- Joined
- Feb 5, 2009
- Messages
- 610
- Reaction score
- 0
Okay so I posted a question in another thread but I'll ask here cause I need answers and well there's more complications .
So I've been in a very serious relationship now for almost one year . I've known this guy longer than that but to he and I, it feels like we've known eachother a lifetime . We're inlove and we care for eachother alot . From the time I was seven years old , I have always wanted to go to college to make something of myself, I've always believed there's so much more out there for me than what I can see right now . Along the years I've changed my major up about 10 times and that is no joke . But recently almost a year now I've wanted to become a doctor , a Clinical Psychologist in fact . I told him this was what I was considering at the time but I don't think he really payed much mind .... like guys do... so anyways .
I believe around November 2008 I started seriously looking for schools for psychology I came across a few , several wouldn't even give me a time of day but one finally did . So long story short , he found out I was applying he seemed okay until I got accepted and then saw how much I have been pursuing student loans to fund my education . He seemed to make jabs at what I wanted to do then claimed he was just playing ( I knew better ) . He mocked me sometimes cause I consider Dr. Phil one of my idols in psychology . We would argue from time to time about what i want to do , or he'd say you're in this for the ****ing money etc . I told him iI am cause of the profession , yea money is great but not the main reason why .
Today we had yet another argument and he threw kids up in my face , well he has a 6 yr old boy now with his ex gf which I am fine with but the boy will be 7 yrs old this december . He told me i want another child this time with you , I want to give my son a sibling before he gets too old . I'm like okay where did this come from cause we had a conversation that I wouldn't have any kids with him til i was about 29 years old ( i'm 22 years old now ) he's 7 years older than me so he's 28 going on 29 . Now it seems he has gone into a panic , he wants to have kids sooner with me caus ehe says his clock is ticking that he's getting older than when he wanted to be married and have more children . He wants to marry sooner and have kids sooner . The kicker is he wants me to put my career on hold for many years to raise a family with him...umm not my ideal thing right now . I admit I don't want any coming out of here anytime soon . I'm a virgin still so we're not doing it but I am afraid when we do he will find all ways possible to sabatoge my methods of birth control . I am on the pill but I want to use condoms as a backup he's not happy about that cause well it's almost fail proof with " both " . I want to know am I wrong for not wanting a family this soon and am I wrong or selfish to want my career first before a child ? I accept helping out with his current son but I don't want any of my own yet . He seems to be panicing cause he's almost 30 . Now he works 9-5 hr day jobs and he just recently wants to go to school but at my expense . He wants to further his career and make me a stay at home mom and he be the provider . It's not what i wanted nor what we talked about ...he wants to be a massage therapist and btw , he hates the length of years I'll be in school too...
I also want to add that he said in a perfect world,I'd be pregnant now and deliver by his son's birthday but he wants to start as early as next year ( early) and 2011 . I don't want this at all.
So I've been in a very serious relationship now for almost one year . I've known this guy longer than that but to he and I, it feels like we've known eachother a lifetime . We're inlove and we care for eachother alot . From the time I was seven years old , I have always wanted to go to college to make something of myself, I've always believed there's so much more out there for me than what I can see right now . Along the years I've changed my major up about 10 times and that is no joke . But recently almost a year now I've wanted to become a doctor , a Clinical Psychologist in fact . I told him this was what I was considering at the time but I don't think he really payed much mind .... like guys do... so anyways .
I believe around November 2008 I started seriously looking for schools for psychology I came across a few , several wouldn't even give me a time of day but one finally did . So long story short , he found out I was applying he seemed okay until I got accepted and then saw how much I have been pursuing student loans to fund my education . He seemed to make jabs at what I wanted to do then claimed he was just playing ( I knew better ) . He mocked me sometimes cause I consider Dr. Phil one of my idols in psychology . We would argue from time to time about what i want to do , or he'd say you're in this for the ****ing money etc . I told him iI am cause of the profession , yea money is great but not the main reason why .
Today we had yet another argument and he threw kids up in my face , well he has a 6 yr old boy now with his ex gf which I am fine with but the boy will be 7 yrs old this december . He told me i want another child this time with you , I want to give my son a sibling before he gets too old . I'm like okay where did this come from cause we had a conversation that I wouldn't have any kids with him til i was about 29 years old ( i'm 22 years old now ) he's 7 years older than me so he's 28 going on 29 . Now it seems he has gone into a panic , he wants to have kids sooner with me caus ehe says his clock is ticking that he's getting older than when he wanted to be married and have more children . He wants to marry sooner and have kids sooner . The kicker is he wants me to put my career on hold for many years to raise a family with him...umm not my ideal thing right now . I admit I don't want any coming out of here anytime soon . I'm a virgin still so we're not doing it but I am afraid when we do he will find all ways possible to sabatoge my methods of birth control . I am on the pill but I want to use condoms as a backup he's not happy about that cause well it's almost fail proof with " both " . I want to know am I wrong for not wanting a family this soon and am I wrong or selfish to want my career first before a child ? I accept helping out with his current son but I don't want any of my own yet . He seems to be panicing cause he's almost 30 . Now he works 9-5 hr day jobs and he just recently wants to go to school but at my expense . He wants to further his career and make me a stay at home mom and he be the provider . It's not what i wanted nor what we talked about ...he wants to be a massage therapist and btw , he hates the length of years I'll be in school too...
I also want to add that he said in a perfect world,I'd be pregnant now and deliver by his son's birthday but he wants to start as early as next year ( early) and 2011 . I don't want this at all.
Last edited: