Just wondering, is there anyone here in their early twenties who finds the age-old notion of marriage (and kids and suburbs) repulsive, at least for the time being? At this point in my life at least, I just want to get laid as frequently as possible. Come on guys, I know Im not the only one.
Yes, many people, including me, do find it repulsive and of no use. I see marriage as a contract written between a man and a woman, just like other business contracts. However, there are no benefits to be reaped for the guy in a marriage in this era. You want free sex? There are plenty of women to offer it to you in the club. You want a companion for a long term relationship? You can meet beautiful educated girls in college, at work, etc, who will stick with you (without pushing you to get married), if you have some good characteristics (looks or money or personality, all of them, some of them, etc). You want someone to do the laundry, and clean up the house? Hire a house-keeper for about $100 a month. You want someone to cook? Most girls can't even cook these days (Frying eggs over easy doesn't count) Now, if you want to have kids, then get married, cause whoever breeds in this century, should be responsible for bringing the kids up properly for the sake of the society. However, I am not even interested in having kids, since I plan on enjoying my life more, when I end up graduating as a specialist in my early 30's with about 400k in debt.
When I hear talk about such things as how people are supposed to end up in marriage and all that, I just wonder sometimes about how marriage (and kids and suburbs) got to be the natural course of life, and I question its validity as such.
Sometimes I think Im weird for having these naughty, filthy thoughts, but then Im reminded of that statistic about how like 60% or more of marriages end in divorce and wonder about what is really right. (And there are a number of people in society who would rather die than get a divorce, so I suspect that that percentage would be a lot higher if divorce was just as acceptable as marriage.) Whats up with that?
To me, the divorce rate suggests that perhaps people are somehow pressured into marriage. Maybe they feel they should get married now while they're still physically attractive so they can at least get laid by their legally declared lovers at age 60 when they might not be so appealing to anyone else. Maybe it's that they feel they'd be friendless and lonely at 60 if not for a spouse. Maybe it's just the societal expectation. I think such pressures lead people to hastily plunge into marriage without having fully vetted their partners and thus without being wholeheartedly committed to the eternal binding of marriage. In this case, problems that later arise become enough to unseat ones already suboptimal devotion to another. Yes, most guys are pressured into marriage. I brought up a scenario in a few posts above. Most guys wouldn't get married, they had the option. It's kinda like,the guy sticks with this girl for two years, and kinda falls in love with her, then she starts pushing on him to get married. Out of weakness, the guy gives up at some point, failing to realize that there are other options for him out there, and also failing to realize that saying "no" might work as well.
I guess Im not fundamentally opposed to the romanticized concept of marriage: finding someone who is so incredible that youd actually be willing to abandon bachelorhood and spend the rest of your life with just that one person. Its just that that person would have to be pretty hot pickings, and it seems that in at least 60% of marriages, this isnt the case. See, this is the tricky part. It has somehow been engraved in the society's mind that romance shall be achieved by getting married. People fail to understand that a couple can live romatically together for as long as things work out, and simply leave each other, if they can't solve their problems.
Finding such a great person may be possible, but perhaps it is impractical. Maybe people shouldnt be so quick to settle. Maybe people shouldnt be so intent on getting married for marriage-sake in the first place. IMO, there is no such thing as "sake of marriage".
Well, I dunno, maybe I am just weird. Hopefully, Ill snap out of it by age 27, just in time to get back on track: fall in love by 28, get married by 29, and have a kid, a dog, a house and a white fence by 30.
Married chick thinkssheknowsitall. I would love to befriend your husband, and listen to his complaints.
