Crazy Family Members!

[DSM]

Man, how I hate them.....

I had some real nut jobs last night on a call. The moment I walked in the door for an end stage COPD patient, they began verbally assaulting me and my partner. It got so bad one of the daughters pushed me. When I said I was going to call law enforcement....they went nuts...they screamed at us all the way to the ambulance.

It makes me wonder why I am in this business. There is such a lack of gratitude and appreciation for EMS. I really felt like just walking out and leaving. The patient was not that bad....Yes, he is dying from endstage COPD but he was maintaining his usual level. He finally told his family to shut up.....Gee what is wrong with people these days?

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[paramed2premed]

Man, how I hate them.....

I had some real nut jobs last night on a call. The moment I walked in the door for an end stage COPD patient, they began verbally assaulting me and my partner. It got so bad one of the daughters pushed me. When I said I was going to call law enforcement....they went nuts...they screamed at us all the way to the ambulance.

It makes me wonder why I am in this business. There is such a lack of gratitude and appreciation for EMS. I really felt like just walking out and leaving. The patient was not that bad....Yes, he is dying from endstage COPD but he was maintaining his usual level. He finally told his family to shut up.....Gee what is wrong with people these days?

Remember; the patient's FAMILY is the one with the disease. I have had many calls where family members yelled stuff, berated my questions, acted hostile. You just have to remember what you are their for, keep focused, and do your job calmly. I rely less on yelling back at them than on "Jedi mind tricks,' whereby you act concerned and thoughtful, but you are actually guiding them along the path you want.

E.g. "It sounds like you have had some bad experiences before with EMTs/doctors/hospitals." or,

"I can tell you are very concerned about you father/child/ pack of cigarettes." or,

"What is going on now thats bothering you? What can we do about that? Is there something I can help with?" or,

"These aren't the droids you're looking for..."

If they are drunk forget it. Call in your blue friends with OC spray and Tasers.

 

[niko327]

Man, how I hate them.....

I had some real nut jobs last night on a call. The moment I walked in the door for an end stage COPD patient, they began verbally assaulting me and my partner. It got so bad one of the daughters pushed me. When I said I was going to call law enforcement....they went nuts...they screamed at us all the way to the ambulance.

It makes me wonder why I am in this business. There is such a lack of gratitude and appreciation for EMS. I really felt like just walking out and leaving. The patient was not that bad....Yes, he is dying from endstage COPD but he was maintaining his usual level. He finally told his family to shut up.....Gee what is wrong with people these days?

I hate that crap too, it really sucks doesn't it. At least the job's over till the next time they call.

 

[Febrifuge]

Ya know, you can call me totally naive, but I don't see what's such a big deal about someone's family being distraught and irrational about their dad/brother/grampa dying. I hate it when outsiders accuse us of being cold and dispassionate, and we need to blow off steam (see the "things I learned..." threads), but really. 'Yeah, those dorks who are in emotional extremis sure are annoying. I hate when they cry.'

I apologize in advance if I'm just missing the point, but EMS is all about walking into chaos and conjuring a sense of order. Dealing with people under stress and in crisis, even if they're not the medically sick patient, is part of the gig. I consider it to be like getting puked on from time to time. It happens; it sucks; it doesn't make me love the work any less. And anyway, aren't there an equal number of family members who treat you like you're Sir Galahad to the rescue?

 

[paramed2premed]

...EMS is all about walking into chaos and conjuring a sense of order.

Perfectly said. That is where my sense of accomplisment came from, being able to control both the scene and myself. I wasn't always successful , but that was the challenging part of the job.

 

[Robz]

The minute they touch me its over....I don't stand for any physical issues, I didn't get paid enough.

It sounds like a minor thing but I usually stopped and said I am here to help what can I do. If they were abusive I stopped what I was doing (provided the Pt was stable) and asked them to politely back away from me so I can do my job.....if not I have no qualms of calling for backup.

I made the mistake ONCE of not paying attention to a scene and when I went to treat a domestic disbute's wife. I got stabbed in the left shoulder by the guy (husband) who had a small pocket knife hidden. Thank god the officers were there cause I don't know what would have happened otherwise. After the officers were through...we had to treat him, me , and the wife. Yay.....(it was just a small nick for me..and I AMA'ed )

Taught me a lesson...CYA (cover your A%%)!

 

[niko327]

Ya know, you can call me totally naive, but I don't see what's such a big deal about someone's family being distraught and irrational about their dad/brother/grampa dying. I hate it when outsiders accuse us of being cold and dispassionate, and we need to blow off steam (see the "things I learned..." threads), but really. 'Yeah, those dorks who are in emotional extremis sure are annoying. I hate when they cry.'

I apologize in advance if I'm just missing the point, but EMS is all about walking into chaos and conjuring a sense of order. Dealing with people under stress and in crisis, even if they're not the medically sick patient, is part of the gig. I consider it to be like getting puked on from time to time. It happens; it sucks; it doesn't make me love the work any less. And anyway, aren't there an equal number of family members who treat you like you're Sir Galahad to the rescue?

No doubt all that you're saying is true, no doubt at all. Just remeber not to turn yourself into a grief and puke mop because it's all part of the gig. It's not wrong to get pissed off and vent every once in a while (after the call in an appropriate place) just for the sake of your own mental health. Sometimes hearing from another provider agree that it sucks kinda helps, at least it does for me.

 

[Febrifuge]

Exactly.

It totally sucks. And finding a way to let both the puke and the emotion roll off, and not soak in, is the tough part. I was just making sure it was regular venting. Sorry to be a pain.

 

[caroladybelle]

Ya know, you can call me totally naive, but I don't see what's such a big deal about someone's family being distraught and irrational about their dad/brother/grampa dying.

Sorry, but there is NO EXCUSE for abusing a healthcare worker of any kind.

When we excuse bad behavior, we encourage it to continue and worsen.

A police officer works with "emotional" and "irrational" behavior all the time, but anyone that abuses them gets brought up on charges. A healthcare worker gets abused, it is "they were upset".

 

[styphon]

I also had trouble with a domestic BLS call..I turned to treat the wife, with the husband to my back, and I TELL the driver to watch the husband (he must have not heard me)..As soon as I turn the husband lunges at me but a cop slams him to the floor and cuffs him..

And to think..I use to hate cops!!(cops have also saved me from aggressive drunks and a woman on a stabbingt spree)

 

[beanbean]

In addition to volunteering as an EMT, I also volunteer as a Patient Advocate for my EMS service. There are about 6-7 of us who have been selected to do this - we get toned out for particularly 'bad' calls (CPR in progress, bad MVA, anything with a child, etc) and are there to assist the family, friends and bystanders who are in the middle of the crisis. It is a wonderful thing to have someone on scene who is completely focused everybody else so the crew can focus on the patient. We also assist the police with accident and death notifications. If a code is called on scene we will stay with the family until the ME or funeral home arrives and we help explain the whole process to them. I have done everything from phoning relatives , driving family members to the hospital and going to the store to get some Gatorade at 3 AM for a guy who's grandmother had just coded.

It can definitely get a little nuts sometimes. The first reaction some people to news of a sudden death of a loved one is often anger and sometimes that anger gets directed at whoever is standing in front of them.

The hardest PAT call I ever did was for an methadone overdose at a post-reception wedding party at a private home. The wedding and reception had been going on all day and there were about 50 friends and family still there celebrating - most were pretty intoxicated at this point. I was the first to arrive on scene with the PD so I acted as a first responder initially until the rig got there....you can imagine my surprise when I discovered that the overdose victim was the groom! Everyone's dream wedding night OD on methadone in front of your new wife, your parents, her parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles - everyone! Great story to tell your grandkids!

It was lots of fun trying to explain what was happening to this guys entire family (pre-HIPPA) and help keep all 50 drunk people from getting in their cars to head to the ED.

 

[paramed2premed]

Sorry, but there is NO EXCUSE for abusing a healthcare worker of any kind.

When we excuse bad behavior, we encourage it to continue and worsen.

A police officer works with "emotional" and "irrational" behavior all the time, but anyone that abuses them gets brought up on charges. A healthcare worker gets abused, it is "they were upset".

Good example you bring up.

The cops that I respect are very good at deflecting/ignoring verbal abuse. They keep focussed, stay cool, and retain control of the scene. They manifest their authority and control by NOT responding to petty insults.

Same thing on the rig. It is usually a lot more commanding to not get all worked up.

 

[DSM]

OK, I must be the crazy family magnet........


I responded to a wreck and on my arrival.... there were many wailing and warbling family members on scene carrying on hysterically. I mean they were screaming and caterwauling...my partner went to one patient and I went to the other. As I walk up, "mama" sees me coming, throws her hands up in the air, spins around and lands in the middle of her "injured" daughters abdomen. It looked like something out of WWF. I would have laughed accept the noise level was deafening. I made sure the patient was fine. (eyes closed, talking and no visible signs of trauma) and I immediately called dispatch to tell PD to hurry, I needed crowd control. Geez, what is wrong with these people. The girls were not hurt and actually faking any injury. But the family and neighbors were carrying on as if they had been decapitated.

That is my report on how I spent my memorial day.

 

[Oats]

Sorry, I don't buy excusing family members that act like animals. If their loved one is truly sick/hurt/dying, then that's one thing. But when a pts. faking a seizure and his sister tells him, "Don't act all crazy like you did last time!", and then proceeds to kick me in the face with steel-toed boots...my politeness goes out the window. I'm there trying to help them, whether I feel that their complaint is legit or not. I give everybody the same treatment. People need to act like they have some sense. There is no reason to be kicking, spitting, punching, grabbing, or otherwise assaulting people who are there to help. The last pt. that did it to me spent a few months in jail. Gotta love it.

 

[DSM]

Funny, you should bump this thread today

Enroute to a call the signal changed three times: My first clue that things were not going to be smooth sailing. First it was an unresponsive patient, then an altercation and then a seizure patient. By this time I was preparing for the worst

My "seizure" patient was a 41 year old male who was acting postictal and his wife kept telling me he was having a seizure. Her voice was so shrill and obnoxious that I could not here myself think much less assess the patient. I would admonish her and she would be quiet for a whole 15 seconds. The patient was trying to impress me with his acting skills and she was crying and carrying on as if he were dying. Finally, I told her to go to the other room and compose herself.....

I managed to get said patient loaded into the ambulance with the gentle help of the deputy sheriff. At the hospital we were in the process of moving the man over to the ER stretcher and his "wife" came in and began her routine again. I asked her to step out and all HELL broke loose. The hospital police came in and removed her from the room because she would not leave and kept caterwauling at the top of her lungs so loudly that the patient asked her to leave. Come to find out, she was only ONE of his signifigant others. Needless to say....she was not allowed back in. She continued her hissy fit and managed to get herself arrested and thrown in jail.

I laughed until I hurt. The patient AMA'ed himself outta there when the staff came for blood work and he knew that the drugs he had been using would show up.

Wow, some people..........

 

[FoughtFyr]

Taught me a lesson...CYA (cover your A%%)!

My rules of EMS nos. 35-36
35. Know when to get out of Dodge.
36. Never go into Dodge without the Sheriff.

For the rest of them...
http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=109719

- H

 

[leviathan]

I can't say I've ever had to go through this kind of commotion as a first-aid attendant. As of lately, I've been working primarily in a sports stadium as on-call medical aid for events that usually hold 15-20,000 people. Whenever a patient is either brought into the medical room by roving teams, or comes in on foot, the minor casualties are always extremely friendly and apologetic for ever "bothering" me. (And of course, the unstable/trauma patients are either too distraught or unconscious to present any kind of demeanour to me.) I gotta say, I'm appaled by the amount of crap you guys have to go through, but also impressed by your ability to keep yourself together through it all.

Man, how I hate them.....

I had some real nut jobs last night on a call. The moment I walked in the door for an end stage COPD patient, they began verbally assaulting me and my partner. It got so bad one of the daughters pushed me. When I said I was going to call law enforcement....they went nuts...they screamed at us all the way to the ambulance.

It makes me wonder why I am in this business. There is such a lack of gratitude and appreciation for EMS. I really felt like just walking out and leaving. The patient was not that bad....Yes, he is dying from endstage COPD but he was maintaining his usual level. He finally told his family to shut up.....Gee what is wrong with people these days?

 

[PluckyDuk8]

We can keep these stories coming along, but I just for a moment wanted to remember the other side (and I'm sure there's lots of stories of this as well)- of amazingly gracious families. When I was working one of our regular dialysis patient's daughter always was giving candy to us once we finished bringing her mother up the stairs and inside.

Has anyone ever gotten monetarily tipped by family? My partner and I once were tipped, it was the kind of thing that we tried to refuse and argued for a few minutes but the son of the patient wouldn't hear of it- he put a bill in both of our hands and we just slipped in it our pocket without looking. Driving to our next call we looked and both were given 10 dollar bills!

Also- anyone take family of people who owned your company or worked for your company? It happened to me a few times- kinda makes you feel good that you were sent but at the same time you gotta be oh so careful. Especially one employee's father that they sent us to that they knew was non-ambulatory and a bit beyond my lifting ability.

 

[Oats]

We can keep these stories coming along, but I just for a moment wanted to remember the other side (and I'm sure there's lots of stories of this as well)- of amazingly gracious families. When I was working one of our regular dialysis patient's daughter always was giving candy to us once we finished bringing her mother up the stairs and inside.

Has anyone ever gotten monetarily tipped by family? My partner and I once were tipped, it was the kind of thing that we tried to refuse and argued for a few minutes but the son of the patient wouldn't hear of it- he put a bill in both of our hands and we just slipped in it our pocket without looking. Driving to our next call we looked and both were given 10 dollar bills!

Also- anyone take family of people who owned your company or worked for your company? It happened to me a few times- kinda makes you feel good that you were sent but at the same time you gotta be oh so careful. Especially one employee's father that they sent us to that they knew was non-ambulatory and a bit beyond my lifting ability.

My old partner and I had a pt. whose son tried to tip us. He wouldn't hear of us refusing it. But, when we explained to him that we could/would lose our jobs by accepting his tip he relented. We also reminded him that we get paid by the company anyway.
I've been called to help several employees and/or their families. The most significant was for one of the supervisor's mom. It went fine though. Whew!