The Veterinarian's Composure

[bclover]

What is taught or accepted regarding the veterinarian keeping his/her composure when spending time with a client who is emotionally distraught about their animal? It is human nature to be particularly moved when a fellow human is upset, but in many occupations showing emotion is very much frowned upon.

Obviously, a vet would need to be objective and informative to owner as well as being able to fully function, but is 'tearing up' considered strictly taboo? If so, how does one learn to extract oneself in these situations? Is it just time/experience, or are there "tricks" to be learned.

To date, my professional life has revolved around negotiating with client and my company management, and the only emotions seem to be anger, frustration and, hopefully, eventual joy. But, when volunteering at the local clinic, I find it difficult to not be moved in those situations where the owner is distraught. (For me, this usually occurs after euthanasia, not while diagnosis and treating the patient.)

Your thoughts...

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[chris03333]

Sometimes I tear up. I am human, its natural.

 

[pressmom]

One of the vets I worked for said, "The day I fail to be touched by the human-animal bond is the day I will retire from veterinary medicine." It's normal to be emotional, but not normal to be so emotional that you can't do your job. They teach you how to handle this in vet school, so don't worry about it too much!

 

[bakaduin]

Compassion is one of the best qualities in a veterinarian.

 

[QTkitty]

I agree that it's normal to be compassionate toward others and OK to tear up a bit, but I would want to make sure that the owners understand that I am tearing up out of compassion for their loss. I'm always afraid that I may make the owners feel guilty for putting their pet down and that my tears may be interpreted as pity for the animal whose owners aren't doing enough to save his/her life. Does that make sense...? It does in my head but is hard to translate into words...

 

[rexosaurus]

you make sense

 

[kat13271]

From my personal experience it is ok to show emotion and comfort clients. When we have clients that are about to euthanize a pet we take them to our "Family Room", put their pet on a nice comfy cushion, explain the process gently and then proceed. Afterwards we send them a card signed by everyone in the clinic that worked with the animal.

The clients always greatly appreciate this. One woman specifically mentioned that when our vet cried with her it made her feel much better. I think showing emotion is ok. Certainly you are correct that you must keep your composure to some degree, but you don't want to be cold and unfeeling. I think you also have to think about if the client will be comfortable with your presence. We usually give our clients some alone time afterwards as well, so they can have a chance to let everything out if they are worried about being emotional with everyone present. I don't think setting strict rules is appropriate, you just have to read the people and the situation. It's one of those things where you have to know how to deal with both humans and animals to be a really great vet.

 

[bclover]

Thanks for your thoughts. I, too, feel that showing compassion to the owners (as well as the patient, of course) is wonderful and essential - and being effected by it is one of the beautiful aspects of being a human - but I wasn't sure what the "profession" at large thinks of it.

And, yes, QTKitty, that does make sense re: being sure the owner knows your tears are for their loss.

Yes, at our clinic, we, too, do special things to help the owner(s) through this difficult time. I do love to read about what others do so that I can formulate what I want to do myself in a few years...

 

[lailanni]

Ditto with you kat13271, we do a similar thing at our clinic.

One thing we do for owners who seemed to have a great attchment for their animal is make a paw print. We take some sculpy, make a paw print, and run some ribbon through it so they can use it as an ornament or keepsake.

The vets I've spoken to have told me that it's important not to lose your composure when dealing with clients. Do what you need to do, leave the room, and then cry if you have to. If your doctor was crying when they gave your diagnosis, you'd be even more freaked out. That said, everyone will tear up a bit when an office favorite runs into troubles.

Compassion is quite possibly the most important part of being a vet. Compassionate, but emotionally stable : )

 

[julieDVM]

This will vary with some clients, but in my experience, the more clinical, and procedural I make euthanasia, the easier it is for clients. I've often found that if a client sees that I'm confident, and professional about the procedure, they seem more at ease with their decision. Seeing me upset about a having to kill my patient doesn't do them any good (and that is only my opinion) - many people i know aren't afraid to show emotion when in the clients presence. This is just what works for me.