Accidentally sent inappropriate email to program

[guytakingboards]

Thanks. PD didn't really tell me much about the contents of the phone call with advance. All my current PD told me the conversation concluded with my advanced program PD wants to talk to me over the phone personally before the new year and before the original meeting was suppose to take place. The circus just keeps on expanding here I barely believe what's happened. Not sure what that means, hopefully that's not a bad sign. I hope they advocated for me during the PD-PD phone call, was hoping for more insider info on what's going through their head.

These days remind me how much of a waste all my effort in med school was

If you’d listen to and heed the advice of the people in this thread, you’d know what people were thinking. Many people here are or have been in program leadership and not only explained what your problems but how to fix them.

Hoping someone else (your prelim PD) fixes your problem is disturbingly childish and likely ineffective. No matter how much you think your prelim PD likes you, no one is going to advocate for you better than you. The fact that you still haven’t owned up personally to your advanced program is the single biggest noose around your career’s neck at this point. All of your efforts should be focused on that coming phone call with your advanced program. Accepting responsibility for the initial error in judgement, compounding that with deflection/denial, and finally groveling for a chance next year instead of getting fired at day 46.

To AGAIN reframe your perspective: you are not the victim in this entire scenario. As has been pointed out several times: your advanced program is the victim. They have done literally nothing wrong other than not be good enough for you. If you want to know what they are thinking, it’s not rocket-science. “we matched [Qpworueury] for our advanced spot next. We got an unsolicited email from them ranting about us when they haven’t even gotten here yet. They lamely denied sending the email then essentially ghosted us. Now we have to spend time and effort at the holiday season figuring out what to do with this person: Fire them immediately and scramble to backfill the slot/go understaffed. Or spend a very uncomfortable [x] amount of years together.” Your advanced program is in a no-win scenario and it’s entirely your fault. Them being mildly annoyed or raging pissed does not change what you need to do moving forward.

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[Big Time Hoosier]

All of your efforts should be focused on that coming phone call with your advanced program.

OP, on your journey to practicing medicine, this phone call is a bigger deal than your acceptance to medical school. That is the reality. Accept it. And, accept that you singlehandedly created this mess. This was not forced upon you by outside forces.

Big Hoss

 

[pierty]

Thanks. PD didn't really tell me much about the contents of the phone call with advance. All my current PD told me the conversation concluded with my advanced program PD wants to talk to me over the phone personally before the new year and before the original meeting was suppose to take place. The circus just keeps on expanding here I barely believe what's happened. Not sure what that means, hopefully that's not a bad sign. I hope they advocated for me during the PD-PD phone call, was hoping for more insider info on what's going through their head.

These days remind me how much of a waste all my effort in med school was

It is a good sign. You have the chance to show your maturity and remorse directly to the PD in a 1-on-1 phone call. They are giving you a chance to speak with them in a less formal setting without other program leadership (i.e., "jury"-like setting). I would guess that your current PD put in a good word for you, and that if the categorical PD gauges that this was a one-time mistake and minor blemish on an otherwise great resident from talking with you directly, you might not even need to have the larger meeting later. Just my thoughts.

I would do my best to show that this perception is correct; that this mistake was an honest one, and that, while you may have had negative feelings in the past, you've reflected and realized how great of an opportunity you have ahead of you, and that you are excited and looking forward to starting soon. These shouldn't be empty words, but a true representation of your growth.

I am worried about phrases such as "The circus just keeps on expanding here I barely believe what's happened." If you mean to say that you are surprised by the evolving developments of your situation, that is an understandable feeling. But I would truly do my best not to look externally for reasons why things are occurring, but to look instead as to how you can change, through your actions, your future.

You have an opportunity to show your maturity and growth, and I would not take it for granted.

 

[candbgirl]

OP I hope you spend the next few hours or days getting your head straight. This phone call might be the most important phone call you ever make. Be prepared because the Advanced Program will be. You can bet they have spent the last weeks getting all of their information together. They know what they can and can’t do.
I think one of your big issues (besides having very poor judgement) is that you hear what you want to hear and spin what you’ve heard to fit your scenario. You need to somehow hear what is actually being said without your usual filters.
Please be careful. Acknowledge this whole mess is your fault. Put the blame squarely where it is and that’s with you. Be truthful, be humble and Good luck.

 

[lal4life]

Thanks. PD didn't really tell me much about the contents of the phone call with advance. All my current PD told me the conversation concluded with my advanced program PD wants to talk to me over the phone personally before the new year and before the original meeting was suppose to take place. The circus just keeps on expanding here I barely believe what's happened. Not sure what that means, hopefully that's not a bad sign. I hope they advocated for me during the PD-PD phone call, was hoping for more insider info on what's going through their head.

These days remind me how much of a waste all my effort in med school was

The problem created was yours and yours alone. At the same time, it is yours to fix and yours alone. Without the humility and self-realization recommended, your career may be over before it really started. It’s not the match’s fault, it’s not your advanced program’s fault, it’s not your current PD’s or program’s fault. The circus expanding is because you started it and didn’t do any timing to stop it.

It’s like you wanted to start a controlled fire, but didn’t set up any fail-safes in place for when it got out of control. And once it started burning outside of its intended purpose, you sat back and watch it burn down. Sometimes, those fires can be controlled if the damage isn’t too extensive.

It’s impossible for us to say the extent of damage you’ve already done. But the absolute best thing you can do is damage control, and follow the advice that has been extensively provided. Or, as others have expressed, quit your advanced program and move on. Because if you don’t do damage control and continue on this path, the inevitability is your firing and little to no chance to ever practice in medicine.

I feel like you’re not understanding the gravity of your mistakes, and until you do, nothing will change.

People here are rooting for you to get it squared away. But that entirely falls on your shoulders. Good luck.

 

[NontradICUdoc]

I barely believe what's happened.

This is why you failed

 

[DarkBluMage]

This is why you failed

 

[NontradICUdoc]

Awesome that someone got the reference

 

[Goro]

These days remind me how much of a waste all my effort in med school was

Well, your professionalism and ethics classes, for sure.
25/25 now.

 

[GoSpursGo]

Thanks. PD didn't really tell me much about the contents of the phone call with advance. All my current PD told me the conversation concluded with my advanced program PD wants to talk to me over the phone personally before the new year and before the original meeting was suppose to take place. The circus just keeps on expanding here I barely believe what's happened. Not sure what that means, hopefully that's not a bad sign. I hope they advocated for me during the PD-PD phone call, was hoping for more insider info on what's going through their head.

These days remind me how much of a waste all my effort in med school was

Yes, your efforts in med school will have been a waste if you continue to deflect blame for this situation from yourself.

As others have said, this phone call will be incredibly consequential. You still have a shot. Swallow your pride and you may be able to salvage your job.

 

[altblue]

Thanks. PD didn't really tell me much about the contents of the phone call with advance. All my current PD told me the conversation concluded with my advanced program PD wants to talk to me over the phone personally before the new year and before the original meeting was suppose to take place. The circus just keeps on expanding here I barely believe what's happened. Not sure what that means, hopefully that's not a bad sign. I hope they advocated for me during the PD-PD phone call, was hoping for more insider info on what's going through their head.

These days remind me how much of a waste all my effort in med school was

It's astounding to me that you haven't deleted this thread. Like, why would you want them to see this? Do you enjoy the attention?

 

[Spiceupyourlife]

I have a question. Have you had a job prior to residency? Like at least retail or fast food? I'm trying to reason that maybe you've never had professional work experience in the past (although, that's still a poor excuse) because accountability and good communication are literally keys to rectifying and eliminating issues.
Rule of thumb for every company I've worked is unless you've been on PTO or LOA, emails need to be responded within 24 hours. I hope this experience has helped you see the importance of this swift action

 

[DO2015CA]

It's astounding to me that you haven't deleted this thread. Like, why would you want them to see this? Do you enjoy the attention?

Because it’s a troll

 

[Big Time Hoosier]

Because it’s a troll

Big Hoss

 

[DO2015CA]

View attachment 363840

Big Hoss

Not hating. I’m loving it. Most entertainment in years.

 

[Big Time Hoosier]

Not hating. I’m loving it. Most entertainment in years.

I'm at 15% this is legit, 85% this is a troll job.

Big Hoss

 

[Qpworueury]

I have a question. Have you had a job prior to residency? Like at least retail or fast food? I'm trying to reason that maybe you've never had professional work experience in the past (although, that's still a poor excuse) because accountability and good communication are literally keys to rectifying and eliminating issues.
Rule of thumb for every company I've worked is unless you've been on PTO or LOA, emails need to be responded within 24 hours. I hope this experience has helped you see the importance of this swift action

Fair question I have had a job before but never had any issues before. At my prior job I always would get complements on my organization skills. APeople said I would respond super fast to emails. Since I got into medical school, I have had attendings wait 2-3 days to respond, so it's not ideal but not out of the ordinary

Yes, your efforts in med school will have been a waste if you continue to deflect blame for this situation from yourself.

As others have said, this phone call will be incredibly consequential. You still have a shot. Swallow your pride and you may be able to salvage your job.

Completely agree. One of my uncle's is a retired physician who's going to go through a bunch of questions with me to prep me for the phone call. I'm not blowing this

It's astounding to me that you haven't deleted this thread. Like, why would you want them to see this? Do you enjoy the attention?

I'm going through and editing my posts. Before posting, I thought about how to write this so fast that on the off chance someone found this post, there's enough differences that would throw them off.

 

[DO2015CA]

Fair question I have had a job before but never had any issues before. At my prior job I always would get complements on my organization skills. APeople said I would respond super fast to emails. Since I got into medical school, I have had attendings wait 2-3 days to respond, so it's not ideal but not out of the ordinary



Completely agree. One of my uncle's is a retired physician who's going to go through a bunch of questions with me to prep me for the phone call. I'm not blowing this

I'm going through and editing my posts. Before posting, I thought about how to write this so fast that on the off chance someone found this post, there's enough differences that would throw them off.

So now the details aren’t true..

 

[Captain_Falcon]

Let’s lock this thread please, now we know this has run its course whether troll (likely) or not (lying about details that people have tried to give advice based upon said details

 

[Big Time Hoosier]

Before posting, I thought about how to write this so fast that on the off chance someone found this post, there's enough differences that would throw them off.

Yes, because this is such a common predicament to find one’s self in...

Big Hoss

 

[SurgDoc95]

Let’s lock this thread please, now we know this has run its course whether troll (likely) or not (lying about details that people have tried to give advice based upon said details

Why? It's entertaining, if the OP wants to continue the master troll job or to update on how things go that's their prerogative

 

[Esmolol]

Ummm... if it's a troll... I'd like to call dibs on movie rights!

 

[Qpworueury]

I'm not lying about the major details. It really doesn't matter to me if you believe me or not. If you really want to know what I'm referring to above, PM me.

Thank to everyone else that has commented. I really needed a wake up call and am preparing for this phone call like a second interview. I was being pretty immature and really need to land on the right foot.

I hope my (past) track record helps me in convincing them that this isn't the person I am

 

[pierty]

I'm not lying about the major details. It really doesn't matter to me if you believe me or not. If you really want to know what I'm referring to above, PM me.

Thank to everyone else that has commented. I really needed a wake up call and am preparing for this phone call like a second interview. I was being pretty immature and really need to land on the right foot.

I hope my (past) track record helps me in convincing them that this isn't the person I am

I'm really glad to hear this. Making mistakes might set one back, but how we learn from, and respond to, those mistakes defines how we move forward.

Everyone learns at a different rate, and I (like others) don't know what experiences you had in life before this incident happened. If you take this as an opportunity to grow as a person, I have no doubt that it will become a net positive experience in the end. Good luck, wishing you well

 

[EthylMethylMan]

Let’s lock this thread please, now we know this has run its course whether troll (likely) or not (lying about details that people have tried to give advice based upon said details

I disagree, I don't think we can say this has run its course until we know the conclusion. Seeing how this goes will be valuable for future students and residents who are dealing with the repercussions of unprofessional behavior.

 

[DO2015CA]

I disagree, I don't think we can say this has run its course until we know the conclusion. Seeing how this goes will be valuable for future students and residents who are dealing with the repercussions of unprofessional behavior.

I think that’s the big lesson here regardless if it’s real or not. My school was so big on professionalism that this would’ve never happened from one of its students. We had professionalism scenarios in orientation and deans hours periodically. Based on where I did residency, not every school hounds professionalism education like mine. It used to frustrate me because I thought how the hell could anyone act like this/think that. Since graduating, I have had multiple medical students and residents make me shake my head and think maybe professionalism instruction is important in med school.

 

[acapnial]

I disagree, I don't think we can say this has run its course until we know the conclusion. Seeing how this goes will be valuable for future students and residents who are dealing with the repercussions of unprofessional behavior.

As long as OP doesnt decide on the program shrugging it off as an ending

 

[DarkBluMage]

Let’s lock this thread please, now we know this has run its course whether troll (likely) or not (lying about details that people have tried to give advice based upon said details

Lock the thread for what? I want an update if OP is willing to give one.

 

[Captain_Falcon]

Lock the thread for what? I want an update if OP is willing to give one.

Because at this juncture, though doubtful I was from the start, I don’t believe this story, and I don’t think there will be any more good advice derived from the thread regardless of the reported
outcome

 

[DarkBluMage]

Because at this juncture, though doubtful I was from the start, I don’t believe this story, and I don’t think there will be any more good advice derived from the thread regardless of the reported
outcome

This isn’t your personal thread. I still don’t see a good reason for asking for someone else’s post to be locked.

 

[Big Time Hoosier]

This isn’t your personal thread. I still don’t see a good reason for asking for someone else’s post to be locked.

This thread will also help set the bar for future trolls.

Big Hoss

 

[Captain_Falcon]

This isn’t your personal thread. I still don’t see a good reason for asking for someone else’s post to be locked.

So only because you disagree that you think this is a real story and not a troll, and because it is not my fake story, I can’t suggest we close the thread?

I’ll counter - I see no reason to keep this thread open, and since it isn’t your thread I see no reason asking to keep someone else’s thread open

 

[DarkBluMage]

So only because you disagree that you think this is a real story and not a troll, and because it is not my fake story, I can’t suggest we close the thread?

I’ll counter - I see no reason to keep this thread open, and since it isn’t your thread I see no reason asking to keep someone else’s thread open

Where did I say that? I didn’t say anything about believing if it’s real or not. I said I want an update. This isn’t your own post and you want it locked for your opinion. Seems a little controlling and unnecessary. If you don’t want to read the thread then don’t read it. OP hasn’t asked for it to be locked and it’s their thread.

 

[GoSpursGo]

So only because you disagree that you think this is a real story and not a troll, and because it is not my fake story, I can’t suggest we close the thread?

I’ll counter - I see no reason to keep this thread open, and since it isn’t your thread I see no reason asking to keep someone else’s thread open

I’ve certainly considered locking the thread a few times. Ultimately, this story strains credulity, but it is somewhere on the bell curve of believability. And the OP has at least recently been receptive to feedback. Since it isn’t obvious that this is a troll, the story is continuing to develop, and there aren’t any other TOS violations, there isn’t a good reason to lock the thread.

I do think all the noise questioning whether the OP is a troll probably is a waste of space. I’m not sure there is any need to comment until we get further updates

 

[thumbz]

OP - any chance you'd be willing to dox yourself to one of our admin/physicians who could confirm you are not a troll but truly a resident? I've been following this thread with great interest - trust me folks, having worked in a teaching program this is sadly not outside the realm of possibility. I have seen substantially worse in my short time as a teaching attending. I'm very interested to see how this plays out, but if we knew for sure it was real it would make it more helpful as a warning to future readers.

 

[Dantes]

I have seen substantially worse in my short time as a teaching attending.

Oh? Do tell

 

[Qpworueury]

OP - any chance you'd be willing to dox yourself to one of our admin/physicians who could confirm you are not a troll but truly a resident? I've been following this thread with great interest - trust me folks, having worked in a teaching program this is sadly not outside the realm of possibility. I have seen substantially worse in my short time as a teaching attending. I'm very interested to see how this plays out, but if we knew for sure it was real it would make it more helpful as a warning to future readers.

Anything from your experience that may help me?

 

[gyngyn]

I have seen substantially worse in my short time as a teaching attending.

I've seen felony firearms, stalking, drug overdose (survived and death), threats of violence via social media, tampering with medical records with the intent to frame, restraining orders...
I haven't seen arson yet.

 

[VA Hopeful Dr]

I've seen felony firearms, stalking, drug overdose (survived and death), threats of violence via social media, tampering with medical records with the intent to frame, restraining orders...
I haven't seen arson yet.

And that was all a single student...

 

[Goro]

Oh,!!! Can we hear about the firearms story?????!!!!!

 

[gyngyn]

Oh,!!! Can we hear about the firearms story?????!!!!!

Sorry! Too easily identifiable.

 

[GoSpursGo]

I've seen felony firearms, stalking, drug overdose (survived and death), threats of violence via social media, tampering with medical records with the intent to frame, restraining orders...
I haven't seen arson yet.

THIS is the one that caught my eye.

 

[skeptastic]

THIS is the one that caught my eye.

Freaking insane

 

[gyngyn]

THIS is the one that caught my eye.

Another reason not to have paper charts.

 

[LunaOri]

I've seen felony firearms, stalking, drug overdose (survived and death), threats of violence via social media, tampering with medical records with the intent to frame, restraining orders...
I haven't seen arson yet.

Don’t forget sexual assault

 

[thumbz]

Anything from your experience that may help me?

The closest was a medical student who very publicly said we were all grossly incompetent and shouldn't be open as a facility - they got sent back to their medical school. No idea what happened to them after that, but obviously they weren't welcome back with us.

If anyone is wondering, your school makes the single biggest impact on what happens to you. I have personal experience with a preceptor friend who called a medical school to let them know they were going to fail a student, so the student was pulled off of the rotation, placed on a "study month" and never had this preceptor do an eval. This was a known problem student the preceptor was given a heads up on, hence the courtesy call to the medical school. The school made sure they got the student pushed through to graduate on time.

Don’t forget sexual assault

Sadly yes, I've seen this. And sexual harassment. Drinking before your shift. Leaving the hospital when you're the only in house resident AND the code team, DUI's, mug shots.

 

[NontradICUdoc]

I know of a medical student who as a late third year was accused of pushing his girlfriend off of a balcony killing her and then fleeing authorities . Not only was he expelled but they erased all pictures of him from all material. I don’t know what became of him but I know what didn’t become of him and that is becoming a doctor

 

[ortnakas]

So are we all just giving OP “well at least I didn’t commit [insert actual crime here]” stories now?

 

[Esmolol]

Not necessarily, but it makes me feel good that I am doing relatively well

 

[NontradICUdoc]

So are we all just giving OP “well at least I didn’t commit [insert actual crime here]” stories now?

No, we are entertaining ourselves until OP updates us on the phone call