desi jokes.............

[parasiteatwork]

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[1hotaartichoke]

what do you call a sardar at a club?


Dan Singh

 

[Dr.BilkulPagal]

One day a fobby indian man saw a sardarji on the beach. He thought it was the great Indian Olympic athlete...Milkah Singh, so the fobby indian ran up to him saying, "sir, sir, are you Milkah Singh?! Ayo Deva!" and the sardar replied, "No, I'm Relax Singh"

Okay okay, I won't quit my day job.
Pagal

 

[CaptainJack02]

what do you call a sardar at a club?


Dan Singh

replacing sardar with desi, in my head, this joke's funny

what's a sardar though? guess i need a refill.. sigh

 

[parasiteatwork]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is is a letter from a sardarji mother to her
son at school ...

Pyaarey Puttar,


Vahe Guru. I am writing this letter slow because I
know you can't read fast. We don't live where we
did when you left home. Your dad read in the
newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles
from your home, so we moved! I won't be able to
give you the address as the last sardar who stayed
in this house took the numbers with them for their
next house, so they wouldnt have to change their
address.


This place is really nice. It even has a washing
machine. I'm not sure it works too well, last week
I put in three shirts and pulled the chain and I
HAVE NOT SEEN THEM SINCE.


THE weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice
last week. The first it rained for three days and the
second time for four days. The coat you wanted me
to send you, your aunt said it would be a little too
heavy to send in the mail with all the buttons, so we
cut them off and put them in the pocket.


We got another bill from the funeral home. It said
that if we don't make the last payment on
GRANDMA'S FUNERAL, she will come up again.
Your father has another job. He has 500 men under
him. He is cutting the grass in the cemetery. Your
sister had a baby this morning, I havent found out
whether it is a boy or girl, so I don't know whether
you are an aunt or uncle!


Your uncle jatindar fell into a whiskey vat. Some
men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off
and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for
3 days.


Three of your friends went off the bridge in a
pick-up truck. One was driving and the other two
were in the back. the driver got out, he rolled down
the window and swam to safety. the other 2 friends
drowned because they couldn't get the gate down.

there isn't much more news at this time. nothing much has happened.

love, mom


p.s. i was going to send you some money, but the
envelope was already sealed.

 

[nimeshshingala]

first of all
to all the sardarjis , please no offence, you all are wonderful people
these are just jokes , I am sure you will take them in a good spirit

Sardar proposed a Girl......Girl said 'I'm 1yr
elder to you'
Sardar said 'Oye No Problem Soniye, I'll marry
you NEXT YEAR.


Sardar & his wife buy coffee in a shop.
Sardar says... Drink quickly......
Wife asks why...
sardar says coffee Rs5 and cold coffee Rs10


A Sardar & his wife filed an application 4 Divorce.

Judge asked: How'll U divide, U"VE 3 children?
Sardar replied: Ok! We"ll apply NEXT YEAR

Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
Sardar: "I'm writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he can't
read very fast.

A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at
evening not in the morning.
Sardarji replied ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not
AM''.

 

[sinfin]

OK, this is not a desi joke.....but I find it funny.


What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe?


Roberto





What do you call a punjabi at a dance club?

Dan Singh

 

[nimeshshingala]

OK, this is not a desi joke.....but I find it funny.


What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe?


Roberto





What do you call a punjabi at a dance club?

Dan Singh

 

[sinfin]

What do you call a punjabi going bald?


Iqbal Singh

 

[sinfin]

Not many Gujarati jokes out there, not that I know of at least......but , here is one...


What gifts do Gujaratis give each other?


Coupon books

 

[parasiteatwork]

A few more of gujju jokes......

Why did the Gujjus think the man who acted as Gandhi in the film
was a woman? Because his name was 'Bhen'Kingsley.

Why does the Gujju go to London? To see his Big Ben.

Why did the Gujju wear a Tuxedo to his vasectomy?
If he was going to be impotent, he wanted to look impotent (important).

Why did the American get scared of the Gujju?
Because he said 'Sue karoo chhe.'

 

[nimeshshingala]

Not many Gujarati jokes out there, not that I know of at least......but , here is one...


What gifts do Gujaratis give each other?


Coupon books

 

[parasiteatwork]

and a few tamil jokes.......
What do you call a really colourful Tamilian?
Rangamannar Rangarajan

Whats the opposite of Gopalakrishnan?
Comepalakrishnan.

What is the opposite of Subramnium Swamy?
Subramanium Didn't See Me

 

[parasiteatwork]

and a few sindhi jokes too
What do you call:

A god fearing Sindhi? Bhagwandas Godhwani

A Sindhi painter? Sadarangani

A Sindhi chef? Papadmall Kukreja

A Sindhi electrician? Voltram Bijlani

A Sindhi milkman? Gopal Dudeja

 

[parasiteatwork]

What did Bruce Lee say to the Maharashtrian?
Tumhi Marathe, Aamhi Karate.

 

[1hotaartichoke]

Not many Gujarati jokes out there, not that I know of at least......but , here is one...


What gifts do Gujaratis give each other?


Coupon books

 

[parasiteatwork]

A Bihari after coming back from a three hour long class says:
Saala pura body headache maar raha hai

 

[nimeshshingala]

A Bihari after coming back from a three hour long class says:
Saala pura body headache maar raha hai

 

[nimeshshingala]

A few more of gujju jokes......

Why did the Gujjus think the man who acted as Gandhi in the film
was a woman? Because his name was 'Bhen'Kingsley.

Why does the Gujju go to London? To see his Big Ben.

Why did the Gujju wear a Tuxedo to his vasectomy?
If he was going to be impotent, he wanted to look impotent (important).

Why did the American get scared of the Gujju?
Because he said 'Sue karoo chhe.'

 

[lata]

love these jokes.... good ones...
-----------------------------
Desi English

I talk, he talk; Why do you beech beech talk?
Open the windows and let the atmosphere come in'!
'Why are you naat filupping the blanks ?'
Maro saale ko:: Hit the brother in law
'Hey, u guys, please keep quiet. The president is rotating outside'
Prof to students hanging around the corridors during exams:
' Do not revolve in the corridors in front of the examinations '
' Don't talk like that in front of my back '
' Don't stand in front of my back'
'Repeat again please!'
'Mistake became wrong!'



and this one make me laugh so hard... i started to cry...

What do you call a Desi gathering ?
Technical Conference

 

[parasiteatwork]

Bunta Singh comes up to the Pakistan border on his bike. He's got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard Iqbal stops him and says, "What's in the bags?"

"Sand," answered Bunta.

Iqbal says, "We'll just see about that. Get off the bike." Iqbal guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand.

He detains Bunta overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. Iqbal releases Bunta, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the Bunta's shoulders, and lets him cross the border.

A week later, the same thing happens. The Iqbal asks, "What have you got?"



"Sand," says Bunta. Iqbal does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand.

He gives the sand back to Bunta, and Bunta crosses the border on his bike.



This sequence of events if repeated every day for three years. Finally, Bunta doesn't show up one day and the guard meets him in a 'dhaba' in Islamabad.

"Hey, Buddy," says Iqbal, "I know you are smuggling something. It's driving me crazy. It's all I think about... I can't sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?"

Bunta sips his beer and says, "Bikes."

 

[parasiteatwork]

here is another one.....
AAJ KE CONFUSED HINDUSTANI KI KAHANI



01. Coke peete, Pepsi peete, bhool gaye nimbu paani
....Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani



02. MTV, Channel V cool hain bhool gaye Akashwani
....Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani



03. Reserve Bank hain Khali Khali Swiss Bank mein maal paani
....Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani



04. Ideas hain naye naye Problem whoi purani
....Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani



05. Hong Kong main honeymoon, New york main meri naani
...Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani



06. Kapde hain Amreeki Gaadiyan hain Japani
....Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani



07. Paanch saal mein chaar government suni na jaani
....Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani
....Phir Bhi Dil Hai HIndustani
....Phir Bhi Dil Hai HIndustani

 

[nimeshshingala]

Subject: Fw: Fabulous Answers
> > >
> > > Take a look at this marvellous answer:
> > >
> > > A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car
> > > when he spotted the famous heart surgeon in his shop, who was standing
> off
> > > to the side, waiting for the service manager to come to take a look at
> his
> > > car. The mechanic shouted across the garage,"Hello Doctor! Please come
> > > over here for a minute." The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked
> over
> > > to the
> > > mechanic. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and
> asked
> > > argumentatively, "So doctor, look at this. I also open hearts, take
> valves
> > > out, grind 'em, put in new parts, and when I finish this will work as
a
> > new
> > > one. So how come you get the big money, when you and me is doing
> basically
> > > the same work? " The doctor leaned over and whispered to the mechanic
> > .....
> > >
> > > What did he say ???
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Guess ......
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Scroll....Down
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Scroll....Down
> >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > He said : "Try to do it when the engine is running".

 

[parasiteatwork]

Banta sets up Santa to go on a blind date with a friend of his. But Santa is a little worried about going out with someone he's never seen before.

"What do I do if she's ugly?" says Santa, "I'll be stuck with her all night.

"Don't worry," Banta says, "just go up to her door and meet her first. If you like what you see, then everything goes as planned. If you don't just shout 'Aaaaaaaaauuuuuuuggghhh!' and fake an asthma attack.

"So that night, Santa knocks at the girl's door and when she comes out he is awe-struck at how beautiful and sexy she is. He's about to speak when the girl suddenly shouts: ..."Aaaaaaaaaaauuugguuughhh!"

 

[MINDOFMYOWN]

Why do Gujjus make love on alternate nights??
Becoz it takes one day to clean, wash and dry a condom..

 

[parasiteatwork]

What do you call a sardar who drinks only beer ?
Just-beer Singh.

 

[parasiteatwork]

What do you call a sikh female's boyfriend?
Her Pal Singh


Q) Why did George Bush had the gujju beaten?
A) The gujju told George Bush "You are an IMPOTENT man"


Q) What will a Gujju tell a tomato, coming last in a tomato race?
(in case of one)
A) Tomato KETCHUP.

 

[sunny123]

What do you call a sardar who drinks only beer ?
Just-beer Singh.

That is hee-lari-oose !!!

 

[parasiteatwork]

You are an Indian, Pakistani, or Bangladeshi if:

1) When there is a sale on toilet papers, you buy 100 rolls.
2) You use dishwasher as a dish rack.
3) You save grocery bags, mostly to hold garbage.
4) You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
5) You majored in Engineering, Computer Science, or Medicine.
6) No one you're related to is a music major.
7) When you go to a dance party, you stand close to the wall
surrounding the dance floor trying to look cool.
8) You feel like you got a good deal if you didn't pay tax.
9) You always look phone numbers up the Yellow/White page rather than
making a 411 call.
10) You only make long distance calls after 11 pm.
11) You like the meat well done.
12) You've joined a CD club at least once.
13) You avoid motels especially if there is an acquaintance within
250-mile radius of your destination.
14) You have a box of tissue or a towel in your car.
15) The car you own is most likely a Camry or Accord.
16) When you dine out (very rarely) you think that $1 is a good tip.
17) You head towards the clearance section as soon as you walk into a
store.
18) Your favorite brandname is "IRREGULAR".
19) A pungent odor of spices hits as soon as someone enters your home.
20) You call fluoroscent lights "tube lights" and a flashlight a
"torch".
21) When you travel to your country you tie up your luggage with a rope
to keep it from opening apart.
22) You get very upset when the airline agent refuse to accept ur
luggage which is just 60 pounds overweight.
23) You ask your dad a simple question and he tells you a story of how
he had to walk two miles barefoot just to get to school.
24) You call an older person you never met before "uncle".
25) When your parents meet a stranger and talk for a few minutes, you
discover he is your distant cousin.

 

[ktat72]

originally posted by parasiteatwork:

You are an Indian, Pakistani, or Bangladeshi if:

1) When there is a sale on toilet papers, you buy 100 rolls.
2) You use dishwasher as a dish rack.
3) You save grocery bags, mostly to hold garbage.
4) You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
5) You majored in Engineering, Computer Science, or Medicine.
6) No one you're related to is a music major.
7) When you go to a dance party, you stand close to the wall
surrounding the dance floor trying to look cool.
8) You feel like you got a good deal if you didn't pay tax.
9) You always look phone numbers up the Yellow/White page rather than
making a 411 call.
10) You only make long distance calls after 11 pm.
11) You like the meat well done.
12) You've joined a CD club at least once.
13) You avoid motels especially if there is an acquaintance within
250-mile radius of your destination.
14) You have a box of tissue or a towel in your car.
15) The car you own is most likely a Camry or Accord.
16) When you dine out (very rarely) you think that $1 is a good tip.
17) You head towards the clearance section as soon as you walk into a
store.
18) Your favorite brandname is "IRREGULAR".
19) A pungent odor of spices hits as soon as someone enters your home.
20) You call fluoroscent lights "tube lights" and a flashlight a
"torch".
21) When you travel to your country you tie up your luggage with a rope
to keep it from opening apart.
22) You get very upset when the airline agent refuse to accept ur
luggage which is just 60 pounds overweight.
23) You ask your dad a simple question and he tells you a story of how
he had to walk two miles barefoot just to get to school.
24) You call an older person you never met before "uncle".
25) When your parents meet a stranger and talk for a few minutes, you
discover he is your distant cousin.

10/25 on this list

 

[sunny123]

13/25 for me

 

[parasiteatwork]

13/25 for me

which ones???

 

[sunny123]

You are an Indian, Pakistani, or Bangladeshi if:

1) When there is a sale on toilet papers, you buy 100 rolls.
2) You use dishwasher as a dish rack.
3) You save grocery bags, mostly to hold garbage.
4) You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
5) You majored in Engineering, Computer Science, or Medicine.
6) No one you're related to is a music major.
7) When you go to a dance party, you stand close to the wall
surrounding the dance floor trying to look cool.
8) You feel like you got a good deal if you didn't pay tax.
14) You have a box of tissue or a towel in your car.
15) The car you own is most likely a Camry or Accord (we owned a Toyota and a Honda, so this applies).
20) You call fluoroscent lights "tube lights" and a flashlight a
"torch".
24) You call an older person you never met before "uncle".

Here ya go

 

[parasiteatwork]

Here ya go

 

[parasiteatwork]

Mallu Interview
A "Mallu" female (from the heart of Kerala) went for a job interview for the post of a SECRETARY. When the manager saw the Mallu's colorful attire and gold and well oiled uncombed jet black hair, his mind was screaming "Not This Woman." Nevertheless, he still had to entertain the Mallu.
So he told her, "If You could form a sentence using the words that I give you, then may be I will give you a chance! The words are GREEN, PINK, YELLOW, BLUE, WHITE, PURPLE and BLACK."
The enthusiastic Mallu lady thought for a while and said:
"I hear the phone GREEN GREEN GREEN, then I go and PINK up the phone,I say YELLOW..... BLUE's that? WHITE did you say? Aiye, Wrong number.. ... Don't PURPLELY disturb people and don't call BLACK, yokeeyy? Thank you."
The Manager fainted.....

 

[parasiteatwork]

Here's distinguishing India's different cultures by the numbers.
MALAYALEES
One Malayalee is a narial-pani shop.
Two Malayalees is a boat race.
Three Malayalees is a Gulf job racket.
Four Malayalees is an oil slick.

TAMILIANS
One Tamilian is a fugitive sandalwood smuggler.
Two Tamilians is a suicide-bomb squad.
Three Tamilians is a classical music school.
Four Tamilians is a Jayalalitha fan club.

ANDHRAITES
One Andhraite is a cycle-rickshaw driver.
Two Andhraites is a spice shop.
Three Andhraites is a Naxalite outfit.
Four Andhraites is the Telugu film industry.

BENGALIS
One Bengali is a sweet shop.
Two Bengalis is a black-and-white movie.
Three Bengalis is a Mohun Bagan support group.
Four Bengalis is a Marxist movement.

RAJASTHANIS
One Rajasthani is a cattle-seller.
Two Rajasthanis is a mason.
Three Rajasthanis is a puppetry outfit.
Four Rajasthanis is a dance-drama.

GOANS
One Goan is Remo Fernandes.
Two Goans is a Feni distillery.
Three Goans is a football club.
Four Goans is an all-night-long party.

MANGALOREANS
One Mangalorean is a betel-nut seller.
Two Mangaloreans can't stand one another.
Three Mangalorean is a Udupi restaurant.
Four Mangaloreans is a fanatical Konkani Sabha.

BOMBAYITES
One Bombayite is a hawker.
Two Bombayites is a film industry.
Three Bombayites is a bustling slum.
Four Bombayites is the rush-hour train crowd.

MAHARASHTRIANS
One Maharashtrian is a bus conductor.
Two Maharashtrians is a kabaddi player.
Three Maharashtrians is a pickle factory.
Four Maharashtrians is a Cricket Team.

GUJARATIS
One Gujarati is a share broker in a Mumbai train.
Two Gujaratis is the total chatter in a Mumbai
rain.
Three Gujaratis is a Co. in itself
Four Gujaratis are crying on Share Scam


SARDARJIS
One Sardarji is a truck-driver.
Two Sardarjis is a roadside dhaba.
Three Sardarjis is a terrorist outfit.
Four Sardarjis are always found in jokes.

SINDHIS
One Sindhi is a currency racket.
Two Sindhis is a papad factory
Three Sindhis is a duplicate goods shop.
Four Sindhis is a lot of gas around (yeech!).

BIHARIS
One Bihari is Laloo Prasad Yadav.
Two Biharis is a booth-capturing squad.
Three Biharis is a caste killing.
Four Biharis is the total literacy rate in the state.

BHAIYYAS
One Bhaiyya is a milkman.
Two Bhaiyyas is a chanawala (or panipuri wala).
Three Bhaiyyas is a temple-destruction squad.
Four Bhaiyyas is a halwai shop.

(And 12 Bhaiyyas is one SMALL, happy family).

KASHMIRIS
One Kashmiri is a boatman.
Two Kashmiris is a carpet factory.
Three Kashmiris is a tourist agency.
Four Kashmiris is a terrorist outfit.

KANNADIGAS
One Kannadiga is a coffee estate.
Two Kannadiga is a Udupi restaurant.
Three Kannadiga is a pepper powder factor.
Four Kannadiga is an anti-Cauvery squad.

 

[parasiteatwork]

The Cows!!

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one,
and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike
because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign
them so they are one tenth the size of an ordinary cow
and produce 20 times the milk.

A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer
them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month and
milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but you don't
know where they are.You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them
and learn you have five cows. You count them again and
learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn
you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open
another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5,000 cows, none of which
belongs to you. You charge others for storing them.

A BRITISH COW: You have Two Cows. One is is Cloned and
the other has Mad Cow Disease.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.

 

[parasiteatwork]

Marwari
A moment or two after a highway accident, an old Marwadi man came up to a woman lying by the roadside.
"Have the Police come yet?" the man asked.
"No," the woman moaned.
"Has the Ambulance been here yet?"
"No," the injured woman repeated.
"How about the Insurance company?"
"No."
"Listen," the Marwadi said, bending down. "Do you mind if I lay down next to you?"



Name..
Once it so happened in a flight that, James bond was sitting besides a Telugu guy..
Both were traveling to US.
Telugu Guy : "Hello, May I know ur name please?"
James Bond : "I am Bond.. James Bond."
James Bond: "and you?"
Telugu Guy : "I am Sai... Venkata Sai... Siva Venkata Sai...Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai.... Srinivasula Laxminarayana
Siva Venkata Sai...Rajasekhara Srinivasula Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai...Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Srinivasula Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai ...Bommiraju Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Srinivasula Laxminarayana Siva Venkata Sai.."

James Bond FAINTS.

 

[parasiteatwork]

Banta Singh and Santa Singh
Banta Singh was travelling in a crowded bus. He was carrying the passport size photograph of his son (for college admission).
Accidently,the photograph fell down from his pocket. He started searching for it frantically & found it on the floor, below the ends of a woman's saree.
He asked her "Can you lift that saree? I wanna take a photograph."
The rest is history. He was beaten so badly that he had to be admitted to hospital.

He was surprised to see Santa Singh on the bed next to him,in a worse condition. Banta explained what happened to him.
He had gone to a remote village to work. He finished late and missed the last bus. He couldn't find any hotel.
So he approached a nearby house and asked the Owner whether he can stay there for the night.
The Owner replied "I have 2 grown up daughters. Sorry,I can't allow you to stay."
He approached the next house and asked whether he can stay there for the night.
The Owner replied,"I have 3 grown up daughters.Sorry,I can't allow you to stay."
He went to the next house and asked:" Do you have "grown up" Daughters?".
The Owner asked,"WHY?????????"
Santa replied,"I wanted to stay here for a night....." The rest is history

 

[parasiteatwork]

Jugnu Singh
Q: Why did the Jugnu Singh take a pair binoculars with him to a funeral?
A: It was a distant relative's funeral



Jugnu Singh
Jugnu Singh got up in the middle of the night to answer the telephone.
"Is this one one one one?", says the voice.
"No, this is eleven eleven."
"Are you sure it isn't one one one one?"
"No, this is eleven eleven."
"Well, wrong number. I am Harpal calling, sorry to have woken you up on the middle of the night."
"That's all right, mister. I had to get up to answer the telephone anyway."



Jugnu Singh
Jugnu Singh with two red ears went to his doctor.
The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered,
"I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief.
"But...what happened to your other ear?"
"The scoundrel called back."



Banta Singh rushed back angrily to the grocery shop from where he had purchased a packet of butter few minutes ago.
"Where is my free gift?" he shouted at the shop keeper.
"But Sir, there is no free gift on the purchase of butter." Shopkeeper answered politely.
"Dont fool me," replied Banta, "it is clearly written on the packet of the butter 'cholesterol free'."


COUNT THE CHICKEN
Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh walked toward each other on a country road. Hari Singh carried a burlap bag over his shoulder.
"Hey Bhai," Gani Singh drawled, "what's in the bag?"
"Chickens," was the reply.
"If I guess how many, can I have one?"
"You can have both of them."
"OK, Five?!"

 

[parasiteatwork]

Appontment Letter from Amrika
Santa Singh sent his bio data to America to apply for a post in Microsoft.
A few days later he got this reply:-
"Dear Mr. Singh,
You do not meet our requirements. Please do not send any further correspondence.
No phone call shall be entertained.
Thanks"
Santa Singh jumped with joy on receiving this reply.

He arranged a party and when all the guests had come,
he said "Bhaiyon aur Behno, aap ko jaan kar Khushi hogee ki mujhay Amrika mein Naukri Mil Gayee hai."
Everyone was delighted. Santa Singh continued, "Ab main aap sab ko apnaa Appointment Letter padkar sunaongaa, par letter English main hai Isliyen saath-saath Hindi main Translate bhee kartaa jaongaa."
" Dear Mr. Singh ----- pyare singh sahab
You do not meet ---- aap to miltay hee naheen ho
our requirement ---- humko to zaroorat hai
Please do not send any furthur correspondence ---- ab letter vetter bhejnay kee zaroorat nahee hai.
No phone call ---- phone vone kee bhee zaroorat nahee hai
shall be entertained ---- bahut khaatir kee jayegi.
Thanks ---- aapkaa bahut bahut shukriya"

 

[parasiteatwork]

Surd's Short Story
A Sardarji happened to participate in a competition, which was about writing the shortest story. The organizers had put a condition that a story must have four ingredients viz. religion, sex, suspense and mystery.

Sardarji's turn came after many attempts by others. Sardarji gave a story, which was just one sentence and read : "Oh God, my wife is going to deliver a child".

Ostensibly amused, the organizers asked the sardarji whether it contained all the four ingredients !!
Sardarji replied affirmatively and gave his explanation as below:
Oh God : religion
my wife: sex
going to deliver a child : suspense (whether a girl or a boy)

"Okay.... but where is the mystery ?" asked one of the organizers.

The sardar replied : who is the father ??
Sardarji was declared the winner for writing the shortest story !


Simple Surd Questions & Answers!
Q: Why do Sardars always smile during lightning storms?
A: They think their picture is being taken.

Q: Why do sardars have "TGIF" written on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First.

Q: How can you tell when a sardar sends you a fax?
A: It has a stamp on it.

Q: Why can't sardars dial 911?
A: They can not find the eleven on the phone.

Q: How do you get a sardar on the roof?
A: Tell him the drinks are on the house.

Q: What do smart sardars and UFOs have in common?
A: You always hear about them but you never see them.

Q: Why does it take longer to build a sardar snowman as opposed to a regular one?
A: You have to hollow out the head.

Q: How do you measure a surd's intelligence?
A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear!

Q: How do you keep a Surd busy all day?
A: Put him in a round room and tell him to sit in the corner.

Q: A surd going to London on a plane, how can you steal his window seat?
A: Tell him the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.

 

[parasiteatwork]

30 years of Work Experience
While taking the interview...
The Employer: 'How long did you work during your last job.'
Sardarji: '30 years.'
The Employer: 'What's your age?
Sardarji: '20 Years.'
The Employer(with surprise): How it is possible that you are 20 and have a experience of 30 years.
Sardarji: 'Overtime.'



Cricketers!
Two fast friends, Santa Singh and Banta Singh, were great cricket fanatics. They decided that whoever dies first will try to come back in the dreams of the other, and tell the other about the Cricket life in heaven.
Santa Singh dies first. One day as Banta was fast sleep, he heard Santa calling him.
He was very happy and was eager to know about cricket there.
"So, Santa! How is cricket in heaven?"
Santa replied, "Hey Banta, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that tomorrow we are going to have a day & night match here in heaven."
"And the bad news is that you are the opening bowler for tomorrow's match!"

 

[parasiteatwork]

Vajpayee and Bush!
Vajpayee and Bush are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman,"Isn't that Bush and Vajpayee?"
The barman says "Yep, thats them.
So the guy walks over and says,"Hello, what are u guys doing?"
Bush says, "We're planning World War3"
Guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"
Vajpayee says, "Well, we're going to kill 14 million Pakistanis and one bicycle repairman."
The guy exclaimed, "A bicycle repairman?!!!"
Vajpayee turns to Bush and says, "See, I told you no-one would worry about the 14 million Pakistanis!"

 

[parasiteatwork]

Kaho na, pyaar hai!
Kyon chalti hai pawan, Because of evaporation.

Kyon jhoome hai gagan, Because of earth's revolution.

Kyon machalta hai mann, Because of excessive respiration.

Na tum jaano na hum. But I just gave all the reasons!

Kyon aati hai bahaar, Because of a change in season,

Kyon lutata hai karaar, Because of mental tension.

Kyon hota hai pyaar, Because of opposites attraction.

Na tum jaano na hum. Like I said, these are all science phenomenon!

Kyon gum hai har disha, Because you have a poor sense of direction.

Kyon hota hai nasha, Because of drug addiction.

Kyon aata hai maz! aa, But science gives us all the information.

Na tum jaano na hum. I did my best to explain.

 

[parasiteatwork]

Doctor & Lady patient!
A woman visiting her doctor’s office suddenly blurts out, “Doctor, kiss me!”
The doctor looks at her and says that it would be against his code of ethics to kiss her.
About 20 minutes later the woman shouts again, “Doctor, please, kiss me just once!”
Again he refuses apologetically but says that as a doctor he simply cannot kiss her.
Finally another 15 minutes pass, and the exasperated woman pleads with the doctor, “Doctor, doctor, please kiss me just once!”
“Look,” says the doctor. “I am sorry. I just can’t kiss you. In fact, I probably shouldn’t even be in bed with you.”

 

[sunny123]

Where do you get these jokes??

 

[1hotaartichoke]

i think she's getting em from santabanta.com

you should go there...there are tons of hot indian girls there

 

[sunny123]

^ and when did I say I was lacking in the amount of hot indian girls in my life??? Once I saw your last sentance, I thought you were "punking" me good. After running the site through google, the description looked safe enough till, boom... the site is filled with pics bollywood girls. The webmasters should really cut down on the amount of pics there are there, and should stick with the main attraction:

Santa and Banta of course!!


Ok, one thing, someone has got to explain this joke too me as mere Hindi accha nehin hai. And I don't wanna ask my Hindi prof what it means next class

Appontment Letter from Amrika
Santa Singh sent his bio data to America to apply for a post in Microsoft.
A few days later he got this reply:-
"Dear Mr. Singh,
You do not meet our requirements. Please do not send any further correspondence.
No phone call shall be entertained.
Thanks"
Santa Singh jumped with joy on receiving this reply.

He arranged a party and when all the guests had come,
he said "Bhaiyon aur Behno, aap ko jaan kar Khushi hogee ki mujhay Amrika mein Naukri Mil Gayee hai."
Everyone was delighted. Santa Singh continued, "Ab main aap sab ko apnaa Appointment Letter padkar sunaongaa, par letter English main hai Isliyen saath-saath Hindi main Translate bhee kartaa jaongaa."
" Dear Mr. Singh ----- pyare singh sahab
You do not meet ---- aap to miltay hee naheen ho
our requirement ---- humko to zaroorat hai
Please do not send any furthur correspondence ---- ab letter vetter bhejnay kee zaroorat nahee hai.
No phone call ---- phone vone kee bhee zaroorat nahee hai
shall be entertained ---- bahut khaatir kee jayegi.
Thanks ---- aapkaa bahut bahut shukriya"

 

[parasiteatwork]

sunny-
First of all,i dont get the jokes from santabanta.com...i dont usually like the jokes there coz they r pathetic...i actually get my jokes from a friend who forwards them to me.......
and i cannot explain the joke to u in english coz that is the translation of the joke and if i would translate it back to u it would not mean a thing.....sorry
I will try posting only english jokes from now on!!!!