk upright."

Holy COW!!! I'm laughing so hard, my ventral hernia is showing! Goodness gracious...pass the tissues!!

 

[tx oms]

I read those personal statements like your 10th grade english teacher--complete with red pen. I have seen many typos and run-on sentences. If you're writing the most important letter of your life to date, don't you think you should take the time to freaking use your language correctly?

 

[Bifid Uvula]

It's not a personal statement story but it did happen on the interview circuit last year.

One of the oral surgery attendings asked the applicant what is the difference between an oral surgeon and a periodontist? After much careful thought he responded "periodontists handle the soft tissue better than oral surgeons". For all of you overzealous applicants basing your entire application process on these threads, this was the wrong response!

One knows where the operating room is... the other just thinks he/she is a surgeon.

 

[mike3kgt]

I would have said "opposable thumbs and the ability to walk upright."

Man oh man, I'll remember this one. Did you get this one from meet the parents?

-Mike

 

[esclavo]

I read those personal statements like your 10th grade english teacher--complete with red pen. I have seen many typos and run-on sentences. If you're writing the most important letter of your life to date, don't you think you should take the time to freaking use your language correctly?

Though this isn't my strong point, I have an attending who is wicked when it comes to spelling. He would just as soon give you a bazooka OG tube and pull the trigger as read a single misspelled word. I've never had anyone use the F___ word more times at me in my life as this guy when I misspell. He told me to buy myself a pocket dictionary and carry it around and use it or he'd kick me out of the program! All within my first two months here.... good advice. There are alot of anal-retentive people in OMFS and tx OMFS sounds like he is heading down the path.... might end up with a colectomy before he's 50.... I guess we all have our tendancies... you've all read some of mine on this thread. I've got to go to the bathroom.... and empty my colostomy bag.....mexican food again last night....

 

[omfs44]

I've got to go to the bathroom.... and empty my colectomy bag.....mexican food again last night....[/QUOTE]

Not to be anal or anything, I think you mean a colostomy bag.

 

[aphistis]

One of the oral surgery attendings asked the applicant what is the difference between an oral surgeon and a periodontist?

A couple hours per extraction, in my limited experience.

 

[esclavo]

I've got to go to the bathroom.... and empty my colectomy bag.....mexican food again last night....

Not to be anal or anything, I think you mean a colostomy bag. [/QUOTE]

Gracias... error noted...

 

[omfsres]

I have a colostomy bag. It gets me chicks.

 

[omfsres]

I have a colostomy bag. It gets me chicks.

Speaking of colostomies. There is a legendary patient that comes to this hospital ER frequently for herpes and gonorrhea...

... of her colostomy. Apparantly she ****** out the stoma for guys to bang. Talk about gettin' a little on the side.

 

[OMFSCardsFan]

I have a colostomy bag. It gets me chicks.

From what I hear, he makes twice the income of other male prostitutes...and you thought DP was only for chicks...

 

[toofache32]

I have a colostomy bag. It gets me chicks.

You toss salad with that thing?

 

[Jediwendell]

You toss salad with that thing?

Nothing worse than pulling up page five of a thread and this is all you see.

 

[toofache32]

Nothing worse than pulling up page five of a thread and this is all you see.

 

[esclavo]

Just when I thought I was done, 14 more applications. Talk about squeeking in. I've noticed that the later applicants are less qualified, less mentored. I don't know if anyone in the last 14 has the qualifications similar to those invited to interview already...

Has anyone noticed some funny pictures? I saw one today that just killed me. You'd think he was applying for an Ambercrombie and Fitch modeling job doing underwear. Here is a hint... most OMFS are conservative, heterosexual (some are asexual-by sheer work load), and old fashioned. I wonder if some of these guys would show up to the interview wearing flip/flops....

 

[toofache32]

Has anyone noticed some funny pictures? I saw one today that just killed me. You'd think he was applying for an Ambercrombie and Fitch modeling job doing underwear. Here is a hint... most OMFS are conservative, heterosexual (some are asexual-by sheer work load), and old fashioned. I wonder if some of these guys would show up to the interview wearing flip/flops....

Before you make fun of everyone, I happen to have some pictures of prior applicants you guys might know:

 

[esclavo]

Holy COW!!! I'm going to have some costochondritis if I look at those pictures any more. I just fell out of my chair. The nurse is looking across the room at me like I'm on drugs. I can't believe how close you have pegged Uvula! The only reason I am suspicious that it is an imposter of Bifid is that that kid knows how to button a shirt. As for me, I only wish I was still as good looking as that picture, which reveals my once native good looks. I can't let my wife see that picture. She'll realize how far I've gone down hill in the last couple of years... Ahhhh sweet reminiscing at what once was....

 

[omfs44]

dude, my hair has grown like 5 inches since then. get it right...im so offended! in case you forget to post a picture of yourself, i got this one from B.O.

 

[tx oms]

Hey Cards Fan,
Maybe if you stopped posting on this site so much you could get up in time for rounds and read a book on how to twist wire. Just a thought. Now, go ahead and give me some of your famous diarrhea of the mouth.

 

[Bifid Uvula]

This just goes to prove my theory all along... that I am certainly the best looking guy in the group

U know, i bet you we could make one of those calendar thingies and the nurses would just go nuts over us.... hmmmm another money making idea in the works....

 

[Bifid Uvula]

By the way tooof.... I miss the purple hippo avatar... Bring it back to life. I always got a kick out of it. Tx, urs still cracks me up every time i see it. It totally sums up my feelings about periodontists

 

[tx oms]

Here's a pic of OMFSCardsFan as a child. You'll have to click it.

Bifid, Stewie is great. Have you bought the new DVD yet?

 

[DcS]

OMFScardsfan is Mark McGwire? Sweet.

 

[north2southOMFS]

This just goes to prove my theory all along... that I am certainly the best looking guy in the group

U

No kidding! I'm a damn fish!

 

[omfsres]

No kidding! I'm a damn fish!

All that estrogen therapy has really softened up my features.

 

[Bifid Uvula]

Here's a pic of OMFSCardsFan as a child. You'll have to click it.

Bifid, Stewie is great. Have you bought the new DVD yet?

stewie is da bomb.... he's the cartoon version of a very famous OMFS attending in this country. He's quite evil and viscious, but brilliant... The similarities are unrefutable. I kinda imagine this is what he was like as a baby.

the DVD is on my christmas wish-list....

 

[OMFSCardsFan]

Hey Cards Fan,
Maybe if you stopped posting on this site so much you could get up in time for rounds and read a book on how to twist wire. Just a thought. Now, go ahead and give me some of your famous diarrhea of the mouth.

Is this when I should get upset and say that I'm quitting, or are you the only one that gets to use that line?

 

[esclavo]

Before you make fun of everyone, I happen to have some pictures of prior applicants you guys might know:

Ahhhhh yes, the dream team. Heartbreak and tooth shuck central. Now all the rest of you know why we are so darn egotistical. Eat it up.....

 

[jk5177]

Life sucks in a residency, but it's only temporary. However, it's great to finally be doing what you like. Any time that I start hating life, I stop and think about my former classmates taking impressions, cutting Class II's, and adjusting partial dentures--cheers me right up. By suffering now by working a ton of hours and getting **** on, you set yourself up pretty darn well for the future. It can be miserable, but it's always tolerable. Gotta stay focused on the big picture...

Profoundly said.

 

[jk5177]

It is not easy on the significant other. It's good if your spouse has a tough job and they work a lot of hours too, they miss you less and are tired too.

LOL.

 

[north2southOMFS]

YOU GUYS FORGOT ABOUT JEDIWENDELL.

I had heard he got a new car. Pretty bitchin man.

 

[Pelotari]

Money......cooter.....early retirement.....

This is great.

 

[Jediwendell]

Word.

The doors are bondo.

Maybe if you look really hard you can see your mom in the backseat.

YOU GUYS FORGOT ABOUT JEDIWENDELL.

I had heard he got a new car. Pretty bitchin man.

 

[toofache32]

....Maybe if you look really hard you can see your mom in the backseat.

Ha! That's the funniest thing I've heard in a while!

 

[esclavo]

I have to write this becaue I have read for the umpteenth time what happens on an OMFS externship. On the CV just list the externship place and the director of the externship and the date. "we wired jaws, and trached 4 patients, and rounded in the morning and rounded in the night and sewed lacerations, and raised flaps to pull out teeth, and we smelled beer on patients breath, and we sewed up those flaps with real stitches, and I sucked pus..." It is like a play by play of the entire experience. I'm like, gee thanks, otherwise I wouldn't have known what happens on those mysterious externships.

Personally, I'd just like a letter of recommendation from the director of that externship that says. "This guy busted his butt, took as much call as possible, listened, learned, and has potential as a future resident". Run with me for 48 hours and I (and anyone else on these externships) can get a glimpse at what your 95 boards score can't say.

 

[jpollei]

Though this was in a DDS app not a residency app, I think it' fits. A general dentist wrote a letter of rec...which I found out later was for his nephew...and talked about how much the kid loved going to family reunions, how he won the Pinewood Derby (maybe trying to bring out hand skills???), etc, etc.

Man that would've been a whole lot easier than hounding the dept. chair.

And I've lost any gusto statements that start out: "When I first saw (insert name here) while I was in the small, rural town of (insert town and third-world country here), I (insert action here)..."