Possible to do OB/GYN residency with children at home?

[MiesVanDerMom]

Hi. I'm wondering if there are women in your program with kids and how they seem to be doing? I would have a 6 year old and 7 year old when I began residency (just applying to med school this cycle) and my husband would be a stay-at-home dad/homemaker. I'm wondering how often I could see my kids etc?

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[oxeye]

I've been wondering the same thing. I'm assuming it is doable but I wonder how often I will get to see my kids. Mine will be 6 and 8 when I finish medical school (assuming I get in this cycle as well). My husband will be home with the kids when they are not in school.

 

[tiredmom]

I'm a MS4 applying for ob/gyn this year. My kids are 11 and 5. On certain rotations, I didn't get to see them very much, but others I had more time with them. My husband works a daytime job, so we've got a sitter for after school til he or I get home. I think we are looking at a sitter/housekeeper combination for residency (I really don't want to waste the precious hours I'll have off cleaning house - I want them with my family). Med school surprised me at how much time I had with my kids - much more than I did working as a RN fulltime prior to med school. Residency is going to be tougher, but we'll make it through and be better for it in the long run.
Good luck to y'all!

 

[Diane L. Evans]

First I would only apply to programs with night floats these allow you to have some sense of schedule and give you the most opportunity to see your family. With this system you are on call at most 2-3 weekends a month meaning a Fri/Sun( till 6pm) or a Sat. On night float you usually work Sun night- Fri afternoon 6pm-8am(9 for didatics)am. There is little time on this rotation to see kids except when they come home from school. A lot of residents have their families bring kids in for lunch/ dinner on call or on night floats and everyone is usually pretty amenable to this schedule giving the working mom/dad a 20 min break to see their family.

Older kids work best. My 7 yr old seems to handel on call just fine.


Good luck feel free to email me personally
Diane

 

[Flea girl]

I have a 2yo and a 9yo. My husband works from home, so childcare is not a problem. I am just about to finish my first 5 weeks of L&D days(I am pgy1). The schedule @ our program is 7am-6:30 pm sign-out. Night float from 6:30pm-8am. It has been hard but I still get to see my kids, maybe not as much as I would like to but I start my outpt block next week and looking forword to be working from 8-4:30 or 5:00pm. From what I have experienced thus far that some rotations are going to be longer and harder than others. Anyone w/ any Q's let pm me! Good Luck!

 

[oxeye]

Can anyone give me a better idea of how the night float works? What kind of hours do you work when you are not on night float?

Thanks.

 

[UCLAMAN]

Can anyone give me a better idea of how the night float works? What kind of hours do you work when you are not on night float?

Thanks.

on night float you work from 7pm to 7am everyday. the schedule is set so you know when you are covering labor and delivery. once you are off at 7am in the morning you can do whatever you want, you aren't tied to a pager. i forget if the residents were taking a week of nighfloat at a time or if it was longer here at northwestern(for sure it is at least a week). but basically, there is a night team and a day team and you know which weeks you are on the day team and which weeks you are on the night team. ob/gyn's version of shiftwork...just like the ER docs!

i believe the attendings here take every 6th week as night float cover. so for that whole week they are the attendings on duty on labor and delivery and they also cover for any gyne emergencies. every week they rotate attendings.

 

[Pinki]

Hi. I'm wondering if there are women in your program with kids and how they seem to be doing? I would have a 6 year old and 7 year old when I began residency (just applying to med school this cycle) and my husband would be a stay-at-home dad/homemaker. I'm wondering how often I could see my kids etc?

The key in your post is that you've got a stay at home hubby - having good solid childcare you can count is key to my well being. I see a number of female residents with children at our local OB programs - some have Mr. Mom husbands, some have 24 hour nannies/childcare especially those married to other doctors), some have family in town they rely heavily upon. For residency, we're aiming to either move to the city where my parents or my inlaws live - both sets have agreed to help out. My husband is not a stay at home dad, but he's got an artsy fartsy flexible schedule and can work from home if need be. But I figure that could get old really quick in 4 years of residency, so we're going to use grandmas and grandpas a couple afternoons a week to ease his burden.

As a MSIII with a 2 year old and another on the way, I see my daughter pretty consistently every night and one full weekend day, unless I'm on call. As for studying, I get up early (3ish) and study before my day at the hospital, that way 100 percent of my night is dedicated to my family. This may all change when No. 2 arrives...likely, right? Good luck - it can be done if you plan right and have Plans B - Z in place.

 

[G2P0112]

I am a PGY-1 and have 2 1/2 year old twins at home. It is definetly doable...or at least it has been for the past 2 1/2 months, but it is really hard. I miss my kiddos like crazy and don't get to see them nearly as much as I would like to. My husband is in real estate and works from home, so we don't need outside childcare, which makes it easier on me, but harder on our relationship. We have to work really hard at trying to juggle/balance children, 2 jobs, marriage and squeezing in some time for ourselves. Luckily, we have a very strong relationship and keep the lines of communication open as well as we can. Our life is very full and I don't think we would want it any other way.
My time with my kids is limited and I just try to make the most of it. The hours vary from rotation to rotation. I am on night float right now. We start at 600 pm and usually leave around 8 am. I get the morning to spend with the kids and then try to get in some sleep while they are napping. It's hard because I really want to spend time with them, but by 1000 I am exhausted...and not the most fun to be around.
I think you just have do what you love. If you love OB/Gyn and can't see yourself doing anything else then it is what you have to do. Residency is hard regardless of your specialty and it will be that much harder if you go into something you aren't passionate about.
Medical school is quite doable with children. You have more flexibility in your schedule and people, at least where I was at schol, were very understanding to the fact that I had kids.
Good luck.

 

[Diane L. Evans]

Nanny's and au pairs are extremely common in OB, many of the attendings use their services.

 

[amy2003uva]

I am feeling uneasy after reading all of the posts above describing families with stay at home dads/moms or comparable daycare arrangements. My husband and I are both MSII's and we would like to have a child at the end of our 3rd year/beginning of 4th year, but are extremely worried about childcare. I am interested in Ob/Gyn and he wants IM, so we will both obviously have crazy intern years. I know residents/med students have children, so what are my options, besides living in the same city as our parents (that is uncertain due to the couples' match)?

I'm 25 and that means I'll be 32 at the end of residency and 35 if I pursue a fellowship, and I had hoped to have my first child in my 20s. Is that unrealistic in my situation?

Thanks for the input.

 

[Pinki]

I am feeling uneasy after reading all of the posts above describing families with stay at home dads/moms or comparable daycare arrangements. My husband and I are both MSII's and we would like to have a child at the end of our 3rd year/beginning of 4th year, but are extremely worried about childcare. I am interested in Ob/Gyn and he wants IM, so we will both obviously have crazy intern years. I know residents/med students have children, so what are my options, besides living in the same city as our parents (that is uncertain due to the couples' match)?

I'm 25 and that means I'll be 32 at the end of residency and 35 if I pursue a fellowship, and I had hoped to have my first child in my 20s. Is that unrealistic in my situation?

Thanks for the input.

Not unrealistic, if you plan correctly. Before I even called my mom to tell her I was pregnant, I was on a waitlist for a quality daycare - you probably need to have something in place early, like a live-in nanny (which is pricey) or a 24-hour sitter in a private home you take your baby to - that way you have call nights and early mornings covered. Like I said, my husband has a flexible schedule and we plan on living in the same city as a set of parents for residency, hoping to cover for days when my hours are less than perfect. I don't know of any dual MS's at my school with children, but the 2 residents I know in OB with doctor hubbies have pretty extensive daycare coverage - 1 has 2 (yes TWO) full time nannies for her 3 year old twins and the other has a 24 hour sitter she takes her baby to.

Frankly, if I were you with all your extra reproductive time, I would wait until your last year of residency - 31/32 is a totally appropriate time to have your 1st baby. I'm a 35 yo MSIII smiling down the barrel of Advanced Maternal Age, so I had no other choice but to get busy now - I highly doubt I have Madonna's ovaries!
Good luck!

 

[DrWuStar]

Are the hours easier later in OB residency, thus making it more feasible to have baby #1 at that time... say at the beginning of PGY4? I'm not that old, but older than your average med student and would like to have 2-3 kids before infertility sets in. In other specialties I have considered, the hours sound like they ease up a lot in PGY3-4, but now I am thinking of OB and wondering if that is the same situation. I don't think I would be happy away from my baby for 80 hours per week, so I'm trying to figure out the earliest time my hours would be consistently less than that. thanks!

 

[MiesVanDerMom]

I am feeling uneasy after reading all of the posts above describing families with stay at home dads/moms or comparable daycare arrangements. My husband and I are both MSII's and we would like to have a child at the end of our 3rd year/beginning of 4th year, but are extremely worried about childcare. I am interested in Ob/Gyn and he wants IM, so we will both obviously have crazy intern years. I know residents/med students have children, so what are my options, besides living in the same city as our parents (that is uncertain due to the couples' match)?

I'm 25 and that means I'll be 32 at the end of residency and 35 if I pursue a fellowship, and I had hoped to have my first child in my 20s. Is that unrealistic in my situation?

Thanks for the input.

I just wanted to second the notion that waiting until you're 32-35 is not a bad idea unless you have a specific reason to suspect you may have infertility issues. But if you've got the baby fever, easier said than done! I should know: I've been married less than three years and have two kids! Best of luck to you. I hope you get some more replies...

 

[peacefuljourney]

Hello,

I'm in year 5 of a 6 year program in Europe and looking at ob/gyn in the States when I'm done. I have a 7 yr old, 8 year old, 1 year old and our (last) is on her way now - due around January.

I can't comment on actually doing ob/gyn with children, but medical school is certainly doable. I have my MBA and was doing pretty high-level consulting work. I know what 80+ hour working weeks feel like and I'm hoping that residency and practise won't be any worse. I think if you love what you do then everything else will fall in place. Children are pretty flexible. I have far more time with them now than I did when working for one of the Big 5 consulting practices.

You just get very efficient which can be draining after a while. i.e. I can never just ride in the car or wait for the bus or cook. I must be memorizing something at the same time. I have from 4.00 to 8.30 pm every day with my children while doing meds. That is much more time than most working folks at home. I have help with cleaning the house as another poster mentioned. I take the time to spend with our family rather than clean. I cook for the month (or most of it) and freeze the food so it's healthy, balanced, fresh etc.

I forgot to mention my husband is a 6 year medical student - done this spring. We all do well in school and are pretty happy for the most part. We have the additional stress of living abroad away from family as well as a myriad of other stresses associated with living in a foreign land and being an img.

You are so young and have so much time to have children. I had my first at 30. You will find your way and I would hope that esp. this specialization and profession would support women, their issues and encourage them to do what is right for them.

Hope this helps. Just one last thought. Children are so precious and you are their world. I love being a mom, but also need to work and there are lots of people out there doing what you hope to do.

Best of luck. S-

 

[amy2003uva]

thank you so much for your replies. your advice to wait until after residency to have children practically makes sense, but i have always envisioned having my first child in my 20s. it doesn't make things easier that my class is seemingly infected with the "baby bug" as i have been to two baby showers in the past two weeks!

my husband told me that it would come down to us choosing to sacrifice one of three things: specialty, location, or time (waiting to have children). he refuses to let me sacrifice what i love (ob/gyn) so that is out, and we would like to have a child in school, so we are trying to make it work to be in a city with either of our parents, who are incredibly supportive.

we haven't made any decisions, but i would love more input. thanks!

 

[moreLove]

I am a M4 and as of right now am applying to residency programs. I just had my baby 3 mo. ago. I am very sad that I will miss some of her 1st few years. BUT, I love OB/GYN and everything about women's health. There are lots of OB residents at my school with children and they seem to handle it really well. One of the residents actually encouraged me to go ahead and have a baby before residency. It sucked doing surgery 8 mo pregnant but I wouldn't trade my little girl for anything. I honestly feel like I can relate to my patients so much better after going through childbirth myself.

 

[MichiMO]

I am in the exact same position as moreLove and all I can say is I hope it is doable. You do sacrifice some stuff though....like another poster mentioned. I find it difficult to consider a program without a nightfloat and there are cities I just won't apply to because there is no support there. Also in school, even though there are certainly some rotations I would like to do and that I feel would make me a better doctor, I am just not willing to sacrifice time time this year with my baby and am doing pretty much all easy rotations.

 

[TheJayBee]

Our residency program has a number of residents with young children, including one second year with two and 1/2 year old twins.

http://www.SCVMCObGyn.org

The program is very child friendly. Many of the attendings (over 15 of them) also have children less than 3 and so the culture is very supportive. Probably a big recruiting benefit for new faculty since many of our attendings are stellar women from top programs who are in their 30's. They could have gone any where (eg most were recruited to become attendings at UCSF, Stanford, and Kaiser and choose to join SCVMC).

As a result, the culture is supportive and residents do not get slammed when another resident is out on maternity leave or has a child with an illness. The assistant PD has two children less than 5 yo and she treats the residents right.

One thing to consider about night float- it is not as ideal as advertized and has lost many advantages since the 80 wh week went into effect.

Night float has some real pros and cons. Programs with night float generally require residents to stay until pass on's- so your routine days are gonna last until 6 or 7 pm and that is hard with young children.

These weeks on NF (months in some programs) are also hard to catagorize as OB vs Gyn vs Subspecialtiy- so residents often end up with less scheduled Gyn Surg (eg hysts) and elective time compared to no night float.

In programs without night float, you have call during the week several times a month. But you leave by 9 am post call and have the day free. And on days you are not on call you can jet home by 5:30 pm (at least here).

These pros and cons are generally not considered.

Given the changes following the 80 hr work week, our residents annually vote against go to a Night Float system.

Again- night float has some real nice aspects. But it is not a slam dunk

 

[MichiMO]

Yeah, I agree, there are definitly some disadvantages to night float, but for my family, having predictability is important. Also, knowing that I will never be q3 is important. No matter what people say, this type of schedule would be pretty impossible, at least for me. Spending every third night away from my baby would make me miserable, even if it were only for a few months a year.