Medical Terminology as Spoken by the Layperson...

[indo]

Where is the thread about making fun of illiterate mexicans?

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[FISKUS]

The babys got head lights.

What?

You know , those little crawley things.

Oh , head lice

 

[Febrifuge]

Where is the thread about making fun of illiterate mexicans?

If they can't read it, what's the point?

 

[gro2001]

'cuz you will eventually climb into a clock tower with a high powered rifle - and I want to be wearin' a vest.

Actually it seems a kevlar vest does not provide sufficient protection from rifle shootings. Even at considerable distance.

 

[Sage880]

This thread was amusing!

There's a whole other subset of rural slang over here in Ireland. I spent about 10 minutes questioning an elderly lady because she said her brother died of Queer Fellows..... I finally went and asked an Irish classmate.

It's cancer by the way. They don't like to use the "C" word over here at all.

 

[Interpolfanclub]

Me: "We tapped your knee and found that you have gout. Any docs ever tell you that you have gout before?"
Pt: "No. One said I had dat travellin' arthritis."
Me: "What is travellin arthritis?"
Pt: "I don't know." [laughs]
Me: "Well, then you have travellin arthritis' and now you have gout too."

Note: Pt from Jersey, is gout called travellin arthritis in Jersey??

 

[EMT2RN2MD]

Funkest isn't just superlative slang used to describe George Clinton's music. It can also grow in your ear and cause painin's

 

[deuist]

Me: "We tapped your knee and found that you have gout. Any docs ever tell you that you have gout before?"
Pt: "No. One said I had dat travellin' arthritis."
Me: "What is travellin arthritis?"
Pt: "I don't know." [laughs]
Me: "Well, then you have travellin arthritis' and now you have gout too."

Note: Pt from Jersey, is gout called travellin arthritis in Jersey??

Could he have meant a migrating arthritis from a GC infection?

 

[Scrubbs]

Haven't been on here in a while - but its nice to see my little thread is still a stickie...

 

[FoughtFyr]

Haven't been on here in a while - but its nice to see my little thread is still a stickie...

WELCOME BACK! Are you still in Philly?

- H

 

[Scrubbs]

WELCOME BACK! Are you still in Philly?

- H

Officially hijacking my own thread... Yes - I'm still in Philly. Attending life rocks - though it has its days. Nice to be done with residency though. I actually just got asked to write my first SLOR - lol!

Hope all is well with everyone!

 

[cls4n6]

7th grade- first oral report. first line: the octopus has eight testicles...... learned to spell right away


epidemiology case as a vd invstigator years ago- pt had primary syphillis, wife had secondary- taking his history--claimed to have had a 'sore on his subpoena' 6 mos earlier... (what kind of business was his layer in anyway???)

 

[Wackie]

7th grade- first oral report. first line: the octopus has eight testicles...... learned to spell right away


epidemiology case as a vd invstigator years ago- pt had primary syphillis, wife had secondary- taking his history--claimed to have had a 'sore on his subpoena' 6 mos earlier... (what kind of business was his layer in anyway???)

Oh the irony.


My sister in law ordered testicles instead of tentacles at a fine eating establishment. The waiter was confused and then I think secretly aroused.

 

[deleted59964]

Me to CVA patient's sister : "Is the right leg completely paralysed"
Patients sister : "Yes that leg is paradise, and her arm is paradise too"

 

[Kittenmommy]

I heard this one the other day:

Super Heart Partying = Supraventricular Tachycardia

I'm not sure what that is, but since (I think) Tachycardia is an abnormal heart rhythm, that almost makes a weird kind of sense.

Now I'm imagining a heart dancing around madly with a little party hat on top...

 

[docB]

90 yo M presents by ambulance with constipation and rectal pain.

CC is (not making this up) "My animus is giving me pain."

an·i·mus –noun 1. strong dislike or enmity; hostile attitude; animosity.
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/animus

I said "You know, mine is too."

 

[youdrssuck]

I find this thread totally offensive and racist. Show some class, people--you're going to be doctors (or you already are docs, unfortunately) who are going to be taking care of a diverse group of patients--and you laugh at them and the way the speak?

Wish I knew where you are all going to practice so I can avoid you.

I was just looking something up and ran across this thread. Not affiliated with the medical industry at all.

I agree with the above statement. You all sound like a bunch of dinguses. I hope to god I never have one of you responsible for my health care.

You're supposed to take care of people, remember? Seriously, grow up and show some class.

Sad state in here. Makes me look at medical professionals in a whole new light.

 

[VA Hopeful Dr]

I was just looking something up and ran across this thread. Not affiliated with the medical industry at all.

I agree with the above statement. You all sound like a bunch of dinguses. I hope to god I never have one of you responsible for my health care.

You're supposed to take care of people, remember? Seriously, grow up and show some class.

Sad state in here. Makes me look at medical professionals in a whole new light.

Read this other thread, then decide if you want to come back and apologize for what you've said here.

http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=154841

 

[f_w]

I guess that brings the total number of people who 'don't get' this thread to about 3.

 

[gutonc]

I was just looking something up and ran across this thread. Not affiliated with the medical industry at all.

So it's safe to assume that you didn't spend your Friday afternoon telling 3 different people that they have metastatic lung cancer and likely have 3-9 months left to live. That's what I did.

You're supposed to take care of people, remember? Seriously, grow up and show some class.

Yup, I take care of people every day. Most of them are very sick and a good number of them will die long before the lease on your car is up. I spend most of my day lining up their diagnostic and treatment regimens and working with my colleagues to provide social and financial support to them and their families during what is likely the hardest time of their lives.

Then I go home and I have two options for how to deal with my day:
1. Read SDN and have a quick laugh about some of the things I or others saw that day.
2. Put a bullet in my head because what I do day in and day out is so damn depressing

I choose option 1 because I love my wife and 5 month old daughter and because I love the work I do and I feel that I make a difference in my patients' lives and if I didn't do it, there might not be a person who did.

Let me offer another example. When I'm on call, I'm on the "code team" which means that if somebody stops breathing or their heart stops beating while they're in the hospital, it's my and my colleagues job to go and try to start it again. In spite of all of our tools and knowledge, that process is rarely successful and most people who "code" don't make it out of the hospital still breathing. But after we code somebody (usually unsuccessfully), I go back to work, usually for another 12-20 hours. Something tells me that if you watched somebody die at work, you'd probably take the rest of the day/week off...we don't have that luxury. Humor is the only luxury we have, don't try to rob us of it.

Sad state in here. Makes me look at medical professionals in a whole new light.

Hopefully it makes you see them as human beings. Most of the people on this board work in the trenches of medicine with the sickest people you can imagine, it's not easy to go back to that 14 hour day after 30 hour day after 14 hour day. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry...constantly.

Your post on the other hand made us see you as a complete douchenozzle with a vague grasp of Google and not much else going on in your life. But thanks for sharing. When you get done reading the "Medicine Sucks" thread, be sure to come back and share some more...dickbreath.

 

[doctawife]

Your post on the other hand made us see you as a complete douchenozzle with a vague grasp of Google and not much else going on in your life. But thanks for sharing. When you get done reading the "Medicine Sucks" thread, be sure to come back and share some more...dickbreath.

Heh. You used douchenozzle and dickbreath in the same paragraph. Nice work!

Anyway, I had two vomickings today but only one painin'.

Slow day.

 

[deuist]

Something tells me that if you watched somebody die at work, you'd probably take the rest of the day/week off...we don't have that luxury. Humor is the only luxury we have, don't try to rob us of it.

Dr. Cox on Scrubs addressed this very issue. A resident was taking offense that attendings were making fun of patients. Cox replied, "You see Dr. Wen in there? He's explaining to that family that something went wrong and that the patient died. He's gonna tell them what happened, he's gonna say he's sorry, and then he's going back to work. You think anybody else in that room is going back to work today? That is why we distance ourselves, that's why we make jokes. We don't do it because it's fun -- we do it so we can get by...and sometimes because it's fun. But mostly it's the getting by thing."

 

[hyperbaric]

I was just looking something up and ran across this thread. Not affiliated with the medical industry at all.

I agree with the above statement. You all sound like a bunch of dinguses. I hope to god I never have one of you responsible for my health care.

You're supposed to take care of people, remember? Seriously, grow up and show some class.

Sad state in here. Makes me look at medical professionals in a whole new light.

Aging Well: Surprising Guideposts to a Happier Life from the Landmark Harvard Study of Adult Development. Dr. George E. Vaillant, MD

Mature Defenses -- Adaptive coping strategies

The first of the mature defenses is "Sublimation" and is often seen where "the pain of childhood becomes transmuted in the mature artist's masterpiece." As a virtue "sublimation" can be seen as "artistic creation to resolve conflict and spinning straw into gold." Dr.Vaillant addresses how "sublimation" could be expressed in our patient above, "She got great pleasure from the get-well cards from her sister's children; she agreed to teach a Sunday school class of preschoolers; she had a poem published in her hometown weekly on the bittersweet joys of the childless aunt."

The second mature defense is "Humor," which "allows us to look directly at what is painful. Humor permits the expression of emotion without individual discomfort and without unpleasant effects upon others. Miraculously humor transforms pain into the ridiculous." "Humor, as a virtue can be seen as "the ability not to take oneself too seriously." Our oft mentioned patient above laughs uncontrollably when she comments to the nurse about the irony that while she cannot bear children after her hysterectomy, she is still a woman with the same sexual drives. Humor allows her to deal constructively with what would otherwise be an overwhelmingly depressing reality.

The third mature defense is "Altruism," which "involves getting pleasure from giving to others what we ourselves would like to receive." "For example, although victims of childhood sexual abuse often mindlessly abuse children themselves (acting out), alternatively and transformatively, such victims work in shelters for battered women and in support groups or hotlines for abuse victims." As a virtue, "altruism" can be seen as "doing as one would be done by."

The fourth mature defense is "Suppression" which can be seen as "stoicism." "Suppression has none of the deep humanity of altruism, sublimation, or humor, but when used effectively, suppression is analogous to a well-trimmed sail; every restriction is precisely calculated to exploit, not hide, the winds of passion." "Both repression and suppression, for the present, put desire out of mind. But the next day when the time is ripe, only suppression remembers." As a virtue, "suppression" cam be seen as "a stiff upper lip, patience, seeing the bright side."

 

[gutonc]

Dr. Cox on Scrubs addressed this very issue. A resident was taking offense that attendings were making fun of patients. Cox replied, "You see Dr. Wen in there? He's explaining to that family that something went wrong and that the patient died. He's gonna tell them what happened, he's gonna say he's sorry, and then he's going back to work. You think anybody else in that room is going back to work today? That is why we distance ourselves, that's why we make jokes. We don't do it because it's fun -- we do it so we can get by...and sometimes because it's fun. But mostly it's the getting by thing."

That's one of my favorite Scrubs episodes. We had a workshop the other day w/ a session about dealing with death and they started it off by showing that clip. Just goes to show what I tell anyone who asks...the most realistic medical show on TV right now (ever?) is Scrubs.

 

[FISKUS]

I was just looking something up and ran across this thread. Not affiliated with the medical industry at all.

I agree with the above statement. You all sound like a bunch of dinguses. I hope to god I never have one of you responsible for my health care.

You're supposed to take care of people, remember? Seriously, grow up and show some class.

Sad state in here. Makes me look at medical professionals in a whole new light.

45 y/o fast food managers like your self should stick to the entertainment news... You are commenting on a world that you know nothing about.

 

[Meatwad]

Guys, c'mon... "youdrssuck" is obviously an EM doc or some other resident/med student yanking your proverbial chains. It's gotta be someone's alternate username.

 

[Kittenmommy]

Guys, c'mon... "youdrssuck" is obviously an EM doc or some other resident/med student yanking your proverbial chains. It's gotta be someone's alternate username.

A sockpuppet! Here on SDN! Oh, the drama!

ETA: No, it's not my sock; I have nothing but admiration for the people here. You guys face heartbreaking things every single day and still manage to go on. I don't know if I could do it.

 

[Mudfever]

This is great. I've been working as a ABG/EKG tech (pre-med student worker) in the ED and have heard a few.

When asked if the patient had put any medicine on a wound, "Yeah, I put me some of that "neosperm" on it.

"BO-Gina"

And one from my wife when she was on her OB rotation. Pt had a hysterectomy and an infection of the cuff. My wife walked in the room and asked how the patient was doing

Pt: "I have a dripping, rotting, pu$$y, how the F**K you think I'm doin?"

Jason

 

[ISR]

Dont' forget about the ones that have "the stankin in the v-junk down there"

 

[Laughatmw]

Feel free to laugh at me if you want. I have been a recipient of emergency medical care more then a few times. I can not believe the few but vocal people saying that they hope they never have the doctors in this thread treating them. I have a short list of requests for my doctors, it is as follows: treat me and diagnose me in a competent and timely fashion. That is it. When I was younger I was almost blinded because I was fooling around dangerously with a buddy and a potato cannon. I really don't care if that makes me a running joke in the ER, or if a DR. and a bunch of his Dr. buddies laugh at me behind their backs. All I care is that I showed up to get treated, and recieved care that stopped me from going blind.

I feel like some of the negative reaction this thread has received is a result of an expectation that doctors somehow behave as superhuman and without human emotion. I have worked in customer service a lot. If you mispronounce a product or act ignorantly we laugh at you behind your back. If you create unnecessary work or stress for an employee, you will be mocked. If you can't stand strangers having fun at your expense never leave the house. In retail and restaurant service the stress leads to you the customer being constantly mocked. The only thing saving you from getting spit in your meal is the laugh we have when you are gone. Restaurants are stressful but pale in to comparison to emergency medical care.

All doctors and future doctors, ignore the anger on this thread. On behalf of all patients fix what is wrong with me and then do whatever it takes to get through your day even if it includes mocking the way I dress, talk, or act.

 

[Kittenmommy]

Feel free to laugh at me if you want. I have been a recipient of emergency medical care more then a few times. I can not believe the few but vocal people saying that they hope they never have the doctors in this thread treating them. I have a short list of requests for my doctors, it is as follows: treat me and diagnose me in a competent and timely fashion. That is it. When I was younger I was almost blinded because I was fooling around dangerously with a buddy and a potato cannon. I really don't care if that makes me a running joke in the ER, or if a DR. and a bunch of his Dr. buddies laugh at me behind their backs. All I care is that I showed up to get treated, and recieved care that stopped me from going blind.

I feel like some of the negative reaction this thread has received is a result of an expectation that doctors somehow behave as superhuman and without human emotion. I have worked in customer service a lot. If you mispronounce a product or act ignorantly we laugh at you behind your back. If you create unnecessary work or stress for an employee, you will be mocked. If you can't stand strangers having fun at your expense never leave the house. In retail and restaurant service the stress leads to you the customer being constantly mocked. The only thing saving you from getting spit in your meal is the laugh we have when you are gone. Restaurants are stressful but pale in to comparison to emergency medical care.

All doctors and future doctors, ignore the anger on this thread. On behalf of all patients fix what is wrong with me and then do whatever it takes to get through your day even if it includes mocking the way I dress, talk, or act.

Amen!

And there's an entire LiveJournal comm devoted to mocking stupid customers. It's called, rather unsurprisingly, Customers Suck!. Anyone who thinks that people in other fields don't mock the ignorant, difficult, or just plain stupid people that they have to deal with day in and day out should go there and disabuse themselves of that foolish notion.

 

[Laughatmw]

Amen!

And there's an entire LiveJournal comm devoted to mocking stupid customers. It's called, rather unsurprisingly, Customers Suck!. Anyone who thinks that people in other fields don't mock the ignorant, difficult, or just plain stupid people that they have to deal with day in and day out should go there and disabuse themselves of that foolish notion.

More then one or two of my stories are on Customers Suck, which is why I identified with this thread. I hope I am not out of line posting here, but it seemed like so far the only non docs were saying "how dare you?".

 

[Kittenmommy]

More then one or two of my stories are on Customers Suck, which is why I identified with this thread. I hope I am not out of line posting here, but it seemed like so far the only non docs were saying "how dare you?".

I'm a non-doc too, and I love this thread. I guess some people don't understand that doctors and other health care workers are human too and occasionally need to blow off steam just like everyone else.

 

[Wackie]

I overheard these:

Fireballs in my ukerus
[fibroids in my uterus]

"What are you going to do about my acid reflecting?" [acid reflux]

Was in the room for (this was one patient):

Cute Pancreanmitis
Metafloralin
Divies [diabetes]

 

[GoofyDoc]

"No I haven't passed any fetus yet."

Fetus=feces
(Patient 2 days post-colonoscopy)

 

[docB]

"I allegedly have diarrhea."

Hmmm. You don't say. Well when you're sure let me know.

Some patients seem to love using big words to describe their symptoms even if they don't know what the words mean.

 

[Faze2]

"I allegedly have diarrhea."

Hmmm. You don't say. Well when you're sure let me know.

Some patients seem to love using big words to describe their symptoms even if they don't know what the words mean.

Ha! I love that. With a few exceptions, nothing says "I'm a *****" more than when that happens. (oops sorry YOUDRSSUCK)

Example: Anything Mike Tyson has ever said.

 

[Meatwad]

Example: Anything Mike Tyson has ever said.

"I guess I'll just go fade into Bolivia..."

 

[doctawife]

And one from my wife when she was on her OB rotation. Pt had a hysterectomy and an infection of the cuff. My wife walked in the room and asked how the patient was doing

Pt: "I have a dripping, rotting, pu$$y, how the F**K you think I'm doin?"

Classic. I've always been a little amazed that whenever I say, "Hi, how are you?" as I walk into a patient room that 95 of 100 times, the patient replies, "Fine."

If you're fine, why the **** are you in my ER? I much prefer your wife's patient's answer.

 

[Kittenmommy]

Classic. I've always been a little amazed that whenever I say, "Hi, how are you?" as I walk into a patient room that 95 of 100 times, the patient replies, "Fine."

If you're fine, why the **** are you in my ER? I much prefer your wife's patient's answer.

I think it's almost automatic to answer that question with "fine", no matter how we feel. There have been plenty of times when I've felt like absolute hell, but someone said, "How are you?" and I replied, "Fine!" without even thinking about it.

 

[EM2BE]

My answer to the question is fine or to be expected in this situation.

 

[doctawife]

My answer to the question is fine or to be expected in this situation.

I like option #2. The other response I've always liked was when the parent says s/he is fine, but then points to his/her child and says something like, "But I'm not so sure about him..."

 

[EM2BE]

I like option #2. The other response I've always liked was when the parent says s/he is fine, but then points to his/her child and says something like, "But I'm not so sure about him..."

I tend to use the but after fine...as in "fine, but this _____ is concerning me / bothering me, but not killing me" granted, this is a dr's visit...only been to ED a few times (need stitches and passing out for no reason)

 

[Febrifuge]

In my tech days, I was fond of saying things like "so, other than the nail protruding from your hand, how are you doing?"

I found that you can spot the cooler patients because they say, "eh. I'm still breathing, anyway."

 

[Dr34566]

Ha! I love that. With a few exceptions, nothing says "I'm a *****" more than when that happens. (oops sorry YOUDRSSUCK)

Example: Anything Mike Tyson has ever said.

My Favorite Mike Tyson Quote
“[He] called me a ‘rapist’ and a ‘recluse.’ I’m not a recluse.”
On Lennox Lewis
"Lennox Lewis, I'm coming for you man. My style is impetuous. My defense is impregnable, and I'm just ferocious. I want your heart. I want to eat his children. Praise be to Allah!"
"My main objective is to be professional but to kill him."
"I want to rip out his heart and feed it to him [Lennox Lewis]. I want to kill people. I want to rip their stomachs out and eat their children."
On Evander Holyfield
"You got nothing coming, man. I'm going to enjoy this fight."
After biting Holyfield he said, "This is my career. I have children to raise. I have to retaliate. He butted me. Look at me. My kids will be scared of me."
"I felt Holyfield was using his head illegally. I told the referee I wasn't getting any help, so I went back to the streets. I cannot defend it, but it happened."
On Razor Ruddock
"You're sweet. I'm going to make sure you kiss me good with those big lips. I'm gonna make you my girlfriend."




http://kjkolb.tripod.com/homepage/miketysonquotes.html

 

[MeganRose]

Feel free to laugh at me if you want. I have been a recipient of emergency medical care more then a few times. I can not believe the few but vocal people saying that they hope they never have the doctors in this thread treating them. I have a short list of requests for my doctors, it is as follows: treat me and diagnose me in a competent and timely fashion. That is it. When I was younger I was almost blinded because I was fooling around dangerously with a buddy and a potato cannon. I really don't care if that makes me a running joke in the ER, or if a DR. and a bunch of his Dr. buddies laugh at me behind their backs. All I care is that I showed up to get treated, and recieved care that stopped me from going blind.

I feel like some of the negative reaction this thread has received is a result of an expectation that doctors somehow behave as superhuman and without human emotion. I have worked in customer service a lot. If you mispronounce a product or act ignorantly we laugh at you behind your back. If you create unnecessary work or stress for an employee, you will be mocked. If you can't stand strangers having fun at your expense never leave the house. In retail and restaurant service the stress leads to you the customer being constantly mocked. The only thing saving you from getting spit in your meal is the laugh we have when you are gone. Restaurants are stressful but pale in to comparison to emergency medical care.

All doctors and future doctors, ignore the anger on this thread. On behalf of all patients fix what is wrong with me and then do whatever it takes to get through your day even if it includes mocking the way I dress, talk, or act.

My negative reaction comes from the fact that the thread is called Medical Ebonics. Pts say some funny ish but in my experience stupidity is an equal opp experience. And yes, despite previous protestation to the contrary, the term Ebonics is racially specific.

 

[Febrifuge]

I'd support a change of the thread title... but I vaguely recall we talked about the specific term 'Ebonics' early on in the thread. On the order of 2003 or something.

One of the most troublesome things about online message boards is the idea of 'thread drift,' because it's natural for the subject to change and progress (in real life, we call this "conversation").

The problem is that online, it's especially easy to come into things partway through, with no idea of what has been said before, and make observations or judgements based on what you see. Sometimes that's valid (MeganRose is right; that is the title of the thread, after all) and sometimes it's not (everybody who's offended should check to make sure they're not raising the same %@$# objection that's been raised 12 times before).

The solution is to read EVERY post in a thread before posting, but that's not practical with really long threads.

In short, people should try to be understanding, or at least aware that a 9-page thread doesn't have the same qualities as a new one.

 

[deuist]

My negative reaction comes from the fact that the thread is called Medical Ebonics. Pts say some funny ish but in my experience stupidity is an equal opp experience. And yes, despite previous protestation to the contrary, the term Ebonics is racially specific.

Maybe you should read a bit more about the history of the word "Ebonics" before raining on our parade.

 

[BackeyWackey]

I know it's not really related, but I thought i'd share. We have a lady that comes in every two weeks for her clonazepam at the pharmacy.

"Can I come and have my cosmopolotin, please?" is what she asks for everytime. haha

 

[malingering]

When talking to an asthmatic in our ER she told me:
"I ain't never been incubated for my breedin'"