Short and Asian for men is pretty much the kiss of death for dating in America

[touchpause13]

In what fantasy realm is Indian like being white?

I don't think he's saying that. I think he's saying that Indian guys are more white looking than say a Chinese or Japanese guy.

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[jakeislove]

I don't think he's saying that. I think he's saying that Indian guys are more white looking than say a Chinese or Japanese guy.

No culture is more obsessed with skin color. That's a given, LOL!

I was just shocked to read that someone actually believed it.

 

[lazyindy]

In what fantasy realm is Indian like being white?

caucasoid doesn't necessarily equate to exclusively being white. It refers to the earliest group of humans originating from the central Asia of which a specific subset of caucasian people called the Indo-Aryans or Indo-Europeans migrated to Europe and South Asia. India is extremely diverse and you can find people that are a mix of dravidians (dark australoid with unattractive features) in the south to mongoloids (eastern asian looking) and caucasoid ("white" features) in north india. And even after the migration the northern Indian region was invaded and conquered by Alexander the Great. check out the Stoddard race map:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caucasian_race#mediaviewer/File:Meyers_b11_s0476a.jpg

I personally am from North India (punjab) and the origin of punjabi language derives from sanskrit and persian. In fact up until the 16th century almost everyone in punjab spoke persian. Can you honestly spot any major differences in these guys except for hair/eye color?

white european:

north indian:

 

[lazyindy]

and I'd much rather date a feminine, loyal, and actually attractive foreign girl considering the average american girl's huge sense of entitlement, slutty behavior, unrealistic standards and over weight issues:

 

[jakeislove]

Not one of the Punjabi students I've met looked Caucasian.

It's a silly thing to say, regardless of word origin. The thought process (itself) does explain why blacks occasionally experience racism from Indian students, though.

 

[touchpause13]

Calls dark skinned people unattractive and American women slutty?

Troll

 

[lazyindy]

Not one of the Punjabi students I've met looked Caucasian.

It's a silly thing to say, regardless of word origin. The thought process (itself) does explain why blacks occasionally experience racism from Indian students, though.

Silly even when history and anthropological evidence states otherwise? You can't just take a small sample of a few punjabi's you've met in school and generalize based on that, I expect more from a medical student. And I don't know what you perceive being 'caucasian' as. This is a punjabi guy and when I went to Punjab a few years ago, on average the dudes had similar features, but then again I'm from a city area. I can even PM you pics of myself and some family members if you want.

Calls dark skinned people unattractive and American women slutty?

Troll

When I was describing the australoids I meant that they're overall features were unattractive not relating to skin color. Maybe I should have worded it better but why would it matter if I did? What different is it than people who chose partners based on height, ethnicity, looks, etc? End of the day its just a preference. Oh and frieda pinto is a somewhat dark indian but a lot of guys including me drool over her:

 

[touchpause13]

You have a preference for light skinned women. That's fine. But saying all dark skinned people are unattractive is rude as hell.

 

[jakeislove]

Silly even when history and anthropological evidence states otherwise? You can't just take a small sample of a few punjabi's you've met in school and generalize based on that, I expect more from a medical student. And I don't know what you perceive being 'caucasian' as. This is a punjabi guy and when I went to Punjab a few years ago, on average the dudes had similar features, but then again I'm from a city area. I can even PM you pics of myself and some family members if you want.

When I was describing the australoids I meant that they're overall features were unattractive not relating to skin color. Maybe I should have worded it better but why would it matter if I did? What different is it than people who chose partners based on height, ethnicity, looks, etc? End of the day its just a preference. Oh and frieda pinto is a somewhat dark indian but a lot of guys including me drool over her:

It may be a problem with the monitor but neither of them look white.

Girl is cute, though.

 

[touchpause13]

It may be a problem with the monitor but neither of them look white.

Girl is cute, though.

Seriously. None of the pix u have posted look white. It's not just being light skinned, their facial features don't look white.

 

[lazyindy]

You have a preference for light skinned women. That's fine. But saying all dark skinned people are unattractive is rude as hell.

tell me more about how you won't date a guy shorter than you.

 

[touchpause13]

tell me more about how you won't date a guy shorter than you.

Where did I say that?
And saying you wouldn't date a dark-skinned girl isn't the same thing as saying dark skinned girls are ugly.

 

[Modeselektor]

@lazyindy : Keep trying to be caucasian, you lil' loser. I'm punjabi, and from you I smell low-birth. The extent to which you wish to be white betrays this fact.

Also, zyzz (his avatar for everyone who doesn't know, this loser kid hates himself so much he fronts with an avatar of another guy who wears makeup) is a lil b.itch. It's hilarious you idolize someone who had to take steroids to look like that. Go die, seriously. Humanity can only benefit from your absence from future generations. What am I worried about anyways? Not like a self-hating b.itch like you will get laid.

Enjoy trying to get into medschool, dork.

 

[lazyindy]

@lazyindy : Keep trying to be caucasian, you lil' loser. I'm punjabi, and from you I smell low-birth. The extent to which you wish to be white betrays this fact.

Also, zyzz (his avatar for everyone who doesn't know, this loser kid hates himself so much he fronts with an avatar of another guy who wears makeup) is a lil b.itch. It's hilarious you idolize someone who had to take steroids to look like that. Go die, seriously. Humanity can only benefit from your absence from future generations. What am I worried about anyways? Not like a self-hating b.itch like you will get laid.

Enjoy trying to get into medschool, dork.

damn why you so salty bro? I'm not trying to be anything was just elaborating on a point. Guess you didn't enjoy the verbal part of the mcat too much huh? I'm actually really proud of my culture and it's rich history (of which I probably know more than you do).

My avatar is zyzz because he represents an alter ego of mine: freedom to express yourself, loving the haters, striving to become unique, confident, aesthetic. Yes he took steroids but he never encouraged anyone else to take them so why bash him for that? The fact that you needed to point out my avatar to belittle me just portrays your own insecurity and frustrations. Don't worry about me 'getting laid' - I was scoring at the same age that you probably didn't know how to talk to girls and slaved away in your room with your parents forcing you to go to medical school. So relax with the childish name calling and insults, it only makes you appear immature, 'self-hating' and bitter. Is this the kind of vibe you want to give off as a future practicing physician? didnt think so. Lighten up a bit, maybe you'll get laid sooner or later.

Also I'm scoring in the 40 range on my practice exams so I'm definitely going to enjoy the admissions process.

 

[Promethean]

ITT: Indian who wants to be accepted as basically just European. More or less. If you ignore hair color, eye color, bone structure and feature shape.

Persian people look Persian. Yes, a lot of North Indians have Persian ancestry. And it shows in the features. I can't always tell an Iranian from a Pakistani from a Punjabi, just on looks. So what?

I've noticed that a lot of light skinned Indians are racist against darker skinned Indians, particularly those from the south. It really isn't different than American regional racism, except that it has been going on for many hundreds of years longer... and that most European-derived Americans can't tell the difference between Punjabi and Kerala. A dear friend, and otherwise very enlightened, Indian-American attending was recently explaining that she and her family would be utterly humiliated if she were darker skinned than her husband, and that since she is NOT so light skinned, this makes it very hard for her to find an Indian man to marry. Apparently, the paper bag test is meaningful in matrimonial selection, at least among her social group.

It is disheartening to me that people who are physicians or physicians-in-training still put so much stock in our superficial differences. If doctors can't see that people are people, no matter the minor variations in their physiognomy and phenotype, what hope is there for our species?

 

[Modeselektor]

damn why you so salty bro? I'm not trying to be anything was just elaborating on a point. Guess you didn't enjoy the verbal part of the mcat too much huh? I'm actually really proud of my culture and it's rich history (of which I probably know more than you do).

My avatar is zyzz because he represents an alter ego of mine: freedom to express yourself, loving the haters, striving to become unique, confident, aesthetic. Yes he took steroids but he never encouraged anyone else to take them so why bash him for that? The fact that you needed to point out my avatar to belittle me just portrays your own insecurity and frustrations. Don't worry about me 'getting laid' - I was scoring at the same age that you probably didn't know how to talk to girls and slaved away in your room with your parents forcing you to go to medical school. So relax with the childish name calling and insults, it only makes you appear immature, 'self-hating' and bitter. Is this the kind of vibe you want to give off as a future practicing physician? didnt think so. Lighten up a bit, maybe you'll get laid sooner or later.

Also I'm scoring in the 40 range on my practice exams so I'm definitely going to enjoy the admissions process.

Hahahaha. I came back from a party, drunk-posted and you got all butt-hurt about it. If you're so ready go write the real thing at your next opportunity. This is the part where you expect me to talk about why I'm awesome, but unlike you on a saturday night/sunday morning I couldn't give less of a f.uck what someone on the internet thinks.

 

[jakeislove]

ITT: Indian who wants to be accepted as basically just European. More or less. If you ignore hair color, eye color, bone structure and feature shape.

Persian people look Persian. Yes, a lot of North Indians have Persian ancestry. And it shows in the features. I can't always tell an Iranian from a Pakistani from a Punjabi, just on looks. So what?

I've noticed that a lot of light skinned Indians are racist against darker skinned Indians, particularly those from the south. It really isn't different than American regional racism, except that it has been going on for many hundreds of years longer... and that most European-derived Americans can't tell the difference between Punjabi and Kerala. A dear friend, and otherwise very enlightened, Indian-American attending was recently explaining that she and her family would be utterly humiliated if she were darker skinned than her husband, and that since she is so light skinned, this makes it very hard for her to find an Indian man to marry. Apparently, the paper bag test is meaningful in matrimonial selection, at least among her social group.

It is disheartening to me that people who are physicians or physicians-in-training still put so much stock in our superficial differences. If doctors can't see that people are people, no matter the minor variations in their physiognomy and phenotype, what hope is there for our species?

Do lighter girls still get married sooner?

 

[Promethean]

Do lighter girls still get married sooner?

I'm not qualified to answer on behalf of an entire culture. All I have is anecdata based on the attitudes expressed by a few people that I know.

 

[lazyindy]

@Promethean I'm not trying to be accepted as european lmao. What is it with some white people and this superiority complex deluding them to think everyone worships them? I was trying to elucidate a recent common ancestry among central asians, europeans, and indians.

 

[Promethean]

@Promethean I'm not trying to be accepted as european lmao. What is it with some white people and this superiority complex deluding them to think everyone worships them? I was trying to elucidate a recent common ancestry among central asians, europeans, and indians.

This is how you spend Diwali?

 

[frampton2013]

I will say this, in addressing the original post about short Asian men dating in the US -

There is a strong bias against Asian men as it is in the dating world for whatever reason (could be due to their facial features, youthful appearance, smaller frame, etc.) But the truth is that if I had a choice between looking like the fat average white dude (who is an ideal candidate to develop diabetes, heart disease, pancreatic cancer, high blood pressure and everything else before he even hits 40) and the young looking Asian guy who can pass for 25 years old even when he is closer to 45, I will take the appearance of the Asian guy any day. Asian men are healthier than the fat white Americans. They have fewer diseases to contend with later in life, and they have a better overall diet. And most of the fit guys I see in the gym are Asian - not white. IF American women prefer these white lards to the nice Asian guys (even the shorter ones), then that is their own fault. American women certainly have the right to be stupid. In fact, as an Asian guy I believe the short doctor is much better off NOT EVER dating or marrying an American white female. Sure, it is terrible and inhumane for these American white diabetic cows to dismiss you like that, but we live in a superficial society. You are a smart and caring Asian man, with a great career in the medical profession ahead of you. You probably have a great sense of humor and just want to be in a committed relationship with a halfway decent female in this society. Your only flaw (if you can even call it that) is your short stature. Do yourself a favor my friend - don't waste anymore time with these white women. But then the issue becomes whether or not you can find a nice Asian girl in this society? Sadly, the Asian women in America are even worse that their Caucasian counterparts.

I know an Asian doctor who recently fell in love (mistakenly) with a hot Asian woman. They started getting around to talking about the engagement, at which time she responded that she would only accept an engagement ring of at least $35,000. Anything less would be unacceptable. Asian women in the US tend to be very superficial because they know that many Asian guys are desperate for female companionship and will do most anything to please Miss Shallow Asian princess (if the Asian princess doesn't get what she wants, she can always run away with the white middle aged lard ass).

The whole point here is that Caucasian or Asian - women in the US are shallow hookers who will only sell themselves to the highest bidder. Your best bet is to find a nice Asian girl overseas and then marry her. Women in other countries have better values and know what they want from a relationship. (and I guarantee that your height will not be an issue to them) Not only that but I believe that you can find an attractive one too. Stay away from this BS dating game. Most American women are completely clueless about what they want, and more importantly, what it takes to make a real relationship work.

Good luck....

 

[frampton2013]

From my understanding, darker skinned indian women have it bad in India. Their society is even more racist than here in the US.

 

[Zweihander]

Sure, it is terrible and inhumane for these American white diabetic cows to dismiss you like that, but we live in a superficial society.

Ah, the irony of people lamenting how superficial girls are, while at the same time referring to them as fat and unattractive...

If being superficial is bad, it's *probably* bad when either gender does it.

 

[fancymylotus]

I've met a ton of Caucasian guys who have this weird fantasy of being with an Indian girl. I dont get it.

I most certainly do not look "white"....I'm not super dark, but I am not exactly paper-white, either.

 

[frampton2013]

Ah, the irony of people lamenting how superficial girls are, while at the same time referring to them as fat and unattractive...

If being superficial is bad, it's *probably* bad when either gender does it.

Many American women are fat and diabetic. But that is not what makes them unattractive; it is their negative attitude towards men and their inability to understand what it takes to make a relationship work.

 

[frampton2013]

I have yet to meet an American Caucasian female who DOES NOT have a negative attitude towards dating and entering a serious commitment with men.

 

[touchpause13]

 

[mercaptovizadeh]

Silly even when history and anthropological evidence states otherwise? You can't just take a small sample of a few punjabi's you've met in school and generalize based on that, I expect more from a medical student. And I don't know what you perceive being 'caucasian' as. This is a punjabi guy and when I went to Punjab a few years ago, on average the dudes had similar features, but then again I'm from a city area. I can even PM you pics of myself and some family members if you want.

When I was describing the australoids I meant that they're overall features were unattractive not relating to skin color. Maybe I should have worded it better but why would it matter if I did? What different is it than people who chose partners based on height, ethnicity, looks, etc? End of the day its just a preference. Oh and frieda pinto is a somewhat dark indian but a lot of guys including me drool over her:

These people have Caucasian facial features. It's an Indian variant, but it's Caucasian for sure.

The white people who think Caucasian means

Are just looking at one variant of European. There are plenty of Europeans who have features much closer to the Indian range of Caucasian:

 

[lazyindy]

^thank you!

 

[HobbitJane]

I have yet to meet an American Caucasian female who DOES NOT have a negative attitude towards dating and entering a serious commitment with men.

Maybe you need to stop approaching stuck up girls. Some girls who are pretty have a sense of entitlement and "Daddy's Little Girl" Syndrome, so they do not feel the need to be decent human beings unless they are getting something out of it or saving face in front of their employer/family/administrators. Just change your perspective on what it means for a girl to be pretty and you will meet someone who treats you right. At this point you are only approaching a distinct segment of the population and not opening your mind to other possibilities; there are wonderful girls in every race who are not "fat and diabetic". If you do not make an effort, then you may not see the results you want.

 

[MelloTangelo]

No offense, but this thread just comes off as a bunch of bitter men making blanket assumptions about a group of women of a different race. Not to say that Asian men don't have their own struggles--I'm sure they do--but when you let that get to you and generalize about a whole group of people, it's really bad. You also have to stop completely blaming the other party. If you're having trouble in the dating sphere, maybe there's a problem with you, too, that you're unwilling to recognize (think Nice Guy syndrome, which is the vibe I get from some of your posts).

From my understanding, darker skinned indian women have it bad in India. Their society is even more racist than here in the US.

My .02 cents as an Indian woman with lighter skin: this is completely accurate, and it's really disgusting. Mind you, I don't really consider myself Indian outside of race, so I definitely have a different view of things. As much as I love my family, I've heard stories of how other members (that I don't know as well) have disapproved of someone's choice of partner because they're too dark. Mind you, they're still Indian, but too dark. Even now, when setting up an arranged marriage, one of the qualities my extended family looks in a mate for their son/daughter is 'fair skin'. Naturally, I've committed the ultimate crime by dating not just a non-Indian, but a British-born black man, and nothing hurts more than to hear your grandmother tell you to stop uploading pictures on Facebook because she's ashamed of her sisters and their family seeing them.

Also, as far as height goes, he's 5'8", so while he's not super short, he's not exactly tall. As a 5'0" girl, I don't want someone that I can't reach, so maybe some of you shorter guys need to start getting to know shorter girls.~

 

[HobbitJane]

Naturally, I've committed the ultimate crime by dating not just a non-Indian, but a British-born black man, and nothing hurts more than to hear your grandmother tell you to stop uploading pictures on Facebook because she's ashamed of her sisters and their family seeing them.

Also, as far as height goes, he's 5'8", so while he's not super short, he's not exactly tall. As a 5'0" girl, I don't want someone that I can't reach, so maybe some of you shorter guys need to start getting to know shorter girls.~

Lol, at least somebody wants you. I would rather embarrass my grandmother than die alone. Have a wonderful life with your beloved, but I hope he doesn't have the color issues that your family members have. It's amazing that just by being attractive (according to Western ideals) you are considered a good person, but if you are a dark woman you are the worst person to ever walk the Earth. Granted everyone is an individual and there are good and bad people in every racial and gender group. There are websites where guys obsess about interracial relationships and ask about where they can relocate in order to seduce women of other races. One of these sites is called RooshV, and I found it very disturbing. I hope that in my lifetime, people will ask the tough questions and confront self-hatred.

 

[frampton2013]

" Naturally, I've committed the ultimate crime by dating not just a non-Indian, but a British-born black man, and nothing hurts more than to hear your grandmother tell you to stop uploading pictures on Facebook because she's ashamed of her sisters and their family seeing them. "


Sad to here that your grandmother hasn't progressed with the modern times. If someone said something that hurtful to me, I would honestly stop communicating with them, even if it was one of my family members. I have noticed that most Indians are the first people to attack others, but never take time to reflect on their own insecurities and failures as human beings.

 

[Seth Joo]

I will say this, in addressing the original post about short Asian men dating in the US -

There is a strong bias against Asian men as it is in the dating world for whatever reason (could be due to their facial features, youthful appearance, smaller frame, etc.) But the truth is that if I had a choice between looking like the fat average white dude (who is an ideal candidate to develop diabetes, heart disease, pancreatic cancer, high blood pressure and everything else before he even hits 40) and the young looking Asian guy who can pass for 25 years old even when he is closer to 45, I will take the appearance of the Asian guy any day. Asian men are healthier than the fat white Americans. They have fewer diseases to contend with later in life, and they have a better overall diet. And most of the fit guys I see in the gym are Asian - not white. IF American women prefer these white lards to the nice Asian guys (even the shorter ones), then that is their own fault. American women certainly have the right to be stupid. In fact, as an Asian guy I believe the short doctor is much better off NOT EVER dating or marrying an American white female. Sure, it is terrible and inhumane for these American white diabetic cows to dismiss you like that, but we live in a superficial society. You are a smart and caring Asian man, with a great career in the medical profession ahead of you. You probably have a great sense of humor and just want to be in a committed relationship with a halfway decent female in this society. Your only flaw (if you can even call it that) is your short stature. Do yourself a favor my friend - don't waste anymore time with these white women. But then the issue becomes whether or not you can find a nice Asian girl in this society? Sadly, the Asian women in America are even worse that their Caucasian counterparts.

I know an Asian doctor who recently fell in love (mistakenly) with a hot Asian woman. They started getting around to talking about the engagement, at which time she responded that she would only accept an engagement ring of at least $35,000. Anything less would be unacceptable. Asian women in the US tend to be very superficial because they know that many Asian guys are desperate for female companionship and will do most anything to please Miss Shallow Asian princess (if the Asian princess doesn't get what she wants, she can always run away with the white middle aged lard ass).

The whole point here is that Caucasian or Asian - women in the US are shallow hookers who will only sell themselves to the highest bidder. Your best bet is to find a nice Asian girl overseas and then marry her. Women in other countries have better values and know what they want from a relationship. (and I guarantee that your height will not be an issue to them) Not only that but I believe that you can find an attractive one too. Stay away from this BS dating game. Most American women are completely clueless about what they want, and more importantly, what it takes to make a real relationship work.

Good luck....

Height has a lot to do with male attractiveness. I read that a height between 5-11 and 6-1 is considered ideal for most American women, that being said I read only 15 percent of American men are 6 feet tall or higher.

My origin is Japanese but I am in that ideal range of height. I think your view of American women is a bit myopic. I lived in a Japan for a while and I can tell you Japanese women definitely look at a potential mates earning prowess just as much as any women in America, if not more.

My ex is Japanese herself and we wound up divorcing because she was vehemently opposed to me leaving a good job and going to medical school in my late 20s.

 

[fancymylotus]

No offense, but this thread just comes off as a bunch of bitter men making blanket assumptions about a group of women of a different race. Not to say that Asian men don't have their own struggles--I'm sure they do--but when you let that get to you and generalize about a whole group of people, it's really bad. You also have to stop completely blaming the other party. If you're having trouble in the dating sphere, maybe there's a problem with you, too, that you're unwilling to recognize (think Nice Guy syndrome, which is the vibe I get from some of your posts).



My .02 cents as an Indian woman with lighter skin: this is completely accurate, and it's really disgusting. Mind you, I don't really consider myself Indian outside of race, so I definitely have a different view of things. As much as I love my family, I've heard stories of how other members (that I don't know as well) have disapproved of someone's choice of partner because they're too dark. Mind you, they're still Indian, but too dark. Even now, when setting up an arranged marriage, one of the qualities my extended family looks in a mate for their son/daughter is 'fair skin'. Naturally, I've committed the ultimate crime by dating not just a non-Indian, but a British-born black man, and nothing hurts more than to hear your grandmother tell you to stop uploading pictures on Facebook because she's ashamed of her sisters and their family seeing them.

Also, as far as height goes, he's 5'8", so while he's not super short, he's not exactly tall. As a 5'0" girl, I don't want someone that I can't reach, so maybe some of you shorter guys need to start getting to know shorter girls.~

I can one-up you in the "embarrassing indian parents" department(not happy about it, believe me)....an Algerian Muslim guy. I deactivated FB to dodge all the drama from my relatives in India, thankfully my family in the US is super tolerant and accepting. But the ones in the homeland were all like

 

[MelloTangelo]

Lol, at least somebody wants you. I would rather embarrass my grandmother than die alone. Have a wonderful life with your beloved, but I hope he doesn't have the color issues that your family members have. It's amazing that just by being attractive (according to Western ideals) you are considered a good person, but if you are a dark woman you are the worst person to ever walk the Earth. Granted everyone is an individual and there are good and bad people in every racial and gender group. There are websites where guys obsess about interracial relationships and ask about where they can relocate in order to seduce women of other races. One of these sites is called RooshV, and I found it very disturbing. I hope that in my lifetime, people will ask the tough questions and confront self-hatred.

Thankfully, his family is very accepting of people from all backgrounds, so there's no problem there. If only my family could be that accepting! There are a lot of pretty unsavory thoughts and beliefs out there when it comes to people of various races, so I can only hope that these things change in the future!

" Naturally, I've committed the ultimate crime by dating not just a non-Indian, but a British-born black man, and nothing hurts more than to hear your grandmother tell you to stop uploading pictures on Facebook because she's ashamed of her sisters and their family seeing them. "


Sad to here that your grandmother hasn't progressed with the modern times. If someone said something that hurtful to me, I would honestly stop communicating with them, even if it was one of my family members. I have noticed that most Indians are the first people to attack others, but never take time to reflect on their own insecurities and failures as human beings.

Oh, I was livid, but I just couldn't hold it against her in the long run. Maybe I'm too passive, but we kind of live together, and she's practically my second mother, so...yeah... Of course, she tries to say that the problem isn't race but his education and the fact that I'm in a relationship (come on, I'm 21!), but it's obvious that the biggest problem is his skin color. Mind you, we almost never talk about this because my family likes to pretend that my relationship doesn't exist. My parents did that for a few years before finally accepting it, and while my mom's still on the fence, at least they don't give me grief about it anymore.

I can one-up you in the "embarrassing indian parents" department(not happy about it, believe me)....an Algerian Muslim guy. I deactivated FB to dodge all the drama from my relatives in India, thankfully my family in the US is super tolerant and accepting. But the ones in the homeland were all like

Aw, man. I can totally relate. The only way I could have probably made this situation worse for myself was if my beau was Muslim. My parents already gave some interesting reactions when I told them his grandfather was one. One of my grandmother's nieces married an Indian-Muslim, too, and that was a huge scandal. I'm glad that your immediate family is accepting, at the very least! Here's hoping that people start changing with the times!

Totally didn't mean to hijack this thread, in any case!

 

[jakeislove]

No offense, but this thread just comes off as a bunch of bitter men making blanket assumptions about a group of women of a different race. Not to say that Asian men don't have their own struggles--I'm sure they do--but when you let that get to you and generalize about a whole group of people, it's really bad. You also have to stop completely blaming the other party. If you're having trouble in the dating sphere, maybe there's a problem with you, too, that you're unwilling to recognize (think Nice Guy syndrome, which is the vibe I get from some of your posts).



My .02 cents as an Indian woman with lighter skin: this is completely accurate, and it's really disgusting. Mind you, I don't really consider myself Indian outside of race, so I definitely have a different view of things. As much as I love my family, I've heard stories of how other members (that I don't know as well) have disapproved of someone's choice of partner because they're too dark. Mind you, they're still Indian, but too dark. Even now, when setting up an arranged marriage, one of the qualities my extended family looks in a mate for their son/daughter is 'fair skin'. Naturally, I've committed the ultimate crime by dating not just a non-Indian, but a British-born black man, and nothing hurts more than to hear your grandmother tell you to stop uploading pictures on Facebook because she's ashamed of her sisters and their family seeing them.

Also, as far as height goes, he's 5'8", so while he's not super short, he's not exactly tall. As a 5'0" girl, I don't want someone that I can't reach, so maybe some of you shorter guys need to start getting to know shorter girls.~

I met a very nice Indian woman who is patiently awaiting the death of her mother-in-law so comments about her child being too dark will stop.

 

[SkipJunior]

I met a very nice Indian woman who is patiently awaiting the death of her mother-in-law so comments about her child being too dark will stop.

I have noticed this racist behavior from a lot of Indians, especially towards their fellow Indians, and it's disgusting. I'm glad that Nandita Das, a Indian actor, started the "Dark and Lovely" campaign in India to promote the notion that dark can be beautiful. I'm also glad that dark skinned actors like Nana Patekar, Ajay Devgan, Kajol etc. are popular and famous in India because they spread a positive message. That itself is progress because in the past, mostly only light skinned people could become major film stars in India.

I have lived in Africa and I have noticed the same racist behavior in several different African countries. The lighter skinned African will look down upon the darker skinned African. I also have Mexican and African American friends who have told me that this kind of racist behavior is common in their communities too. Darker skinned members of their communities will be made to feel inferior. If you look at Mexican soap operas and movies, invariably the actors are all pale and have european features. This is why bleaching and using fairness products is rampant in places like Mexico, Nigeria, America (among blacks mostly), Kenya, South Africa, Brazil, India etc.

 

[SkipJunior]

I met a very nice Indian woman who is patiently awaiting the death of her mother-in-law so comments about her child being too dark will stop.

I wish she would be a little less nice and shout at her mother in law for being a racist jerk. I know a lot of Indian Americans who have stood up and called out the racist behavior of their own relatives, in laws, and friends. It's hard to do, no doubt, but definitely doable.

 

[studentp0x]

Hows this thread still going on?

 

[Seth Joo]

Thankfully, his family is very accepting of people from all backgrounds, so there's no problem there. If only my family could be that accepting! There are a lot of pretty unsavory thoughts and beliefs out there when it comes to people of various races, so I can only hope that these things change in the future!



Oh, I was livid, but I just couldn't hold it against her in the long run. Maybe I'm too passive, but we kind of live together, and she's practically my second mother, so...yeah... Of course, she tries to say that the problem isn't race but his education and the fact that I'm in a relationship (come on, I'm 21!), but it's obvious that the biggest problem is his skin color. Mind you, we almost never talk about this because my family likes to pretend that my relationship doesn't exist. My parents did that for a few years before finally accepting it, and while my mom's still on the fence, at least they don't give me grief about it anymore.



Aw, man. I can totally relate. The only way I could have probably made this situation worse for myself was if my beau was Muslim. My parents already gave some interesting reactions when I told them his grandfather was one. One of my grandmother's nieces married an Indian-Muslim, too, and that was a huge scandal. I'm glad that your immediate family is accepting, at the very least! Here's hoping that people start changing with the times!

Totally didn't mean to hijack this thread, in any case!

This thread has been destroyed, it was initially about the challenges that Asian males who are of small stature have in the dating arena and now the subject has changed to the even more volatile and sensitive topic of religion.

 

[SkipJunior]

This thread has been destroyed, it was initially about the challenges that Asian males who are of small stature have in the dating arena and now the subject has changed to the even more volatile and sensitive topic of religion.

sure Asian/any males of small stature do have challenges in the dating arena....but what's the point discussing it? A short Asian dude can't change the fact that he's short or Asian. He just has to focus on the things he can change like having a positive attitude towards life, being comfortable in his own skin, improving his health and fitness, increasing his income & wealth through hard work so that he can be more attractive to the opposite sex. Despite doing all that, there will still be plenty of females who will reject him and that's okay. Because if he really does all that, he will find that several women will be interested in him and he only needs one.

Also, I have met many white and black women who have told me they find Asian men attractive. So let's end the pity party, women don't find that attractive.

 

[Seth Joo]

sure Asian/any males of small stature do have challenges in the dating arena....but what's the point discussing it? A short Asian dude can't change the fact that he's short or Asian. He just has to focus on the things he can change like having a positive attitude towards life, being comfortable in his own skin, improving his health and fitness, increasing his income & wealth through hard work so that he can be more attractive to the opposite sex. Despite doing all that, there will still be plenty of females who will reject him and that's okay. Because if he really does all that, he will find that several women will be interested in him and he only needs one.

Also, I have met many white and black women who have told me they find Asian men attractive. So let's end the pity party, women don't find that attractive.

You should read Roosh's blog, I believe he is a tall white male ( I think he is Armernian American) and has a long blog decrying the dating scene in the US. I actually find myself agreeing with him on certain key issues. I have plenty of white friends in unhappy and dysfunctional relationships.

Look up the current US divorce rate, which is slightly over half.

 

[WhtsThFrequency]

You should read Roosh's blog, I believe he is a tall white male ( I think he is Armernian American) and has a long blog decrying the dating scene in the US. I actually find myself agreeing with him on certain key issues. I have plenty of white friends in unhappy and dysfunctional relationships.

Look up the current US divorce rate, which is slightly over half.

Again, I repeat...this is the guy who complained that women expect him to wipe his own ass, wear deoderant, and trim his nosehair. Have you actually read the other blog he manages and edits (Return of Kings?) The place that says it is a good idea to date girls with eating disorders because they are vulnerable and easy to manipulate (and cost you less at dinner) . That girls with short hair are by definition damaged? Women who are beaten by their significant others must have been doing something to provoke it? That girls with piercings are sluts and mentally ill? Women pursuing careers are just trying to be men? Come on now.

Guys like Roosh are bitter, and try to recruit more bitter men to their cause by turning his/their failures into a hatred of women in order to justify said failure.

Stupid, materialistic people come with both penises and vaginas. The one thing I agree with him that a lot of people in the world today are materialistic, immature, etc. But putting the blame solely on women is at best lazy justification and at worst misogynistic - the extrapolations he goes on about from that point are ridiculous. Seriously dude, Roosh is a joke, and a bad one.

 

[Seth Joo]

Again, I repeat...this is the guy who complained that women expect him to wipe his own ass, wear deoderant, and trim his nosehair. Have you actually read the other blog he manages and edits (Return of Kings?) The place that says it is a good idea to date girls with eating disorders because they are vulnerable and easy to manipulate (and cost you less at dinner) . That girls with short hair are by definition damaged? Women who are beaten by their significant others must have been doing something to provoke it? That girls with piercings are sluts and mentally ill? Women pursuing careers are just trying to be men? Come on now.

Guys like Roosh are bitter, and try to recruit more bitter men to their cause by turning his/their failures into a hatred of women in order to justify said failure.

Stupid, materialistic people come with both penises and vaginas. The one thing I agree with him that a lot of people in the world today are materialistic, immature, etc. But putting the blame solely on women is at best lazy justification and at worst misogynistic - the extrapolations he goes on about from that point are ridiculous. Seriously dude, Roosh is a joke, and a bad one.

Roosh is not perfect, but apparently I do not blame him for his attitude. He is right that because of feminism, you have more "alpha" males sexually exploiting "empowered" women.

Roosh happens to come from a culture that is male dominated. I believe he is Armenian or Persian, either way those are societies where men tend to be the boss.

 

[WhtsThFrequency]

Again, I repeat...this is the guy who complained that women expect him to wipe his own ass, wear deoderant, and trim his nosehair. Have you actually read the other blog he manages and edits (Return of Kings?) The place that says it is a good idea to date girls with eating disorders because they are vulnerable and easy to manipulate (and cost you less at dinner) . That girls with short hair are by definition damaged? Women who are beaten by their significant others must have been doing something to provoke it? That girls with piercings are sluts and mentally ill? Women pursuing careers are just trying to be men? Come on now.

Roosh is not perfect, but apparently I do not blame him for his attitude. He is right that because of feminism, you have more "alpha" males sexually exploiting "empowered" women.

Roosh happens to come from a culture that is male dominated. I believe he is Armenian or Persian, either way those are societies where men tend to be the boss.

So....supporting the things I labeled above is "not being perfect?" **** son. I'd hate to see what you think is bad.

That the development of such a nasty attitude is not his fault? Is it the fault of the women who didn't want to go out with him? Last time I checked, despite external influences of people and situations, at the end of the day you yourself are responsible for your own attitude and how you treat other people either over the internet or in person.

And it's ok that he supports these things because "he comes from a culture where men are the boss?" Really?

(actually, he's a plain old American who grew up in an upper middle class Maryland neighborhood. He is of mixed Iranian descent which basically means nothing unless he remained immersed in the culture, which is unlikely. He even admits growing up with no racial or ethnic identity . Hell, I'm of British descent but I wouldn't say I come from their culture, even though I'm second generation. I'm also half German, and by your logic that would be an excuse for me to blog about how much I hate Jews or something

I think you need to read a little bit more about him. You sound like you've only skimmed the surface and seen the (very) few things he does have a point about. But trust me, after that, he just delves into ridiculous bitter misogyny.

 

[CoolCube]

I think you should read this website:

http://www.happierabroad.com/

 

[jakeislove]

This thread has been destroyed, it was initially about the challenges that Asian males who are of small stature have in the dating arena and now the subject has changed to the even more volatile and sensitive topic of religion.

How will you ask patients about their 'flow', itch, bowel habits, sexual history, if something this silly is difficult?

 

[mercaptovizadeh]

What is it about Asian men that allegedly makes the uninteresting to American women? I get the height, but why would a tall Asian guy be rejected? I've actually seen that tall Asian guys do quite well with both Asian and white women, so....

 

[WhtsThFrequency]

I also see Asian men dating all sorts of women quite commonly. However, I do think the subset of Asian guys who fail repeatedly do so because of cultural attributes, not physical, and their effects on their outward personalities when they approach women, particularly non-Asian women.

Asian men, particularly first and sometimes second generation, (and this is just my experience) tend to be much more more shy, reserved, less communicative, etc. than men of other backgrounds. Some people like that, some people don't - hey, it takes all types right? However, acting like that that WILL affect your overall catch rate because, as it has been said time and time again, women like confidence. Combine that with an attitude of "white women don't/won't like me anyway" (which is sadly becoming more common in that demographic, as evidenced in this thread) and they simply set themselves up for failure. No one wants to date an insecure person, regardless of their height, appearance, dress, etc.