What would you do if you were in my situation?

[lazybutt26]

So I am starting med school in July. It’s an hour and a half away from where I live. I am in a unique situation so it would be more helpful to share your opinion if you have a family yourself or are a mom.

My husband and I currently don’t pay any rent since we live right above my grandpas. It’s an amazing deal and has been, especially because we live in a highly cost living area. My husband makes a great amount of money himself for what he has built for his career and his work is 20 mins away from where we live. So there’s absolutely no way we’re moving and if you are going to suggest moving, please move along and don’t leave any comments. Now, we just had a baby and she’s going to be 6 months old by the time I start school. My husband suggested maybe I can go up to school and spend 3 days in the area(hotel or a studio, since it would be cheaper to move the entire family to somewhere closer to my school/and he doesn’t have to do the commute). I think it’s the most practical solution too since we won’t have to pay any rent, save money, don’t take out any living expenses loans, and I am the only one making sacrifice. The only downside is I won’t be able to see my daughter for 3 days... of the week. And it makes me so sad but I bet the days will go by so quickly while attending lectures and study. I think it will allow me to really focus on studying too while I am away) The other option is for us to move to a town that’s a little closer to my school(an hour each way) where my husbands work is also an hour each way. But we would of course now have to pay rent(+$2000 a month at least utilities not included). But I will be able to see my daughter every day but I honestly feel like that’s two hours each day that I could be studying. That’s lots of driving every day and it will wear me out quick. What would you do in this situation? Thanks for your input!!!

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[Hippocrates II]

Just my perspective as a parent in medical school... not seeing my kids for half of the week would be a non-starter for me. No chance. Med school is aready soul-sucking, but I would never let it deprive me of being with my family half of the time. I already feel bad about how little my children see me due to school and I live in the same home as them. Just my personal opinion on that.

As far as commuting, you should not be driving an hour to/from school unless your school happens to not make you come in much. I go to a non-mandatory lecture school and yet I'm somehow on campus like 3 days a week at least. I would die on the inside if I spent 2 hours a day commuting on those days. That will be 2 hours of your evening that you could be spending with your family that you will instead be spending slumped over lecture materials.

You will need to make some sacrifice somewhere - moving, seeing your kids, or driving. I think only you can decide which one would work best for you and your family. If I were me, I would move my whole family, but my family dynamic is different than yours.

 

[IntheClouds4ever]

Share a place with another student and spend the few nights a week up there. Rotations in 3rd and 4th year are much harder when you have to spend the entire up to two weeks away at a time when you have to work the weekend shift as well.

I rented a room from another med student and spent my weeknights there and came home for the weekends. No other way practical way around it, IMO. Driving three hours a day will be extremely tiresome and cut into study time/class performance. Wife went into labor when I was in class two hours away.. sped all the way home and walked in as they pulled our daughter out (c-section). You will make sacrifices you don’t want to but you will have to make a decision that works best for your situation

 

[lazybutt26]

Just my perspective as a parent in medical school... not seeing my kids for half of the week would be a non-starter for me. No chance. Med school is aready soul-sucking, but I would never let it deprive me of being with my family half of the time. I already feel bad about how little my children see me due to school and I live in the same home as them. Just my personal opinion on that.

As far as commuting, you should not be driving an hour to/from school unless your school happens to not make you come in much. I go to a non-mandatory lecture school and yet I'm somehow on campus like 3 days a week at least. I would die on the inside if I spent 2 hours a day commuting on those days. That will be 2 hours of your evening that you could be spending with your family that you will instead be spending slumped over lecture materials.

You will need to make some sacrifice somewhere - moving, seeing your kids, or driving. I think only you can decide which one would work best for you and your family. If I were me, I would move my whole family, but my family dynamic is different than yours.

Thanks for your input!

 

[lazybutt26]

Share a place with another student and spend the few nights a week up there. Rotations in 3rd and 4th year are much harder when you have to spend the entire up to two weeks away at a time when you have to work the weekend shift as well.

I rented a room from another med student and spent my weeknights there and came home for the weekends. No other way practical way around it, IMO. Driving three hours a day will be extremely tiresome and cut into study time/class performance. Wife went into labor when I was in class two hours away.. sped all the way home and walked in as they pulled our daughter out (c-section). You will make sacrifices you don’t want to but you will have to make a decision that works best for your situation

Thanks for your input. Sounds like your school was about two hours away. How young was your daughter if I can ask? I am really starting to think that me staying up in the area for a few nights is the most practical option for all of us because I am so worried about driving two hours each way to school, especially as a new driver and I feel like it will really tire me out and mess up my performance at school. Med schools not a walk in the park for sure and I feel like living in the school area a few nights a week will really help me focus on school. Plus, I don’t know where the third year rotation is going to be so we would have to move in two years again..

 

[popopopop]

Are classes even mandatory? This won't be your life for all 4 years. The way my school works, I needed to be on campus like once a week during second year. First year it was busier due to more quizzing, but it was usually 2-3 days a week max that I needed to be on campus. I'm a third year and I need to be on campus once every 1-2 months for our end of rotation tests.

 

[lazybutt26]

Are classes even mandatory? This won't be your life for all 4 years. The way my school works, I needed to be on campus like once a week during second year. First year it was busier due to more quizzing, but it was usually 2-3 days a week max that I needed to be on campus. I'm a third year and I need to be on campus once every 1-2 months for our end of rotation tests.

No the classes are not mandatory at all. But I spoke to some first year students and between mandatory anatomy class, OMT classes and group studies, I have to go to campus four days a week. Monday’s, Weds and Thursday’s are busy with quizzes, anatomy and lectures whereas Friday’s are half day with mandatory anatomy. I know I was like it’s not forever. And the second year I heard I have to be on campus less than 10 hours a week since there’s no anatomy and the lectures will be all recorded. Plus, Step 1 will be P/F by the time I take it so I can’t imagine being on the campus more if any. Spending few nights a week near campus would be really for the first year.

 

[popopopop]

I don't have any children, but renting a room with students seems to be the best idea since it's more stable than renting out of a hotel. I don't think you have to literally be there all three days either. Some weeks maybe you stay 2 nights, some maybe 3 nights if you have quizzes or exams. If during one day you only have OMT lab(2 hours usually), then it's feasible to just go home afterwards. If one day you have a test/practical, you can have the flexibility to stay the night before as most tests are early morning. You can also listen to things and passively study while driving. I'm from Texas and an hour commute isn't unheard of for some students since things are just really far apart here haha. I know you'll miss your baby either way, just offering some advice from a scheduling perspective.

 

[deleted1005514]

I’m In the rent a room group as well. I’m a parent, and my family is a huge distraction to my studying (hate to say it...I love them, but it’s true). If I could go somewhere a couple of night a week and really focus on classes/studying, I would do as much as I could, and then I’d do lighter studying on my days home, and be present with my family more.

 

[lazybutt26]

I don't have any children, but renting a room with students seems to be the best idea since it's more stable than renting out of a hotel. I don't think you have to literally be there all three days either. Some weeks maybe you stay 2 nights, some maybe 3 nights if you have quizzes or exams. If during one day you only have OMT lab(2 hours usually), then it's feasible to just go home afterwards. If one day you have a test/practical, you can have the flexibility to stay the night before as most tests are early morning. You can also listen to things and passively study while driving. I'm from Texas and an hour commute isn't unheard of for some students since things are just really far apart here haha. I know you'll miss your baby either way, just offering some advice from a scheduling perspective.

Thank you! I agree with you that if I decide to live close to campus, I would have to rent a house with other med students. I still have five months to decide, so hearing various options from others is definitely helpful

 

[Alkaidius]

Something you’re going to have to consider is your actual studying abilities. The learning curve for how to study varies between people when they start drinking from the hydrant. Some people’s styles from college are perfect for med school, others find that they need a complete and total overhaul that takes multiple blocks to transition into. You’ll need to be honest with yourself about that, because it often comes as a shock to people when they suddenly become bottom feeders and have to struggle to stay afloat. My suggestion would be to take a balanced approach, go for what you’re comfortable with right now, see where you’re at after the first (and absolutely the easiest) test, and be prepared to change plans if you feel that you need more study time.

 

[Goro]

So I am starting med school in July. It’s an hour and a half away from where I live. I am in a unique situation so it would be more helpful to share your opinion if you have a family yourself or are a mom.

My husband and I currently don’t pay any rent since we live right above my grandpas. It’s an amazing deal and has been, especially because we live in a highly cost living area. My husband makes a great amount of money himself for what he has built for his career and his work is 20 mins away from where we live. So there’s absolutely no way we’re moving and if you are going to suggest moving, please move along and don’t leave any comments. Now, we just had a baby and she’s going to be 6 months old by the time I start school. My husband suggested maybe I can go up to school and spend 3 days in the area(hotel or a studio, since it would be cheaper to move the entire family to somewhere closer to my school/and he doesn’t have to do the commute). I think it’s the most practical solution too since we won’t have to pay any rent, save money, don’t take out any living expenses loans, and I am the only one making sacrifice. The only downside is I won’t be able to see my daughter for 3 days... of the week. And it makes me so sad but I bet the days will go by so quickly while attending lectures and study. I think it will allow me to really focus on studying too while I am away) The other option is for us to move to a town that’s a little closer to my school(an hour each way) where my husbands work is also an hour each way. But we would of course now have to pay rent(+$2000 a month at least utilities not included). But I will be able to see my daughter every day but I honestly feel like that’s two hours each day that I could be studying. That’s lots of driving every day and it will wear me out quick. What would you do in this situation? Thanks for your input!!!

As a faculty member who has seen students in your situation, I can assure that you have to move closer to school. You simply will fail out by losing 3 hrs of study time in commuting.

As a parent myself, I am very emphatic to your situation. I recommend asking if your school would give you an LOA, so you can spend a year enjoying your baby.

Failing that, you move closer and commute home, but NOT on every weekend. I've seen people fail out doing that as well. Sharing a house or apt. with fellow students will at least cut down on your living expenses.

I hope that you can find a good solution.

 

[Sardonix]

So I am starting med school in July. It’s an hour and a half away from where I live. I am in a unique situation so it would be more helpful to share your opinion if you have a family yourself or are a mom.

My husband and I currently don’t pay any rent since we live right above my grandpas. It’s an amazing deal and has been, especially because we live in a highly cost living area. My husband makes a great amount of money himself for what he has built for his career and his work is 20 mins away from where we live. So there’s absolutely no way we’re moving and if you are going to suggest moving, please move along and don’t leave any comments. Now, we just had a baby and she’s going to be 6 months old by the time I start school. My husband suggested maybe I can go up to school and spend 3 days in the area(hotel or a studio, since it would be cheaper to move the entire family to somewhere closer to my school/and he doesn’t have to do the commute). I think it’s the most practical solution too since we won’t have to pay any rent, save money, don’t take out any living expenses loans, and I am the only one making sacrifice. The only downside is I won’t be able to see my daughter for 3 days... of the week. And it makes me so sad but I bet the days will go by so quickly while attending lectures and study. I think it will allow me to really focus on studying too while I am away) The other option is for us to move to a town that’s a little closer to my school(an hour each way) where my husbands work is also an hour each way. But we would of course now have to pay rent(+$2000 a month at least utilities not included). But I will be able to see my daughter every day but I honestly feel like that’s two hours each day that I could be studying. That’s lots of driving every day and it will wear me out quick. What would you do in this situation? Thanks for your input!!!

"We absolutely are not considering moving. The second option is moving."

Wut?

As others have said, you cannot attend medical school if you are spending 1-2 or even more hours a day commuting AND have a baby. That's a fantastic way to fail out. You have to be close to school no matter what.