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So this is not actually for me but on behalf of a close female friend....She has not posted this because she is not internet savvy.
Basically, she's in her late 30s, hasn't dated all that much and is very interested in marriage.
What she's been looking for is someone who is 1) a devout Christian; 2) well educated and doing reasonably well in life; 3) not previously married/divorced but widower OK and similar in age; 4) physically attractive to her.
She just recently started corresponding online with a man who meets a lot of her criteria. He's a devout Christian, he's an engineer with a steady job, he hasn't been married and takes relationships very seriously, he's a year older, and she finds him very attractive.
The problem is, he lives long distance and is ~750 miles away (as the crow flies), or ~870 miles away if you were driving. He has acknowledged that he is corresponding with other people but that if it became more serious, after a few days with said person(s) he would let her know and call it off.
He corresponds with her almost every day, writing very long email exchanges via the dating website. Oftentimes the quantity of text he writes gets beyond the word limit and parts are cut off. So he's not at a loss for words. He has stated he is trying to figure out the spiritual side of things - as friends - before taking it to the next level.
The two peculiar things are that 1) he keeps things relatively superficial and 2) he has not asked to exchange telephone numbers and move off of the dating service email into the telephone or Skype. She told her at the start that she feels that the man needs to make the moves, so he is aware that she is not someone who will necessarily take the lead here.
She's puzzled by the relatively superficial nature of his emails. He's not digging deep, writing paragraphs about his deeply personal vulnerable stuff, or even about theology, history, his job, her job, his family, etc. It's more like he touches on a lot of things she mentioned, answers the questions briefly and posits some counter questions, and does this with every email. I have different hypotheses regarding this, but wanted to ask the forum to get more opinions.
Questions:
1) What to make of no asking to take it to the telephone/Skype after 2 weeks? At what point should she suggest taking it to telephone or Skype? If things went well and they do take it to phone or Skype, when is the "normal" time frame to expect an IRL meetup, considering the distance of ~870 miles.
2) What to make of the somewhat superficial content and how to manage it? Is this "all" there is to him, or is he holding off of expressing deeply held or controversial opinions or talking about personal vulnerabilities until later? And in the mean time, should she do something to try to steer things more in that way, such as opening up more on her own perspectives?
Any help much appreciated.
Basically, she's in her late 30s, hasn't dated all that much and is very interested in marriage.
What she's been looking for is someone who is 1) a devout Christian; 2) well educated and doing reasonably well in life; 3) not previously married/divorced but widower OK and similar in age; 4) physically attractive to her.
She just recently started corresponding online with a man who meets a lot of her criteria. He's a devout Christian, he's an engineer with a steady job, he hasn't been married and takes relationships very seriously, he's a year older, and she finds him very attractive.
The problem is, he lives long distance and is ~750 miles away (as the crow flies), or ~870 miles away if you were driving. He has acknowledged that he is corresponding with other people but that if it became more serious, after a few days with said person(s) he would let her know and call it off.
He corresponds with her almost every day, writing very long email exchanges via the dating website. Oftentimes the quantity of text he writes gets beyond the word limit and parts are cut off. So he's not at a loss for words. He has stated he is trying to figure out the spiritual side of things - as friends - before taking it to the next level.
The two peculiar things are that 1) he keeps things relatively superficial and 2) he has not asked to exchange telephone numbers and move off of the dating service email into the telephone or Skype. She told her at the start that she feels that the man needs to make the moves, so he is aware that she is not someone who will necessarily take the lead here.
She's puzzled by the relatively superficial nature of his emails. He's not digging deep, writing paragraphs about his deeply personal vulnerable stuff, or even about theology, history, his job, her job, his family, etc. It's more like he touches on a lot of things she mentioned, answers the questions briefly and posits some counter questions, and does this with every email. I have different hypotheses regarding this, but wanted to ask the forum to get more opinions.
Questions:
1) What to make of no asking to take it to the telephone/Skype after 2 weeks? At what point should she suggest taking it to telephone or Skype? If things went well and they do take it to phone or Skype, when is the "normal" time frame to expect an IRL meetup, considering the distance of ~870 miles.
2) What to make of the somewhat superficial content and how to manage it? Is this "all" there is to him, or is he holding off of expressing deeply held or controversial opinions or talking about personal vulnerabilities until later? And in the mean time, should she do something to try to steer things more in that way, such as opening up more on her own perspectives?
Any help much appreciated.
