Lied about age...

[Gurl21]

This may seem like a dumb situation, but I met this guy when I was 17 and he was 20. Because I was young and *naive* I lied to him and told him I was 18. I didn't want him to not take me seriously because of my age. (I believe age is just as number, considering I'm two years ahead of other people my age in school). So for the past 2 years, he thought I was a different age. I really have been wanting to come clean to him about this and admit my real age. This feeling is stronger now more than ever because I left a document at his house that has my birthdate on it How should I bring it up, and what kind of reaction should I expect from him? A few of my friends said it's not as big a deal as I'm making it out to be and that people lie about their age all the time. But I need a few more opinions/advice/comments before I go through with my 'confession', lol..

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[MoosePilot]

This may seem like a dumb situation, but I met this guy when I was 17 and he was 20. Because I was young and *naive* I lied to him and told him I was 18. I didn't want him to not take me seriously because of my age. (I believe age is just as number, considering I'm two years ahead of other people my age in school). So for the past 2 years, he thought I was a different age. I really have been wanting to come clean to him about this and admit my real age. This feeling is stronger now more than ever because I left a document at his house that has my birthdate on it How should I bring it up, and what kind of reaction should I expect from him? A few of my friends said it's not as big a deal as I'm making it out to be and that people lie about their age all the time. But I need a few more opinions/advice/comments before I go through with my 'confession', lol..

How certain is he of the age he thinks you are now? Could you just start correcting him and never bring up how he got the mistaken impression?

Him, "Happy 21st birthday!"
You, "Actually, I'm just 20, my 21st isn't until next year."
Him, "Huh?!"
You, "Yeah, how did you get the idea I was 21?"
Him, "Well, we started dating when you were 18 and it's 3 years later!"
You, "Well, we started dating right after my birthday. So I had just turned 18. No biggie."

I don't know, if he's not that clued in, it might work. Otherwise, just come clean. I don't know if he'd care. Tell him you made it up at the time and couldn't figure out how to come clean.

You endangered him legally, which is the crappiest part. You could have gotten him in trouble for statutory, which is truly rotten. Depending on your state, he could have been breaking the law.

 

[TucsonDDS]

How certain is he of the age he thinks you are now? Could you just start correcting him and never bring up how he got the mistaken impression?

Him, "Happy 21st birthday!"
You, "Actually, I'm just 20, my 21st isn't until next year."
Him, "Huh?!"
You, "Yeah, how did you get the idea I was 21?"
Him, "Well, we started dating when you were 18 and it's 3 years later!"
You, "Well, we started dating right after my birthday. So I had just turned 18. No biggie."

I don't know, if he's not that clued in, it might work. Otherwise, just come clean. I don't know if he'd care. Tell him you made it up at the time and couldn't figure out how to come clean.

You endangered him legally, which is the crappiest part. You could have gotten him in trouble for statutory, which is truly rotten. Depending on your state, he could have been breaking the law.

this is exactly what I was thinking. I don't think most guys would think enough about it to worry about it and actually figure it out. I can hardly remember how long I have been married and it would take me a while to figure out how old even I was when I started dating my wife. It just takes too much brain power and I am not willing to give the effort. And I am assuming that the OP wasn't putting him at risk legally because that would be illegal and I am sure she is waiting until she gets married so she can wear a white dress and not dissapoint her grandma. You are waiting aren't you??? Poor Grandma

 

[Gurl21]

Him, "Happy 21st birthday!"
You, "Actually, I'm just 20, my 21st isn't until next year."
Him, "Huh?!"
You, "Yeah, how did you get the idea I was 21?"
Him, "Well, we started dating when you were 18 and it's 3 years later!"
You, "Well, we started dating right after my birthday. So I had just turned 18. No biggie."

LOL! The funny thing is this happened last year.. when he wasn't that clued in about my age ..he thought I was turning 21 because I was a junior in college.. and I didn't have the guts to tell him I was actually turning 19! So I was like "what? i'm turning 20!" So yeah, I corrected him with a lie Wow, I am so embarrassed, this all seems really stupid. So I can't really use that tactic this year, guess I will just have to come forward about it. Are you a guy? Do guys really care about age and would you think a girl is weird if she lied about her age and then told you the truth later?

Oh, as for the legal issue.. don't worry I didn't endanger him because we never did anything illegal

 

[Gurl21]

Any more opinions?

 

[Cuteasaurus]

So you've been dating this guy for 2 years? My initial reaction is that he'll be pretty angry/annoyed/etc. However, I don't think it nec. has to be a "deal-breaker." At this point I don't think there is anyway for you to "convince" him you're a different age (like correcting him on your birthday) without explaining that you told him a lie earlier. Good luck.

 

[lovemydrhubby]

Well, 2 yrs later... I'm not really sure what his reaction would be! That's an awfully long time. Maybe play it off that you were SURE you told him of your "lie" right away. I wouldn't make a huge deal like "honey- I've been lying to you." I think it's a really big deal that you kept something from him this long...but I don't think your confession needs to be huge. Does that make any sense? lol

I definitely think you SHOULD tell him though- and soon. Don't wait any longer and don't wait for him to stumble upon it on his own or during a conversation with others. I really can't think of a good way to approach the topic.

"Funny" story. My husband and I met when I was 17 and he was 20 too. The first night, I told him I was 18 (5 months shy of it), but I did say I was still in H.S. The next night, I confessed.

 

[DieselPetrolGrl]

i dont think he would be with u for 2 yrs unless he loved u
if he loves you he will appreciate your trouble to tell the truth and be accepting of the truth that you were insecure and lied and want to be honest now

 

[Gurl21]

UPDATE:

I told him! And he didn't care! He was like "oh so you lied to me?" and I was like "yeah I did" but I was truly sorry and I think he could tell that, so he let me off the hook easy and reassured me that he wasn't mad so that I wouldnt feel embarrassed . Man it feels sooo good to finally get it off my chest. Thanks to everyone who encouraged me to just spill the beans

 

[DieselPetrolGrl]

yay! told you so !

 

[Gurl21]

yay! told you so !

thanks!

 

[JAMMAN]

Nothing more to add...