Ever since I took the GRE in June and sent in my applications over PTCAS, I haven't slept more than two hours. I am a pretty calm person, level-headed and collected, and have been on stage and in front of large crowds for the past 10 years, yet I am now more anxious than ever! Every day at work as a PT Aide, I doubt myself being a PT in the future. I doubt every decision I've made to make this my career. Even though my boss told me that he has NEVER seen someone pick up the field so quickly, I doubt that I'm even good enough to make it through school. Even though I was once set to study Biology at a prestigious school on a full-ride, I still don't think I have what it takes to make it through Gross Anat. at the graduate level. This haunts me every night. I told my boss in a rant about this that I think I should study it on my own again, to which he replied "That's what school is for." When the PT at my office quizzes me, I always fail the anatomy. He tells me that I need to know it. I tell him I had to take it online so I could work 40+ hours and that I learned NOTHING. So, in my dreams, I always see myself crying, failing, and being kicked out of school. All of these started during this "waiting" period. Applying Early Decision to UIC was one of the things I'm most proud of (I changed career paths in less than a year!) and yet the very next day I had a panic attack.
Thanks for being cool enough to start this post, I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling this way. I know my doubts are natural, I know that I will probably make it through fine. I understand that DPT will be challenging, hard, and daunting. But, what gives me peace is working right now as a PT Aide, and making a difference. I see what works with the PT's I help, I see what doesn't, and I'm learning. Now if only I could remember a few more names of the muscles, I'd be golden!