I had a nightmare last night that is really messing with my ability to function at work today.
Some big scary guy came and held me hostage in my house.... he said that he knew how many financial/convenience euthanasias I've performed in my career (especially the last year) and how many times I've worked with owners to provide less than stellar care, and that I needed to pay for that. Then he started bringing in all kinds of obviously-healthy wildlife and forcing me (at gunpoint) to euthanize them. (I don't know nearly enough wildlife medicine to successfully euthanize anything, but that detail was glossed over in the dream and I DO love wildlife enough for that to be really traumatic/punishing for me!) Then he forced me to euthanize my own pets, one by one. I woke up in the middle of this, but I was supposed to die next.
I was pretty shaken by it... then checked the Timehop app on my phone this morning to see a status from 10 years ago that said "I just had a dream that I was forced to euthanize a human baby. Time for a career change."
This morning, I euthanized a dog that was hit by a car three weeks ago. For three weeks, the dog has had zero control of its bladder or bowels. The owner's sister brought it in after it was hit, but she only had $50 to her name and therefore declined everything except pain meds.
So, for three weeks this dog has been leaking pee and poo... but this morning, when the owner woke up and found that the dog ATE ITS OWN TAIL OVERNIGHT, they decided to euthanize. They didn't want to stay with the dog and bitched out the front desk staff over the fact that we charged them $110 for euthanasia & communal cremation.
I don't know if I'll make it until next Friday. My mental health is not good today. Today might need to be my last day.