Its time again for Sam's poetry minute - please note this was a product of a bored brain doing pediatrics...I'm not that morose anymore.
So here we are,
my fellow GA-PCOMers,
Rotating through peds and trauma
and malodorous vaginers.
80 hours max they say,
and no weekend call
Theyre lying through their teeth,
From exhaustion Im going to fall.
But I got even with them:
I stole hospital food;
The jello, toast and twinkies .
Put my colon in a bad mood.
I ran to the facilities
And encountered a horrible whiff;
Never use the patients bathroom,
You could end up with C.diff!!
If you indeed get that disease,
Self-treat with metronidazole,
Just be quick,
Or say goodbye to your dingus.
By stealing hospital scrubs
I saved some cash;
I tried hospital gowns,
To air out my new MRSA rash.
I looked like a clown,
I caused a sensation,
When my bum hung out the gown,
Like a breech presentation.
I was climbing the stairs,
From the 1st to 7th floor;
When I tumbled down the steps,
And smashed into a steel door.
I ruptured my spleen,
I might need a lap chole;
Hey!?, Whats that I feel?
Oh Sh** its a Foley!!
I yell to the attending:
Get it out, GET IT OUT!!;
My cries on deaf ears;
Urine dribbles down the spout.
So here we are, fellow GAPCOMers,
I got MRSA and a foley within 24 hours;
Its been quite a trip,
With my vanc drip;
I want to go home
But got Red-Man syndrome.
Why am I in med school?
cuz Im a complete tool.
Im paying 36 grand!!
To disimpact with my hand.
I shouldve been a chiropractor,
Instead of holding this retractor.
I shouldve opened a motel,
Then have to go through this hell.
And so fellow GAPCOMers,
Do not despair!!
This is rotation 4 of 24,
And Ive only got one gray hair!!