Waking up without waking spouse?

[DermViser]

I thought you were my buddy, I didn't know you were a hater too

Not a hater. Am I inaccurate with that statement? If so, where?

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[Arkangeloid]

Not a hater. Am I inaccurate with that statement? If so, where?

No, I suppose you're right. But I'm a conservative guy at heart, so I don't see that as much of a problem.

I guess I divide up SDNers into "haters" and "buddies," vis-a-vis me. A lot of the haters make snide remarks about me, or "like" them, like southernIM or xffan. The buddies are people who offer me encouragement and kindness.

 

[DarknightX]

This thread has become ridiculous.

Listen, if your SO, whether male or female is so spoiled or that much of a drama queen that they can't handle being woken up for a few minutes while you go to work at 4:30 in the morning, then I feel sorry for you. No one on this message board or the internet can help you with the lifelong pain and suffering that you have committed to.

If my spouse or SO is getting up at 4:30 am, and they wake me up, then I feel sorry for them that they have to get up so early, and thank my lucky stars that I get another 2 or 3 hours of sleep. If it happens every morning, then I should feel lucky that I get a reminder every morning of how hard they work.

If that's being misogynistic, or feminist or whatever ridiculous label you all want to give it, then so be it.

 

[DermViser]

No, I suppose you're right. But I'm a conservative guy at heart, so I don't see that as much of a problem.

I guess I divide up SDNers into "haters" and "buddies," vis-a-vis me. A lot of the haters make snide remarks about me, or "like" them, like southernIM or xffan. The buddies are people who offer me encouragement and kindness.

Conservative guys don't go to strip clubs - unless you're a hypocrite.

I hardly think of southernIM as a hater. I think part of the problem is that you attribute motivations when in actuality it's bc it's not something you want to hear. So for example, someone says something you want to hear = friend, but if it's something you don't want to hear but need to hear then = mean person. If that's the case, then MS-3 and residency will be quite rough for you.

 

[Ismet]

Conservative guys don't go to strip clubs - unless you're a hypocrite.

I hardly think of southernIM as a hater. I think part of the problem is that you attribute motivations when in actuality it's bc it's not something you want to hear. So for example, someone says something you want to hear = friend, but if it's something you don't want to hear but need to hear then = mean person. If that's the case, then MS-3 and residency will be quite rough for you.

I can't wait to hear Ark's opinions on 3rd year.

 

[operaman]

No, I suppose you're right. But I'm a conservative guy at heart, so I don't see that as much of a problem.

I guess I divide up SDNers into "haters" and "buddies," vis-a-vis me. A lot of the haters make snide remarks about me, or "like" them, like southernIM or xffan. The buddies are people who offer me encouragement and kindness.

OR, you can view this as a learning experience where you realize that your current views on women and relationships may not be the ones you wish to carry with you going forward. Sometimes it's easy to surround yourself with like-minded people who share your point of view, but in reality many others will feel differently. Far better to find that out here than in real life where there are real consequences.

I liken it to the frequent posts by people who have "wrongly" been dismissed from their program or put on probably or what you. They always come with their sad story of woe and inevitably the group consensus is that they were NOT wronged and deserved what they got.

Just try to learn from this and maybe it will ultimately be good for your relationships going forward.

 

[Pacna]

Lol what

We both learned to sleep through worse things than the other person getting out of bed out of necessity!

 

[Arkangeloid]

Conservative guys don't go to strip clubs - unless you're a hypocrite.

I hardly think of southernIM as a hater. I think part of the problem is that you attribute motivations when in actuality it's bc it's not something you want to hear. So for example, someone says something you want to hear = friend, but if it's something you don't want to hear but need to hear then = mean person. If that's the case, then MS-3 and residency will be quite rough for you.

I don't see why being conservative-minded has to mean not going to strip clubs. I'm a conservative because I'm generally opposed to change, I believe in God and Country, I generally oppose state intervention in markets, I mean, I don't see how you can get any more conservative than that.

And yeah, I think you're right, I guess. It's just that southernIM comes off as harsh sometimes.

I can't wait to hear Ark's opinions on 3rd year.

Not sure if you're a hater (because you're wishing misfortune upon me) or a buddy (because being a MS-3 by definition means I beasted MS-2).

 

[xffan624]

No, I suppose you're right. But I'm a conservative guy at heart, so I don't see that as much of a problem.

I guess I divide up SDNers into "haters" and "buddies," vis-a-vis me. A lot of the haters make snide remarks about me, or "like" them, like southernIM or xffan. The buddies are people who offer me encouragement and kindness.

It's a easy way to dismiss someone's opinion by calling them a hater. To be clear, I don't hate you. I honestly still hope you're an elaborate troll. If you're not, then honestly I pity you because once you get out of the comfortable environment of academia, if you do not change your mentality, you will have a tough time and probably be even more miserable than in medical school. It's not even the latent misogyny, it's your utter lack of self-confidence and self-reflection that you replace with hollow words from tv shows and rap songs.

 

[DokterMom]

@Arkangeloid - You've said several times that you're desperate for and American girl to sleep with and you're interpreting the rejection you get in a variety of ways, all of which (that I've seen so far) are very wrong. So here's a 'Girls 101' for you --

American girls/women are not, for the most part, power-tripping, hating on brown guys, or even averse to studious nerdy guys. They'll even tolerate a fair bit of social awkwardness when it comes with honesty self-acceptance, and genuine good-heartedness. But American women decide to sleep with a guy for two main (and very simple) reasons:

1. They want to have a meaningful relationship with him, or
2. They want to have a fun night (or several) of less-meaningful fun between the sheets.

So here's where you're going wrong:

1. Your parents are going to find you a wife, so you aren't willing to/can't offer a meaningful relationship -- strike one.
   
2. You are from a socially conservative culture that frowns on sexual experimentation pre-marriage, which means:
   1. You are likely to be sexually inexperienced, so a poor candidate on the 'just for fun' front -- strike two
   2. Said 'socially conservative culture that frowns on sexual experimentation pre-marriage' tends to label American girls who are sex-positive as sluts, which is a major turn-off -- strike three
3. You've mentioned that you are socially awkward to some degree, but you're spouting misogyny left and right (strike four) and a fake 'hood persona' (strike five), which rules out the 'honesty, self-acceptance and genuine good-heartedness' exception to the nerd rule.

Do you want to succeed with American women?

1. First, change your definition of 'success' to include genuine friendship that's open and honest.
2. When discussing your future arranged bride, value her character and personality and aspects other than her presumed physical beauty.
3. Be yourself, whatever the real you is.
   
4. Don't exclude as 'undateable' any woman who's a few pounds overweight. That's shallow, offensive and short-sighted.
5. Look for the good in American women. There's lots of it! Express a little appreciation.

 

[SouthernSurgeon]

No, I suppose you're right. But I'm a conservative guy at heart, so I don't see that as much of a problem.

I guess I divide up SDNers into "haters" and "buddies," vis-a-vis me. A lot of the haters make snide remarks about me, or "like" them, like southernIM or xffan. The buddies are people who offer me encouragement and kindness.

I think that you have very serious communication issues and a maladaptive perception of women. I also think that these problems have the potential to (and likely already do) cause you serious troubles in your personal and especially professional life.

I've pointed out examples of these issues and often provided suggestions on how to change at least the behavior, if not the underlying attitude.

If that makes me a hater, so be it.


Posted using SDN Mobile

 

[Ismet]

Not sure if you're a hater (because you're wishing misfortune upon me) or a buddy (because being a MS-3 by definition means I beasted MS-2).

If you continue with this hater/buddy nonsense, every attending you encounter in MS3 is going to be a hater by your definition.

I'm not wishing misfortune on you. I really genuinely hope that you keep improving academically and socially. I'm just interested to see your reaction to 3rd year.

 

[fancymylotus]

If you continue with this hater/buddy nonsense, every attending you encounter in MS3 is going to be a hater by your definition.

I'm not wishing misfortune on you. I really genuinely hope that you keep improving academically and socially. I'm just interested to see your reaction to 3rd year.

Dear third year of medical school-

DIE. You suck. Just..ugh.

Love + kisses,

FML.

 

[DermViser]

I don't see why being conservative-minded has to mean not going to strip clubs. I'm a conservative because I'm generally opposed to change, I believe in God and Country, I generally oppose state intervention in markets, I mean, I don't see how you can get any more conservative than that.

And yeah, I think you're right, I guess. It's just that southernIM comes off as harsh sometimes.



Not sure if you're a hater (because you're wishing misfortune upon me) or a buddy (because being a MS-3 by definition means I beasted MS-2).

Your view of women and how they are is also very conservative. Southern IM has hardly been harsh. He's been more than patient and given good advice.

Ismet is not "wishing misfortune" on you - she's saying that if you have this world view now, MS-3 will not go well for you when your interactions with people (i.e. females on OB-Gyn who are already characters to begin with) count for a big portion of your grade. Just being able to beast a shelf exam isn't enough.

 

[DermViser]

If you continue with this hater/buddy nonsense, every attending you encounter in MS3 is going to be a hater by your definition.

I'm not wishing misfortune on you. I really genuinely hope that you keep improving academically and socially. I'm just interested to see your reaction to 3rd year.

He plans on beasting the shelf exam, so I guess he thinks he'll be A-OK. He at one time thought the purpose of a required clerkship was to prepare you for a shelf exam.

 

[Geekchick921]

"Why would a thread about waking a spouse up have 140 posts?"

I love that gif so much. I haven't had a good reason to use it in forever.

@DermViser , it's from something called Italian Spiderman.

 

[DermViser]

I love that gif so much. I haven't had a good reason to use it in forever.

@DermViser , it's from something called Italian Spiderman.

I think I might like that movie than the real Spiderman movies.

 

[altitudinarian]

I can't with you anymore. What the f is this logic?!

Most of what Ark says is founded in the subreddit The Red Pill, where they believe women's only good attributes are their youth, looks, and ability to procreate. Thus, women's values depreciate as they get older, which is why you see many 30+ year old women looking to get married because they spent all that time when they were younger screwing men that were "alpha" not "beta" (like Ark puts himself to be); yet the "betas" are the ones whom they marry, because they're the good men with the money. This does not necessarily mean it'll end up in a happy marriage.

Usually, it fails (as per logic of the Red Pill), because the man wasn't "man" enough to keep his woman in line, or keep frame of being an alpha so to keep their women interested. Hence, the comments of keeping up game and appearing/acting like a "bro."

 

[DokterMom]

Most of what Ark says is founded in the subreddit The Red Pill, where they believe women's only good attributes are their youth, looks, and ability to procreate. Thus, women's values depreciate as they get older, which is why you see many 30+ year old women looking to get married because they spent all that time when they were younger screwing men that were "alpha" not "beta" (like Ark puts himself to be); yet the "betas" are the ones whom they marry, because they're the good men with the money. This does not necessarily mean it'll end up in a happy marriage.

Usually, it fails (as per logic of the Red Pill), because the man wasn't "man" enough to keep his woman in line, or keep frame of being an alpha so to keep their women interested. Hence, the comments of keeping up game and appearing/acting like a "bro."

That explains everything... Some better reading material is most definitely in order. Impressionable minds and all..

 

[PL198]

That explains everything... Some better reading material is most definitely in order. Impressionable minds and all..

lol are you serious? biologically that makes 100x more sense than the crap the PC spews for the impressionable minds. I disagree with a TON of the stuff TRP says, however it's certainly way closer to the actual dynamic of healthy relationships than the crap the media and academia teach students...

100% not advocating it for the end all be all, and would advise anyone reading the stuff there to take all of it with a grain of salt, however it's HILARIOUS when I hear stuff about impressionable minds, because that is the exact thing that the exact opposite group focuses on. I advocate for actual science and not just BS rehashed by some old dude talking about how things should be( how 99 % of the PC movement works), and there is way more science behind TRP stuff than the contrasting views..

 

[operaman]

lol are you serious? biologically that makes 100x more sense than the crap the PC spews for the impressionable minds. I disagree with a TON of the stuff TRP says, however it's certainly way closer to the actual dynamic of healthy relationships than the crap the media and academia teach students...

100% not advocating it for the end all be all, and would advise anyone reading the stuff there to take all of it with a grain of salt, however it's HILARIOUS when I hear stuff about impressionable minds, because that is the exact thing that the exact opposite group focuses on. I advocate for actual science and not just BS rehashed by some old dude talking about how things should be( how 99 % of the PC movement works), and there is way more science behind TRP stuff than the contrasting views..

Oh my. So I just looked at TRP thing and wow if that isn't a rehash of the pickup artist stuff from the 80s and 90s! I guess the benefit of age is that you get to see these things come in cycles.

Pop quiz: how many of the old pickup artist gurus (aka TRP v1.0) who are now in their 40s-50s are currently married? Zero. Nada. Zip. Seems like if this stuff worked that maybe at least ONE of the best practitioners of it would have been successful...

So if their methods never let them find lasting love, what did they find? Answer: money. Lots of it. Apparently there is a huge market of desperate guys willing to pay actual money for the "secrets" of meeting and being successful with women! Looked at objectively, TRP is less about seducing women and more about seducing young men into affiliate marketing/newsletters/etc where they can be effectively monetized. They use the same guru/cult tactics that have worked for decades in other markets, but the end goal is not helping guys meet women, it's about helping them meet your money.

 

[PL198]

Oh my. So I just looked at TRP thing and wow if that isn't a rehash of the pickup artist stuff from the 80s and 90s! I guess the benefit of age is that you get to see these things come in cycles.

Pop quiz: how many of the old pickup artist gurus (aka TRP v1.0) who are now in their 40s-50s are currently married? Zero. Nada. Zip. Seems like if this stuff worked that maybe at least ONE of the best practitioners of it would have been successful...

So if their methods never let them find lasting love, what did they find? Answer: money. Lots of it. Apparently there is a huge market of desperate guys willing to pay actual money for the "secrets" of meeting and being successful with women! Looked at objectively, TRP is less about seducing women and more about seducing young men into affiliate marketing/newsletters/etc where they can be effectively monetized. They use the same guru/cult tactics that have worked for decades in other markets, but the end goal is not helping guys meet women, it's about helping them meet your money.

You're missing the overall picture and picking on the "bad apples" of the bunch. The focus isn't women, it's overall self improvement(look at the matrix, it's trying to mimic that). It's just that the average random is most concerned about the women aspect. Seriously, any guy would do themselves a service by poking around a little there. If you're fine on the relationship front, then just ignore all of that stuff, and check out a few of the posts about other stuff. That's what I do and there's a lot of decent content on there.

 

[DokterMom]

lol are you serious? biologically that makes 100x more sense than the crap the PC spews for the impressionable minds. I disagree with a TON of the stuff TRP says, however it's certainly way closer to the actual dynamic of healthy relationships than the crap the media and academia teach students...

100% not advocating it for the end all be all, and would advise anyone reading the stuff there to take all of it with a grain of salt, however it's HILARIOUS when I hear stuff about impressionable minds, because that is the exact thing that the exact opposite group focuses on. I advocate for actual science and not just BS rehashed by some old dude talking about how things should be( how 99 % of the PC movement works), and there is way more science behind TRP stuff than the contrasting views..

Clearly you're not married.

Look, I'm neither PC nor naive enough to think there's nothing of truth in there. Clearly, younger women are, as a rule, more sexually attractive than older women. But successful relationships/marriages are built on far more than pure sexual attractiveness (though that's certainly an element of most), and those most important elements do not depreciate.

But mostly, the worldview that defines 'success' for a man as money, power, and the number of notches on his bedpost is deeply troubling and offensive. Furthermore, it's short-sighted. Sure, it's fun in your 20's, but that type of life ends up being lonely and empty, filled only with temporary distractions. Success is so much more than that --

@operaman has got it right -- It's really just another sales pitch aimed to take your money. (And a rather sad one at that.)

 

[PL198]

Clearly you're not married.

Look, I'm neither PC nor naive enough to think there's nothing of truth in there. Clearly, younger women are, as a rule, more sexually attractive than older women. But successful relationships/marriages are built on far more than pure sexual attractiveness (though that's certainly an element of most), and those most important elements do not depreciate.

But mostly, the worldview that defines 'success' for a man as money, power, and the number of notches on his bedpost is deeply troubling and offensive. Furthermore, it's short-sighted. Sure, it's fun in your 20's, but that type of life ends up being lonely and empty, filled only with temporary distractions. Success is so much more than that --

@operaman has got it right -- It's really just another sales pitch aimed to take your money. (And a rather sad one at that.)

have you even looked at the website? that's not what it is about at all. Like I can make false constructs to attack too, but that doesn't accomplish anything. Also yes successful relationships/marriages are built on far more than sexual attractiveness, I agree with you, however the initiator for them is sexual(not actually saying sex itself, just a perception of such) 99/100. There's tons of other stuff on there about drugs, financial thoughts, cultures, traveling, etc etc etc. I understand there is a lot of "noise" but seriously if you look hard enough, there's some good stuff that has nothing to do with male/female relationships.

 

[fancymylotus]

Lol, I had no idea what a reddit or a subreddit was until this thread. Or..chan something. Man, theres so much on the internets I know nothing about

 

[operaman]

You're missing the overall picture and picking on the "bad apples" of the bunch. The focus isn't women, it's overall self improvement(look at the matrix, it's trying to mimic that). It's just that the average random is most concerned about the women aspect. Seriously, any guy would do themselves a service by poking around a little there. If you're fine on the relationship front, then just ignore all of that stuff, and check out a few of the posts about other stuff. That's what I do and there's a lot of decent content on there.

Not really. If anything, it's creating its own matrix, one in which the problems of men can be attributed to being 'too beta' or not 'maintaining your frame' or whatever the lingo de jour happens to be. My read is it's less about self improvement and more about how to outplay and out-manipulate insecure, manipulative young women. Sure, there are kernels of truth and it probably is the most effective way to manipulate that kind of person, but I would ask: why would you want to? What are you getting out of it?

The danger for you as a future MD is that you may find yourself attracted to other highly intelligent, interesting, accomplished, and totally self-sufficient women MDs and they are going to see right through whatever color pill you've swallowed. In fact, any successful, accomplished woman will, regardless of her profession. Personally, these were the women I was always interested in: not the party girl doing the walk-of-shame, stilettos in hand at 6am, but the beautiful young professional girl jogging past her getting in a run before going off to her high powered job.

How do you get this kind of girl? Simple yet not-so-simple: be someone worth getting. Be physically fit, be intelligent, be well read, have a wonderful group of friends, be going places professionally, be kind, be outgoing, be someone people like, be genuinely interested in others, etc. Where TRP goes awry is that it focuses a lot more on acting like you've already achieved this when you haven't really earned it yet. The result is overcompensation that's laughably - painfully - obvious. A truly successful, attractive guy doesn't have to be a jerk or 'alpha' or 'maintain his frame' because he has nothing to prove. He can be a kind and loving partner to a kind and loving woman because he's been selective in who he dates and would only marry someone of the highest quality and character. He can look for ways to keep from waking her up at 4am because he loves her and because she would do the same for him if things were reversed. He can simply be himself because that alone is more than enough.

It really is that simple. It's also that hard. There are no shortcuts and no pills for becoming a good - or even a great - man.

 

[Arkangeloid]

Not really. If anything, it's creating its own matrix, one in which the problems of men can be attributed to being 'too beta' or not 'maintaining your frame' or whatever the lingo de jour happens to be. My read is it's less about self improvement and more about how to outplay and out-manipulate insecure, manipulative young women. Sure, there are kernels of truth and it probably is the most effective way to manipulate that kind of person, but I would ask: why would you want to? What are you getting out of it?

The danger for you as a future MD is that you may find yourself attracted to other highly intelligent, interesting, accomplished, and totally self-sufficient women MDs and they are going to see right through whatever color pill you've swallowed. In fact, any successful, accomplished woman will, regardless of her profession. Personally, these were the women I was always interested in: not the party girl doing the walk-of-shame, stilettos in hand at 6am, but the beautiful young professional girl jogging past her getting in a run before going off to her high powered job.

How do you get this kind of girl? Simple yet not-so-simple: be someone worth getting. Be physically fit, be intelligent, be well read, have a wonderful group of friends, be going places professionally, be kind, be outgoing, be someone people like, be genuinely interested in others, etc. Where TRP goes awry is that it focuses a lot more on acting like you've already achieved this when you haven't really earned it yet. The result is overcompensation that's laughably - painfully - obvious. A truly successful, attractive guy doesn't have to be a jerk or 'alpha' or 'maintain his frame' because he has nothing to prove. He can be a kind and loving partner to a kind and loving woman because he's been selective in who he dates and would only marry someone of the highest quality and character. He can look for ways to keep from waking her up at 4am because he loves her and because she would do the same for him if things were reversed. He can simply be himself because that alone is more than enough.

It really is that simple. It's also that hard. There are no shortcuts and no pills for becoming a good - or even a great - man.

Now hold on a second. I've been telling people that I intend to become fit, intelligent, well read, going places professionally, etc, and you guys just make fun of me. What gives?

That said, I've been slacking on my gym routine during Pulm, but I intend to rectify that shortly. Remember my original motto.

First you go ham on the books. Then the bench. Then the bishes.

 

[altitudinarian]

Not really. If anything, it's creating its own matrix, one in which the problems of men can be attributed to being 'too beta' or not 'maintaining your frame' or whatever the lingo de jour happens to be. My read is it's less about self improvement and more about how to outplay and out-manipulate insecure, manipulative young women. Sure, there are kernels of truth and it probably is the most effective way to manipulate that kind of person, but I would ask: why would you want to? What are you getting out of it?

The danger for you as a future MD is that you may find yourself attracted to other highly intelligent, interesting, accomplished, and totally self-sufficient women MDs and they are going to see right through whatever color pill you've swallowed. In fact, any successful, accomplished woman will, regardless of her profession. Personally, these were the women I was always interested in: not the party girl doing the walk-of-shame, stilettos in hand at 6am, but the beautiful young professional girl jogging past her getting in a run before going off to her high powered job.

How do you get this kind of girl? Simple yet not-so-simple: be someone worth getting. Be physically fit, be intelligent, be well read, have a wonderful group of friends, be going places professionally, be kind, be outgoing, be someone people like, be genuinely interested in others, etc. Where TRP goes awry is that it focuses a lot more on acting like you've already achieved this when you haven't really earned it yet. The result is overcompensation that's laughably - painfully - obvious. A truly successful, attractive guy doesn't have to be a jerk or 'alpha' or 'maintain his frame' because he has nothing to prove. He can be a kind and loving partner to a kind and loving woman because he's been selective in who he dates and would only marry someone of the highest quality and character. He can look for ways to keep from waking her up at 4am because he loves her and because she would do the same for him if things were reversed. He can simply be himself because that alone is more than enough.

It really is that simple. It's also that hard. There are no shortcuts and no pills for becoming a good - or even a great - man.

Also to add to what @operaman says, a lot of what The Red Pill and men who believe in this philosophy are looking for (at least what thought was going on) is a self-giving love. A lot of the men there remind me of men in real life who, after having a string of not so great relationships, being chosen over for the bro or jerk, and being "friendzoned" just thought women (like men on Red Pill think) are incapable of loving unconditionally men, only their children, and that only men are capable of this sacrificial love. Thus, they must put on "frame", be "alpha" to have some semblance of a healthy relationship, because they don't believe that the woman in the relationship will want to listen to them, care for their woes; no, women are too selfish.

Hearing this and reading it screams to me the want to be understood and loved as a human being, as someone who matters to someone. But as you say @operaman, it's quite the road to achieve the ideal; hence no shortcuts can reach that.

 

[Arkangeloid]

Lol, I stopped believing in unconditional love the day my parents shouted at me for hours after a bad physics grade (at one point threatening disinheritance). There's no such thing. Everybody wants something, everybody expects something. Nothing in life is unconditional or free.

 

[BobbyB]

My wife is a very light sleeper. I could sleep through WWIII. She's getting tired of waking up with me at 0430. This could be a problem in the long run (If mamma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy). Thoughts on how to wake up reliably without waking her?

Thinking about trying vibrating watch of some variety. Any recommendations? Thanks in advance.

this is a hilarious thread

OP's wife could be a great communicator who has tried to fix the problem herself, but we don't get to see her side of the story. all we get to see is OP's side which is cringeworthy.

you can just see the beta oozing out of his post.

 

[DermViser]

Lol, I stopped believing in unconditional love the day my parents shouted at me for hours after a bad physics grade (at one point threatening disinheritance). There's no such thing. Everybody wants something, everybody expects something. Nothing in life is unconditional or free.

There are families that aren't like your family, Asian or otherwise. Hard to believe, I know.

 

[fancymylotus]

Lol, I stopped believing in unconditional love the day my parents shouted at me for hours after a bad physics grade (at one point threatening disinheritance). There's no such thing. Everybody wants something, everybody expects something. Nothing in life is unconditional or free.

Really? Coz my parents yelled at me plenty. But they also gave me a better life than I could have ever hoped for with the few stipulations being that I worked hard, made something significant out of myself, and respected them.

Fairly certain that your parents like mine moved here for a better life for you, and for more opportunities for your future.
My parents, the same ones who yelled and screamed a lot when I was younger, also stood behind me when my engagement fell apart 3 days before my wedding to your cookie cutter perfect on paper Indian doctor boy with doctor parents. And no matter what gossipy auntie or uncle in their social circles said to them about that, or me, they always supported my decision, and me.

 

[DermViser]

lol are you serious? biologically that makes 100x more sense than the crap the PC spews for the impressionable minds. I disagree with a TON of the stuff TRP says, however it's certainly way closer to the actual dynamic of healthy relationships than the crap the media and academia teach students...

100% not advocating it for the end all be all, and would advise anyone reading the stuff there to take all of it with a grain of salt, however it's HILARIOUS when I hear stuff about impressionable minds, because that is the exact thing that the exact opposite group focuses on. I advocate for actual science and not just BS rehashed by some old dude talking about how things should be( how 99 % of the PC movement works), and there is way more science behind TRP stuff than the contrasting views..

Yeah, I'm sure your attitude towards relationships (as demonstrated by your posts here) will work swimmingly for you.

 

[DarknightX]

Really? Coz my parents yelled at me plenty. But they also gave me a better life than I could have ever hoped for with the few stipulations being that I worked hard, made something significant out of myself, and respected them.

Fairly certain that your parents like mine moved here for a better life for you, and for more opportunities for your future.
My parents, the same ones who yelled and screamed a lot when I was younger, also stood behind me when my engagement fell apart 3 days before my wedding to your cookie cutter perfect on paper Indian doctor boy with doctor parents. And no matter what gossipy auntie or uncle in their social circles said to them about that, or me, they always supported my decision, and me.

Did it fall apart because you couldn't stand it when he woke up early to go to work?

 

[DermViser]

Did it fall apart because you couldn't stand it when he woke up early to go to work?

Probably bc he was a bossy control freak who thought he called the shots in the relationship bc he's a doctor.

 

[DarknightX]

Lol, I stopped believing in unconditional love the day my parents shouted at me for hours after a bad physics grade (at one point threatening disinheritance). There's no such thing. Everybody wants something, everybody expects something. Nothing in life is unconditional or free.

Man, my momma whooped my a$$ anytime I came home with a B until I got to college. Even in college she would still try to pry (although I was smart enough not to let her know details)

Ha, inheritance? I'm going to be paying her bills when I'm done with residency.

Some of you kids crack me up (not you specifically)....they talk about all the pressure their parents put on them and how they hate it, but they have no problem taking money, car, etc from mom and dad.

If you don't like mom and dad's rules, then you're more than welcome to man up and go face the world on your own.

 

[DarknightX]

Probably bc he was a bossy control freak who thought he called the shots in the relationship bc he's a doctor.

I was being facetious.

And in my relationships, we all know who wears the pants.

 

[fancymylotus]

Did it fall apart because you couldn't stand it when he woke up early to go to work?

Duh. God I hate waking up before 10am.

 

[DermViser]

I was being facetious.

And in my relationships, we all know who wears the pants.

I know you were. Some people like their marriages to be one in which they're the boss, other people see their marriage as a partnership.

 

[kraskadva]

I'm going to unwatch this debacle before I hit something I value, since none of the 'players' are around to stand in.
But first some parting words...

The proof is in the pudding folks.
Those of us in stable, generally-happy relationships are all saying one thing. (i.e. respect & communication are not only good, but critical)
Those of you who are not, seem to mostly be saying another. (i.e. ima playa', gonna go ham on those bishes, compromise? what compromise?)
So take a step back, breathe, and see who actually seems to have what we all here desire, namely a good relationship.
Then decide what advice you want to take ('be considerate' or 'be alpha').

And on that note, I'm out of here.

 

[DermViser]

Man, my momma whooped my a$$ anytime I came home with a B until I got to college. Even in college she would still try to pry (although I was smart enough not to let her know details)

Ha, inheritance? I'm going to be paying her bills when I'm done with residency.

Some of you kids crack me up (not you specifically)....they talk about all the pressure their parents put on them and how they hate it, but they have no problem taking money, car, etc from mom and dad.

If you don't like mom and dad's rules, then you're more than welcome to man up and go face the world on your own.

This I agree with you on. You can't complain about mom and dad when you're taking their hardearned money. Sorry.

 

[fancymylotus]

This I agree with you on. You can't complain about mom and dad when you're taking their hardearned money. Sorry.

Are you surprised though? Respect seems to be a foreign concept to Ark.

 

[DermViser]

Are you surprised though? Respect seems to be a foreign concept to Ark.

Nope, not surprised. If your parents are paying for your med school tuition with their own money, then they call the shots. Simple as that. They may get ticked and pissed at you, but it's a small price to pay with not having to take loans with interest. Don't like it? Sign up for a loan.

 

[Arkangeloid]

This I agree with you on. You can't complain about mom and dad when you're taking their hardearned money. Sorry.

I know.

But that doesn't make my life any easier.

Are you surprised though? Respect seems to be a foreign concept to Ark.

You've become just as grating as Anasto was, I swear.

 

[DermViser]

I know.

But that doesn't make my life any easier.

How easy did you want/expect it to be?

 

[Arkangeloid]

How easy did you want/expect it to be?

I was hoping to at least be comfortably passing my way through medical school, and not be in a do-or-die situation every 2 weeks.

 

[DermViser]

I was hoping to at least be comfortably passing my way through medical school, and not be in a do-or-die situation every 2 weeks.

Your do-or-die situation is your perception. Also likely you were aiming for top of the class. If that's the case you'll have to put in more hours, stop caring what other people are doing, and get off SDN, and make friends with other people.

 

[fancymylotus]

I know.

But that doesn't make my life any easier.



You've become just as grating as Anasto was, I swear.

1) seeing as how she is my friend, I'll take it

2) me? grating? SUP POT???? Meet kettle.

 

[Arkangeloid]

1) seeing as how she is my friend, I'll take it

2) me? grating? SUP POT???? Meet kettle.

And then you wonder why I don't listen to you and I think that you're trying to get me to leave SDN? The friend of my enemy is an enemy too, and Anasto is certainly an enemy.

 

[DermViser]

And then you wonder why I don't listen to you and I think that you're trying to get me to leave SDN? The friend of my enemy is an enemy too, and Anasto is certainly an enemy.

Why bc she tells you what she thinks without sugarcoating? Misogyny is not a good color on you.