Does this doctor like me or is he just being nice?

[peaberrytree]

Doing rotations at a hospital in a small rural town, and will remain there until May. I started there with my surgery rotation. I met Dr. A, one of the few young docs, through my preceptor. He was good eye candy and nothing more. During the rotation, my preceptor invited me and doctors out to eat a few times. There, I got to know Dr. A a little better. We found out we had things in common: Same culture, similar backgrounds, likes video games, a foodie, similar sense of humor. It's nice to know someone you can relate to in a foreign town. During my last week of rotation, I passed him in the hall and told him I was running to the library. He hit my arm with his patient chart and laughed and told me it was the opposite direction. I thought this brief interaction seemed borderline flirtatious but I ignored it.

After returning from winter break, my surg preceptor invited everyone out again. After dinner, Dr. A and I stepped outside away from everyone else for a minute and caught up and started talking enthusiastically about Japanese cuisine and some exotic food ingredients that I can't find in this town. He told me "I have those. Want to come over to my house right now and pick it up? I live near ..." I responded that I have to drive my roommate bk home, which was true. I don't know if he being friendly or if this was a come on. I feel most guys don't just offer a girl food items or have them "pick up" food from their home, do they? Any opinions?

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[SpartanWolverine]

Doing rotations at a hospital in a small rural town, and will remain there until May. I started there with my surgery rotation. I met Dr. A, one of the few young docs, through my preceptor. He was good eye candy and nothing more. During the rotation, my preceptor invited me and doctors out to eat a few times. There, I got to know Dr. A a little better. We found out we had things in common: Same culture, similar backgrounds, likes video games, a foodie, similar sense of humor. It's nice to know someone you can relate to in a foreign town. During my last week of rotation, I passed him in the hall and told him I was running to the library. He hit my arm with his patient chart and laughed and told me it was the opposite direction. I thought this brief interaction seemed borderline flirtatious but I ignored it.

After returning from winter break, my surg preceptor invited everyone out again. After dinner, Dr. A and I stepped outside away from everyone else for a minute and caught up and started talking enthusiastically about Japanese cuisine and some exotic food ingredients that I can't find in this town. He told me "I have those. Want to come over to my house right now and pick it up? I live near ..." I responded that I have to drive my roommate bk home, which was true. I don't know if he being friendly or if this was a come on. I feel most guys don't just offer a girl food items or have them "pick up" food from their home, do they? Any opinions?

Seems like the line is being toed a bit. If I were him and it seemed like you actually wanted ... I dunno... yuzu, I would offer to bring it in the next day and not ask you to come to my place.

However, it also seems like you're totally going along with it all... and I bet it comes off like you're flirting with him (or else you probably wouldn't describe him as "eye candy") so it's hard to tell if a line is being crossed since one hasn't been set. However, I personally find that to be a bit beyond where a student/attending relationship should be.

 

[Seth Joo]

Doing rotations at a hospital in a small rural town, and will remain there until May. I started there with my surgery rotation. I met Dr. A, one of the few young docs, through my preceptor. He was good eye candy and nothing more. During the rotation, my preceptor invited me and doctors out to eat a few times. There, I got to know Dr. A a little better. We found out we had things in common: Same culture, similar backgrounds, likes video games, a foodie, similar sense of humor. It's nice to know someone you can relate to in a foreign town. During my last week of rotation, I passed him in the hall and told him I was running to the library. He hit my arm with his patient chart and laughed and told me it was the opposite direction. I thought this brief interaction seemed borderline flirtatious but I ignored it.

After returning from winter break, my surg preceptor invited everyone out again. After dinner, Dr. A and I stepped outside away from everyone else for a minute and caught up and started talking enthusiastically about Japanese cuisine and some exotic food ingredients that I can't find in this town. He told me "I have those. Want to come over to my house right now and pick it up? I live near ..." I responded that I have to drive my roommate bk home, which was true. I don't know if he being friendly or if this was a come on. I feel most guys don't just offer a girl food items or have them "pick up" food from their home, do they? Any opinions?

I would tread very carefully with people who have a professional relationship with you, just saying, not a good idea to mix business with pleasure, it usually never ends well. Its better to date people in another profession or line work, it keeps life fun and interesting and also keeps you out of any kind of potential problems.

 

[The_Sunny_Doc]

Is there a ring on his finger?

If I were you, I'd be more distant, yet still polite. What he proposed doesn't sound entirely professional.

 

[1nnocuous]

You're leaving out the most important part--are you interested in starting something up with him?

 

[Seth Joo]

You're leaving out the most important part--are you interested in starting something up with him?

Getting personal with someone at work is a big mistake.

 

[EMDO2018]

Doing rotations at a hospital in a small rural town, and will remain there until May. I started there with my surgery rotation. I met Dr. A, one of the few young docs, through my preceptor. He was good eye candy and nothing more. During the rotation, my preceptor invited me and doctors out to eat a few times. There, I got to know Dr. A a little better. We found out we had things in common: Same culture, similar backgrounds, likes video games, a foodie, similar sense of humor. It's nice to know someone you can relate to in a foreign town. During my last week of rotation, I passed him in the hall and told him I was running to the library. He hit my arm with his patient chart and laughed and told me it was the opposite direction. I thought this brief interaction seemed borderline flirtatious but I ignored it.

After returning from winter break, my surg preceptor invited everyone out again. After dinner, Dr. A and I stepped outside away from everyone else for a minute and caught up and started talking enthusiastically about Japanese cuisine and some exotic food ingredients that I can't find in this town. He told me "I have those. Want to come over to my house right now and pick it up? I live near ..." I responded that I have to drive my roommate bk home, which was true. I don't know if he being friendly or if this was a come on. I feel most guys don't just offer a girl food items or have them "pick up" food from their home, do they? Any opinions?

Girls think too much.

 

[touchpause13]

Girls think too much.

Looks like you haven't changed much.
For someone who is so focused on stereotypes/discrimination/mistreatment based off of race, you are awfully quick to exhibit those same behaviors when it comes to gender.

 

[Seth Joo]

Girls think too much.

Women read into things too much, if you even compliment them, smile at them, tell them that its a sunny day, or its a rainy day they try reading into the meaning of it.

I know most male physicians understand that getting involved with a female in a workplace, particularly a subordinate can be a recipe for trouble and a harassment lawsuit. I am starting to believe she is reading to much into him just being a nice guy.

 

[The_Sunny_Doc]

Women read into things too much, if you even compliment them, smile at them, tell them that its a sunny day, or its a rainy day they try reading into the meaning of it.

I know most male physicians understand that getting involved with a female in a workplace, particularly a subordinate can be a recipe for trouble and a harassment lawsuit. I am starting to believe she is reading to much into him just being a nice guy.

Try being a woman in the working world and then come back and make such a claim. Every man who eventually attempted to get too close for comfort started with those seemingly harmless compliments.

 

[Seth Joo]

Try being a woman in the working world and then come back and make such a claim. Every man who eventually attempted to get too close for comfort started with those seemingly harmless compliments.

Well in this case, the OP seems to be welcoming the attention she is getting and is interpreting the male doctor's signals as that of interest. I get smiled at all time by females in professional settings all the time, but I never really read much into it because a smile is very ambiguous. Other forms of expression are not.

When a person winks at another person of the opposite gender it usually has a sexual or romantic connotation, and this is inappropriate, and it has happened to be a number of times where a female colleague has done this to me.

Am I also supposed to tolerate being winked at?

 

[PlutoBoy]

Go for it. Get honors.

 

[Seth Joo]

I would say stay away from him. Find someone outside of Medicine, you will be happier for it.

 

[peaberrytree]

Try being a woman in the working world and then come back and make such a claim. Every man who eventually attempted to get too close for comfort started with those seemingly harmless compliments.

That's how it's been in my experience - those harmless comments come from guys who eventually reveal that they like you. I haven't seen him since beginning of my new rotation since I work at another site several minutes away from the hospital. Perhaps I need don't need to worry.

So throwing out the professional hierarchy... a guy inviting a girl to come to pick up food at their house is just an innocent gesture of a nice guy?

 

[j4pac]

goodness...nobody answered the girls question.

Yes...he is likely into you. If he is an attending responsible for evaluating you then I would advise to keep your distance. If he is some random attending who is not over you...who cares?

 

[peaberrytree]

goodness...nobody answered the girls question.

Yes...he is likely into you. If he is an attending responsible for evaluating you then I would advise to keep your distance. If he is some random attending who is not over you...who cares?

Thanks! No, he doesn't grade me. Just a random doc in the hospital.

 

[Chemistry>Physics]

Thanks! No, he doesn't grade me. Just a random doc in the hospital.

Go for the guy and cook some exotic cuisine with the dude!