My boyfriend died in a car accident a week before my finals. I emailed my teachers and let them know what happened and they said they would give me a WU and I can try to get it expunged through the university. A WU means "university withdrawl" but is equivalent to an F. My university denied my request to expunge my grades because we were not married and I'm not related to him, they will do it for family emergencies only. I am a non-science major so my science GPA plummeted from 3.6 to 3.1. My overall GPA is now 3.5, I am feeling hopeless especially because DO schools no longer do grade replacements and I don't think MD schools will consider me at all anymore. All my hard work down the drain and loss of my boyfriend is too much to bear. I can't sleep or eat, I have one more semester before I graduate but I feel like giving up on life and dropping out. I live in California and really wanted to get into an MD program here, does anyone think this is still possible with my 3.1 science GPA? I feel like it might be even lower by the time I graduate because I have been slacking in my classes from my depression.
My boyfriend died and I missed all my finals, my school refused to expunge grades
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OP, I am so sorry for your loss. Just because you were not married does not make that situation irrelevant and I can only imagine how painful that must be. First things first in this situation is to take care of yourself. Maybe take a semester off to give yourself time to heal. Then continue focusing on your goal. You might consider a post-bac program to help raise your sGPA.
Once again I’m incredibly sorry for your loss. Your school may not understand your need to withdraw last semester, but I do. If you need an anonymous friend to talk to feel free to message me.
Once again I’m incredibly sorry for your loss. Your school may not understand your need to withdraw last semester, but I do. If you need an anonymous friend to talk to feel free to message me.
Thank you for your kind words. I cannot afford a postbac program unfortunately. I'm going to apply to med schools after taking the MCAT and if I don't get in anywhere in California then I have to give up on medicine because I can't afford to move out either. I am hoping to score some interviews so I can personally explain my situation and I'm praying med school admissions will be much more sympathetic than my university's registrar.
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See a mental health professional
Thanks for your kind words. But I have one more semester left so I'm just trying to get it over with and take a year off before applying. Do you think I still have a chance to get interviews?
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Hi there, I am so incredibly sorry for your loss.
I personally think that you still have a strong chance at medical school. Your GPA may technically be a 3.1, but it's a 3.1 under extraordinary circumstances and any reasonable human being will see a sudden drop in an otherwise excellent record and surmise that there must be an explanation for it.
But the much more important thing at this juncture is to make sure you take care of yourself. You mentioned depression; I highly suggest talking to mental health professionals that can help you through this difficult time. Also, you don't need to apply to medical school until you are truly ready for it. There's always time for that.
Again, I am truly sorry, and I wish you the very best.
I personally think that you still have a strong chance at medical school. Your GPA may technically be a 3.1, but it's a 3.1 under extraordinary circumstances and any reasonable human being will see a sudden drop in an otherwise excellent record and surmise that there must be an explanation for it.
But the much more important thing at this juncture is to make sure you take care of yourself. You mentioned depression; I highly suggest talking to mental health professionals that can help you through this difficult time. Also, you don't need to apply to medical school until you are truly ready for it. There's always time for that.
Again, I am truly sorry, and I wish you the very best.
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I would also contact any student legal services that you can find. While I doubt that what the university did is against policy or the law, pressure from the student ombudsman can help. I would even contact local media as the last resort.
With all that said, I highly doubt that med schools will not notice the disparity and will try to figure out why the situation occured. You'll notice many sections of secondaries ask the open ended "what do you want the admissions team to know?"
Secondly, per AMCAS would WU even count as a zero? Ill try to look through rules when I get out of class but perhaps @Goro may beat me to the punch.
With all that said, I highly doubt that med schools will not notice the disparity and will try to figure out why the situation occured. You'll notice many sections of secondaries ask the open ended "what do you want the admissions team to know?"
Secondly, per AMCAS would WU even count as a zero? Ill try to look through rules when I get out of class but perhaps @Goro may beat me to the punch.
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Please don’t limit yourself to California. You may not be able to afford to move out, but tons of med students take out loans for cost of living, which can help you with that. You’ll be taking out over a hundred thousand in loans anyway (unless you’re paying for it yourself, in which case I don’t think you’d have problems moving out).
California is a net exporter of med students. I’d hate for you to give up on medicine because you happen to live in a state that is very difficult for even the best med school applicants.
Also, you will likely have chances to make your situation known. It will go a long way to explaining your GPA which will help you a lot. Sorry you have to go through this. I’ve lost some people really close to me and know how much it sucks.
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Please accept my condolences. I wish nothing but the best for you, your family, and your boyfriend's family during this hard time.
Some comments/suggestions regarding your academic situation, in no particular order:
1. Have you made completely clear to your college administrators what your ambitions are and how their decision impacts your progress? Write a transparent and thorough letter to them, send it, and move it up the chain until you start hearing back. Offer to give documentation of your boyfriend's death and testimonies from family members and friends that confirm you were together. While it wasn't a family emergency, it was certainly a personal emergency and a mental health emergency. Keep pushing for what is right.
2. I don't understand the "I can't afford to move out" point. You can go to medical school outside of California, live on loans, and then pay off the debt when you're a doctor; that's the norm. By only applying to schools in CA, you'd be limiting yourself for what seems to be no good reason. (This advice would hold regardless of your stats.)
3. How were you doing in the science class prior to the university withdrawal? If you were doing well, I'd request a letter from the professor that describes how your performance was up to the time of the final. This would serve as a useful supporting document in the future.
4. Admission into MD programs is unfortunately kind of a stretch for you right now because of the low sGPA; your situation is compelling, but the admissions process is still very numbers-driven (because schools end up sending average stats to MSAR, USNWR, etc.). Your best chance of staying in CA for med school is to apply to Western and Touro-CA. Otherwise, apply broadly outside of CA.
Some comments/suggestions regarding your academic situation, in no particular order:
1. Have you made completely clear to your college administrators what your ambitions are and how their decision impacts your progress? Write a transparent and thorough letter to them, send it, and move it up the chain until you start hearing back. Offer to give documentation of your boyfriend's death and testimonies from family members and friends that confirm you were together. While it wasn't a family emergency, it was certainly a personal emergency and a mental health emergency. Keep pushing for what is right.
2. I don't understand the "I can't afford to move out" point. You can go to medical school outside of California, live on loans, and then pay off the debt when you're a doctor; that's the norm. By only applying to schools in CA, you'd be limiting yourself for what seems to be no good reason. (This advice would hold regardless of your stats.)
3. How were you doing in the science class prior to the university withdrawal? If you were doing well, I'd request a letter from the professor that describes how your performance was up to the time of the final. This would serve as a useful supporting document in the future.
4. Admission into MD programs is unfortunately kind of a stretch for you right now because of the low sGPA; your situation is compelling, but the admissions process is still very numbers-driven (because schools end up sending average stats to MSAR, USNWR, etc.). Your best chance of staying in CA for med school is to apply to Western and Touro-CA. Otherwise, apply broadly outside of CA.
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I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I agree with @bananafish94 that you are still a strong contender for med school. You can easily explain the significant drop with a compelling story. Your job is going to be showing the adcoms that you have worked through your grief and have learned how to take care of yourself when a terrible thing happened.
Working through grief can happen in many ways. Talking to a therapist or other health professional, joining a grief support group, reading about loss, meditating, etc. are all good things. But in the end, grief isn’t something you can just decide to fix and then do it. You have to take the time to let it pass through you— all the awful, painful, draining, miserable, numbing, and depressing parts. This just takes time...and you will not be your best self for awhile. But if you can allow those things space in your life, you will be able to walk into your med school interviews some day knowing that you walked through Hell and have a special understanding and empathy for your patient population. That’s going to go a long way for you with some of the adcoms. But the key is that you HAVE to take care of yourself first and process through the grief.
Please know that depression following loss of a loved one is normal. You are depressed because losing someone you loved is sad. That is part of grief. It feels uncomfortable and awful, but if you allow it in and let it move through you, it will eventually subside on its own. Unless you have a significant history of clinical depression, this depressing grief you are feeling will subside as you process your loss. (Though it may occur in waves). Joining a grief support group is great because you will be surrounded by others who understand what you’re going through and it will make you feel less alone. It will also help you see that the things you feel do not last forever.
To give yourself the best chance at school, don’t take the MCAT until you’ve had time to really work through your grief. You are the only one who can judge when this is, but my suggestion would be that when you think you’re ready, add another 3-6 months. Be your best self when taking that test. If that means waiting another cycle to apply, do what you have to to push back a year or two.
If you are up to reading, a book you might find helpful right now is, “On Grief and Grieving”, by Elisabeth Kibler Ross and David Kessler.
You can still achieve your goals, but you have to allow that they might not happen in the time frame you initially intended. Life —and death—have happened along the way. Though the path to med school might be different now, you can still get there.
Also, invoking some SDN gurus who can give provide additional insight: @HomeSkool @Goro
Working through grief can happen in many ways. Talking to a therapist or other health professional, joining a grief support group, reading about loss, meditating, etc. are all good things. But in the end, grief isn’t something you can just decide to fix and then do it. You have to take the time to let it pass through you— all the awful, painful, draining, miserable, numbing, and depressing parts. This just takes time...and you will not be your best self for awhile. But if you can allow those things space in your life, you will be able to walk into your med school interviews some day knowing that you walked through Hell and have a special understanding and empathy for your patient population. That’s going to go a long way for you with some of the adcoms. But the key is that you HAVE to take care of yourself first and process through the grief.
Please know that depression following loss of a loved one is normal. You are depressed because losing someone you loved is sad. That is part of grief. It feels uncomfortable and awful, but if you allow it in and let it move through you, it will eventually subside on its own. Unless you have a significant history of clinical depression, this depressing grief you are feeling will subside as you process your loss. (Though it may occur in waves). Joining a grief support group is great because you will be surrounded by others who understand what you’re going through and it will make you feel less alone. It will also help you see that the things you feel do not last forever.
To give yourself the best chance at school, don’t take the MCAT until you’ve had time to really work through your grief. You are the only one who can judge when this is, but my suggestion would be that when you think you’re ready, add another 3-6 months. Be your best self when taking that test. If that means waiting another cycle to apply, do what you have to to push back a year or two.
If you are up to reading, a book you might find helpful right now is, “On Grief and Grieving”, by Elisabeth Kibler Ross and David Kessler.
You can still achieve your goals, but you have to allow that they might not happen in the time frame you initially intended. Life —and death—have happened along the way. Though the path to med school might be different now, you can still get there.
Also, invoking some SDN gurus who can give provide additional insight: @HomeSkool @Goro
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Also, not sure if anyone said this, but even though AACOMAS doesn't do grade replacement anymore, DO schools have lower admissions statistics. Not sure what your MCAT is (or will be), but with a decent MCAT you still have a good shot there.
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Unfortunately it looks like I was wrong.
I would still get in touch with anyone at the university that will listen and go as high up as you possibly could. I would not just let this go.
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DO schools will probably be sympathetic to your story with a good MCAT and good grades from this point on.
I do not believe MD programs will. I had a 34 mcat and 3 great years (3.6+) but one year I had a 2.0 because of a genetic disease that no one could diagnose. 0/46 MD schools cared enough to interview me.
I do not believe MD programs will. I had a 34 mcat and 3 great years (3.6+) but one year I had a 2.0 because of a genetic disease that no one could diagnose. 0/46 MD schools cared enough to interview me.
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Honestly, I would take time off from school to have time to heal and work on your mental health. Taking a gap year (or two) might not be a bad idea because rushing to try to get into medical school can cause many issues to resurface. Many jobs at companies will offer relocation assistance if you are a good candidate. This can improve your chances to many schools while also providing the money to move.
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I'm so sorry for your loss and the terrible repercussions.
Is there any way your university might consider reclassifying your marks as 'incomplete' and allow you to take/re-take finals at the end of Spring Break? Do you have a faculty advisor who would be willing to go to bat for you? With the strong academic history that it sounds like you have, a little compassion and discretion would seem to be in order. (Just how uncaring is this place?...) I'd do what you can to get your semester reclassified and also seek letters from your professors stating that you were an excellent student before -- that will help.
Above all -- don't give up now! Don't limit yourself to California or to MD -- We're talking about the rest of your life here. You are still a good candidate for DO (same job, just different letters) without any adjustments or accommodations, and any MD school that takes the time to actually look at your transcript and read your application will see that the one semester was a fluke.
Which means you need to pull it together now and finish strong. Get whatever mental health and emotional support you need to make that happen. If you have enough credits to graduate on time (or perhaps, even if not!) consider dropping a class or two to lighten your course load - you probably still can, with withdrawals (which don't count) rather than failures.
Again - Don't give up now. Take the time you need to heal and finish school and apply when you're ready.
Is there any way your university might consider reclassifying your marks as 'incomplete' and allow you to take/re-take finals at the end of Spring Break? Do you have a faculty advisor who would be willing to go to bat for you? With the strong academic history that it sounds like you have, a little compassion and discretion would seem to be in order. (Just how uncaring is this place?...) I'd do what you can to get your semester reclassified and also seek letters from your professors stating that you were an excellent student before -- that will help.
Above all -- don't give up now! Don't limit yourself to California or to MD -- We're talking about the rest of your life here. You are still a good candidate for DO (same job, just different letters) without any adjustments or accommodations, and any MD school that takes the time to actually look at your transcript and read your application will see that the one semester was a fluke.
Which means you need to pull it together now and finish strong. Get whatever mental health and emotional support you need to make that happen. If you have enough credits to graduate on time (or perhaps, even if not!) consider dropping a class or two to lighten your course load - you probably still can, with withdrawals (which don't count) rather than failures.
Again - Don't give up now. Take the time you need to heal and finish school and apply when you're ready.
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I agree with the posts above, I think this is very much a case of the squeaky wheel gets the oil. You have a compelling story and there is absolutely no reason why they shouldn't at least let you take Ws for the classes or at best give you an Incomplete until you take the final. The school is doing you an incredible injustice. They should cultivate an environment where you have the best chance to succeed not punish you based on rigid enforcement of rules. Do they not understand the burden they're putting on the success of one of their own graduates? For what?
Get one of your old professors on your side, try to find a workaround, and take this to the highest level you can and don't stop till you get success or talk to the president (I'm serious).
Something that may have worked at my school is that professors can change grades for up to a year after the class ends, maybe reach out to the professors to make an agreement with them letting you take the final to get a letter grade since it was the professors who gave you the WU. Even if one of them does that will help.
Get one of your old professors on your side, try to find a workaround, and take this to the highest level you can and don't stop till you get success or talk to the president (I'm serious).
Something that may have worked at my school is that professors can change grades for up to a year after the class ends, maybe reach out to the professors to make an agreement with them letting you take the final to get a letter grade since it was the professors who gave you the WU. Even if one of them does that will help.
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I am so sorry for such a terrible loss.
I agree with Princeton here; you need to fight tooth and nail, because there is no reason that this should harm you. The reason we have W is for circumstances like this, and it should not detract from your achievements.
If this problem is inherent to your university’s system, then that system needs to be addressed. Take the time you need for yourself, look after your mental and emotional health, and don’t let this stop you.
If you need to apply to other states, your student loans will cover your living expenses. All of us med students aren’t rich and living off trust funds, we use loans and it is not a big deal.
I hope this helps. If there’s anything else please don’t hesitate to reach out via PM or here.
I agree with Princeton here; you need to fight tooth and nail, because there is no reason that this should harm you. The reason we have W is for circumstances like this, and it should not detract from your achievements.
If this problem is inherent to your university’s system, then that system needs to be addressed. Take the time you need for yourself, look after your mental and emotional health, and don’t let this stop you.
If you need to apply to other states, your student loans will cover your living expenses. All of us med students aren’t rich and living off trust funds, we use loans and it is not a big deal.
I hope this helps. If there’s anything else please don’t hesitate to reach out via PM or here.
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You were a junior in 2014 and are now a senior? What happened? Did you take the full-time job you were considering in 2014?
Don't rush at this point even if this has been a long road. Take things slowly, take a leave of absence from school if you need it this semester. Don't take the MCAT until you are ready and getting practice tests scores where you want to be. This process can be unforgiving so don't walk into the trap of rushing things when you need to slow down.
A science gpa of 3.1 at graduation is a concern but if it is due to many incomplete classes that were treated as F's then it will be okay at schools where you at least pass the screen and get some eyeballs on the application. Keep in mind that medical schools may not be accomodating of the need to drop everything for someone to whom you are not related to by blood or by marriage... that is just the way policies are written. (And one reason why I am glad that all marriages are recognized now in the US.)
It is very frustrating to me to know that the faculty advised you to take an unauthorized withdrawal and hope that the school would expunge it. I think that you should have been offered the option of "incomplete" with a contract to complete the missing work (in this case the exams ) within a prescribed period of time. (I'm just going by the way things are done at CSUN but I imagine the other Cali schools are similar.) Was there a reason that "incomplete" was not an option?
I did take that full time job I'm 25 years old now and really trying to graduate this year. I'm going to try and appeal the school's decision by actually giving a statement or talking to someone because the earlier application I used was just a standard form. I'm not sure why my professors didn't offer me an incomplete I didn't know that was an option. I think since it was my boyfriend and not a family member the proof I provided wasn't enough for them so they wanted the administration to handle it for them especially because my university policy only considers family deaths. I'm going to talk to my therapist and see if he can write a letter explaining how my mental health attributed to my grades.
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So your schools doesn’t look at extenuating circumstances when assessing downward trends? OP’s gpa went from a 3.6 to a 3.1, but because she was given WUs for several classes due to a death. I don’t know if her upward trend to 3.5 is with grade replacement or not, but even so, that’s a downward trend with a hell of a reason.
They don’t differentiate between a downward trend due to poor performance and a downward trend due to an unexpected tragedy that leave some you with WFs?
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Pretty sure Goro teaches at the Harvard of DO schools. In all seriousness though, do seek mental health resources. I'd go with school counseling and tell them your story. In my school the director of counseling services has a LOT of pull with the dean's office, and maybe they can help as well.
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With all due respect, I think you could exercise some more tact in a thread about somebody who experienced a horrific tragedy.
And to the OP, I refuse to believe that a 3.1 GPA that is obviously due to one semester closely following such a circumstance is going to hold you back that much. Nobody is that unreasonable. They just simply aren't.
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While I agree that saying “kiss of death” in a thread about someone whose boyfriend died is not very tactful, it is a standard goro-ism. He probably didn’t mean it to be crass.
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It would have been very helpful to know that this tragedy was 3+ years ago because the best course of action for "tragedy two months ago - still in school but struggling" and "tragedy three years ago - left school - just starting back and struggling" are very different.
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The problem is that we need to see resilience and recovery from this. U-shaped trends are common and so it's not insurmountable, but as of right now, from the OP, she's in a hole that she needs to dig out of.
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Maybe the Case-Western of DO schools.
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Makes sense. Thanks.
My boyfriend died June 2017. I took a leave of absence in 2014 for a job and came back to school mid 2016.
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What is the Harvard of DO schools?
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Ask five people, you'll get six different answers.
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Based on what I've read on SDN, probably LUCOM.
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These are all great ideas OP. Take it higher and higher until someone lets you fix this. Proper documentation plus therapist note will be your best weapons.
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A note from a therapist documenting how this has affected your health may be very useful, people withdraw for health reasons all the time. I know many people who have postponed finals by a semester for concussions. This will be harder considering it happened 8 months ago though...
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I'm going to put on my heart-less school administrator hat and walk you through how school administrators works through something like this trying to be just to all students by applying the rules in a way that consistent under various scenarios.
The OP made a choice to skip final exams because her boyfriend had died suddenly a week earlier. All that the school should base its decision on is whether there was a legitimate reason to miss the final exams and if it would have been fair to all students who took those exams to allow someone to take the exams later or to entirely cancel their enrollment for the semster.
If the reason for missing the exams was the boyfriend's sudden death a week before exams, then all that comes into the discussion was that someone died, the relationship between the deceased and the student and whether according to school policy this relationship meets the criteria for bereavement leave, and the reason for the absence on exam day (e.g. traveling to the funeral). There is really no need for the testimony of a therapist regarding these facts (someone died, the relationship to the student and the reason for the absence on a given day).
Now if the student wants to claim that she became ill and was unable to take exams due to illness (physical or mental), then the information provided by a clinician (physician, therapist, etc) confirming that the student was ill and would not be expected to recover during the exam period would be appropriate. However, that request to postpone exams due to illness should have been made prior to the exam or as soon after the exam as the student was well enough to contact the instructor.
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I would have to agree, I see a lot of people feeling sorry for OP, and not to discount the severity of the event that transgressed, you did have ample time (a week) to notify the school and work out some kind of plan that didn’t throw in your future medical career. Death of close family members is always hard, I was in the hospital until 3am due to an unexpected death of a family member whom I was very close with, still went to classes the next day (cried in between classes and what not) and did my job as a student. Granted everyone deals with tragedy in different ways, people die in medicine, you might want to reevaluate if this career is for you if you just completely breakdown with that kind of pressure. And I’m really sorry for your loss.
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I was just looking at my own university's policies on fresh starts, and this is what it looks like:
"Periodically, everyone needs a “do over” and, if you qualify, there are some unique policies at XXXX that might help you achieve that with your academic record. With the Academic Renewal Policy, qualifying students can be granted grade forgiveness in which all previously completed courses in which you earned a grade D+ or below will be forgiven.
Courses and grades will remain on your academic transcript, but the grades and hours earned will be expunged from your cumulative GPA and from your mandated degree requirements."
Note very carefully that it states the courses and grades remain on your transcript, so they wouldn't count for your school GPA but they sure as hell would still count for your AMCAS GPA. I don't know how many schools are like this, but I doubt my undergrad is the only one who does it this way. If yours works like this, even if you could get your grades expunged/forgiven, they'd still be on AMCAS so it would do you no good to continue to try to get them forgiven. You may just have to move on, accept the grades, and try to bring them up by taking extra courses, even a whole extra year if that's what it takes to bring your cumulative GPA back up. I'm sorry for your loss.
"Periodically, everyone needs a “do over” and, if you qualify, there are some unique policies at XXXX that might help you achieve that with your academic record. With the Academic Renewal Policy, qualifying students can be granted grade forgiveness in which all previously completed courses in which you earned a grade D+ or below will be forgiven.
Courses and grades will remain on your academic transcript, but the grades and hours earned will be expunged from your cumulative GPA and from your mandated degree requirements."
Note very carefully that it states the courses and grades remain on your transcript, so they wouldn't count for your school GPA but they sure as hell would still count for your AMCAS GPA. I don't know how many schools are like this, but I doubt my undergrad is the only one who does it this way. If yours works like this, even if you could get your grades expunged/forgiven, they'd still be on AMCAS so it would do you no good to continue to try to get them forgiven. You may just have to move on, accept the grades, and try to bring them up by taking extra courses, even a whole extra year if that's what it takes to bring your cumulative GPA back up. I'm sorry for your loss.
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I agree with Lizzy, you would have a significant task ahead of you to prove the mental inability to take the exams since so much time has transpired and it was the initial complaint.
I read this differently, if the grades and credit hours are removed there is nothing to report on AMCAS except a repeated course, one of which won’t have a grade and even if it did an F x 0 credit hours would still be nothing.
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Please do not say this. There should be no stigma attached to how someone deals with grief. Moreover, though you may have dealt with your loss differently, you are out of line to suggest that the way OP dealt with their loss would indicate that they couldn’t handle a career in medicine.
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Thank you for saying this. Dealing with the death of a loved one is not the same as dealing with the death of a patient. It is 100% normal and expected that OP was still devastated a week after her boyfriend's death. That has nothing to do with her ability to be a physician.
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As a teaching moment, we do look for resilience and good choice making. The OP was a victim of timing and bad policies...if she could have taken Ws' earlier, she would have. We look for this. But there are people who get sunk by life events....and we can't take the risk on them in med school, because med school is a pressure cooker enough as it is.
Again, key trait sought after is resilience. This is why the "tell of a time you dealt with adversity" is a common prompt on secondaries.
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Sorry for your loss OP.
I definitely agree with both comments, but unfortunately, adcoms have the power to look at it from any perspective they want. One realistic perspective is the following:
I definitely agree with both comments, but unfortunately, adcoms have the power to look at it from any perspective they want. One realistic perspective is the following:
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As I also said in my post, everyone deals with grief differently. I'm in no way implying that OP is weak or not suited for medicine because of how she griefs. However, the logical and responsible thing would have to reach out to school and make a plan to either retake/postpone exam or some sort of plan. Not saying OP should do this immediately, but she did have a week.
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Lol wtf
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I'm so sorry to learn of your loss. Having lost my father during my intern year, I understand how devastating grief can be.
I agree with the posters who suggested that you find a faculty advocate and petition your school for retroactive "Incomplete" grades. However, the policies governing these things are generally clearly defined, and administrators try to apply them consistently. I wouldn't hold out hope for those grades to be changed. Those F-equivalents are likely something you'll just have to deal with.
Multiple people in the most recent posts have stressed the importance of resilience and your own fault in your current situation. I agree with them, but I understand how grief can impair judgment and allow you to dig yourself into a hole. However, acknowledging the mistakes doesn't erase their consequences. What you need now is to repair the damage done. Here are my suggestions:
I agree with the posters who suggested that you find a faculty advocate and petition your school for retroactive "Incomplete" grades. However, the policies governing these things are generally clearly defined, and administrators try to apply them consistently. I wouldn't hold out hope for those grades to be changed. Those F-equivalents are likely something you'll just have to deal with.
Multiple people in the most recent posts have stressed the importance of resilience and your own fault in your current situation. I agree with them, but I understand how grief can impair judgment and allow you to dig yourself into a hole. However, acknowledging the mistakes doesn't erase their consequences. What you need now is to repair the damage done. Here are my suggestions:
- Get your head right. That means getting to a mental health professional. You may just need counseling and someone who can hear you, or you may need psychiatric attention and medicinal treatment. There is no shame in this! When my dad died, I ended up needing both counseling and antidepressants. That's what happens when you're a normal person suffering a great tragedy.
- Consider a gap year. This goes hand-in-hand with suggestion #1. It takes time to recover from a devastating loss. You're young and have plenty of time. (And yes, I understand the irony of saying you have plenty of time in the context of the current discussion. My defense is that the tragedy that befell your boyfriend is not a normal event, and it makes no sense to plan one's life around incredibly unlikely scenarios. It's safe to assume that you have plenty of time.) If you need a gap year or two while you deal with your grief, take it. If you apply when you're not ready, you'll get a de facto gap year anyway, plus the disadvantage of being a reapplicant.
- Do a post-bacc. You say you don't have money, but I say that's what loans and savings are for. If you can get the loans, it would be a great investment. If not, take a few years to work and save every penny. Do what it takes to make a post-bacc a reality for yourself. That will allow you to turn your grade trend around, which is exactly what you must do to convince adcoms that you've overcome your struggles and can handle the rigor of medical education.
- Don't rush the MCAT. As @gyngyn has astutely noted, "an MCAT score, like herpes, is forever."
I think your best bet is reaching out to local media as someone else suggested. If someone higher up at the school sees this they would not like it at all. This makes the school look horrible even though it is in compliance with their policy. What school if you don't mind sharing?
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I would just further advise that this should be the absolute last resort after all other options have been exhausted.
Honestly Ill go ahead and strongly disagree with the comments that place any blame on the OP for her choices. Her professors advised her to do this and she was not expecting this to happen. Education is hard, but doubly so when your faculty and administration does not have your back in a horrible situation. It makes me sad to see a distinct lack of empathy.
People tend to not make logical decisions after a death of a loved one. The last thing OP should have needed to worry about is her final exams.
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It’s not solving a problem if the solution someone offered you isn’t a solution. I still think people shouldn’t completely breakdown and stop functioning when such event occur, yes, one should take time for themselves but if they have other responsibilities, there should be a plan for them especially if other people is relying on you doing your job. I guess what I believe in is that you should take care of yourself, but be mindful of the consequences of you action and plan accordingly. We will just have to agree to disagree.
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I think this is a terrible idea. Looking at it from ADCOMs’ perspective, stirring up negative media drama to an institution doesn’t exactly shout outstanding applicant. It is almost like bad-mouthing a prior boss on your next job interview. If negotiation with the school doesn’t work, OP should own it up and do more classes to bring her grades up back. She still have decent shots because I would imagine that some ADCOMs would be receptive to this kind of drastic drop in GPA, if she explains it in good light, which includes owning up to her part of the mistake. With good post-bac records, she should do fine. And get professional help if you need it.
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