Dating in Med School for a Girl? Disturbing Trend?

[caffeinemia]

This thread kills me. But it is an entertaining death.

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[deleted500612]

Dating threads always go at least 10 pages, I don't expect this one to disappoint.

 

[PL198]

Another thing that annoys me... it feels like most of the white girls in my class are Jewish. Did you know if you marry a Jewish girl you need to raise your kids Jewish and get a circumcision? Fuuuuck that. Plus all those genetic disorders kinda scare me off.

LOL

 

[Kahreek]

LOL

not if they love you enough, if you are trully her man, she will forsake her jew ways and pursue you into the ends of the world.

 

[718347212]

cool if you're not gonna have kids, but if you are, then good luck with your dysfunctional kid.

I guess no one here has heard of the joint family system; then again, not everyone is privileged with that experience.

 

[PL198]

joint family system? it's not hard to see why 2 parents working 60+ hours a week leads to dysfunctional kids.

no joke, look at the kids that have dropped out of your school or taken any extra year, 80+ % at mine come from two physician families.

you can be naive and think you're going to rewrite the book on parenting, but it's pretty clear it takes a significant amount of time. as does being a physician.

anyone that uses the word privileged, I automatically feel sorry for you.

 

[Silent Cool]

I've noticed a trend-- and this might be just at my school-- but it bothers me all the same.

I'm fortunate enough to attend a top 10 medical school; I worked so hard to get to where I am that I never really put much thought into dating. I figured I could simply make up for lost time while at medical school.

What I didn't account for is that the vast majority of guys in our class are taken (we're all about mid-20s). That itself is fine- what's more disconcerting, is that most of these guys have long-term relationships with women in much less rigorous professions (i.e. art, high-school teachers, nonprofit work etc.) No disrespect to these professions, and I'm sure they can be fairly challenging because I've worked in some of these fields, but I all in all I see very few of these guys dating women in medicine. From the handful that are, they rarely ever date girls in med school (i.e. there are some in pharm). There's a stark difference in our class with the guys being taken and the girls-- good-looking, clever, and talented-- being single.

In all honestly, it seems like being accomplished has actually HURT our chances, whereas being in medical school has seemingly helped the guys. How do we address this?

Time to start thinking outside of the box:

 

[touchpause13]

Another thing that annoys me... it feels like most of the white girls in my class are Jewish. Did you know if you marry a Jewish girl you need to raise your kids Jewish and get a circumcision? Fuuuuck that. Plus all those genetic disorders kinda scare me off.

That's just antisemitic

Time to start thinking outside of the box:

I strongly support this proposition although it would be more accurate to say she should start spending more time in the box


For real tho Engineers are the way to go.

 

[Porfirio]

Girls in medicine come with medicine problems. Girls outside medicine come with problems that I get to pick.

This is why I am dating an English teacher. Plus, the last thing I want to hear about is medicine when I am home.

 

[TrickMcJanky]

High school teacher & artist are prob. cuter and less deluded than OP

 

[touchpause13]

Girls in medicine come with medicine problems. Girls outside medicine come with problems that I get to pick.

This is why I am dating an English teacher. Plus, the last thing I want to hear about is medicine when I am home.

Everyone comes with problems, and you don't really get to pick them

 

[fancymylotus]

Everyone comes with problems, and you don't really get to pick them

Truth. I have lots of problems.

 

[Kahreek]

That's just antisemitic

I strongly support this proposition although it would be more accurate to say she should start spending more time in the box


For real tho Engineers are the way to go.

how is not wanting to get circumsized and have a say in your children education antisemitic.

 

[ktran17]

This is what goes on in the allopathic section?

 

[fancymylotus]

This is what goes on in the allopathic section?

>< no more dentists allowed

 

[Kahreek]

physcians contemplate dating, diggers come mirin

 

[ktran17]

>< no more dentists allowed

But I can cut a pretty crown and put it on your head. I thought the whole princess thing was your ish?

 

[touchpause13]

how is not wanting to get circumsized and have a say in your children education antisemitic.

I mean you realize that there is more than just 1 way to be Jewish, and basically saying ew Jews is pretty ****ty.

 

[touchpause13]

Truth. I have lots of problems.

Baby I can handle your problems any day

 

[DeejayDO]

I don't think medical school is the place to start looking for a suitor. Considering you're in a top 10 school, you should have known that you'd likely be too busy to nurture a budding romance. However, that doesn't mean that people don't find love in med school. That being said, I don't think having such a narrow pool (men in your medical school) of potential mates is a good idea. Do you need to date a doctor? If so, maybe that's where the dating problems are starting. Dating someone in a less rigorous field says nothing about how they are as a person or mate. They can absolutely be your intellectual and emotional equal despite not being a medical student or doctor. I find it interesting that you are disconcerted with the fact that men are "dating down" when they could be dating an equal or greater accomplished person, even if they were not as compatible with that person. To me, that is a major dating red flag.

I admit that I had envisioned myself marrying a doctor or financier. However, I fell in love with an engineering student who worked full time through college, landed a mediocre job after graduation, and who differed from me in upbringing and world experience. I'm madly in love with him after 5 years and I consider myself a better person and better future physician because of our relationship. Long story short (too late!), don't put all of your eggs in one basket!

 

[Anicetus]

I've noticed a trend-- and this might be just at my school-- but it bothers me all the same.

I'm fortunate enough to attend a top 10 medical school; I worked so hard to get to where I am that I never really put much thought into dating. I figured I could simply make up for lost time while at medical school.

What I didn't account for is that the vast majority of guys in our class are taken (we're all about mid-20s). That itself is fine- what's more disconcerting, is that most of these guys have long-term relationships with women in much less rigorous professions (i.e. art, high-school teachers, nonprofit work etc.) No disrespect to these professions, and I'm sure they can be fairly challenging because I've worked in some of these fields, but I all in all I see very few of these guys dating women in medicine. From the handful that are, they rarely ever date girls in med school (i.e. there are some in pharm). There's a stark difference in our class with the guys being taken and the girls-- good-looking, clever, and talented-- being single.

In all honestly, it seems like being accomplished has actually HURT our chances, whereas being in medical school has seemingly helped the guys. How do we address this?

Hmm, that is odd. You'd think that having such an accomplished resume would get you accepted to at least ONE male medical student, huh.

How are your LOR's? Was there something bad in your LOR's to these guys? I'm surprised not one of them has given you an interview…

Maybe if you just beef up your "accomplishments" and work on your interviewing skills you will have a better shot at getting accepted into a relationship.

Seriously, just from this post you sound like you live and breathe bettering your resume and it even sounds like men and their choices should behave like medical school and take in women that are "Accomplished". You need an outlook adjustment if you ask me.

 

[MedWonk]

Baby I can handle your problems any day

 

[Eokpar02]

The more I read these threads, the more I am blessed that women don't like me.

 

[Mad Jack]

Another thing that annoys me... it feels like most of the white girls in my class are Jewish. Did you know if you marry a Jewish girl you need to raise your kids Jewish and get a circumcision? Fuuuuck that. Plus all those genetic disorders kinda scare me off.

You pretty much skirt most of the genetic stuff when you're a non-Jew marrying a Jew. It's mostly the narrow genetic profile of the Jewish community that leads to so much weird stuff.

 

[Mad Jack]

Dual-physician marriages are common but I have noticed a common theme. Its usually the male with the "more demanding" specialty. The Ortho dude marrying a Derm chick. The Gen surgeon male marrying a FM/Peds chick, etc.

I've also noticed this- you usually don't see a guy that's a hospitalist dating a female urologist or a FM dude dating a girl in ortho, it's basically always the other way around.

 

[zeppelinpage4]

There's a good number of class couples at my school. I mean, not a lot, but I know several guys who actively want to date women in medicine that understand what they're going through and share interests. It might just be the luck of the draw with which class you are in.

There are guys out there, might just take some extra effort to find them.

 

[cbrons]

How many relationships fail in med school?

 

[GoPelicans]

This is what goes on in the allopathic section?

Sup bb are you a dentite girl?

 

[URMD]

How many doctors do you guys know that date nurses or other mid-level providers? Is two people in healthcare professions in that scenario good for building a family?

 

[Señor S]

It seems obvious but apparently a lot of med school women are shocked to realize it. Any female (or male) pre-meds reading this, hear me now: medical school is not a dating service. And "making up for lost time"? Please. If you weren't dating much before you got here don't expect med school to be any different.

 

[Kahreek]

i mean make

I don't think medical school is the place to start looking for a suitor. Considering you're in a top 10 school, you should have known that you'd likely be too busy to nurture a budding romance. However, that doesn't mean that people don't find love in med school. That being said, I don't think having such a narrow pool (men in your medical school) of potential mates is a good idea. Do you need to date a doctor? If so, maybe that's where the dating problems are starting. Dating someone in a less rigorous field says nothing about how they are as a person or mate. They can absolutely be your intellectual and emotional equal despite not being a medical student or doctor. I find it interesting that you are disconcerted with the fact that men are "dating down" when they could be dating an equal or greater accomplished person, even if they were not as compatible with that person. To me, that is a major dating red flag.

I admit that I had envisioned myself marrying a doctor or financier. However, I fell in love with an engineering student who worked full time through college, landed a mediocre job after graduation, and who differed from me in upbringing and world experience. I'm madly in love with him after 5 years and I consider myself a better person and better future physician because of our relationship. Long story short (too late!), don't put all of your eggs in one basket!

Shameless

 

[s5260205]

How many doctors do you guys know that date nurses or other mid-level providers? Is two people in healthcare professions in that scenario good for building a family?

 

[ZuluHotel]

Here read this: A Dynamic Theory of Romantic Choice. It's fun and slightly tongue-in-cheek, but still true. Basically the dating pool only gets worse as time goes on, as the good ones pair up. If you wait until your mid-20s to start dating, you are going to be disappointed regardless of profession.

This holds in my experience... All the guys and gals you would consider a "catch" have been caught. More than 20% of the class is married, and most are in a relationship. The few single people in my class are either a little bit off or just not the type to settle down.

 

[URMD]

Lol thats funny but it was a serious question!

 

[fancymylotus]

How many doctors do you guys know that date nurses or other mid-level providers? Is two people in healthcare professions in that scenario good for building a family?

Not many, or I would be raging at them and calling them traitors!

 

[Psai]

How many doctors do you guys know that date nurses or other mid-level providers? Is two people in healthcare professions in that scenario good for building a family?

No it leads to discord as nurses are being indoctrinated with the nonsense that nps are just as good if not better than docs (pretty soon they will drop the just as good part). There will be constant fighting as they continually compare their degree path to yours as if it were even close and assure you that they won't claim the title of Doctor when they are practicing. Just a bunch of bs due to huge inferiority complexed. F that

Rns are cool though

 

[URMD]

No it leads to discord as nurses are being indoctrinated with the nonsense that nps are just as good if not better than docs (pretty soon they will drop the just as good part). There will be constant fighting as they continually compare their degree path to yours as if it were even close and assure you that they won't claim the title of Doctor when they are practicing. Just a bunch of bs due to huge inferiority complexed. F that

Rns are cool though

wow. ok thats a strong opinion. I did mean RN's though lol. and I was talking about family lifestyle (i.e. ability to raise good offspring)

 

[fancymylotus]

Sup bb are you a dentite girl?

I'm the only dentite girl in Allo

 

[Redpancreas]

Edit: I just realized you're thread was about dating...not long term commitments necessarily. In that case, you really shouldn't have trouble finding a guy in medical school especially if you go to class, study in groups, etc. Also, what's stopping you at this point in your life from dating guys? Go outside your class. You'll still find plenty. Girls are infinitely better off than guys when it comes to finding someone to date. The playing field is leveled slowly as both genders age.





Unfortunately you're correct. Guys are comfortable being the breadwinner and will settle for less, putting girls who've achieved at a disadvantage. To be fair though, girls aren't saints either. At my school, I've realized girls typically date the more experienced guys (m2/3/4s) and also have an easier time than guys just in general. Maybe if both genders stopped abiding by the traditional power dynamic people would be happier.


Here are some of the reasons girls have problems ranging from superficial to serious for guys. Maybe it'll help if you're more aware:

Med school guys:

Guys care about a lot about the physical and as long as she's interesting, why settle for higher achieving if money's not an issue?

Other guys:

2. What if it comes time down to road to spend time more time with the kids? Suddenly, the guy may be expected to quit his career to take care of the kids if the girls earns more. No guy I know would be comfortable doing this.

3. Guys are not comfortable with being clingy but are almost always forced to be when they find themselves way less busy than the typical medical school student/resident/physician.

You will absolutely find guys who don't have this attitude but they're in the minority I'd suspect.

With that all being said, there are a few guys (like me ) who would like to find a girl in medical school (though not necessarily my own). I find it appealing to have a partner with a similar outlook, schedule, goals, etc. to me. Medical school girls are also generally in shape, decent looking, balanced, kind, low maintenance,sensitive, and hardworking which are all pluses IMO. To get to the heart of the issue though, the main obstacle is options down the road. With both schedules, there will be little time to look after any kids. One way around this for immigrant families (common among Indians at least) is to have the grandparents help out when the babies are developing to toddlers during the initial period so the wife isn't put under so much stress to take time off. From there though, it's an uphill battle and it's a hectic lifestyle only those who plan efficiently with good time management can pull off. Guys truly have to embrace the woman as an equal and share her responsibilities around the house (kid's activities, bills, chores, etc) right down the middle (50:50)...this appeals to me because I like the idea of being in a team, but I guess most guys prefer a more traditional type of relationship. I dunno why, and maybe I'm wrong so I should speak for myself but that's my take.

 

[deleted500612]

joint family system? it's not hard to see why 2 parents working 60+ hours a week leads to dysfunctional kids.

no joke, look at the kids that have dropped out of your school or taken any extra year, 80+ % at mine come from two physician families.

you can be naive and think you're going to rewrite the book on parenting, but it's pretty clear it takes a significant amount of time. as does being a physician.

anyone that uses the word privileged, I automatically feel sorry for you.

I think by "joint family system" he is referring to the fact that in some other cultures (namely Indian culture) it is considered normal and beneficial to live with extended family, and everyone chips in on raising the young ones.

 

[ortnakas]

Dating other classmates is risky. I really don't advise it.

I've been married since before I decided to go to med school, but from watching some friends' experiences, this is very true.

Now, back to watching this thread just for the entertainment value.

 

[fancymylotus]

I think by "joint family system" he is referring to the fact that in some other cultures (namely Indian culture) it is considered normal and beneficial to live with extended family, and everyone chips in on raising the young ones.

Yeah, my mother is basically waiting around for me to give her grandchildren to take care of. And as the oldest kid, they'll live with me.

I need to buy a house with separate wings. One for us, one for my parents, one for his parents. Separate entrances and kitchens.

 

[Redpancreas]

Also OP,
This fellow seems to be one of the guys you're looking for:

http://forums.studentdoctor.net/thr...guy-meet-medical-school-girls-to-date.736184/

 

[sia_simba]

To the OP and other medical students,

Have you consider that despite couples are together prior to or during medical school, that they don't necessarily end up staying together? I have seen soooo many times "medical student couples" and they end up being with someone else once residency hits. I've actually witnessed quite a few divorces. So don't be too overly jealous or concern. You are in the better position in my opinion.

I'm sure more than half of you watch Grey's Anatomy, unfortunately, maybe not to that extreme, but humans will be humans and those kind of affairs do happen. I would be surprised if I find a hospital that doesn't have drama.

So if you are a med student and concerned about dating or having a relationship, DONT WORRY... you will definitely find someone. A good amount of physicians will end up with someone in the health related field, simply because its hard for someone to understand our life-style at times.

Bottom line is "Earning potential". If a male physician is "Smart", if he is making less money than his physician wife, then he should be doing part time. Money isn't everything, more money always bring more problem. But no money also creates problem as well. =)

All the other parts are just excuses of not wanting to go out and date or be in a relationship. I have tons of friends who are NOT physicians and would do anything to date a woman who is a physician. =) Its the 21st century, lets get with the program.

Goodluck!

P.S. To the other poster, yes you are correct. I am Gyn-Onc and my wife is FP, and yes, I met her when I was doing my residency. !!!

 

[Maverick87]

Start hanging out with the PhD, Pharm, OT, RT, PA, MPH or other professions students. There's a Jack for every Jill out there.

This. I'm a PA. Once I get out of Nowheresvillege, Military, I'll be actively seeking health care professionals to date. I find lady docs to be sexy and I like talking about work at home. I'm sure that I can't be the only one....

 

[caffeinemia]

To the OP and other medical students,

Have you consider that despite couples are together prior to or during medical school, that they don't necessarily end up staying together? I have seen soooo many times "medical student couples" and they end up being with someone else once residency hits. I've actually witnessed quite a few divorces. So don't be too overly jealous or concern. You are in the better position in my opinion.

I'm sure more than half of you watch Grey's Anatomy, unfortunately, maybe not to that extreme, but humans will be humans and those kind of affairs do happen. I would be surprised if I find a hospital that doesn't have drama.

So if you are a med student and concerned about dating or having a relationship, DONT WORRY... you will definitely find someone. A good amount of physicians will end up with someone in the health related field, simply because its hard for someone to understand our life-style at times.

Bottom line is "Earning potential". If a male physician is "Smart", if he is making less money than his physician wife, then he should be doing part time. Money isn't everything, more money always bring more problem. But no money also creates problem as well. =)

All the other parts are just excuses of not wanting to go out and date or be in a relationship. I have tons of friends who are NOT physicians and would do anything to date a woman who is a physician. =) Its the 21st century, lets get with the program.

Goodluck!

P.S. To the other poster, yes you are correct. I am Gyn-Onc and my wife is FP, and yes, I met her when I was doing my residency. !!!

Happy wife happy life. Corollary is I have no wife, therefore I have an unhappy life

 

[Eokpar02]

It seems obvious but apparently a lot of med school women are shocked to realize it. Any female (or male) pre-meds reading this, hear me now: medical school is not a dating service. And "making up for lost time"? Please. If you weren't dating much before you got here don't expect med school to be any different.

I couldn't get laid at all during college or after. Only after I started medical school did I start seeing the moist pink walls of glory. Medical school, of course, bears no responsibility on the strengthening of my pimp hand but don't discourage guys/gals who haven't been getting any action before they ascend the ivory tower.

 

[touchpause13]

I couldn't get laid at all during college or after. Only after I started medical school did I start seeing the moist pink walls of glory. Medical school, of course, bears no responsibility on the strengthening of my pimp hand but don't discourage guys/gals who haven't been getting any action before they ascend the ivory tower.

Ark is that you?

 

[s5260205]

I couldn't get laid at all during college or after. Only after I started medical school did I start seeing the moist pink walls of glory. Medical school, of course, bears no responsibility on the strengthening of my pimp hand but don't discourage guys/gals who haven't been getting any action before they ascend the ivory tower.

 

[BobbyB]

I think by "joint family system" he is referring to the fact that in some other cultures (namely Indian culture) it is considered normal and beneficial to live with extended family, and everyone chips in on raising the young ones.

i come from a 2 doctor household and my grandparents played a significant role in raising me. it would have been a lot more difficult for my parents without their help.

my mom and my dad have put babysitting grandchildren in their future plans. i think the viability of having a 2 physician household depends a lot on familial support.

if i didn't have any family support i would definitely favor finding a spouse with a flexible career so she can take a few years off when the kids are young. when they are in school, she can work part-time or another productive activity.

ladies, think about that the next time you see a hot starbucks barista. he could easily take a few years off or work part-time.