Advice on dating a nurse?

[VincentAdultman]

how the **** did this thread go from me asking for dating advice to stories about people being raped?

I see you are new here.

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[787593]

Don't poop where ya eat mane! Don't do it!

such good advice^^^

 

[Nephro critical care]

So few men willing to stand up for their gender. Women are always ganging up with each other to bring down men. I believe both genders lie equally.
Yes there are some women that are harassed sexually but also many women who actually welcome such advances at the time but two years down the line when a relationship goes sour or a money making / self furthering opportunity presents itself scream rape. Any wonder most of the men caught up in the ‘ME TOO’ campaign have yet to have any criminal charges slapped on them.
Tell the b’’’’ to FO publicly now before she gets a chance to do this to you.

 

[MedicineZ0Z]

So there's a cute nurse on my floor that I'm interested in, and I think she might be into me based on how much she's been looking at me. I'm unsure how to get something going. I've had a nurse my age just talk to me casually before, but I never seized that opportunity, and I feel really dumb now. I'm not dating my classmates because they're mean and I had a bad experience. I figure even if she rejects me, I only have another week on this floor. Any ideas?

You're over thinking it. Staff don't go for students unless you're incredibly attractive. And if she's that cute, very good chance she has a bf.
But seriously, go for it. What do you have to lose? Make a soft approach and see how it goes.

It's always easier if it can be downplayed as a not-date if she isn't all that into you. Talk to her and establish some sort of connection that you guys have that can be parlayed into an excursion. Fake it if you have to.

If nothing else, on a Friday AM just be like, "God this weeks' been ridiculous, I can't wait to get out of here". She'll probably agree, and then you should say something like, "I could totally use a beer after we get off, want to come with?". If she puts up ANY sort of resistance, bail immediately. ANYTHING short of an absolute, "Yeah that sounds fun what time?" should be viewed by you as a HUUUUUUUGEEEEEEE red flag. With whats going on in the media these days, you don't want to ruin your career because you tried too hard and some nurse took offense and reported you to HR or something.

Same thing goes if she ends up wanting to grab that beer. Initiate initial non-sexual physical contact as much as you can with her and see how she responds. If she doesn't seem to mind then obviously thats a good sign. If she pulls away thats REALLY BAD sign.

Even if she's been responding positively to your advances you need to be super suave about going for the kiss at the end of the night. After you walk her home there's going to be pause, there always is, and then you should smile and say something like, "I want to kiss you right now but I always heard it was dangerous to start anything with the people you work with". If she says ANYTHING other than a very positive reaction JUST LEAVE.

It's much easier to chalk it up to a misunderstanding about intention and you both move on than it is to explain to your attending on Monday what happened if you end up going for it balls to the wall and she again think its like Al Franken when you're "attempting to aggressively kiss her" or whatever the hell.

Protect your sack bruh its hard out there for a pimp.

Good advice. Though I'd go for the kiss at the end...

It’s amazing how much our generation likes to dance around playing patty cake instead of just being straightforward and honest.



No, be a man and just ask her out. This plan is a great way to put yourself in the friend zone from the get go.

These days if you look at a woman it’s sexual harassment. I wouldn’t risk your career on talking to this person

Good looking = get away with whatever, no such thing as friend zone
Average looking or below = making a move is harassment and every interaction ends up friendzoned

If the OP (as a student) gets a date with a cute nurse, it's very unlikely he'll have an issue with either of those.
Same goes for residents & attendings...

So few men willing to stand up for their gender. Women are always ganging up with each other to bring down men. I believe both genders lie equally.
Yes there are some women that are harassed sexually but also many women who actually welcome such advances at the time but two years down the line when a relationship goes sour or a money making / self furthering opportunity presents itself scream rape. Any wonder most of the men caught up in the ‘ME TOO’ campaign have yet to have any criminal charges slapped on them.
Tell the b’’’’ to FO publicly now before she gets a chance to do this to you.

I'm not a feminist and far from it but I largely believe accusers. No one ever talks about one simple yet concrete fact. Good looking guys get away with INSANE stuff that anyone doing would get them charged.
Full out drunk sex which is absolutely sexual assault in my opinion yet the girl never cares when they find out who they hooked up with (the "hot guy").
And here's one almost everyone will agree with. Advances from a pretty attractive guy are welcomed by almost all girls and give many an ego boost.
But some run of the mill guy? "What a creep."

 

[JP2740]

So awesome to look at a derailed thread and people yelling with passion with the thought that “I did this.”

 

[Crayola227]

Full out drunk sex which is absolutely sexual assault in my opinion yet the girl never cares when they find out who they hooked up with (the "hot guy").
And here's one almost everyone will agree with. Advances from a pretty attractive guy are welcomed by almost all girls and give many an ego boost.
But some run of the mill guy? "What a creep."

There's some truth to your last statement.

However, I vehemently disagree with the former. Perhaps for some women they ultimately feel like what happened while they were drunk was what sober-them would have done. It's muddier when it's something sober-you wouldn't have done, yet you were wasted and it happened.

OTOH, no matter what a guy looks like, just because you are drunk doesn't mean sober-you can't remember being strong-armed into something you said no to, if that's what happened.

I find your comment really offensive, because I know plenty of women, including myself, who have been raped by men they found very attractive. Just because a guy is good looking doesn't mean you have consented. It doesn't make you feel better about being raped, or undo all the hurts that come from it. When you don't want sex with a good looking guy before he rapes you, it's not like the rape is going to make you think better of him.

What you describe about a girl finding out when sobering up and "not caring" could very well just be a coping mechanism to deal with what is generally at least discomfitting to most people - sex they don't remember, sex when they were too wasted to put a good finger on.

This last part is fact: a lot of women who are raped find it hard to identify it as such. Sounds crazy, I know. No one really wants to be raped. Like a lot of trauma and other losses (I won't get into how rape represents "loss" in many ways), there can be denial involved. People make excuses, find ways to blame themselves, or tell themselves it's "OK" because it was your husband or he was hot or whatever.

To everyone else, women are being sexually assaulted, truly assaulted and raped, all the time all around you. If you seem the type to confide in, and you are willing have an open mind and make the women close to you in your life that you trust, feel like you might really believe whatever they tell you, you might be able to ask your mother, sister, SO, grandmother, aunt, close friends, and you might be surprised what they tell you.

I've never found it to be a question that "woke" men have thought to ask me. Maybe some of you are convinced you don't know a lot women who have been assaulted because you never asked the right questions, and she never brought it up to you. Maybe you've made comments like the ones in this thread, and the women in your life, who care for your opinion, filed what happened to them under "do not talk about with SDN dude close to me, or else face humiliation, judgement, or worse, he won't believe me and think ill of me. Or he will believe me and still think ill of me."

In line with what I said above, it's frequently not a question of asking someone, "were you ever raped?" If you ask older women, like your gramma, many will say no. If you start asking different questions, you'd be surprised how often you will conclude what happened is assault, yet for many women it will come as a new revelation. "You told Uncle Jerry he was hurting you and to stop? Aunt Jemima, that's assault...."

Then, given the source and how credible you are able to judge them to be by knowing them, and the lack of likely secondary gain such sources would have in confiding in you, and the fact that for so many understandable reasons they have largely kept this to themselves, you might be able to believe them, or that at least it's what they believe happened to them. And that in most of these conversations, should you choose and be able to have them, they're not trying to smear anyone in the mud, get anyone jailed, etc etc. So then maybe you won't think there's so much to lose in believing them.

Then maybe some healing can happen - because I'll tell you this, when you can tell a man close to you that you were raped, and he believes you and says that it wasn't your fault, that is very healing for so many reasons. So often we focus on how women are telling their stories to hurt men, and not appreciating how, without hurting anyone, or trying to hate on men, or trying to get men to lose their jobs or go to jail, that these conversations can happen in a way that makes both parties feel better about each other.

There's value in discussing and being believed about an assault you never talked about, that happened 15 or 50 years ago. Should women expect those men to see the inside of a jail? That's really tough. It's an unjust world, and there it is. The number of times this stuff happens, and there's no legal consequences, vastly outnumbers the number of times a successful prosecution happens. That's just reality. Talk to any prosecutor about how many cases they get, how many are crap, how many they truly believe happened in their professional estimation, and how many of those cases don't even get prosecuted, let alone won. I don't know how many false cries there are. But the proportion of actual rapes that took place that just go under the rug is huge.

If a case from 10 years ago can be made and proved in court, then why not come forward? If it's proved in court, than legally and practically speaking, it probably actually happened. And rapists (not talking "date rape" or "gosh we were drunk what happened") are almost always serial rapists and have a string of victims. Those are the cases that can work out years later, when enough credible and unconnected witnesses come forward. It's tough in some cases because there might be secondary gain when it's someone well known.

There's going to be extremists in anything - African American civil rights, Temperance, feminists, Wiccans, gun rights, whatever. I don't think the fact the Crusades happened means that Christianity is fundamentally about killing babies. The false rape criers and "me too" stuff are only distractions to a real problem.

 

[thatawkguy]

You're over thinking it. Staff don't go for students unless you're incredibly attractive. And if she's that cute, very good chance she has a bf.
But seriously, go for it. What do you have to lose? Make a soft approach and see how it goes.

Good advice. Though I'd go for the kiss at the end...





Good looking = get away with whatever, no such thing as friend zone
Average looking or below = making a move is harassment and every interaction ends up friendzoned

If the OP (as a student) gets a date with a cute nurse, it's very unlikely he'll have an issue with either of those.
Same goes for residents & attendings...



I'm not a feminist and far from it but I largely believe accusers. No one ever talks about one simple yet concrete fact. Good looking guys get away with INSANE stuff that anyone doing would get them charged.
Full out drunk sex which is absolutely sexual assault in my opinion yet the girl never cares when they find out who they hooked up with (the "hot guy").
And here's one almost everyone will agree with. Advances from a pretty attractive guy are welcomed by almost all girls and give many an ego boost.
But some run of the mill guy? "What a creep."

I don't know how true all this is, since I know some medical students at my school who are decent looking but not incredibly attractive that are dating nurses. And I don't consider myself to be very attractive yet I have been hit on by a nurse as well as several students in my class. What I do lack is confidence, largely from lack of experience in asking women out (because they did in the past) and failed relationships.

 

[DokterMom]

As for the #metoo campaign... it's high time women can speak up about assault. With that said, they should be punished for falsely accusing. But, on that note, #metoo, and I'm proud of those who are standing up.

So long as accusations can be proven to be false using the same standards of criminal proof required to prove the accusations are true, then I have no problem with it. But in a court of law, the burden of proof falls on the accuser, and "beyond a reasonable doubt" is a nearly impossible hurdle in the vast majority of these cases. How many men grope women or rape their dates in front of witnesses who can state with send-their-friend-to-jail certainty that she didn't want it?

To everyone else, women are being sexually assaulted, truly assaulted and raped, all the time all around you. If you seem the type to confide in, and you are willing have an open mind and make the women close to you in your life that you trust, feel like you might really believe whatever they tell you, you might be able to ask your mother, sister, SO, grandmother, aunt, close friends, and you might be surprised what they tell you.

I've never found it to be a question that "woke" men have thought to ask me. Maybe some of you are convinced you don't know a lot women who have been assaulted because you never asked the right questions, and she never brought it up to you. Maybe you've made comments like the ones in this thread, and the women in your life, who care for your opinion, filed what happened to them under "do not talk about with SDN dude close to me, or else face humiliation, judgement, or worse, he won't believe me and think ill of me. Or he will believe me and still think ill of me."

In line with what I said above, it's frequently not a question of asking someone, "were you ever raped?" If you ask older women, like your gramma, many will say no. If you start asking different questions, you'd be surprised how often you will conclude what happened is assault, yet for many women it will come as a new revelation. "You told Uncle Jerry he was hurting you and to stop? Aunt Jemima, that's assault...."

Then, given the source and how credible you are able to judge them to be by knowing them, and the lack of likely secondary gain such sources would have in confiding in you, and the fact that for so many understandable reasons they have largely kept this to themselves, you might be able to believe them, or that at least it's what they believe happened to them. And that in most of these conversations, should you choose and be able to have them, they're not trying to smear anyone in the mud, get anyone jailed, etc etc. So then maybe you won't think there's so much to lose in believing them.

Then maybe some healing can happen - because I'll tell you this, when you can tell a man close to you that you were raped, and he believes you and says that it wasn't your fault, that is very healing for so many reasons. So often we focus on how women are telling their stories to hurt men, and not appreciating how, without hurting anyone, or trying to hate on men, or trying to get men to lose their jobs or go to jail, that these conversations can happen in a way that makes both parties feel better about each other.

To those of you who are on the fence, skeptical, wondering -- Please take the time to ask your female friends and really listen. Do it not at a bar, and find a group of women old enough to have been in the workforce for a few years and experienced the kinds of behaviors the #MeToo crowd are talking about. Ask your mother, your aunts, your sister if they have ever experienced unwanted sexual contact or harassment. And pledge to listen without judging. Don't rationalize the behavior of the men who did whatever they did -- just listen to how the women you care about felt.

This is something all decent men need to truly hear and understand.

 

[Anti-PD1]

Damn, wish I worked where ya'll worked. This is the nurse motif at my hospital:

Just ask her out.

 

[Kr#36]

Honestly I'd rather have neither than have a nurse with an ax to grind if I was to come on too strong.



I think we've all seen in the news what "being a man" gets you if you read the signals wrong. FFS Al Franken just got kicked out of the senate for kissing a woman without her consent! That could be this guy if he's not careful. Hell it could be any of us...

Being a normal, confident, direct human being will not get you arrested for sexual assault despite what the news tells you.

 

[TypeADissection]

The corollary to this is: Don't dip your pen in company ink

 

[arcus]

As for the #metoo campaign... it's high time women can speak up about assault. With that said, they should be punished for falsely accusing.

It appears Senator Chuck Schumer of NY was falsely accused of sexual harassment and he responded by filing a police complaint. Legal scholar Professor Johnathan Turley wrote on his blog:

“This is a vicious attack on Schumer that vividly illustrates the hatefilled madness that has taken so many citizens on both the left and the right in today’s poisonous political environment.”​

OTOH, it also appears a prominent attorney was paying women to bring charges against President Trump according to The Hill

California lawyer Lisa Bloom’s efforts included offering to sell alleged victims’ stories to TV outlets in return for a commission for herself, arranging a donor to pay off one Trump accuser’s mortgage and attempting to secure a six-figure payment for another woman who ultimately declined to come forward after being offered as much as $750,000, the clients told The Hill.​

This is all to say that alprazolam should be dumped into our national water supply.

At this rate humans will soon be extinct for failure to exchange genetic material. Bacteria don't have this problem.

 

[Crayola227]

It appears Senator Chuck Schumer of NY was falsely accused of sexual harassment and he responded by filing a police complaint. Legal scholar Professor Johnathan Turley wrote on his blog:

“This is a vicious attack on Schumer that vividly illustrates the hatefilled madness that has taken so many citizens on both the left and the right in today’s poisonous political environment.”​

OTOH, it also appears a prominent attorney was paying women to bring charges against President Trump according to The Hill

California lawyer Lisa Bloom’s efforts included offering to sell alleged victims’ stories to TV outlets in return for a commission for herself, arranging a donor to pay off one Trump accuser’s mortgage and attempting to secure a six-figure payment for another woman who ultimately declined to come forward after being offered as much as $750,000, the clients told The Hill.​

This is all to say that alprazolam should be dumped into our national water supply.

At this rate humans will soon be extinct for failure to exchange genetic material. Bacteria don't have this problem.

lol I'm with you the alprazolam in the water, but not that we're going to fail to exchange genetic material.

In fact, I might argue that a lot of this hullabaloo is a direct result of just how easy free and how much we do in fact exchange fluids.

Mother Nature doesn't care how it's done as long as it's done. It's getting done. It's just problematic, as always. Again, she doesn't care.

 

[Osteoth]

Being a normal, confident, direct human being will not get you arrested for sexual assault despite what the news tells you.

I mean I agree, obviously, but like I said earlier the words "sexual harassment" get thrown around on a daily basis, which makes me very very cautious when entering into any situation like this considering those two words can pretty much end your life.

 

[MedicineZ0Z]

I don't know how true all this is, since I know some medical students at my school who are decent looking but not incredibly attractive that are dating nurses. And I don't consider myself to be very attractive yet I have been hit on by a nurse as well as several students in my class. What I do lack is confidence, largely from lack of experience in asking women out (because they did in the past) and failed relationships.

A bit of a difference between just any nurse and a good looking one. Same concept applies to anyone

 

[Baxter911]

So there's a cute nurse on my floor that I'm interested in, and I think she might be into me based on how much she's been looking at me. I'm unsure how to get something going. I've had a nurse my age just talk to me casually before, but I never seized that opportunity, and I feel really dumb now. I'm not dating my classmates because they're mean and I had a bad experience. I figure even if she rejects me, I only have another week on this floor. Any ideas?

Nurses are mean too, and most don't want to date doctors. An intellect without the ego is much preferred.

 

[arcus]

Good looking guys get away with INSANE stuff that anyone doing would get them charged.....Advances from a pretty attractive guy are welcomed by almost all girls and give many an ego boost. But some run of the mill guy? "What a creep."

I have looked at Harvey Weinstein’s photos for the past many weeks and for the life of me the guy looks absolutely gross. No matter the black tux, red carpet, glamorous event, the guy just screams fugly. He could stop a Mack truck just by looking at it. Donald Trump, Bill Clinton, Bill O’Oreilly, Bill Cosby, Judge Roy Moore, Al Franken, et al....all yuk. If anything it is the hideous yet powerful men who are the real dangers. Matt Lauer, however, is absolutely gorgeous but every bit a pig. It is all about power. Regardless of looks.

OP is going through Erik Erikson’s “Intimacy vs Isolation” stage. He will evolve eventually. lets not conflate OP seeking advice to sexual predators.

It does strike me as odd though that educated, intelligent, driven, focused, OCD, future medical professional leaders lack the confidence on what should have been mastered during adolescence.

Then there is this Salt Lake City college student who asked an instructor for help in asking a student for a date.

SLCC student asks teacher for help in asking girl out on a date

SALT LAKE CITY - Jacob Moreno, a math student at Salt Lake Community College, made a brutally honest admission on Twitter.

“Too I have about 0 skills when it comes to texting girls so I legit asked my English professor to help.”​

With that English utilization this kid is not ready to launch... period.

Dont ask your Attending, OP.

 

[boogaaloo]

What a rollercoaster of a thread. OP, JUST ASK HER OUT. /thread.

 

[YeaJeets2]

I see you are new here.

LOLed at this at work, thank you

 

[evilbooyaa]

I have looked at Harvey Weinstein’s photos for the past many weeks and for the life of me the guy looks absolutely gross. No matter the black tux, red carpet, glamorous event, the guy just screams fugly. He could stop a Mack truck just by looking at it. Donald Trump, Bill Clinton, Bill O’Oreilly, Bill Cosby, Judge Roy Moore, Al Franken, et al....all yuk. If anything it is the hideous yet powerful men who are the real dangers. Matt Lauer, however, is absolutely gorgeous but every bit a pig. It is all about power. Regardless of looks.

Dude, all those people are rich and influential as hell. You think Hugh Hefner was a good looking dude in his 80s? No, he had power and influence. You can have money and power, or you can be good looking.

 

[TheIllusionist]

If you are average looking you just have to play a numbers game. Regardless, to maximize efficiency

First you get the money; then you get the power;then you get the women.

Tony Montana

Gun for plastics

 

[Crayola227]

you could also try a personality transplant

sure, guys often say that girls don't care about personality, but in my experience it was all the obnoxious ones

really, girls care about more than money, power, looks, not that I'm saying those don't matter either

 

[TheIllusionist]

Oh I'm talking about how to get conventional life success, while at the same time maximizing the number of beautiful women one can sleep with. The advice is purely for average and ugly looking guys. I've been blessed with above average looks, so I've noticed that I can do and say a lot of wrong stuff an be fine. Friends with way better personalities than mine and loads more confidence, often still do a good bit worse. Very poor return on investment. Money and power is much better and affords you oh so much more.

Now if we are talking about a non good looking guy that just wants A pretty girlfriend (who he also likes personality wise) and not to sleep with many pretty girls, then yeah working on personality is imperative. One needs to come off as edgy, charming, suave, funny, etc. Additionally playing the numbers game is still important, as always. No harm in asking out many women constantly, when one is single.

But it's best done not at work. If you want to date a hot nurse, go find one at a bar or hell the grocery store.

Most guys don't ask advice about how to date the ugly girl who they think has a really awesome personality. They mostly ask it about a girl with an equally good personality but far superior conventional physical appearance.

On a side note, one very good looking med student I know has literally an excel file of all the girls he has slept with. It's something like 200. He never ever asks girls out. He just use a tinder. Half the time girls just show up to his place directly. He is best described as having the personality of stale kale, as per the collective opinion of several girls in my class. He's a pure sociopath.

 

[boogaaloo]

On a side note, one very good looking med student I know has literally an excel file of all the girls he has slept with. It's something like 200. He never ever asks girls out. He just use a tinder. Half the time girls just show up to his place directly. He is best described as having the personality of stale kale, as per the collective opinion of several girls in my class. He's a pure sociopath.

That sounds like a lie. Even 100 is an aspiration for most people. The tinder bit sounds like a lie too. Girls don't show up at a stranger's place, unless they're really hard up for sex....or fat..or ugly..or both.

 

[Stagg737]

@thatawkguy please let us know the results when/if you ask here out. There's too much buildup in this thread to leave us hanging.

Being a normal, confident, direct human being will not get you arrested for sexual assault despite what the news tells you.

Generally I agree, but I've actually seen a guy get accused of harassment (both sexual and non) when he didn't even ask a girl out or make a joke. On time the guy literally just patted her shoulder in a completely non-sexual, non violating way and told her "good job" when he was training her for a position. A day later he got called into the manager's office and told he was being accused of sexual harassment and that was literally their only physical interaction she was accusing him of. I know this because I saw the interaction and got called in by the manager as a witness. The girl actually quit a week or so later, so it wasn't an ongoing issue, but it ended up getting reported that someone had made a sexual harassment complaint against the guy which was required to be reported to the city where I lived. He actually had a hard time getting manager positions for a while after that, which is f'd up because he literally did nothing wrong, and some overly anxious person (idk if she had actual trauma in the past or if she was just anxious, but she certainly had some issues) freaked out that someone touched her, in a completely appropriate way, as a "congratulations" for doing something right. I know how ridiculous that sounds, but it legitimately made me weary of how I dealt with anyone for quite a while. I've also seen other, more ridiculous, accusations occur (far more serious accusations as well) which nearly destroyed people's lives and resulted in pretty horrible consequences for the accused anyway. One of them in particular was a person being a "normal, confident, direct human being" who went above and beyond to help someone in need, who then got accused of rape.

I'm all in support of people speaking out against sexual assault and for our society to take it as seriously as it should be taken. I also believe someone when they come out and say that they were assaulted/raped/whatever by another person, and support any of those accusations being seriously investigated. I've just also seen first hand how ridiculous, poorly adjusted, or just plain malicious some people are, so I don't make assumptions about anything until people actually investigate it.

 

[TheIllusionist]

Oh I'm talking about how to get conventional life success, while at the same time maximizing the number of beautiful women one can sleep with. The advice is purely for average and ugly looking guys. I've been blessed with above average looks, so I've noticed that I can do and say a lot of wrong stuff an be fine. Friends with way better personalities than mine and loads more confidence, often still do a good bit worse. Very poor return on investment. Money and power is much better and affords you oh so much more.

Now if we are talking about a non good looking guy that just wants A pretty girlfriend (who he also likes personality wise) and not to sleep with many pretty girls, then yeah working on personality is imperative. One needs to come off as edgy, charming, suave, funny, etc. Additionally playing the numbers game is still important, as always. No harm in asking out many women constantly, when one is single.

But it's best done not at work. If you want to date a hot nurse, go find one at a bar or hell the grocery store.

Most guys don't ask advice about how to date the ugly girl who they think has a really awesome personality. They mostly ask it about a girl with an equally good personality but far superior conventional physical appearance.

On a side note, one very good looking med student I know has literally an excel file of all the girls he has slept with. It's something like 200. He never ever asks girls out. He just use a tinder. Half the time girls just show up to his place directly. He is best described as having the personality of stale kale, as per the collective opinion of several girls in my class. He's a pure sociopath.

That sounds like a lie. Even 100 is an aspiration for most people. The tinder bit sounds like a lie too. Girls don't show up at a stranger's place, unless they're really hard up for sex....or fat..or ugly..or both.

I thought it was too. I don't blame you at all for not believing. It was hard for me to accept, until I saw it. Then I went to a conference with this kid and he had 3 different girls over in 5 nights. They were all from tinder. He met them at the hotel bar for maybe 20min tops. You'd be shocked how easy it is for guys at the top. I know I was.

I live around nyc. This kid gets literally 15 to 20 matches a day on both tinder and bumble. Steady flow of options. Also, this guy is mid 20s and lost his virginity at like 13. Over 10 years, so you need what a couple girls a month to hit his numbers.

 

[Crayola227]

wow so impressed, what an achievement

 

[TheIllusionist]

wow so impressed, what an achievement

Lol he actually doesn't make a big deal out of it. He's almost embrassed of it and doesn't want word to get around about it at all.

In reality, even he knows it's just superficial.

 

[MedicineZ0Z]

Dude, all those people are rich and influential as hell. You think Hugh Hefner was a good looking dude in his 80s? No, he had power and influence. You can have money and power, or you can be good looking.

I don't think it's good to compare regular people to the ultra-influential and elite.

That sounds like a lie. Even 100 is an aspiration for most people. The tinder bit sounds like a lie too. Girls don't show up at a stranger's place, unless they're really hard up for sex....or fat..or ugly..or both.

Not sure if you're being serious or trolling?


Any guy who does well on tinder can have girls come over the same day they match. Those same girls will tell the average looking guys they sometimes match with that they want something serious or whatever.

If you are average looking you just have to play a numbers game. Regardless, to maximize efficiency

First you get the money; then you get the power;then you get the women.

Tony Montana

Gun for plastics

Well this isn't the 80s or 90s anymore. Money/power is of minimal importance.

 

[Crayola227]

Lol he actually doesn't make a big deal out of it. He's almost embrassed of it and doesn't want word to get around about it at all.

In reality, even he knows it's just superficial.

if that's true, why build an excel sheet and tell you about it? you said he was a sociopath

sounds creepy as hell

 

[thatawkguy]

Lol he actually doesn't make a big deal out of it. He's almost embrassed of it and doesn't want word to get around about it at all.

In reality, even he knows it's just superficial.

Is this guy a male model or something?

 

[TheIllusionist]

Is this guy a male model or something?

Essentially yes. His lookalike but not twin brother is actually one.

And lol at money and power not mattering. There's a reason most neurosurgeons at my hospital are divorced and with women 20+ years younger them, despite looking like a sack of potatoes.

His childhood friend mentioned the sheet, when we were all drinking. I asked to see it and he reluctantly showed me. And he doesn't come off creepy. But yeah the whole sheet thing is

 

[MedicineZ0Z]

Essentially yes. His lookalike but not twin brother is actually one.

And lol at money and power not mattering. There's a reason most neurosurgeons at my hospital are divorced and with women 20+ years younger them, despite looking like a sack of potatoes.

His childhood friend mentioned the sheet, when we were all drinking. I asked to see it and he reluctantly showed me. And he doesn't come off creepy. But yeah the whole sheet thing is

So being a sugar daddy means money/power is super important? Anyone can do it if they have the cash. They make arrangements. Also just cause someone is younger doesn't mean they're magically attractive.
In my experience, rich guys or men in positions of power are largely always within their own league of looks when dating (not sugar daddying).

 

[TheIllusionist]

So being a sugar daddy means money/power is super important? Anyone can do it if they have the cash. They make arrangements. Also just cause someone is younger doesn't mean they're magically attractive.
In my experience, rich guys or men in positions of power are largely always within their own league of looks when dating (not sugar daddying).

You don't think all things held equal that rich guys won't have significantly better looking wives relative to poor guys??? There's enough literature showing independent positive effects of wealth on dating marketability. Regardless, if anecdotally you see something that I don't, well I guess we can agree to disagree.

Mating markets and bargaining hands: Mate preferences for attractiveness and resources in two national U.S. studies - ScienceDirect

"According to a “mating market” approach, people with desirable traits have a stronger “bargaining hand” and can be more selective when choosing partners. We examined how heterosexual mate preferences varied by gender, age, personal income, education, and appearance satisfaction (Study 1 N = 22,815; Study 2 N = 4790). Men and women differed in the percentage indicating it was “desirable” or “essential” that their potential partner was good-looking (92% vs. 84%; d = .39), had a slender body (80% vs. 58%; d = .53), had a steady income (74% vs. 97%; d = 1.17), and made/will make a lot of money (47% vs. 69%; d = −.49). There were also gender differences in whether it was “very important” or “a must have” their partner made at least as much money as they do (24% vs. 46%; d = .60) and had a successful career (33% vs. 61%; d = .57), but not in whether their partner was physically attractive to them (40% vs. 42%; d = .03). Wealthier men and people with better appearance satisfaction had stronger preferences for good looking and slender partners. Preferences varied within and between genders, and were linked to bargaining hand in the mating market."

 

[MedicineZ0Z]

You don't think all things held equal that rich guys won't have significantly better looking wives relative to poor guys??? There's enough literature showing independent positive effects of wealth on dating marketability. Regardless, if anecdotally you see something that I don't, well I guess we can agree to disagree.

Mating markets and bargaining hands: Mate preferences for attractiveness and resources in two national U.S. studies - ScienceDirect

"According to a “mating market” approach, people with desirable traits have a stronger “bargaining hand” and can be more selective when choosing partners. We examined how heterosexual mate preferences varied by gender, age, personal income, education, and appearance satisfaction (Study 1 N = 22,815; Study 2 N = 4790). Men and women differed in the percentage indicating it was “desirable” or “essential” that their potential partner was good-looking (92% vs. 84%; d = .39), had a slender body (80% vs. 58%; d = .53), had a steady income (74% vs. 97%; d = 1.17), and made/will make a lot of money (47% vs. 69%; d = −.49). There were also gender differences in whether it was “very important” or “a must have” their partner made at least as much money as they do (24% vs. 46%; d = .60) and had a successful career (33% vs. 61%; d = .57), but not in whether their partner was physically attractive to them (40% vs. 42%; d = .03). Wealthier men and people with better appearance satisfaction had stronger preferences for good looking and slender partners. Preferences varied within and between genders, and were linked to bargaining hand in the mating market."

They do, but the world doesn't work like that. Things are never "equal" and under these "all else equal" scenarios we could put in an infinite number of variables. Sure, all else equal being rich or being whatever X job of high status will help (a lot). But in practice there are enough good looking guys who make enough money to attract the better looking women. What ultimately happen is that the girl will reject the guy based off of his looks long before she even knows his income.

Also any decent attractive girl is taken unless she's like 19 or 20. Very few guys see good money before their 30s (and often not until 40s). So this argument is a moot point.

 

[TheIllusionist]

They do, but the world doesn't work like that. Things are never "equal" and under these "all else equal" scenarios we could put in an infinite number of variables. Sure, all else equal being rich or being whatever X job of high status will help (a lot). But in practice there are enough good looking guys who make enough money to attract the better looking women. What ultimately happen is that the girl will reject the guy based off of his looks long before she even knows his income.

Also any decent attractive girl is taken unless she's like 19 or 20. Very few guys see good money before their 30s (and often not until 40s). So this argument is a moot point.

False. I've seen enough single hot women in their mid 20s to mid 30s. Frequently, I've seem them date rich guys who are in their mid 40s to early 50s. Just go to any bar in NYC. There are loads of single young women, who are "decently attractive" and not "taken" and are clearly above 19 or 20. People breakup and divorces along with cheating happen all the time. Plenty of hot women of all ages walking around that aren't taken.

There are enough girls out there willing to sacrifice some of their preferences for looks in exchange for a man with more financial resources. Yeah maybe they are an 8 and always wanted a 9. In the end, many, from what I've seen, don't mind settling for a rich 5 or 6. One thing is for sure. Those women are far more likely to cheat with a man on their desired looks scale . And this is just in the developed world...

 

[MedicineZ0Z]

False. I've seen enough single hot women in their mid 20s to mid 30s. Frequently, I've seem them date rich guys who are in their mid 40s to early 50s. Just go to any bar in NYC. There are loads of single young women, who are "decently attractive" and not "taken" and are clearly above 19 or 20. People breakup and divorces along with cheating happens all the time. Plenty of hot women of all ages walking around that aren't taken.

There are enough girls out there willing to sacrifice some of their preferences for looks in exchange for a man with more financial resources. Yeah maybe they are an 8 and always wanted a 9. In the end, many, from what I've seen, don't mind settling for a rich 5 or 6. And this is just in the developed world...

single & hot = / = quality every time
NYC is the least representative place you could name
Most of those "couples" are sugar daddy arrangements. I'm guessing you aren't aware how common they are?

Also being a "rich 6" means being a legit millionaire and better looking than the majority of men. This isn't a simple criteria

 

[TheIllusionist]

single & hot = / = quality every time
NYC is the least representative place you could name
Most of those "couples" are sugar daddy arrangements. I'm guessing you aren't aware how common they are?

You are delusional, if you think all more attractive women older rich man pairings are purely sugar daddy arrangements. Women do lower their looks standard to marry richer men. It's been happening, since the beginning of civilization. NYC is very representative. It is one of the most diverse and populous places in the world. You see all sorts of stuff. Maybe in some small Midwestern town all of these so called "decent" girls are taken by 19 or 20. But it's revolting to believe that the majority of all "decent" women are "taken" by then. Plenty of women with great values, personality, and intellect, who also happen to be pretty hot, that aren't taken by 19 or 20.

Also I'm talking about a rich 5 with an 8. The 5 is 40. The 8 is like 29. I'm not talking about Anna Nicole Smith or Hugh Hefner type of ****. An average looking guy can definitely improve his options in the dating market by moving up income brackets. Are there some people with social disabilities that are beyond help? Sure. But that's not the majority.

Here's my other theory and that this part is my own musings so bear with me:

It's not a linear effect, when it comes to men attracting women. It's a threshold effect. Once you pass a certain threshold, things become way way easier. Below it, things are a nightmare. Some people are close enough to it, and only need a bit of a boost. Money helps those people the most. But again, this part is just my own perhaps wacky idea.

 

[MedicineZ0Z]

You are delusional, if you think all more attractive women older rich man pairings are purely sugar daddy arrangements. Women do lower their looks standard to marry richer men. It's been happening, since the beginning of civilization. NYC is very representative. It is one of the most diverse and populous places in the world. You see all sorts of stuff. Maybe in some small Midwestern town all of these so called "decent" girls are taken by 19 or 20. But it's revolting to believe that the majority of all "decent" women are "taken" by then. Plenty of women with great values, personality, and intellect, who also happen to be pretty hot, that aren't taken by 19 or 20.

Also I'm talking about a rich 5 with an 8. The 5 is 40. The 8 is like 29. I'm not talking about Anna Nicole Smith or Hugh Hefner type of ****. An average looking guy can definitely improve his options in the dating market by moving up income brackets. Are there some people with social disabilities that are beyond help? Sure. But that's not the majority.

Here's my other theory and that this part is my own musings so bear with me:

It's not a linear effect, when it comes to men attracting women. It's a threshold effect. Once you pass a certain threshold, things become way way easier. Below it, things are a nightmare. Some people are close enough to it, and only need a bit of a boost. Money helps those people the most. But again, this part is just my own perhaps wacky idea.

You're picking out very specific scenarios and looking at a very narrow percentage of the population (rich 30-40 year olds, which make up like <0.1% of the male population tops). Plus assuming that there's no middle ground between Manhattan & a small midwest town despite almost the whole country being a middle ground.
You're also delusional if you think women are faithful to men that far below them in looks. That part has also been happening since the beginning of civilization

 

[arcus]

wow so impressed, what an achievement

He fits the profile of a crystal meth dealer ....just saying

Then I went to a conference with this kid and he had 3 different girls over in 5 nights. They were all from tinder.

Shameless Season 8 Premiere Recap: Tinder, ICE and Meth, Oh My!

 

[TheIllusionist]

You're picking out very specific scenarios and looking at a very narrow percentage of the population (rich 30-40 year olds, which make up like <0.1% of the male population tops). Plus assuming that there's no middle ground between Manhattan & a small midwest town despite almost the whole country being a middle ground.
You're also delusional if you think women are faithful to men that far below them in looks. That part has also been happening since the beginning of civilization

Most of the country is a middle ground between nyc and a tiny town.

Women or men cheating has more to do with character issues than looks disparities. Most just divorce. And that range of men is what I'm talking about for guys that want to use money to elevate their status to get higher quality women than they could get before.

Women cheat on attractive husbands and vice versa all the time.

The dating game is competitive. A 5 ENT surgeon has way more options than a 5 school teacher. People are superficial. Your whole worth in the dating game is about status you project and that's what helps generate attraction. Status is composed of money, power, popularity (rep or fame) and looks. Charm aka game teaches you how to fake status. Confidence correlates with status so showing it can help as well. More wealth just helps you in the equation is all. Evidence just shows that women give relatively more weight to the non looks parts of the equations.

 

[TheIllusionist]

He fits the profile of a crystal meth dealer ....just saying



Shameless Season 8 Premiere Recap: Tinder, ICE and Meth, Oh My!

Don't get me started on university drug dealers haha. It's candyland for them, especially if they sell coke.

 

[Instatewaiter]

Tell her casually "I need help with my diagnosis. My heart beats fast when I see you, but it subsides when you're not around. Can you tell me what I have".

Her: A strong liklihood of being alone forever.

 

[thatawkguy]

Med school is a time in my life when I've done things I never thought I would. One of my darkest secrets is a couple months ago, some of the guys in my class were talking about the hot girls they'd been with recently. I'm not very good with girls, and I felt pretty insecure and I ended up going home that day and doing a cam show online (I'm a guy with a good body) for compliments.

 

[MedicineZ0Z]

Most of the country is a middle ground between nyc and a tiny town.

Women or men cheating has more to do with character issues than looks disparities. Most just divorce. And that range of men is what I'm talking about for guys that want to use money to elevate their status to get higher quality women than they could get before.

Women cheat on attractive husbands and vice versa all the time.

The dating game is competitive. A 5 ENT surgeon has way more options than a 5 school teacher. People are superficial. Your whole worth in the dating game is about status you project and that's what helps generate attraction. Status is composed of money, power, popularity (rep or fame) and looks. Charm aka game teaches you how to fake status. Confidence correlates with status so showing it can help as well. More wealth just helps you in the equation is all. Evidence just shows that women give relatively more weight to the non looks parts of the equations.

And my point is a 8 teacher having more options than a 5-6 ENT

 

[TheIllusionist]

He fits the profile of a crystal meth

And my point is a 8 teacher having more options than a 5-6 ENT

8 it might be borderline. 8.5 yes but that's just semantics haha

And my pointis a 8 teacher having more options than a 5-6 ENT

more like 8.5 . But any boost for men is welcome. options go up exponentially after lag phase up to say 7 or 7.5

Also a lot of dating is based on friend family referral, especially more serious stuff. Seen doctors recommended way more often and more strongly. It's just an easier sell.

 

[arcus]

Med school is a time in my life when I've done things I never thought I would. One of my darkest secrets is a couple months ago, some of the guys in my class were talking about the hot girls they'd been with recently. I'm not very good with girls, and I felt pretty insecure and I ended up going home that day and doing a cam show online (I'm a guy with a good body) for compliments.

screen shots plz

 

[Mr. D.O.five]

Get lunch with her first once you find time in between shifts. Then after done eating at cafeteria and about to go back to shift, ask her on a date. Obviously make the words word to your favor as best as possible and be direct. Sometimes, girls won't see a "dinner" or a [insert cute activity here] as a date, so make sure she understands that, or the whole thing can be misconstrued, and boom, friendzoned.

 

[boogaaloo]

Any guy who does well on tinder can have girls come over the same day they match. Those same girls will tell the average looking guys they sometimes match with that they want something serious or whatever.

Only happens on r/tinder

 

[boogaaloo]

I thought it was too. I don't blame you at all for not believing. It was hard for me to accept, until I saw it. Then I went to a conference with this kid and he had 3 different girls over in 5 nights. They were all from tinder. He met them at the hotel bar for maybe 20min tops. You'd be shocked how easy it is for guys at the top. I know I was.

I live around nyc. This kid gets literally 15 to 20 matches a day on both tinder and bumble. Steady flow of options. Also, this guy is mid 20s and lost his virginity at like 13. Over 10 years, so you need what a couple girls a month to hit his numbers.

Yeah, that makes more sense.