Stupid calls from nurses

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candycane who said it was corrected quickly? however keep up the good work. all those books you have read are really paying off.
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thanks again jooce. i must say i'm learning allot from you.
 
bell412 said:
candycane who said it was corrected quickly? however keep up the good work. all those books you have read are really paying off.
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1st issue your hero story said 30 min hospital time.... did you forget your story? If I made an assumption, sorry.

2nd issue. Thanks for the compliment, I do read alot and work really hard on my rotations because I want to be a doctor not someone who pretends to know more than doctors.
 
ok candycane i'll come clean. i'm a robot RN that was sent from another planet. this is just a secret so lets keep this between you and me ok. i'm secretly working for the american nurses association and i've been programed to know everything you do. shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh top secret.
 
bell412 said:
ok candycane i'll come clean. i'm a robot RN that was sent from another planet. this is just a secret so lets keep this between you and me ok. i'm secretly working for the american nurses association and i've been programed to know everything you do. shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh top secret.
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Now I find myself strangely aroused.
 
bell412 said:
ok candycane i'll come clean. i'm a robot RN that was sent from another planet. this is just a secret so lets keep this between you and me ok. i'm secretly working for the american nurses association and i've been programed to know everything you do. shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh top secret.
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:confused: Just remember drinking and driving is bad :thumbup:
 
Don't forget drinking and flying.
 
I think it's funny that this NURSE is spending so much time in the "general residency issues" forum. FYI bell, CRNA school isn't a residency.

What makes me sad is that we have FP's and pediatricians busting their asses 70 hours/week to make 120K per year while we have NURSES like bell making the same while sitting next to an anesthesia machine for 40 hours (not a second longer) per week.

By the way, bell, you sound HOT! slow, but HOT!
 
I am a nurse, and I can laugh at some of these calls that you get from the floor nurses, but don't assume that every nurse is as dumb, ignorant and uneducated. Some of the comments and attitudes that I read here would get you fired from residency for saying them to nurses, despite what you may think. There were 2 residents fired last year for abusive behavior toward nurses, one was a chief. Even the attendings get reprimanded for abusive behavior, and there is a move to suspend privleges to those with repeated offenses. Last year there was a 3rd year ER resident who decided he could get a nurse in trouble and wrote in the patient's chart that she didnt give the 3rd nebulizer treatment stat and it was given late (it turned out to be 10 minutes after it was ordered). This jackass was suspended and had to hire a lawyer to prevent himself from being fired from residency, weeks from graduation. The hospital sees this type of thing as a point of liability to write something like that in the chart, no matter who is at fault. Needless to say, that wasnt taken lightly.
I work in a busy ED in one of the top 3 largest teaching hospitals on the east coast, so I interact with a lot of residents on a daily basis, and some of them are dumber than dirt, but I dare not say that because of a few bad apples that all of the residents are dumb. I am a nurse because I chose to be, I am not a "doctor wannabe". Most of my best friends are residents, and I have no desire to work the grueling schedule that they do, no matter how much money they will get paid in the end. I give residents all the credit in the world for doing what they do, and its sad to think that many residents dont have mutual respect for nurses. Despite what some of you may think, we do work very hard (well most of us anyway), and we are not all against you trying to make your life hell. I wish there were a period of time in medical school that they made you work as a nurse, believe me you would have a different attitude towards us then. We put up with a lot of crap from everyone, the patients, the doctors, the families..I always joke with the doctors, why dont the annoying demanding patients ever yell out "Doctor" 50 times in a row, why are they always yellling "Nurse"? Because they see it as acceptable to abuse us, and when they witness the same being done by doctors, you are setting the example for a hostile working environment.
The residents and attendings that work with me on a regular basis know that when I call you and tell you to get your butt over here and see this patient NOW, that they should heed my advice or it will come back to bite you in the ass. Every time I have had an occasion like that and the doctor blew me off and didnt see the patient, something happened to the patient and they wound up getting reprimanded by someone and sent to meet with the nice QI people. Maybe I'm wrong and the patient is OK, but since you came over and saw the patient now we both covered our butts. If you see the patient and tell me all is well, I am satisfied. I know you are smart and I trust your judgement (well most of you anyway), I did what I was supposed to do, and so did you.
Smart/Experienced nurses know when they should page and yes there are some who will page you for ridiculous reasons just to be a PIA, but we dont all do that. I am not going to page you from the ED if I dont have to, like to give the septic gomer recent admitted to you tylenol for the 104 fever he has. I know you have been here for 24 hours already and you are busy, and I know I will see you in the next 15 minutes anyway, and you can write for the tylenol then. Dont think that I havent noticed that you are down here again this hour to see the next 5 trainwrecks admitted to you, right after you ran to the floor to run a code, and then came back to the ED to finish what you were doing before that all started. Dont worry, that family member who is a pain in the ass who is looking for you to bitch to you about some BS that you dont have time for, I will cover for you and not reveal your identity even though you are standing right there. Hey ER resident, almost your entire workup will be done before you even pick up the patient. Bloods, ekg, x-ray guess what..Ill even do your guiac for you. How's that? However, if I know the doc is going to be nasty to me and has a permanant stick up his/her ass, then they can do all thier crap themselves. Thank god that rarely happens, I dont really have time in my busy ED to play games like that.
Whoever said that nurses are not required to know about the human body or only have a 2 year degree is sadly mistaken. Most of us nowadays have at least a 4 year degree, and many nurses are 2nd career people who have masters or bachelors degrees in other fields. No, I did not take gross anatomy lab, but I did take 3 years of the same pre-med science classes plus a second anatomy class before the nursing program. No I did not go to medical school, but my input about what is going on with the patient is valuable, I have seen this thing many times before, and maybe I have a clue what is going on.
Despite what you all may think, I am not against you. I am not trying to make your call a living hell by paging you to tell you that your patient isnt doing well, or because I need some morphine for your patient that is screaming in pain. You know what, I may be in the minority here, but I like working with doctors, and especially the residents. I have a good working relationship with them, and have had many tell me that they trust my judgement and enjoy working with me. All in all, we make a good team. Out of the scores that I have worked with, I have only had a run in with 2. Both of them now I get along with well, because they had a chance to get to know me better and know how I work, as well as saving thier butts on a few occasions! When the attendings and residents bring thier family members into the ER, who do you think they want to take care of them? The fact that the attendings and residents want me to care for thier family members shows me that there are doctors that have respect for me and what I do, and they trust that I know what I am doing. Keep up the good work, I respect what you do, and I wish that more of you would respect what I do. I want to work with you, not against you. Have some respect for us and what we do, we really can work well together and make our working day easier if we just helped each other out.
 
Imagine916. Thank you for the productive MATURE input. It will be interesting to see how many can actually acknowledge it as such. :D

Katee
 
Katee80 said:
Imagine916. Thank you for the productive MATURE input. It will be interesting to see how many can actually acknowledge it as such. :D

Katee
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Too many words. Insert paragraph breaks/cut-down on verbosity. Then maybe I'll read it.

-Skip
 
sorry ribcrackinWOC i gotta harry back. i'm a dude. poor bastard. all those visuals you had this am.
 
imagin916 said:
I am a nurse, and I can laugh at some of these calls that you get from the floor nurses, but don't assume that every nurse is as dumb, ignorant and uneducated. Some of the comments and attitudes that I read here would get you fired from residency for saying them to nurses, despite what you may think. There were 2 residents fired last year for abusive behavior toward nurses, one was a chief. Even the attendings get reprimanded for abusive behavior, and there is a move to suspend privleges to those with repeated offenses. Last year there was a 3rd year ER resident who decided he could get a nurse in trouble and wrote in the patient's chart that she didnt give the 3rd nebulizer treatment stat and it was given late (it turned out to be 10 minutes after it was ordered). This jackass was suspended and had to hire a lawyer to prevent himself from being fired from residency, weeks from graduation. The hospital sees this type of thing as a point of liability to write something like that in the chart, no matter who is at fault. Needless to say, that wasnt taken lightly.
I work in a busy ED in one of the top 3 largest teaching hospitals on the east coast, so I interact with a lot of residents on a daily basis, and some of them are dumber than dirt, but I dare not say that because of a few bad apples that all of the residents are dumb. I am a nurse because I chose to be, I am not a "doctor wannabe". Most of my best friends are residents, and I have no desire to work the grueling schedule that they do, no matter how much money they will get paid in the end. I give residents all the credit in the world for doing what they do, and its sad to think that many residents dont have mutual respect for nurses. Despite what some of you may think, we do work very hard (well most of us anyway), and we are not all against you trying to make your life hell. I wish there were a period of time in medical school that they made you work as a nurse, believe me you would have a different attitude towards us then. We put up with a lot of crap from everyone, the patients, the doctors, the families..I always joke with the doctors, why dont the annoying demanding patients ever yell out "Doctor" 50 times in a row, why are they always yellling "Nurse"? Because they see it as acceptable to abuse us, and when they witness the same being done by doctors, you are setting the example for a hostile working environment.
The residents and attendings that work with me on a regular basis know that when I call you and tell you to get your butt over here and see this patient NOW, that they should heed my advice or it will come back to bite you in the ass. Every time I have had an occasion like that and the doctor blew me off and didnt see the patient, something happened to the patient and they wound up getting reprimanded by someone and sent to meet with the nice QI people. Maybe I'm wrong and the patient is OK, but since you came over and saw the patient now we both covered our butts. If you see the patient and tell me all is well, I am satisfied. I know you are smart and I trust your judgement (well most of you anyway), I did what I was supposed to do, and so did you.
Smart/Experienced nurses know when they should page and yes there are some who will page you for ridiculous reasons just to be a PIA, but we dont all do that. I am not going to page you from the ED if I dont have to, like to give the septic gomer recent admitted to you tylenol for the 104 fever he has. I know you have been here for 24 hours already and you are busy, and I know I will see you in the next 15 minutes anyway, and you can write for the tylenol then. Dont think that I havent noticed that you are down here again this hour to see the next 5 trainwrecks admitted to you, right after you ran to the floor to run a code, and then came back to the ED to finish what you were doing before that all started. Dont worry, that family member who is a pain in the ass who is looking for you to bitch to you about some BS that you dont have time for, I will cover for you and not reveal your identity even though you are standing right there. Hey ER resident, almost your entire workup will be done before you even pick up the patient. Bloods, ekg, x-ray guess what..Ill even do your guiac for you. How's that? However, if I know the doc is going to be nasty to me and has a permanant stick up his/her ass, then they can do all thier crap themselves. Thank god that rarely happens, I dont really have time in my busy ED to play games like that.
Whoever said that nurses are not required to know about the human body or only have a 2 year degree is sadly mistaken. Most of us nowadays have at least a 4 year degree, and many nurses are 2nd career people who have masters or bachelors degrees in other fields. No, I did not take gross anatomy lab, but I did take 3 years of the same pre-med science classes plus a second anatomy class before the nursing program. No I did not go to medical school, but my input about what is going on with the patient is valuable, I have seen this thing many times before, and maybe I have a clue what is going on.
Despite what you all may think, I am not against you. I am not trying to make your call a living hell by paging you to tell you that your patient isnt doing well, or because I need some morphine for your patient that is screaming in pain. You know what, I may be in the minority here, but I like working with doctors, and especially the residents. I have a good working relationship with them, and have had many tell me that they trust my judgement and enjoy working with me. All in all, we make a good team. Out of the scores that I have worked with, I have only had a run in with 2. Both of them now I get along with well, because they had a chance to get to know me better and know how I work, as well as saving thier butts on a few occasions! When the attendings and residents bring thier family members into the ER, who do you think they want to take care of them? The fact that the attendings and residents want me to care for thier family members shows me that there are doctors that have respect for me and what I do, and they trust that I know what I am doing. Keep up the good work, I respect what you do, and I wish that more of you would respect what I do. I want to work with you, not against you. Have some respect for us and what we do, we really can work well together and make our working day easier if we just helped each other out.
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Well said. . .I thank God for nurses like you! :clap: :love:

Hopefully bell412 over here can learn a thing or 2 from you.
 
Imagine916- Thank you for your post! I honestly wish that there were more nurses like you. In my limited experience, ER, Trauma, and ICU rn's have been the greatest to work with! I trust your decisions and appreciate your suggestions and willingness to teach. However, I find that very few floor nurses are the same way. Where I am right now, those rn's are most often the newest, the ones who don't speak english as well, and often don't stick around for very long. The good ones get more training or get transferred to a better ward or unit. There will forever be some tension between rn's and md's. In the meantime, I am truly grateful for nurses like you and hope that the incentives to go into nursing will encourage more people like you to become a nurse.

But as far as this thread - I find it to be a great comical relief. If you love your job, you have to be able to laugh at it, including your self.
 
While Carrying the pain service pager last night:

RN: Doctor, could you come evaluate this patient? He can move his legs, but they're all numb.

-- The patient was s/p bilateral total knee replacements with a working epidural in place.
 
Great post Imagine. I agree. We should all work as a team. Things are done much more efficiently that way, and patients are cared for in a better way when we work as a team.

You gotta admit though, we all gripe about each other. That's what this topic was meant to be... a relief for someone who needed to vent after being overpaged one night.
 
Coming back to a point someone has made here before: Just as there are residents 'dumber than dirt', there is wide variation in the quality of nurses. The good and self-motivated ones tend to cluster in areas like the ED, ICU's, CCU's, OR, cath-lab, flight-nurses, endo-suite, IR etc. The less desireable ones end up on the floors, and while most of the inflammatory posts here are way over the top, there is a kernel of truth to some of them.

I have worked in a unionized hospital were the RN's spent 90% of their time sitting at the nursing station, stuffing their ample behinds with donuts writing long convoluted narrative notes in the chart. All of the patient care was performed by 'patient care associates'. If you ever needed something done, it had to wait until the RN could command one of the PCA's to do it. Patient care from the nursing end was p*%&-poor and the nurses received as little respect as they deserved.

The title of the thread just invited inflammatory posts from both sides, stuck-up interns on one and and 'ueber-nurses' on the other. Both are the extremes of their respective spectrum. I am glad that in the day to day affairs of most hospitals I've worked at everybody seems to be closer to the center.
 
f_w said:
I have worked in a unionized hospital were the RN's spent 90% of their time sitting at the nursing station, stuffing their ample behinds with donuts writing long convoluted narrative notes in the chart. All of the patient care was performed by 'patient care associates'. If you ever needed something done, it had to wait until the RN could command one of the PCA's to do it. Patient care from the nursing end was p*%&-poor and the nurses received as little respect as they deserved.
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Any chance that hospital was in Albany??? It's just very descriptive of the time I spent working as a PCA..
 
> Any chance that hospital was in Albany??? It's just very descriptive of
> the time I spent working as a PCA..

Close.

You will find this hospital in a couple of cities. Typically in public ownership and in a 'non-right-to-work' state.
 
boo hoo wocta. sure a monkey can intubate, but the question is can you?
 
imagin916 said:
I am a nurse, and I can laugh at some of these calls that you get from the floor nurses, but don't assume that every nurse is as dumb, ignorant and uneducated. . .
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While I have enjoyed reading this thread for entertainment sake, most of my interactions with nurses fortunately have been with the likes of imagin916. As some one else mentioned, thank you for your mature and productive (if somewhat lengthy) reply. I hope I continue to have the chance to work with nurses like you. It makes everyone's life better (nurse, doctor and most importantly patient) when we work as a team.

Bell912 - you are getting more annoying by the minute. Give it up.
 
Bell is a dude! But I thought you were a nurse. Why would a guy become a nurse?
 
:laugh: :laugh: This is a GREAT thread!
 
ribcrackindoc said:
Bell is a dude! But I thought you were a nurse. Why would a guy become a nurse?
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I don't have a problem with a guy being a nurse. But I have to admit, I fell into the trap of assuming bell was female because (s)he was a nurse. For some strange reason, his posts make more sense now that I know he's a dude.
 
For some strange reason, his posts make more sense now that I know he's a dude.

A dude who is apparently not all that happy with his status as a nurse.
 
bell412 said:
total hospital time 30 min. your right it must have been pontine myelinolysis. Silly me.
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what an idiot! I always say that knowledge is what differentiates technicians from physicians.
 
ribcrackindoc said:
Bell is a dude! But I thought you were a nurse. Why would a guy become a nurse?
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Cracks me up when I see male nurses wearing white pants in the wards and looking all girly.
 
One of the funniest scenes in a movie ever was in "meet the parents" when Dinero (Fockers future father-in-law) introduces Focker to his doctor woctor friends. He says something like "this is Focker, he's a male nurse"
Then Focker replies something like this "you know, they can see that I'm male, you can just say I'm a nurse"

Imagine being an old man in the hospital, all you have to look forward to is some nurse eye candy and maybe getting bathed by a large breasted flirt. Then...in comes a MURSE!!! Time for your sponge bath cutie!!!!!!!!!!! :love:
 
toughlife said:
what an idiot! I always say that knowledge is what differentiates technicians from physicians.
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no toughlife student woc your fellow woc buddies came up with pontine myelinolysis. good ol skippy woc came up with the right answer. go ahead look at his sensational diagnosis.

ok toughlife student woc. whats the poor mans blood gas on a chemistry profile? i'll give you a hint. its not your little dumb**** anion gap. i bet your thinkin oh its gotta be mudpiles. whats m-u-d-p-i-l-e-s stand for toughlife woc?
 
toughlife said:
Cracks me up when I see male nurses wearing white pants in the wards and looking all girly.
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actually tough-woc-life its allot quicker and easier to get laid with your underwear on the outside of your pants. it really eliminates a full step. pull off one item and there will be no time for them to reconsider. your a thinker medical woctor.
 
ribcrackindoc said:
One of the funniest scenes in a movie ever was in "meet the parents" when Dinero (Fockers future father-in-law) introduces Focker to his doctor woctor friends. He says something like "this is Focker, he's a male nurse"
Then Focker replies something like this "you know, they can see that I'm male, you can just say I'm a nurse"

Imagine being an old man in the hospital, all you have to look forward to is some nurse eye candy and maybe getting bathed by a large breasted flirt. Then...in comes a MURSE!!! Time for your sponge bath cutie!!!!!!!!!!! :love:
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i know what you mean ribcrackinwoc. one time we landed the helicopter on scene. there were two criticals (do you know what that means ribcrackinwoc) with GCS < 8. so i looked up what i should do in my little comic book and boom i found it. i quickly gave both of them a bed bath ,shoved a couple of tylenol up there ass and called a cab. another great save by good ol bell the murse. i kinda like murse it makes me feel all fuzzy.
 
Thank you to all who read my post and for the kind responses. Good luck with your residencies, I know you all work very hard and I give you a lot of credit. Its nice to know that most doctors do respect what we nurses do, and are interested in working as a team. :)
 
bell412 said:
boo hoo wocta. sure a monkey can intubate, but the question is can you?
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Um. I'm a 3rd year medstudent and I can intubate. Haven't missed once yet so far (and i've done at least 20). Of course, for this I credit my supervising residents and attendings for their great guidance.

btw. most of my classmates can intubate at this point as well.

So, don't get TOO excited over your "talent", bell412
 
bell412 said:
no toughlife student woc your fellow woc buddies came up with pontine myelinolysis. good ol skippy woc came up with the right answer. go ahead look at his sensational diagnosis.

ok toughlife student woc. whats the poor mans blood gas on a chemistry profile? i'll give you a hint. its not your little dumb**** anion gap. i bet your thinkin oh its gotta be mudpiles. whats m-u-d-p-i-l-e-s stand for toughlife woc?
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OMG ROFL :laugh: :laugh:

Guys, I really don't think he gets it!

Central pontine myelinosis is not the the diagnosis, silly nursey wursey bell! it's a possible consequence of correcting the hyponatremia too quickly that is CRUCIAL to consider before rushing to reverse it like you were gonna do (or did).

And you're gonna be a CRNA?? I fear for your patients. . .
Luckily there will be the MDAs to catch your mistakes.
 
chopper said:
For some strange reason, his posts make more sense now that I know he's a dude.
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I can't picture a dude saying "Doctor Woctor." That's definitely a chick move.
 
chicamedica said:
OMG ROFL :laugh: :laugh:

Guys, I really don't think he gets it!

Central pontine myelinosis is not the the diagnosis, silly nursey wursey bell! it's a possible consequence of correcting the hyponatremia too quickly that is CRUCIAL to consider before rushing to reverse it like you were gonna do (or did).

And you're gonna be a CRNA?? I fear for your patients. . .
Luckily there will be the MDAs to catch your mistakes.
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naw chicawocitia you don't get it. read ol skippies post he got it. see mommie meme gave to much wa wa. do you understand? good job chicawoca you hit the esophagus everytime!!!!
 
For those of you who have written me to complain about a certain user on this thread, I suggest you use the Ignore Function. Since he/she has not violated the SDN TOS at this point, there is nothing to be done short of a warning...unless I get really cranky and decide to heck with the TOS! ;)
 
Hey, what happened to the funny questions and answers that are supposed to be here. You let the murse distract your original intent of the thread...

Some of them were really funny (even to a non med student) some of them...... over my head, and the long drawn out posts by Belle, weren't really worth reading. Almost like someone has been going through a Dx textbook, and reading the signs/symptoms, then saying a Dr. gave the often misDx, and the Murse then gives the correct Dx,

Anyway, what about funny things some patients say while giving a history? I once came across a list that someone was sending around via email, basically listing funny notes, or strange answers to basic questions, anyone have any of those experiences to share?
 
"greg is a male nurse"
 
bell412 said:
naw chicawocitia you don't get it. read ol skippies post he got it. see mommie meme gave to much wa wa. do you understand? good job chicawoca you hit the esophagus everytime!!!!
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LOL is that the best you can do wusey? :laugh:

Sorry to disappoint you, but no goosies here, little one :laugh:
 
bell412 said:
naw chicawocitia you don't get it. read ol skippies post he got it. see mommie meme gave to much wa wa. do you understand? good job chicawoca you hit the esophagus everytime!!!!
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You mean this one??? Ol' skippy is saying the same thing i am, and it was in support of someone else who said the same exact thing i said. I dont' see your point, wusey bell. It's pretty obvious you don't know what the heck we're talking about.

You know why? because you were never taught this thinking or the pathophysiology involved. And the longer this thread gets, the more obviously you're demonstrating this. Keep it comin' wursey!!! :laugh:


Skip Intro said:
Why are you bothering? Isn't it obvious? :laugh:

Besides, I'd really be more interested in knowing why this little patient had such a low sodium to begin with, but that's the kind of thing that interests doctor woctors. The clinical history matters. For example, if it was a rapid crash, then rapid correction would not likely result in CPM. Or, did the little toddler have some sort of pituitary problem. Maybe mommy overloaded the kid with water and this was a dilutional hyponatremia secondary to water intoxication. In that case, fluids would not be indicated but instead diuresis for volume correction. You see? We really didn't get all the information here, did we?

But, of course, these are the sorts of things that doctor woctors concern themselves with, not nursey wurseys.

-Skip
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bell412 said:
naw chicawocitia you don't get it. read ol skippies post he got it. see mommie meme gave to much wa wa. do you understand? good job chicawoca you hit the esophagus everytime!!!!
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LOL...you are the shiznit bell...are you so cocky because you know all us med students just dream that someday we will be as knowledgeable as you, the primo nurse anesthetist?

BTW, how much PSYCH did you learn in your nurse training?


Please keep the posts coming!
 
adamdowannabe said:
Hey, what happened to the funny questions and answers that are supposed to be here. You let the murse distract your original intent of the thread...

Some of them were really funny (even to a non med student) some of them...... over my head, and the long drawn out posts by Belle, weren't really worth reading. Almost like someone has been going through a Dx textbook, and reading the signs/symptoms, then saying a Dr. gave the often misDx, and the Murse then gives the correct Dx,

Anyway, what about funny things some patients say while giving a history? I once came across a list that someone was sending around via email, basically listing funny notes, or strange answers to basic questions, anyone have any of those experiences to share?
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OMG!! yes i do.

I was assigned an alcoholic patient at the VA (not out of the ordinary there). It was a sad situation, but what a funny guy! Now this was a patient with some obvious wernicke-korsakoff symptoms. So when he was admitted he was sober and starting to go through withdrawal. he stayed for like 2 days, then that night pulled out his IV and left AMA. Social work and his family were frantically trying to track him down, finally he showed up later that day at the emergency dept completely drunk, admitted to my team again, but assigned to someone else (we rotated assignments), but i wanted to tag along for a little more continuity of care.

Here are some of his one-liners:

During the first admit (pt sober), i was taking a history (with my resident present)
Me: "Do you smoke?"
Patient: "I did smoke a cigarette once, a LOOOONNNNG time ago. . .but i didn't inhale. But it wasn't like that president, what's his name??????"

2nd admit (pt drunk):
Fellow student: "What your name?"
Patient: "I'm J---, and i'm an alcoholic."

Fellow student: "So, why did you leave?"
Patient: "because I was thirsty!"
(later on rounds, the attending told us we shoulda told him, "well there's plenty of water here at the VA" :laugh: )

Fellow student: "Do you smoke?"
Patient: "I did smoke a cigarette once, a LOOOONNNNG time ago. . .but i didn't inhale. But it wasn't like that president, what's his name??" (SAME EXACT LINE HE TOLD ME!)

well, the poor guy ended up leaving AMA again after a day (i assume cause he was thirsty again), and ended up coming back AGAIN, but the other team was on call.

Oh and each time he came back he would act like he never saw us before. I don't know if that was just cause he was so embarrassed or b/c his short term memory was that shot.
 
chicachicawoccoc that was a great post about your slobbering boozer patient. i could give a flying f--- about pontine myelinolysis and either will you when you get out of EMT school. and i don't beleive you for a second that you didn't blow air into everyone of your patients belly.
 
dear woctors. i'm sorry to say that your moderator has told me that i have been a very very bad murse. i guess that all the woctors are willy willy mad at this bad bad murse. so from now on i will do what i'm told to do just like a good murse should. so from now on for the rest of this thread i will have to respond by saying yes woctor or no woctor. unless by popular demand you ask me to keep trolling for woctors!!!!!!!!

ps - chicachicawocwoc i'm sure there is a murse hotline you can call if you need some support.
 
This thread was hilarious. Bell has to be the funniest poster ever. Let me elaborate:

1) He or She, whatever, cannot spell. First, how do you know what to give a patient that needs intubation if you cannot even read the freakin bottle. Before you do anything else, learn to read and write properly. You know reading is fundamental!
2) " I corrected hyponatremia and saved the grand mal seizure and the referring doctor who called my little helicopter did not know what to do" Give me a break. You couldn't correct my taxes let alone someone's hyponatremia. You just freakin read about it in one of those big ol' CRNA boooks, oh I mean books.
3) " I could have saved the guy with the flail chest if that stupid surgeon had not tried to do the proper thing by the hippocratic oath and helped another person." Why didn't you speak up and tell the doctor this guy needs intubation first? Why didn't you politely say remember your ABC's doctor? I think you are at fault for this, not the doctor. He was doing the humanistic thing by helping. What were you doing? Twiddling your thumbbs, oh I mean thumbs.
4) "I can intubate because I have done it so many times and I won't "goose" anyone". Again, give me a break. You couldn't intubate an anus if it was straight up and glowing green. If you want to stick a tube in something, why don't you go give my patient an enema. Or do you know what that is?
5) "Doctor Woctor." Ok, so when did you turn 5 years old. I don't think the birthday has come yet. I hope you have a good excuse like prior head injury or mild mental ******ation. I would even accept a Na of 85 as an excuse. Na = Sodium to clear that up for you.
6) "Anectine (succinyl choline) is the best for intubation." And my right testicle is bigger than my left. It all depends on the perspective and the situation. If you are going to be pushing gas, you better learn when to use it and what alternatives are available. Good lord, I cannot believe you are going to put people sleep.

I really hope this Bell individual gets a life and learns to treat people with respect. And as far as CRNA goes, I would not let this person put my big toe to sleep let alone a human being. So Bell, I do not wish you good luck with your future endeavors and I feel you should not be in the medical profession whatsoever. The guy that pumps out my septic tank may be a good profession for you--> He uses a big tube, he sometimes sprays a chemical down the tank, his big truck makes a roar just like your little helicopter, and he can't spell to save his life. You would fit right in. PS, I like him and the spelling comment was not directed at him as he does respect people and treats them fairly. Now, go get a freaking life.
 
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