what year to get pregnant

[Carboxide]

I mean alone time as in sometimes I just want to go away to a beach, be by myself and read/relax. Yeah there are times when you want to go out with your husband, but there are times when you want to be ALONE or with friends. I mean you should tell your husband that you are going to be gone for the weekend, but having to ask for money and stuff gets really complicated. Thats why I prefer some money on the side.

There's a HUGE difference between asking for money and discussing whether or not the family can afford it. The first is not cool to have to do; the second is a standard.

If my husband had money that he squirrelled away without telling me and spent only on himself and stuff, I'd be upset because it shows he doesn't trust me with money. When you get married, your finances should join.

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[PharmDstudent]

That's bull****. There was this girl in pharmacy school I flirted with for months waiting for her to get single...she gets single...I'd always lock eyes with her at lunch..we'd just gaze into each others eyes...it was obvious she liked me...

Anyway, I asked her out like the week after she broke up with her previous boyfriend...she said no because I wasn't as religious as her (lmao...)

I don't play games.

I met my future wife the next week and never looked back.

So my wife then gets a job at the school of pahrmacy a few weeks later...a few weeks into it she goes "...you know your friend? She keeps giving me dirty looks like she hates me.." I never told her that I asked her out or anything. I was like, "nah, really?" Trying to play dumb. So she goes, "Oh yeah? I think she's jealous. Next time we pass her in the hall glance over your shoulder real quick, I GUARANTEE you she'll have her head turned around, staring at us. Sure enough, later that day...I pass her...glance real quick...she's staring at us...jerks her head in another direction like she got her hand caught in the cookie jar. I busted up laughing...

**** cracks me up.

And it's a lesson. We don't "like" a challenge. It's annoying. It's something we get over if we like you enough...I guess...

Ok. But no one likes to be bored... And who spends X number of $ at D&B's? Why? Cause you like to answer silly questions? No. You like the challenge of trivia.

I'm telling you. Girls that wait around for guys and clean up after them and all that garbage are the first ones to be cheated on, because they're always going to be there regardless of his actions... for whatever reason.



The girl who you locked eyes with was an idiot. I didn't say for women to be a tease. A tease and a challenge are totally different.

 

[njac]

And if you want alone time a trip to Hawaii isn't necessary. There are plenty of nice beaches that are cheaper to fly to.

 

[WVUPharm2007]

Ok. But no one likes to be bored... And who spends X number of $ at D&B's? Why? Cause you like to answer silly questions? No. You like the challenge of trivia.

Unless they aren't available. IF they aren't, I'm not waiting around, I'm going to the coin droppers...

I'm telling you. Girls that wait around for guys and clean up after them and all that garbage are the first ones to be cheated on, because they're always going to be there regardless of his actions... for whatever reason.

Is it? I/we don't believe in complete monotony, anyway...nobody should. It's setting yourself up for failure and jealousy.

The girl who you locked eyes with was an idiot. I didn't say for women to be a tease. A tease and a challenge are totally different.

No they aren't.

 

[ffpickle]

You're not a woman. You wouldn't understand going through labor personally is or even being pregnant. You seem to miss this point. And yes, the driven part, you can understand that because it's mostly the male urges you're talking about. And for women who cannot have kids, trust me, pregnancy would be something special for them (or for any woman that wants a family).



It's thoughts like these that foster the idea that women are perceived less than men in society. Before our society was paternal, it was maternal in every aspect...you may want to go back in history on this...then again, history and religion was always written in a man's perspective. However, this comment about women being lucky in this day in age: They're still not "lucky" if men like you keep thinking like this. Women were repressed by men for the longest time in history and just because we live in a developed nation, doesn't mean that comments or thoughts like these will make it any better or "luckier" for women. And if men were physically superior in every aspect, why wouldn't nature/God have men bear children than women...it would make sense because they are better adapted to the pain...but men aren't, so you need to acknowledge that.



Like ffpickle said, women bear children and if they're in the work force, its something that the employer and employees will have to deal with. Understaff, overstaff or neither, bottom line: you're going have to deal with it and shouldn't bitch about it. Perhaps if you were female you wouldn't feel the need to hate on pregnant women in the workplace, because clearly you make it out that you do.

absolutely true.

 

[ffpickle]

I love to cook and clean, actually. Would I do it to make a man happy? Never.

A clean house makes me happy. I'm sure it's appreciated by others, but this is where I live, so it makes me happy to live in a clean place- regardless of "him".

I cook, because it's fun. I made egg salad on Sunday, strawberry cheesecake cupcakes on Monday, and a pizza on Wednesday. But who did I make it for specifically? Me. Others are more than welcome to have what I cook, but I'm not going to cook for them (unless they request something) just because I think it's a nicey, wifey thing to do.

Homemade food is homemade food; it's good. Who cares if it's for "him"? Isn't it sweeter if I share what I cook, because I want to be sweet to you and share with you?


*Sigh* I thought this was obvious to people already?!

w/e........as long as the **** gets done, tell yourself whatever makes you feel good along the way.

 

[ffpickle]

That's bull****. There was this girl in pharmacy school I flirted with for months waiting for her to get single...she gets single...I'd always lock eyes with her at lunch..we'd just gaze into each others eyes...it was obvious she liked me...

Anyway, I asked her out like the week after she broke up with her previous boyfriend...she said no because I wasn't as religious as her (lmao...)

I don't play games.

I met my future wife the next week and never looked back.

So my wife then gets a job at the school of pahrmacy a few weeks later...a few weeks into it she goes "...you know your friend? She keeps giving me dirty looks like she hates me.." I never told her that I asked her out or anything. I was like, "nah, really?" Trying to play dumb. So she goes, "Oh yeah? I think she's jealous. Next time we pass her in the hall glance over your shoulder real quick, I GUARANTEE you she'll have her head turned around, staring at us. Sure enough, later that day...I pass her...glance real quick...she's staring at us...jerks her head in another direction like she got her hand caught in the cookie jar. I busted up laughing...

**** cracks me up.

And it's a lesson. We don't "like" a challenge. It's annoying. It's something we get over if we like you enough...I guess...

yeh we do........she can't be easy....i dont wanna be crude..but ya, its all a big game----just one giant challenge lol....i dont want it if its too easy.

 

[WVUPharm2007]

Ok, fine...then some people are ****ing sadist *****s...I apologize...

 

[FarscapeGirl]

And most people on here are misunderstanding the term Trophy Wife. Let me explain:

So girls, here it is, we all know that we are smart, ambitious, motivated, and fun, however, if given the choice, or the right rich man, we would allow ourselves to become Trophy Wives. We would not be giving up our goals, because our goals include raising our children, planning charity events, community service, etc... So we might have to have breakfast, lunch, and dinner on the table, and we obviously will find time in our day to do the laundry, while wearing the latest fashion, and we will proudly cart the children around in the sharpest vehicles, but we can somehow allow our husbands to hire a cleaning service... A personal trainer wouldn't be entirely terrible either... And...we don't think this is asking too much, in the name of love =)

If I had wanted all that, I would have stayed a part of my mother's church. They seem to be into women staying at home, taking care of their husbands, and raising their many kids.

But I don't; I would never be that sort of trophy wife, even if you paid me. I have a brain and plan to use it for a little more than planning charity events (although, after just trying to plan to have five busy committee members in the same time and the same place plus organizing my own wedding made me realize I don't have the patience for that sort of stuff anyway). My husband does most of the cooking in our house, and I do most of the laundry, although usually not in the latest fashions as I don't like bleach stains on my favorite clothes. I give a rat's @$$ about driving the latest car, as long as it's decent. When we have money, we're so hiring a cleaning service and probably a personal trainer for both of us. Until then, the house is a bit messy and we could use some more exercise.

There is really a part of me that hopes for your sake, SHC1984, that you're a troll. However, with the constant themes in many of your posts, I don't think that's the case. If you do get married, with these thoughts on marriage you've expressed, you have a high chance of ending up unhappy. Even if get to a point where you are a trophy wife as you describe, the chances of your life staying like that are slim. Family members get sick, the economy crashes, people get divorced. As well, instead of having your own dreams, you're basing yours on the dreams of a potential, unknown, currently non-existing husband. The chances of you finding someone like that are much slimmer than your chance at succeeding yourself at something.

 

[FarscapeGirl]

That's bull****. There was this girl in pharmacy school I flirted with for months waiting for her to get single...she gets single...I'd always lock eyes with her at lunch..we'd just gaze into each others eyes...it was obvious she liked me...

Anyway, I asked her out like the week after she broke up with her previous boyfriend...she said no because I wasn't as religious as her (lmao...)

I don't play games.

I met my future wife the next week and never looked back.

So my wife then gets a job at the school of pahrmacy a few weeks later...a few weeks into it she goes "...you know your friend? She keeps giving me dirty looks like she hates me.." I never told her that I asked her out or anything. I was like, "nah, really?" Trying to play dumb. So she goes, "Oh yeah? I think she's jealous. Next time we pass her in the hall glance over your shoulder real quick, I GUARANTEE you she'll have her head turned around, staring at us. Sure enough, later that day...I pass her...glance real quick...she's staring at us...jerks her head in another direction like she got her hand caught in the cookie jar. I busted up laughing...

**** cracks me up.

And it's a lesson. We don't "like" a challenge. It's annoying. It's something we get over if we like you enough...I guess...

Playing hard to get is not only annoying, but it's downright stupid. Hopefully this girl learned her lesson and the next time a guy she liked asked her out, she just said yes. Probably not, though, since she seemed to blame your now wife.

I dated plenty of guys in college, and I think it helped that I refused to play all of these stupid games. And although I had standards, I also wasn't super picky about whom I dated. Since I have goals of my own, I didn't have to worry about anyone having the potential to support me, which doesn't work that well all the time, anyway. I mean, who would have thought Barrack Obama and Bill Gates would end up where they did?

 

[PharmDstudent]

w/e........as long as the **** gets done, tell yourself whatever makes you feel good along the way.

Oh, it'll get done alright. It's just... it gets done how I want it to get done and on my terms if I'm the one doing it.

yeh we do........she can't be easy....i dont wanna be crude..but ya, its all a big game----just one giant challenge lol....i dont want it if its too easy.

That's what I had thought...

 

[PharmDstudent]

Unless they aren't available. IF they aren't, I'm not waiting around, I'm going to the coin droppers...

Haha! Coin droppers... haha! That sounds funny.

Is it? I/we don't believe in complete monotony, anyway...nobody should. It's setting yourself up for failure and jealousy.

You've hinted at that before. I wonder what she thinks???

 

[SHC1984]

There's a HUGE difference between asking for money and discussing whether or not the family can afford it. The first is not cool to have to do; the second is a standard.

If my husband had money that he squirrelled away without telling me and spent only on himself and stuff, I'd be upset because it shows he doesn't trust me with money. When you get married, your finances should join.

How about this...Some of his money is put into a joint account, some of your money is put into a joint account and the rest is put into seperate accounts for you and him. The Joint account is used to pay bills.
The accounts thats made up for you and him are for you and him to spent without consulting each other. There are going to be times when I want to buy something but don't want him to know about it and vice versa. What if its his birthday. Do you want him to know how much you spent on his birthday present?? won't it be better if it was a secret?

Think of it like when you are a teenager, when your parents give you an allowance or when you had a job to make your own money, do you have to let your parents know every detail of what you are spending on? I am a private person, and don't like to let people know every detail of my life.

 

[SHC1984]

Ok. But no one likes to be bored... And who spends X number of $ at D&B's? Why? Cause you like to answer silly questions? No. You like the challenge of trivia.

I'm telling you. Girls that wait around for guys and clean up after them and all that garbage are the first ones to be cheated on, because they're always going to be there regardless of his actions... for whatever reason.



The girl who you locked eyes with was an idiot. I didn't say for women to be a tease. A tease and a challenge are totally different.

You are right guys like a challenge. Desperate woman will get nowhere. However, what I am saying is I don't mind cooking and doing laundry, especially since he is taking care of most of the bills.

What gets a man to cheat isn't the fact that his wife keeps his house clean, does laundry and cook. What makes a man cheat is when he has a wife that too damn CLINGY! Calls 24/7, always insist on asking him where he has been, nags him, don't let him have any friends, don't let him have any freedom.

I am the opposite of clingy, I have a life of my own. I have friends of my own. I don't need to stick to a guy like glue to make him want me. I don't have any problems with him going out with friends b/c I LOVE going out myself.

 

[SHC1984]

If I had wanted all that, I would have stayed a part of my mother's church. They seem to be into women staying at home, taking care of their husbands, and raising their many kids.

But I don't; I would never be that sort of trophy wife, even if you paid me. I have a brain and plan to use it for a little more than planning charity events (although, after just trying to plan to have five busy committee members in the same time and the same place plus organizing my own wedding made me realize I don't have the patience for that sort of stuff anyway). My husband does most of the cooking in our house, and I do most of the laundry, although usually not in the latest fashions as I don't like bleach stains on my favorite clothes. I give a rat's @$$ about driving the latest car, as long as it's decent. When we have money, we're so hiring a cleaning service and probably a personal trainer for both of us. Until then, the house is a bit messy and we could use some more exercise.

There is really a part of me that hopes for your sake, SHC1984, that you're a troll. However, with the constant themes in many of your posts, I don't think that's the case. If you do get married, with these thoughts on marriage you've expressed, you have a high chance of ending up unhappy. Even if get to a point where you are a trophy wife as you describe, the chances of your life staying like that are slim. Family members get sick, the economy crashes, people get divorced. As well, instead of having your own dreams, you're basing yours on the dreams of a potential, unknown, currently non-existing husband. The chances of you finding someone like that are much slimmer than your chance at succeeding yourself at something.

okay, maybe that post was a bit of an exaggeration. And no I don't troll, but I do speak my mind and sometimes people agree, sometimes people hate me. I don't care though, b/c I am not the type to lie to make people like me.

Here is the perfect life: Husband that takes care of the bills (mortage, cars, etc.). I have one child (maybe two) and take care of it. I am going to take off work until the child is at pre school then maybe I will work every Monday from 8 to 4 JUST MONDAYS though to have some spending money on the side.

I don't know why you find it so hard to believe. I know a lot of doctor's wives that stay home and never go back to work. And MOST of them have degrees/some are even doctors themselves. It is very rare for a doctor to marry a high school drop out or someone that lacks education.

 

[WVUPharm2007]

Haha! Coin droppers... haha! That sounds funny.

They are like crack. You have no idea...

You've hinted at that before. I wonder what she thinks???

It's her idea based upon who she is. I'm just along for the ride...

 

[ffpickle]

Unless they aren't available. IF they aren't, I'm not waiting around, I'm going to the coin droppers...



Is it? I/we don't believe in complete monotony, anyway...nobody should. It's setting yourself up for failure and jealousy.




No they aren't.

If you don't 'believe' in monotony, then maybe you shouldn't have gone into Pharm

 

[ffpickle]

okay, maybe that post was a bit of an exaggeration. And no I don't troll, but I do speak my mind and sometimes people agree, sometimes people hate me. I don't care though, b/c I am not the type to lie to make people like me.

Here is the perfect life: Husband that takes care of the bills (mortage, cars, etc.). I have one child (maybe two) and take care of it. I am going to take off work until the child is at pre school then maybe I will work every Monday from 8 to 4 JUST MONDAYS though to have some spending money on the side.

I don't know why you find it so hard to believe. I know a lot of doctor's wives that stay home and never go back to work. And MOST of them have degrees/some are even doctors themselves. It is very rare for a doctor to marry a high school drop out or someone that lacks education.

It doesn't have to be one or the other though, right? lol...cuz I hate you, despite agreeing with you

If I made >=250k, that would be my ideal life too

 

[ffpickle]

How about this...Some of his money is put into a joint account, some of your money is put into a joint account and the rest is put into seperate accounts for you and him. The Joint account is used to pay bills.
The accounts thats made up for you and him are for you and him to spent without consulting each other. There are going to be times when I want to buy something but don't want him to know about it and vice versa. What if its his birthday. Do you want him to know how much you spent on his birthday present?? won't it be better if it was a secret?

Think of it like when you are a teenager, when your parents give you an allowance or when you had a job to make your own money, do you have to let your parents know every detail of what you are spending on? I am a private person, and don't like to let people know every detail of my life.

lol.....so, you're looking for a sugar daddy. not criticizing, just clarifying.

 

[ffpickle]

You are the type of guy that would let your date pay for her own dinner and maybe yours too huh?

So your saying that your wife isn't allow to have her own money? let me guess she has to ask for your permission everytime she goes out too?? thats lame, she is more like a child then a wife.

I don't like asking people for money when I want to buy things for myself, thats why I want a part-time pretty well paying job. I will never ask my husband to give me 2000 dollars for a handbag for example, I will buy that myself. I do expect my husband to pay for the mortage, bills and car payments though.

what a hypocrite you are.

 

[WVUPharm2007]

If you don't 'believe' in monotony, then maybe you shouldn't have gone into Pharm

lmao...yeah, yeah...you know what I meant...late night tired posting spree..

 

[Carboxide]

How about this...Some of his money is put into a joint account, some of your money is put into a joint account and the rest is put into seperate accounts for you and him. The Joint account is used to pay bills.
The accounts thats made up for you and him are for you and him to spent without consulting each other. There are going to be times when I want to buy something but don't want him to know about it and vice versa. What if its his birthday. Do you want him to know how much you spent on his birthday present?? won't it be better if it was a secret?

Think of it like when you are a teenager, when your parents give you an allowance or when you had a job to make your own money, do you have to let your parents know every detail of what you are spending on? I am a private person, and don't like to let people know every detail of my life.

THAT is reasonable, and it is exactly what I said before - determining how much you have to spend based on budgeting and you get that money. What is NOT reasonable is what you have been saying - "my money is my money and it won't go towards bills".

 

[PharmDstudent]

^^^
I think the fact that this "account" will be "secret" is what really gets to me.

What's the point in getting married if you like keeping things private?



Honestly, I think SHC is just daydreaming and straying from reality.

 

[FarscapeGirl]

okay, maybe that post was a bit of an exaggeration. And no I don't troll, but I do speak my mind and sometimes people agree, sometimes people hate me. I don't care though, b/c I am not the type to lie to make people like me.

Here is the perfect life: Husband that takes care of the bills (mortage, cars, etc.). I have one child (maybe two) and take care of it. I am going to take off work until the child is at pre school then maybe I will work every Monday from 8 to 4 JUST MONDAYS though to have some spending money on the side.

I don't know why you find it so hard to believe. I know a lot of doctor's wives that stay home and never go back to work. And MOST of them have degrees/some are even doctors themselves. It is very rare for a doctor to marry a high school drop out or someone that lacks education.

I know several stay-at-home moms. They are smart, intelligent women, and it worked out for their families for them to stay home. My issue is not that you would like to be a stay-at-home mom; it's that you've already decided that this is what you're going to do and you will not be happy any other way, despite the fact you aren't even in a steady relationship yet. You don't know what's going to happen or even whom you're going to marry.

What if you end up divorced and have to work for a living to support you and your kid? What if your husband dies or becomes disabled? What if he loses his job? I hope none of these things happen, but they're possibilities. You should make sure that you're happy with your career choice and that you can see yourself doing it full time in case you need to.

Oh, and I have no problem if a couple has a joint account and then separate accounts of their own to spend however they want. That's a good idea, especially if it helps reduce arguments over money.

 

[Carboxide]

^^^
I think the fact that this "account" will be "secret" is what really gets to me.

What's the point in getting married if you like keeping things private?



Honestly, I think SHC is just daydreaming and straying from reality.

Oh yes, secret accounts are completely unacceptable.

 

[Kirbypuff]

I'm still waiting for science to explode into developing a way for men to grow uteri and have babies for us. Until then, you misogynistic bitchazses can suck it. I'm gonna get pregnant, expect my male co-workers to step it up a notch while I get some sweet vacation months off, and then I am going to come back and become your boss.

 

[Kirbypuff]

Oh yea to the OP: 4th year if you must.

 

[WVUPharm2007]

I am going to come back and become your boss.

I've never in my life seen a female director. I'm not joking. I'm sure they exist somewhere...but I have seriously never seen one with my own two eyes.

 

[johnep34]

Celebrated our golden wedding last year. With money, we have always had a joint account for household bills etc, but I was so upset by my mother having to ask my father for money for hair dressing etc, that I ensured we also each had our own accounts for personal items. While my wife was bringing up the children, she just used the joint account and savings in her own account.

Currently, I am transferring most savings into her name to save tax.

All depends in the end on trust.
johnep

 

[IrishHammer]

I'm still waiting for science to explode into developing a way for men to grow uteri and have babies for us. Until then, you misogynistic bitchazses can suck it. I'm gonna get pregnant, expect my male co-workers to step it up a notch while I get some sweet vacation months off, and then I am going to come back and become your boss.

Fine. And I'll take a nice little trip to the Bahamas for a month or three the day you get back from maternity leave and expect you to pick up the slack while I'm gone.

Or even better. I'll develop a kidney stone and demand a month off after passing it.

 

[njac]

Fine. And I'll take a nice little trip to the Bahamas for a month or three the day you get back from maternity leave and expect you to pick up the slack while I'm gone.

Or even better. I'll develop a kidney stone and demand a month off after passing it.

I hear that is far worse than child birth!

 

[SHC1984]

what a hypocrite you are.

Either you can't read or you don't know what hypocrite means or both.

What I stated is the REASON why I am not a hypocrite. I stated in ALL my posts that I DO NOT LIKE ASKING FOR MONEY. I don't like asking for money from my parents, boyfriends, and future husband. Thats why I want a part-time job when I am married.
Yeah I had an allowance when I was a teenager, but it was my parent's idea to give it to me, I never ask for it. They gave me 20 dollars a week, which was NOT enough for me at all, so I got a job when I was 16 and pay for everything that I own in my closet by myself. I LOVE it too b/c I never had to consult or ask my parents for money for anything. They only had 14,000 dollars save up for my first car. I wanted a car that was 32,000 and guess what I saved up the rest and pay for it. Did I ask for any money? once again NO.

Same with boyfriends, I don't ask for money b/c I don't like it. I don't like discussing MONEY with them either. If I want something FOR ME, I want to be able to get it myself. HOWEVER there is a thing call EXPECTATIONS/STANDARDS that I have. Like for example, I DO expect a boyfriend to pay for my dinner, movies, and vacations. I am sure most women expect that I have never met a woman that paid when she was ask out on a date and if she did the guy will NOT have a second date for sure.

Same with husbands, I don't like discussing money with them. I don't like consulting or asking for X amount for clothes, Y amount for shoes, Z amount for botox. I prefer to pay for those by myself. However, the STANDARDS/EXPECTATIONS comes into play again here...I expect my future husband to pay for the bills. Just like I expected my boyfriends to pay for my dinner/movie. SAME thing. And in NO post have I ever discussed anything with me ASKING for money b/c I will never do that. I have never in my life have to ask for a dime. Yeah, I had boyfriends that buy me expensive gifts in the past, but those were all their IDEAS. I never asked or beg for anything.

A sugardaddy/sugar baby deal is when the sugar baby ASK the sugardaddy to pay for everything b/c usually the sugar baby is half his age and does not want to work. And thats not what I am looking for.

 

[SHC1984]

Oh yes, secret accounts are completely unacceptable.

Yes, seperate accounts are unacceptable when the husband and wife are both struggling finaincially. It would be crazy for the wife to put 20K in her account if her husband makes only 30K a year and she makes only 30K. It would cause them both to be bankrupted.

Its only accepable to have seperate accounts when the husband makes a huge bulk of the money.

The account will not be a secret b/c he know about it, he will know how much is IN IT. So whats the secret about it? He just won't know how much you spent on clothes, dining out, wine, shoes, going out, etc. But frankly do you really want him to know exactly to the penny how much you spent everyday? I don't think its neccessary to know every detail of your spouses life to have a good marriage. Vice versa I don't care how much my husband spents on whatever he wants to buy or whenever he goes out. B/c how will that piece of important benefit me?? I really just don't care or want to discuss his spending, as long as the bills get paid and we have a good amount saved up...the rest is for him to spend.

 

[SHC1984]

I've never in my life seen a female director. I'm not joking. I'm sure they exist somewhere...but I have seriously never seen one with my own two eyes.

Yeah we have female pharmacists in our pharmacy, but the director and pharmacy manager are all males.

 

[SHC1984]

I know several stay-at-home moms. They are smart, intelligent women, and it worked out for their families for them to stay home. My issue is not that you would like to be a stay-at-home mom; it's that you've already decided that this is what you're going to do and you will not be happy any other way, despite the fact you aren't even in a steady relationship yet. You don't know what's going to happen or even whom you're going to marry.

What if you end up divorced and have to work for a living to support you and your kid? What if your husband dies or becomes disabled? What if he loses his job? I hope none of these things happen, but they're possibilities. You should make sure that you're happy with your career choice and that you can see yourself doing it full time in case you need to.

Oh, and I have no problem if a couple has a joint account and then separate accounts of their own to spend however they want. That's a good idea, especially if it helps reduce arguments over money.

My point wasn't directed towards only you. Its just that a lot of women think that they can just quit school and marry someone with money and status, but thats rarely the case and if it is the case the woman's family has a lot of money/status to back up for her lack of education.
My point was MOST successful/educated men marry only woman that either came from a prominent family or they have a good education themselves. Rarely will a Ivy League graduate thats rich and successful choose a woman thats stupid with no education to be his wife just b/c she works for him in his office. She might be the mistress, but the wife status will never come by. Thats why I don't think an education is ever a waste.

Thats ONE of the reasons why I want to educate myself b/c I don't think a smart/successful man will even consider marrying a stupid woman.

Secondly, even though I have high expectations, you are right that I can't see the future. I could be widowed at 35. And I will be okay with working full time then. Thats why I am working at Target Pharmacy right now and I am looking towards mail order pharmacy as well. I think I can handle it. Yeah, I prefer Plan A, but Plan B is okay too.

And I don't mean to get off topic but I can't help it when I see a thread with an OP thats obviously not ready to have a child want one. Having a child before you are ready mentally and finanicially should be labeled as CHILD ABUSE b/c its just not fair to the child.

 

[Kirbypuff]

I've never in my life seen a female director. I'm not joking. I'm sure they exist somewhere...but I have seriously never seen one with my own two eyes.

From that I'm going to derive that where you work, the benefits of becoming a director are not worth attaining the job.

Fine. And I'll take a nice little trip to the Bahamas for a month or three the day you get back from maternity leave and expect you to pick up the slack while I'm gone.

Or even better. I'll develop a kidney stone and demand a month off after passing it.

It's a rock! Congratulations. I hope if you do have kidney stones, your co-workers will treat you the same way you treat your pregnant co-workers.

 

[VancTheTank]

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[Transformer]

Kirbypuff - My DoP is a woman. They exist.

Much of the discussion above has centered on shared income. What about shared debt? Considering many on this forum are still in school or have recently graduated, do you consider student loan debt to be shared or individual?

Assume the student loans were taken on prior to meeting your future spouse.

In my opinion, on paper, student loans should be individual. I hear if you combine the student loans into one account and if your spouse dies (knock on wood), you would have to pay yours and your spouses share of the student loans. Conversely, if the accounts were separated, the deceased spouse's loans would be nullified.

In terms of student loans debt, the responsibilities for payment should be shared, but for the above reason, I don't think student loans debt should be combined into one account.

 

[WVUPharm2007]

From that I'm going to derive that where you work, the benefits of becoming a director are not worth attaining the job.

The vibe I get is that you must be one of those inverse sexists. Typical feminist bitch that thinks its ok to bash men because women couldn't vote 60 years before she was born. One that doesn't realize the glaring inherent hypocrisy that occurs when the term "feminist" and "equality" are used in conjunction with each other. Or I could be wrong. But that won't ever stop me from making baseless accusations. This is the internet, dammit. I can say just about anything I please without any repercussions. Hahaha.

 

[PharmDstudent]

Much of the discussion above has centered on shared income. What about shared debt? Considering many on this forum are still in school or have recently graduated, do you consider student loan debt to be shared or individual?

Assume the student loans were taken on prior to meeting your future spouse.

Student loans are the individual's burden. I don't believe that the spouse would have to assume the debt if the borrower/other spouse dies- as long as the spouse doesn't agree to the debt to begin with.

 

[StaviZFingerZ]

I've never in my life seen a female director. I'm not joking. I'm sure they exist somewhere...but I have seriously never seen one with my own two eyes.

I'm going to make a gender bias statement from my anecdotal experience. Female directors tend to be more detail oriented and sweat the small stuff. More often than not, they get things done more effectively men. Yet, their success comes when they decide they don't have to be a man or try to out do men.

 

[ffpickle]

Either you can't read or you don't know what hypocrite means or both.

What I stated is the REASON why I am not a hypocrite. I stated in ALL my posts that I DO NOT LIKE ASKING FOR MONEY. I don't like asking for money from my parents, boyfriends, and future husband. Thats why I want a part-time job when I am married.
Yeah I had an allowance when I was a teenager, but it was my parent's idea to give it to me, I never ask for it. They gave me 20 dollars a week, which was NOT enough for me at all, so I got a job when I was 16 and pay for everything that I own in my closet by myself. I LOVE it too b/c I never had to consult or ask my parents for money for anything. They only had 14,000 dollars save up for my first car. I wanted a car that was 32,000 and guess what I saved up the rest and pay for it. Did I ask for any money? once again NO.

Same with boyfriends, I don't ask for money b/c I don't like it. I don't like discussing MONEY with them either. If I want something FOR ME, I want to be able to get it myself. HOWEVER there is a thing call EXPECTATIONS/STANDARDS that I have. Like for example, I DO expect a boyfriend to pay for my dinner, movies, and vacations. I am sure most women expect that I have never met a woman that paid when she was ask out on a date and if she did the guy will NOT have a second date for sure.

Same with husbands, I don't like discussing money with them. I don't like consulting or asking for X amount for clothes, Y amount for shoes, Z amount for botox. I prefer to pay for those by myself. However, the STANDARDS/EXPECTATIONS comes into play again here...I expect my future husband to pay for the bills. Just like I expected my boyfriends to pay for my dinner/movie. SAME thing. And in NO post have I ever discussed anything with me ASKING for money b/c I will never do that. I have never in my life have to ask for a dime. Yeah, I had boyfriends that buy me expensive gifts in the past, but those were all their IDEAS. I never asked or beg for anything.

A sugardaddy/sugar baby deal is when the sugar baby ASK the sugardaddy to pay for everything b/c usually the sugar baby is half his age and does not want to work. And thats not what I am looking for.

It's both

 

[Maxpwer222]

Have kid when you can afford it, so I do not have to pay for your inability to keep it in your pants.

 

[Kirbypuff]

The vibe I get is that you must be one of those inverse sexists. Typical feminist bitch that thinks its ok to bash men because women couldn't vote 60 years before she was born. One that doesn't realize the glaring inherent hypocrisy that occurs when the term "feminist" and "equality" are used in conjunction with each other. Or I could be wrong. But that won't ever stop me from making baseless accusations. This is the internet, dammit. I can say just about anything I please without any repercussions. Hahaha.

It's true, I can be aggressively feministic when unfair suggestions are made against women. It is about equality. I was joking about taking a vacation when I'm pregnant; I think it's ludicrous to compare maternity leave with vacation and pregnant women with lazy co-workers. COME ON!! You can say whatever you want, but if it's misogynistic, you should expect me to complain. I know it's harder for a man to be keenly aware of all the subtle injustices women experience. That's why I'm here to help.

 

[Maxpwer222]

It's true, I can be aggressively feministic when unfair suggestions are made against women. It is about equality. I was joking about taking a vacation when I'm pregnant; I think it's ludicrous to compare maternity leave with vacation and pregnant women with lazy co-workers. COME ON!! You can say whatever you want, but if it's misogynistic, you should expect me to complain. I know it's harder for a man to be keenly aware of all the subtle injustices women experience. That's why I'm here to help.

Isn't maternity leave basically an extended vacation? While I don't think a pregnant woman is a lazy co-worker, they just happen to both cause headaches for your co-workers.

 

[WVUPharm2007]

It's true, I can be aggressively feministic when unfair suggestions are made against women. It is about equality. I was joking about taking a vacation when I'm pregnant; I think it's ludicrous to compare maternity leave with vacation and pregnant women with lazy co-workers. COME ON!! You can say whatever you want, but if it's misogynistic, you should expect me to complain. I know it's harder for a man to be keenly aware of all the subtle injustices women experience. That's why I'm here to help.

Dammit, I was hoping for a much more angry response.

And I haven't implied a single misogynistic thing in this thread. I'm all for actual equality. Not that weird sort of "equality" where women get a bunch of special concessions that feminists apparently think is "equality".

 

[ellepharm]

Wait until you are done and have secured a job.

 

[SHC1984]

Dammit, I was hoping for a much more angry response.

And I haven't implied a single misogynistic thing in this thread. I'm all for actual equality. Not that weird sort of "equality" where women get a bunch of special concessions that feminists apparently think is "equality".

The United States feels "guilty" about treating woman and underrepresented minorities "unfair" in the past. So now the United States feel the need to give women and minorities "programs/things" that will make up for their unfair past. Yeah, of course its NOT fair and most definetly NOT equal, but its just a way to "make up" for the past and a way for the USA to feel less guilty.

Its like if someone accidently do something to you to made you upset, that person will feel guilty and try to make it up to you later. Same deal.

 

[FarscapeGirl]

The United States feels "guilty" about treating woman and underrepresented minorities "unfair" in the past. So now the United States feel the need to give women and minorities "programs/things" that will make up for their unfair past. Yeah, of course its NOT fair and most definetly NOT equal, but its just a way to "make up" for the past and a way for the USA to feel less guilty.

Its like if someone accidently do something to you to made you upset, that person will feel guilty and try to make it up to you later. Same deal.

Examples of this, please?

Seriously, other developed nations realize kids do best when they're with their parents during the early parts of their lives. In Europe, most countries have extended maternity leaves for mothers, and I believe good paternity leave as well.

It's almost impossible to find childcare for a baby that's younger than 6 weeks and still hard to find it for babies, period.

As long as a company offers both maternity leave and paternity leave, as well as options for people to take care of sick family members, that's equality to me. Instead of giving men a hard time for taking off more than a week or two, they should also get the three months off to care for their kids. Then, they won't think women get a 'vacation' when they're off on maternity leave. It's about as much a vacation as going to a funeral is. It's not as sad, obviously, but a new kid can be just as jarring mentally as the loss of a family member.

 

[VancTheTank]

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