what year to get pregnant

[grizzlesgrizzlies]

judging from what i've read... wvu looks like u have a protoge lol

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[njac]

just to clairfy - I am a girl.

I am totally willing to help friends out, no matter what is going on with their lives. But the vast majority of pregnant women I have had to deal with in the recent past acted like they were the first of the species to ever experience this phenomena. That is what I have an issue with. I can see some physical limitations, etc, at 6 months, but if you just found out you are a whole 6 weeks along, I don't want to hear about it.

 

[njac]

NSFW - but awesome

 

[WVUPharm2007]

your link ****ing got censored.

 

[njac]

I saw

 

[PharmPrincess]

I disagree. I won't demean anyone for having a child assuming it doesn't affect me...but proclaiming its something special is just a lie. It's something any idiot can do.

No, no, I understand it. There isn't much to understand. It's all driven by a set of primitive urges that coerce people to have offspring. I actually appear to understand it more than you.

You're not a woman. You wouldn't understand going through labor personally is or even being pregnant. You seem to miss this point. And yes, the driven part, you can understand that because it's mostly the male urges you're talking about. And for women who cannot have kids, trust me, pregnancy would be something special for them (or for any woman that wants a family).

WTF are you talking about. Women have a pain receptors which are less sensitive than men's...that's about it. I suppose that might be a evolutionary thing. If you want to go down that route....women are just lucky they are in an advanced human society where the males of the species with equal intelligence and superior physical strength/speed/agility don't enslave them like in the olden days.

It's thoughts like these that foster the idea that women are perceived less than men in society. Before our society was paternal, it was maternal in every aspect...you may want to go back in history on this...then again, history and religion was always written in a man's perspective. However, this comment about women being lucky in this day in age: They're still not "lucky" if men like you keep thinking like this. Women were repressed by men for the longest time in history and just because we live in a developed nation, doesn't mean that comments or thoughts like these will make it any better or "luckier" for women. And if men were physically superior in every aspect, why wouldn't nature/God have men bear children than women...it would make sense because they are better adapted to the pain...but men aren't, so you need to acknowledge that.

Yes, woman are free to have children. Whatever, I don't care. Someone's rugrat will have to support me when I'm on medicare. And I'll need 24 year olds to gawk at when I'm a dirty old man at age 55. I appreciate the theoretical need for children to exist somewhere. HOWEVER...when that affects me in a negative way, I am well within my rights to complain. For example...when the mother goes on three months of maternity vacation and leaves the pharmacy to be left understaffed...thus making me suffer...

Like ffpickle said, women bear children and if they're in the work force, its something that the employer and employees will have to deal with. Understaff, overstaff or neither, bottom line: you're going have to deal with it and shouldn't bitch about it. Perhaps if you were female you wouldn't feel the need to hate on pregnant women in the workplace, because clearly you make it out that you do.

 

[Farmercyst]

I saw

That's ok, it's easy enough to figure out the link.

 

[WVUPharm2007]

You're not a woman. You wouldn't understand going through labor personally is or even being pregnant. You seem to miss this point. And yes, the driven part, you can understand that because it's mostly the male urges you're talking about. And for women who cannot have kids, trust me, pregnancy would be something special for them (or for any woman that wants a family).

Meh, spare me. I don't buy it. I've never been addicted to heroin, but I have an understanding for whats going on. I'm really trying to see what you're getting at, but I'm drawing a blank. My wife isn't like that...at all. Really what you're saying is that "I'm a woman...and apparently the desire to procreate makes me crazy...and a certain type of crazy that you wouldn't understand...because you aren't crazy." Just...no...doesn't work like that.

It's thoughts like these that foster the idea that women are perceived less than men in society. Before our society was paternal, it was maternal in every aspect...you may want to go back in history on this...then again, history and religion was always written in a man's perspective. However, this comment about women being lucky in this day in age: They're still not "lucky" if men like you keep thinking like this

Are you kidding me? I say **** like this all the time because it pisses feminists off. A pissed off feminist is the funniest thing ever.

And if men were physically superior in every aspect, why wouldn't nature/God have men bear children than women...it would make sense because they are better adapted to the pain...but men aren't, so you need to acknowledge that.

Well, the theory is that men are like that because they are the better hunter/gatherers. It's all about adaptivity. After a few million years of evolution, I'd imagine women would be more apt to have children. Especially given the situation with them having that uterus and such. But what the hell does this have to do with women being better than men or being able to "understand" more. That's such ridiculous logic.

Like ffpickle said, women bear children and if they're in the work force, its something that the employer and employees will have to deal with. Understaff, overstaff or neither, bottom line: you're going have to deal with it and shouldn't bitch about it. Perhaps if you were female you wouldn't feel the need to hate on pregnant women in the workplace, because clearly you make it out that you do.

See, that's just it. Typical woman feminist logic. You want your cake and to eat it too. You're all about equality and being able to have your way UNTIL it inconveniences you in some damn way. Women want equality, yet I'm expect to open doors for them and be a ****in' "gentlemen". **** that. One or the other ladies. Women need to be subject to being drafted by the military. Women need to stop complaining about the damn toilet seat being left up. Women need to stop getting minority scholarships...they've already surpassed men due to the social changes they've caused in the educational system. Women need to stop ALWAYS getting the house after a divorce. Women need to stop ALWAYS getting custody after a divorce. Why is that a woman can chose to not have a baby, but a man has no choice about supporting one....if it happens...the woman has control over than man's income for 18 years, yet, unlike the woman, he is powerless to decide if he wants to support the child? And WHY THE **** DO I NEVER, EVER E V E R hear a women say "hey, maybe we should examine some of the rights we get because of Victorian society back in 18-dickity-do that are unfavorable to men?" ****ing cake. Eating it. Enjoying it. Where the hell is the man's cake. Nowhere.

I've got one for you. Guess what. I'm ALL ABOUT equality. Moreso than YOU. As far as I'm concerned, it's about damn time women get careers. Look...if some guy went and got cosmetic surgery, then took leave for three months while we dealt with prn workers from RPH-on-the-Go that have no idea what the hell they are doing, I'd be annoyed as hell. But I'd deal with it because, hey, what can I do. And if he did it like three times within the course of 5 years? I'd be pissed...but, again, I'd just deal with it because, hey, what can I do. And in this vein...because I'm all about equality...the same goes for pregnancy. Because it's basically glorified cosmetic surgery. And you're doing it to yourself. It's not something that "happens". But even at that...like I said...it's your right to procreate....however it's NOT your right to say that I don't get to be annoyed by the hypothetical women that abandon their coworkers for months.

And that's where your logic hits a giant wall the size of Priapism321's ego. What you are saying here is that I don't even have the RIGHT to be annoyed. I'm sorry...but who the tap-dancing, emo-kid tossing, bowling pin shining, catnip sniffing, Questlove kissing, Coke Zero® chugging Christ do you think you are? The new thought police? Do 1 and 1 make 3 all of a sudden up in this? No. I'll get annoyed. And you'll deal with that.

Yes. I'm going to reserve my right to be annoyed.

Like I said...it's your right to have a kid...but you are going to have to accept the fact that it will negatively affect the work environment of your coworkers. Just because it's within the course of you "super-magiKal" pregnancy doesn't mean that its something that automatically gets ignored from of all the potential annoyances that may occur within the course of my life.

 

[FarscapeGirl]

just to clairfy - I am a girl.

I am totally willing to help friends out, no matter what is going on with their lives. But the vast majority of pregnant women I have had to deal with in the recent past acted like they were the first of the species to ever experience this phenomena. That is what I have an issue with. I can see some physical limitations, etc, at 6 months, but if you just found out you are a whole 6 weeks along, I don't want to hear about it.

Maybe it's just the people I'm surrounded by, but my friends and colleagues that have had children are relatively sane about it. They would bring up their pregnancy every once in awhile, but it didn't affect their lives too much. They just went about their normal work and lives. My one friend didn't even tell anyone until she was in her second trimester, due to the risk of miscarriage. Even now that these women have had their children, you almost have to ask them how their children are. And they still try to have lives of their own, at least to some extent.

The only thing that was a pain, which I brought up earlier, was one woman who was a bit scared of everything that was a potential risk. But she also had the hardest pregnancy, and it took her awhile to get pregnant, so it's a bit understandable.

Maybe it helped that all my friends are working or in grad school and continued to work after they had their babies. Their lives weren't just their baby and their partners, so it was easier for them to talk about something besides the pregnancy and then the baby.

 

[FarscapeGirl]

Meh, spare me. I don't buy it. I've never been addicted to heroin, but I have an understanding for whats going on. I'm really trying to see what you're getting at, but I'm drawing a blank. My wife isn't like that...at all. Really what you're saying is that "I'm a woman...and apparently the desire to procreate makes me crazy...and a certain type of crazy that you wouldn't understand...because you aren't crazy." Just...no...doesn't work like that.



Are you kidding me? I say **** like this all the time because it pisses feminists off. A pissed off feminist is the funniest thing ever.




Well, the theory is that men are like that because they are the better hunter/gatherers. It's all about adaptivity. After a few million years of evolution, I'd imagine women would be more apt to have children. Especially given the situation with them having that uterus and such. But what the hell does this have to do with women being better than men or being able to "understand" more. That's such ridiculous logic.





See, that's just it. Typical woman feminist logic. You want your cake and to eat it too. You're all about equality and being able to have your way UNTIL it inconveniences you in some damn way. Women want equality, yet I'm expect to open doors for them and be a ****in' "gentlemen". **** that. One of the other ladies. Women need to be subject to being drafted by the military. Women need to stop complaining about the damn toilet seat being left up. Women need to stop getting minority scholarships...they've already surpassed men due to the social changes they've caused in the educational system. Women need to stop ALWAYS getting the house after a divorce. Women need to stop ALWAYS getting custody after a divorce. Why is that a woman can chose to not have a baby, but a man has no choice about supporting one....if it happen...the woman has control over than man's income for 18 years, yet, unlike the woman, he is powerless to decide if he want to support the child? And WHY THE **** DO I NEVER, EVER E V E R hear a women say "hey, maybe we should examine some of the rights we get because of Victorian society back in 18-dickity-do that are unfavorable to men?" ****ing cake. Eating it. Enjoying it. Where the hell is the man's cake. Nowhere.

I've got one for you. Guess what. I'm ALL ABOUT equality. Moreso than YOU. As far as I'm concerned, it's about damn time women get careers. Look...if some guy went and got cosmetic surgery, then took leave for three months while we dealt with prn workers from RPH-on-the-Go that have no idea what the hell they are doing, I'd be annoyed as hell. But I'd deal with it because, hey, what can I do. And if he did it like three times within the course of 5 years? I'd be pissed...but, again, I'd just deal with it because, hey, what can I do. And in this vein...because I'm all about equality...the same goes for pregnancy. Because it's basically glorified cosmetic surgery. And you're doing it to yourself. It's not something that "happens". But even at that...like I said...it's your right to procreate....however it's NOT your right to say that I don't get to be annoyed by the hypothetical women that abandon their coworkers for months.

And that's where your logic hits a giant wall the size of Priapism321's ego. What you are saying here is that I don't even have the RIGHT to be annoyed. I'm sorry...but who the tap-dancing, emo-kid tossing, bowling pin shining, catnip sniffing, Questlove kissing, Coke Zero® chugging Christ do you think you are? The new thought police? Do 1 and 1 make 3 all of a sudden up in this? No. I'll get annoyed. And you'll deal with that.

Yes. I'm going to reserve my right to be annoyed.

Like I said...it's your right to have a kid...but you are going to have to accept the fact that it will negatively affect the work environment of your coworkers. Just because it's within the course of you "super-magiKal" pregnancy doesn't mean that its something that automatically gets ignored from of all the potential annoyances that may occur within the course of my life.

So I'll agree with you that there are inequalities that affect both men and women in our society. As the child of divorced parents that would have had a way easier time with her father but was placed with her mother, I definitely agree. And I do have issues with men being forced to care for children, especially in truly horrible situations where the woman 'stole' the man's sperm or the court forces a man to pay child support for a child that's not biologically his.

But I digress. I'm curious how you propose people have children in pharmacy or careers like it. I find it worrying at times that the seemingly less intelligent breed like rabbits, but those that could most support a kid financially and mentally have a rough and difficult time figuring out how to have it without interrupting their careers.

A newborn baby is rough to care for. It takes time to get used to it, and most daycares won't take babies less than 6 weeks anyway. I know a few women who went back to work after one month, but that was because they had a friend or relative who could look after the baby. Personally, I'd love to give birth to a potty-trained, talking three-year old, but I don't think my back would take it. And adoption, like I've said earlier, can be rough. I know of several parents who had tough times with adoption, both the process itself and the raising of the kids. All kids can be difficult, but these issues I saw really stemmed from directly from being adopted.

And, just to verify, you'd be upset if a male colleague took off for three months of paternity leave, too? Would you be upset if the mother returned to the office part time, or was there full-time but had to take more breaks to pump breast milk?

I'm just curious how you propose to solve this problem of how to have children and take care of them, especially in our society where extended family often live far away. While there are too many people on the Earth, we still need babies to be born, and I would like them to have stable lives if possible. Parents who are pharmacists have a pretty good likelihood of providing stable lives.

 

[sakigt]

I addressed this already. Temp help is useless. Especially in hospital pharmacy where there are VAST differences from institution to institution in what the job entails, protocols, physician prescribing habits, etc. The proprietariarity of it boggles the mind when I stop and think about it. And you think just hiring a per diem will magically solve it all? Make no mistake about it. When you leave for 3 months, your coworkers WILL suffer because of it. People just never think about it because child birth is given such a high level of importance in our culture.

Also, is proprietariarity a word? If not, it is now.

To put it as clearly as possible, I really dont care. I have a life outside my job and if my coworkers suffer b/c I take a sick day or vacation or use the leave to care for my sick mother or have a baby - its too bad.

I have this view because when its on the flipside and I have to work my ass off to cover when theyre gone, I do work. Just last week I had to do the work of 3 people because people were gone. Yes it sucked but the payoff is that when its my turn to get out of the place for a while I wont feel guilty.

Youre placing an unrealistic expectation on people. And if its your boss placing these expectations on you, the institution is at fault. If procedures are so complicated a temp cant come in and do a job well enough, they should be examined. Of course it wont be as perfect as when youre at full staff, but as long as the job gets done its all that matters.

 

[WVUPharm2007]

To put it as clearly as possible, I really dont care. I have a life outside my job and if my coworkers suffer b/c I take a sick day or vacation or use the leave to care for my sick mother or have a baby - its too bad.

I have this view because when its on the flipside and I have to work my ass off to cover when theyre gone, I do work. Just last week I had to do the work of 3 people because people were gone. Yes it sucked but the payoff is that when its my turn to get out of the place for a while I wont feel guilty.

When the hell did I say people can't have children? I'm just saying its annoying and I reserve the right to be annoyed by it.

Youre placing an unrealistic expectation on people. And if its your boss placing these expectations on you, the institution is at fault. If procedures are so complicated a temp cant come in and do a job well enough, they should be examined. Of course it wont be as perfect as when youre at full staff, but as long as the job gets done its all that matters.

lmoa....ok...get into the real world as a staffer at a hospital and tell me what you just typed meshes with reality.

 

[WVUPharm2007]

But I digress. I'm curious how you propose people have children in pharmacy or careers like it. I find it worrying at times that the seemingly less intelligent breed like rabbits, but those that could most support a kid financially and mentally have a rough and difficult time figuring out how to have it without interrupting their careers.

If they want them they have them. But they have to realize that leaving for 3 months will make the lives of their coworkers more stressful and less enjoyable. It seems that pregnant people think they should be able to stick their heads in the sand and not have to realize this.

And, just to verify, you'd be upset if a male colleague took off for three months of paternity leave, too? Would you be upset if the mother returned to the office part time, or was there full-time but had to take more breaks to pump breast milk?

Yes and it's better than taking off for 3 months due to an elective medical procedure.

I'm just curious how you propose to solve this problem of how to have children and take care of them, especially in our society where extended family often live far away. While there are too many people on the Earth, we still need babies to be born, and I would like them to have stable lives if possible. Parents who are pharmacists have a pretty good likelihood of providing stable lives.

Nobody is forcing anyone to have or not have children. I'm not "proposing" anything. I'm just saying that having a coworker that elects to have children is someone I'd rather not be on my staff. Jesus...you people...

 

[ATPase2]

A a mother of two I would suggest to wait until you are done with school.

It is hard and demanding to be a full time student and mother.
BUT it is doable, make sure that you have a great support system - you will be busy, very busy. My hubby totally supports me, I have a babysitter, and also granparent to help out with sick days. The harderst part will be focusing on studying when you want to spend time with kids.

As for the haters of pregnat women -sorry for your experience, but I do not understand why you are writing long useless messages people are responsible for their own lives and they will make their decisions regardless to what a some imature RPh thinks...Do not bother answering this one - I wil not be back to this thread

 

[SHC1984]

What year to get pregnant?

When you are finished with school, with a stable career, making six figures, have a husband that makes more than yourself, and have no debt.

If you are broke don't have kids, they are kids not cattle.

 

[SHC1984]

So I'll agree with you that there are inequalities that affect both men and women in our society. As the child of divorced parents that would have had a way easier time with her father but was placed with her mother, I definitely agree. And I do have issues with men being forced to care for children, especially in truly horrible situations where the woman 'stole' the man's sperm or the court forces a man to pay child support for a child that's not biologically his.

But I digress. I'm curious how you propose people have children in pharmacy or careers like it. I find it worrying at times that the seemingly less intelligent breed like rabbits, but those that could most support a kid financially and mentally have a rough and difficult time figuring out how to have it without interrupting their careers.

A newborn baby is rough to care for. It takes time to get used to it, and most daycares won't take babies less than 6 weeks anyway. I know a few women who went back to work after one month, but that was because they had a friend or relative who could look after the baby. Personally, I'd love to give birth to a potty-trained, talking three-year old, but I don't think my back would take it. And adoption, like I've said earlier, can be rough. I know of several parents who had tough times with adoption, both the process itself and the raising of the kids. All kids can be difficult, but these issues I saw really stemmed from directly from being adopted.

And, just to verify, you'd be upset if a male colleague took off for three months of paternity leave, too? Would you be upset if the mother returned to the office part time, or was there full-time but had to take more breaks to pump breast milk?

I'm just curious how you propose to solve this problem of how to have children and take care of them, especially in our society where extended family often live far away. While there are too many people on the Earth, we still need babies to be born, and I would like them to have stable lives if possible. Parents who are pharmacists have a pretty good likelihood of providing stable lives.

Easy solution: Marry a guy that makes enough money so that you DO NOT have to go back to work when you have a child. Why would anyone want to go back to the workforce after having children? I sure don't. And I won't consider marrying much less having a child with someone that can't fully support me.

 

[npage148]

Easy solution: Marry a guy that makes enough money so that you DO NOT have to go back to work when you have a child. Why would anyone want to go back to the workforce after having children? I sure don't. And I won't consider marrying much less having a child with someone that can't fully support me.

Then why even waste all your time in school? You should spend it finding a man that will support you instead of educating yourself

 

[FarscapeGirl]

Easy solution: Marry a guy that makes enough money so that you DO NOT have to go back to work when you have a child. Why would anyone want to go back to the workforce after having children? I sure don't. And I won't consider marrying much less having a child with someone that can't fully support me.

It can be a very lonely existence being a stay-at-home mom for the rest of your life. Especially when the kid gets older. What exactly are you going to do when that child you have is a teenager and barely needs you? Or when they're in college and don't need you at all?

If all you want to do is marry someone rich and then not work the rest of your life, don't bother with pharmacy school. Go work at a lawyer's/CEO's/heart surgeon's office as a secretary, flirt a lot, and wear short skirts. Why spend all that money to be in debt if you plan to work about as many years as you've been in pharmacy school?

 

[PharmDstudent]

Being a SAHM? Hmmm.... why the effff would I marry a guy who had the impression that he was going to have to support me?


It gets me off knowing that I'll be able to support myself 100%, and spoiling others is/will be my forte'.

"You need me to pick up that tab? Sure. $XXX is a drop in the bucket. Now lets go do _____ (cause that's what I want to do)."

But then after that, I'd go work my tushie off to make sure that I could do it all over again.

I love having freedom, independence, and a sense of power. Guess that makes me different???

 

[psi1989]

Then why even waste all your time in school? You should spend it finding a man that will support you instead of educating yourself

+1, SHC is a gold digger..just look at all of her comments about leeching off of men if given the chance. lol

 

[tootoo30]

Being a SAHM? Hmmm.... why the effff would I marry a guy who had the impression that he was going to have to support me?


It gets me off knowing that I'll be able to support myself 100%, and spoiling others is/will be my forte'.

"You need me to pick up that tab? Sure. $XXX is a drop in the bucket. Now lets go do _____ (cause that's what I want to do)."

But then after that, I'd go work my tushie off to make sure that I could do it all over again.

I love having freedom, independence, and a sense of power. Guess that makes me different???

My thoughts exactly I love knowing I can go into a store and pickup whatever I want, why, because it's my damn money LOL

 

[SpirivaSunrise]

I swear to god, when I'm a director, I'm only hiring men, hermaphrodites, women that are sterile, post-menopausal women, and women who hate children like they hate men that leave the toilet seat up.

So...no...pregnant women get nothing from me. They are annoying. They slow down pharmacy practice and make other peoples' lives harder because they want a baby. The exception are the type that work until the pregnancy, have the thing, then come back like a week later. I'd be cool with that. They don't screw up everyone else's world for months. And, yes, I know I'm an "*******" and my opinions are "abrasive"...we've established that.

Haha...Dude. You're really going to have to lay off of this if you're serious about DOP.

 

[SHC1984]

Then why even waste all your time in school? You should spend it finding a man that will support you instead of educating yourself

b/c I want the ability to make 50k working 2 days a week. I don't mind working but would want a husband that can pay for everything that way all my money is MY MONEY. Meaning I can use the money to do what I really want to do.

 

[npage148]

b/c I want the ability to make 50k working 2 days a week. I don't mind working but would want a husband that can pay for everything that way all my money is MY MONEY. Meaning I can use the money to do what I really want to do.

wowie kablowy. I pity your future husband with you hording your money in a super secret bank account while he works full time to support your lamprey-like ways. I'm sure you will also want 1/2 of his money when you divorce him becasue you are ready for someone new. I'm sure once you pop our several kids you will NEVER have an intention in going back to work, so don't make up some excuse about how you are going to work part time. No company will want you either.

When my wife and I got married, we consolidated into one bank account and all of our money goes through it. There would be serious issues if I caught her hiding her money

 

[SHC1984]

It can be a very lonely existence being a stay-at-home mom for the rest of your life. Especially when the kid gets older. What exactly are you going to do when that child you have is a teenager and barely needs you? Or when they're in college and don't need you at all?

If all you want to do is marry someone rich and then not work the rest of your life, don't bother with pharmacy school. Go work at a lawyer's/CEO's/heart surgeon's office as a secretary, flirt a lot, and wear short skirts. Why spend all that money to be in debt if you plan to work about as many years as you've been in pharmacy school?

It is best to stay at home with your child until they are 18. My parents didn't get me a car until I was 18. My mom drove me around to all the places I needed to go when I was a teenager. If I had a teenager I will be watching him/her like a hawk to make sure they are on the right track, making the right friends, making the best grades, getting into the best colleges, and not getting into trouble. I know there are parents out there that don't give a damn about their kids. They will let their 16 year old go out and come back whenever they please and make friends with druggies. Well thats not going to happen to any of my kids. They will be raised right and be a million times more a successful then me.

I agree with WVUPharm2007, pregnant women that leave and expect to come back in a few months are very annoying. They are selfish b/c they don't care about all the trouble they are causing other people. I would rather work a few years, have a child and let the pharmacy know that I will NOT be coming back so they can just go ahead and hire someone new. Then after 18 or 19 years, I might go back to work part-time or not. Thats a long time from now not sure what I will do. But its always good to have the option of working part-time (2 days a week) and making 50K a year. Not too shabby.

 

[SHC1984]

wowie kablowy. I pity your future husband with you hording your money in a super secret bank account while he works full time to support your lamprey-like ways. I'm sure you will also want 1/2 of his money when you divorce him becasue you are ready for someone new. I'm sure once you pop our several kids you will NEVER have an intention in going back to work, so don't make up some excuse about how you are going to work part time. No company will want you either.

When my wife and I got married, we consolidated into one bank account and all of our money goes through it. There would be serious issues if I caught her hiding her money

You are the type of guy that would let your date pay for her own dinner and maybe yours too huh?

So your saying that your wife isn't allow to have her own money? let me guess she has to ask for your permission everytime she goes out too?? thats lame, she is more like a child then a wife.

I don't like asking people for money when I want to buy things for myself, thats why I want a part-time pretty well paying job. I will never ask my husband to give me 2000 dollars for a handbag for example, I will buy that myself. I do expect my husband to pay for the mortage, bills and car payments though.

 

[npage148]

You are the type of guy that would let your date pay for her own dinner and maybe yours too huh?

So your saying that your wife isn't allow to have her own money? let me guess she has to ask for your permission everytime she goes out too?? thats lame, she is more like a child then a wife.

I have no problems paying for a date, it completely unrelated to what I said.

It's OUR money, not mine and hers. That is the commitment of marriage. And why would she need to ask my permission to go out, what does that even have to do with anything? She spends money, I spend money and it all just comes from one account

Would it be acceptable for me to demand my wife pays for everything while I stockpile my income for myself? Of course not!

 

[IrishHammer]

I have no problems paying for a date, it completely unrelated to what I said.

It's OUR money, not mine and hers. That is the commitment of marriage. And why would she need to ask my permission to go out, what does that even have to do with anything? She spends money, I spend money and it all just comes from one account

Would it be acceptable for me to demand my wife pays for everything while I stockpile my income for myself? Of course not!

It's different though because you're a guy (refer back to WVUPharm's rant). Actually, what SHC has described isn't all that farfetched. If I were married to a girl, and she was bringing in income, I would be fine with her keeping whatever of it wasn't used for living expenses as her own. She earned it, after all. I would just also expect the same consideration (i.e. she better not start bitching when she finds out I bought Sabres season tickets).

 

[SHC1984]

I have no problems paying for a date, it completely unrelated to what I said.

It's OUR money, not mine and hers. That is the commitment of marriage. And why would she need to ask my permission to go out, what does that even have to do with anything? She spends money, I spend money and it all just comes from one account

Would it be acceptable for me to demand my wife pays for everything while I stockpile my income for myself? Of course not!

It depends on how much you make VS how much she makes. If a guy makes 250K a year and his wife makes 50K a year than the guy should pay for everything and his wife should be able to use that 50K on things that she wants.
However if a husband makes 50K and the wife makes 50K then you are right, both should be saving up and not spending b/c neither spouse will have anything left after bills!

 

[Carboxide]

It depends on how much you make VS how much she makes. If a guy makes 250K a year and his wife makes 50K a year than the guy should pay for everything and his wife should be able to use that 50K on things that she wants.
However if a husband makes 50K and the wife makes 50K then you are right, both should be saving up and not spending b/c neither spouse will have anything left after bills!

Woooow. You are ridiculous. What happened to the couple budgeting and agreeing how much disposable income they each have to spend? I would never just keep all my money for myself - when you are married, your finances join and you shouldn't spend without disregard for the family. If your husband makes 250k/year and you make 50k/year, then you should each have the same amount of spending money - whether it's 5 dollars a week or 500. The rest goes into savings or towards other things.

You're selfish and a golddigger. There's a huge difference between "asking" for money and budgeting.

 

[npage148]

It depends on how much you make VS how much she makes. If a guy makes 250K a year and his wife makes 50K a year than the guy should pay for everything and his wife should be able to use that 50K on things that she wants.
However if a husband makes 50K and the wife makes 50K then you are right, both should be saving up and not spending b/c neither spouse will have anything left after bills!

Would you ever marry anyone that "only" made 50k a year? Would you work full time and let him stay at home with the children since you have the bigger income as a pharmacist?

and since when is 100k combined so paltry that after bills there would be nothing left?

 

[Transformer]

b/c I want the ability to make 50k working 2 days a week. I don't mind working but would want a husband that can pay for everything that way all my money is MY MONEY. Meaning I can use the money to do what I really want to do.

So, you get 50K all to yourself and does this apply to your husband too? Does he get a specified amount to himself??

Depending on how much "everything" will cost (pending what SHC wants in a house, and standard of living), he might not have 50K to call his OWN money.

In terms of marriage, this whole concept of this is my money and this is your money is disconcerting to me. As someone else has already mentioned, it should be OUR money. Spouses make decisions as a family and in a marriage, it shouldn't be centered around "My My My" or "Me Me Me."

 

[FarscapeGirl]

It is best to stay at home with your child until they are 18. My parents didn't get me a car until I was 18. My mom drove me around to all the places I needed to go when I was a teenager. If I had a teenager I will be watching him/her like a hawk to make sure they are on the right track, making the right friends, making the best grades, getting into the best colleges, and not getting into trouble. I know there are parents out there that don't give a damn about their kids. They will let their 16 year old go out and come back whenever they please and make friends with druggies. Well thats not going to happen to any of my kids. They will be raised right and be a million times more a successful then me.

I agree with WVUPharm2007, pregnant women that leave and expect to come back in a few months are very annoying. They are selfish b/c they don't care about all the trouble they are causing other people. I would rather work a few years, have a child and let the pharmacy know that I will NOT be coming back so they can just go ahead and hire someone new. Then after 18 or 19 years, I might go back to work part-time or not. Thats a long time from now not sure what I will do. But its always good to have the option of working part-time (2 days a week) and making 50K a year. Not too shabby.

You expect to take 18 to 19 YEARS off and then go back to work as a pharmacist? Don't you think the profession may have changed a bit? Just a little?

You might want to wait to make all these decisions until you actually have a husband. Life doesn't exactly always work out the way you plan.

And it's a bit insulting to a lot of people on these boards that if one of your parents didn't stay at home, you were hanging out with druggies and getting low grades. My parents are divorced, both worked, and I never did drugs, drank any alcohol, and got good grades all through high school. My dad was there for me a lot. Just because you work does not mean that you don't care for your kids.

The women I know that want to do well by their kids and who are going into pharmacy are maybe considering working part time while their kids are young. They are not doing it so that they can have a rich husband support them and pay off their loans while they're a stay-at-home mom, with the idea that in 20 years, they'll have a job where they can work part time to support their handbag habit. Of course, this is probably because they live in the real world.

 

[FarscapeGirl]

Would you ever marry anyone that "only" made 50k a year? Would you work full time and let him stay at home with the children since you have the bigger income as a pharmacist?

and since when is 100k combined so paltry that after bills there would be nothing left?

My husband and I have already decided that when we have kids, most likely he'll be taking off work for sick days, snow days, etc. since he's planning on staying in academia and most likely will have the more flexible job. Neither one of us would be happy being permanently at home. I can see this now with our good friend who just graduated with her PhD and hasn't found a job yet. She loves her toddler, but she's ready to not be a stay-at-home mom anymore. My husband and I would be the same.

People in academia don't often make a lot, but, surprisingly, I still love my husband and plan to stay with him, even though MOST LIKELY HE WILL MAKE LESS MONEY. Wow. Amazing, I know. But marriage is a partnership, and there are plenty of ways we can spoil each other without money being involved. And it's OUR money, even though we've been too lazy to put it all in one account at the moment. Whoever has the money, that's the one that pays.

 

[Athrok]

You are the type of guy that would let your date pay for her own dinner and maybe yours too huh?

So your saying that your wife isn't allow to have her own money? let me guess she has to ask for your permission everytime she goes out too?? thats lame, she is more like a child then a wife.

I don't like asking people for money when I want to buy things for myself, thats why I want a part-time pretty well paying job. I will never ask my husband to give me 2000 dollars for a handbag for example, I will buy that myself. I do expect my husband to pay for the mortage, bills and car payments though.

I go through a lot of trouble to avoid women like this.

Luckily I'm sexy

 

[Momus]

LOL @ SHC1984

Having your mentality is why women will always be expected to bear kids, cook, clean the house and never advance past men.

 

[ffpickle]

LOL @ SHC1984

Having your mentality is why women will always be expected to bear kids, cook, clean the house and never advance past men.

she's my kinda lady

 

[Praziquantel86]

she's my kinda lady

Minus the stealing your hard-earned cash bit.

At least your honest about wanting to be a leech, I just hope you explain this when you're dating someone. They'll know what they're getting into and have no excuses.

 

[ffpickle]

Minus the stealing your hard-earned cash bit.

At least your honest about wanting to be a leech, I just hope you explain this when you're dating someone. They'll know what they're getting into and have no excuses.

haha...nahhh...i just like shallow superficial girls....i'd love to have a trophy wife

 

[PharmDstudent]

haha...nahhh...i just like shallow superficial girls....i'd love to have a trophy wife

Some women are trophies without being thieves.

Wise up!

 

[SHC1984]

Woooow. You are ridiculous. What happened to the couple budgeting and agreeing how much disposable income they each have to spend? I would never just keep all my money for myself - when you are married, your finances join and you shouldn't spend without disregard for the family. If your husband makes 250k/year and you make 50k/year, then you should each have the same amount of spending money - whether it's 5 dollars a week or 500. The rest goes into savings or towards other things.

You're selfish and a golddigger. There's a huge difference between "asking" for money and budgeting.

1) A golddigger would be someone that is planning from Day One to date someone, take ALL their money, and then LEAVE them. I have never say anything about planning to take all of someone's money and then leave them.

2) You are telling me that you combine ALL of your money with your husband?? Maybe its hard to keep ALL your money to yourself, but combining ALL of it would be crazy. You have to keep SOME money to yourself, in a seperate account. I mean what if you want to go to Hawaii for a weekend with your girlfriend? what if you just need some alone time and don't want to be bother? You need some emergency money ALWAYS.

 

[SHC1984]

And most people on here are misunderstanding the term Trophy Wife. Let me explain:

So girls, here it is, we all know that we are smart, ambitious, motivated, and fun, however, if given the choice, or the right rich man, we would allow ourselves to become Trophy Wives. We would not be giving up our goals, because our goals include raising our children, planning charity events, community service, etc... So we might have to have breakfast, lunch, and dinner on the table, and we obviously will find time in our day to do the laundry, while wearing the latest fashion, and we will proudly cart the children around in the sharpest vehicles, but we can somehow allow our husbands to hire a cleaning service... A personal trainer wouldn't be entirely terrible either... And...we don't think this is asking too much, in the name of love =)

 

[SHC1984]

You expect to take 18 to 19 YEARS off and then go back to work as a pharmacist? Don't you think the profession may have changed a bit? Just a little?

You might want to wait to make all these decisions until you actually have a husband. Life doesn't exactly always work out the way you plan.

And it's a bit insulting to a lot of people on these boards that if one of your parents didn't stay at home, you were hanging out with druggies and getting low grades. My parents are divorced, both worked, and I never did drugs, drank any alcohol, and got good grades all through high school. My dad was there for me a lot. Just because you work does not mean that you don't care for your kids.

The women I know that want to do well by their kids and who are going into pharmacy are maybe considering working part time while their kids are young. They are not doing it so that they can have a rich husband support them and pay off their loans while they're a stay-at-home mom, with the idea that in 20 years, they'll have a job where they can work part time to support their handbag habit. Of course, this is probably because they live in the real world.

Tell me about it. I was enaged to a guy from a wealthy family, for a year and five months, but then had to break it off b/c I really can't stand his parents. Then I decided to attend Columbia dental school, never thought I would hate it that much, dropped out and now I am doing pharmacy! I wonder whats next! LOL...

 

[Carboxide]

1) A golddigger would be someone that is planning from Day One to date someone, take ALL their money, and then LEAVE them. I have never say anything about planning to take all of someone's money and then leave them.

2) You are telling me that you combine ALL of your money with your husband?? Maybe its hard to keep ALL your money to yourself, but combining ALL of it would be crazy. You have to keep SOME money to yourself, in a seperate account. I mean what if you want to go to Hawaii for a weekend with your girlfriend? what if you just need some alone time and don't want to be bother? You need some emergency money ALWAYS.

Um, no. A golddigger is someone who values the money someone can provide more than anything else.

And as for part 2...if I wanted to go to Hawaii with a girlfriend, I would talk to my husband and see if WE had the finances to afford it (although I would be more likely to want to go with my husband on a trip like that). I'm not sure at all what you mean by "need alone time and don't want to bother", but if you mean just leaving for a weekend without telling my husband....that's not something I would do. It's not appropriate to just leave, unless you are in a crisis - and in that case, I still have access to the funds - I just choose not to spend OUR money only on myself. If you mean having money to treat myself to something, THAT'S WHAT BUDGETING IS FOR. You can have YOUR money without saying that every cent you earn belongs to you and every cent he earns belongs to the family.

 

[PharmDstudent]

No. That's just a lame fantasy that some women can't get over.

How about the "Honey, where's the bbq sauce for my steak and potatoes?, Have you seen my underwear... you know, the ones with the little holes in them?, Did you wash my clothes yet?"??? That's the reality of being a married golddigger...



No way... no freakin' way! You know what I'd do if a man didn't want to wash his clothes or do his share? Call him out on it and let him suffer cause he knows that it doesn't get any better than this.

Men want a challenge. Remember that! Bending over backwards for a man is a joke...

 

[PharmDstudent]

I've got 3+ bothering me right now, and I don't even know what to do with myself! My girl friend calls them my "trio". (I love her... She's so funny and lovely!)



Anyway... Ladies, you're sitting on a goldmine. Just don't dig for the gold itself, because if they really care for you, then you'll get what you're really seeking in life.

 

[SHC1984]

Um, no. A golddigger is someone who values the money someone can provide more than anything else.

And as for part 2...if I wanted to go to Hawaii with a girlfriend, I would talk to my husband and see if WE had the finances to afford it (although I would be more likely to want to go with my husband on a trip like that). I'm not sure at all what you mean by "need alone time and don't want to bother", but if you mean just leaving for a weekend without telling my husband....that's not something I would do. It's not appropriate to just leave, unless you are in a crisis - and in that case, I still have access to the funds - I just choose not to spend OUR money only on myself. If you mean having money to treat myself to something, THAT'S WHAT BUDGETING IS FOR. You can have YOUR money without saying that every cent you earn belongs to you and every cent he earns belongs to the family.

I mean alone time as in sometimes I just want to go away to a beach, be by myself and read/relax. Yeah there are times when you want to go out with your husband, but there are times when you want to be ALONE or with friends. I mean you should tell your husband that you are going to be gone for the weekend, but having to ask for money and stuff gets really complicated. Thats why I prefer some money on the side.

 

[SHC1984]

I've got 3+ bothering me right now, and I don't even know what to do with myself! My girl friend calls them my "trio". (I love her... She's so funny and lovely!)



Anyway... Ladies, you're sitting on a goldmine. Just don't dig for the gold itself, because if they really care for you, then you'll get what you're really seeking in life.

So you will never cook and do laundry for your husband?

 

[PharmDstudent]

So you will never cook and do laundry for your husband?

I love to cook and clean, actually. Would I do it to make a man happy? Never.

A clean house makes me happy. I'm sure it's appreciated by others, but this is where I live, so it makes me happy to live in a clean place- regardless of "him".

I cook, because it's fun. I made egg salad on Sunday, strawberry cheesecake cupcakes on Monday, and a pizza on Wednesday. But who did I make it for specifically? Me. Others are more than welcome to have what I cook, but I'm not going to cook for them (unless they request something) just because I think it's a nicey, wifey thing to do.

Homemade food is homemade food; it's good. Who cares if it's for "him"? Isn't it sweeter if I share what I cook, because I want to be sweet to you and share with you?


*Sigh* I thought this was obvious to people already?!

 

[WVUPharm2007]

Men want a challenge. Remember that! Bending over backwards for a man is a joke...

That's bull****. There was this girl in pharmacy school I flirted with for months waiting for her to get single...she gets single...I'd always lock eyes with her at lunch..we'd just gaze into each others eyes...it was obvious she liked me...

Anyway, I asked her out like the week after she broke up with her previous boyfriend...she said no because I wasn't as religious as her (lmao...)

I don't play games.

I met my future wife the next week and never looked back.

So my wife then gets a job at the school of pahrmacy a few weeks later...a few weeks into it she goes "...you know your friend? She keeps giving me dirty looks like she hates me.." I never told her that I asked her out or anything. I was like, "nah, really?" Trying to play dumb. So she goes, "Oh yeah? I think she's jealous. Next time we pass her in the hall glance over your shoulder real quick, I GUARANTEE you she'll have her head turned around, staring at us. Sure enough, later that day...I pass her...glance real quick...she's staring at us...jerks her head in another direction like she got her hand caught in the cookie jar. I busted up laughing...

**** cracks me up.

And it's a lesson. We don't "like" a challenge. It's annoying. It's something we get over if we like you enough...I guess...