Taking time off before medical school to have kids

[calculatorwatermelon]

I know that people take time off for a variety of reasons--but is taking 6-7 years off too many?

My fiancé is currently applying to medical school, and logistically it would be difficult for both of us to end up in the same city for all of med school and residency...so we have decided maybe the best option is to have kids in this time, and this way I could stay home with them until they went to school.

We have financial help from his family and he has a lot saved from working as a med tech for a few years, so that isn't an issue, but I am worried how it will look to medical schools for me to have completed a bachelors degree/research/volunteering that all point to medical school only to have nearly a decade before applying.

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[deleted480308]

Why nearly a decade? If you are competitive you can likely land within an hour or so of your fiance

 

[calculatorwatermelon]

Basically just so that he could be nearly through residency and we could avoid having both of us in med school and residency at the same time--while also having small children. Adding an hour to an hour and a half commute makes a tight residency schedule that much tighter, and I could be home with the kids until they are school age as opposed to paying for childcare/nanny. I likely wouldn't be more than 5 years out of undergrad before I'd apply, but then by the time I would matriculate I'd be 6 years out.

 

[nih15hopeful]

I can understand your desire to not be in medical school and residency at the same time with young children, as I am going through that currently with my husband, and it is not a walk in the park. However, it never will be. This is beside the point and not the question you asked. If 6 years is your plan, I think this should be no problem. You could perhaps also look into applying 2 years before when you hope to matriculate and ask for a deferral of one year after you are accepted by your school. Most schools will be happy to accommodate, as long as you cite reasons they deem appropriate. I have not heard of anyone doing this in order to care for their kids, but you could also pick up very light (i.e. part time or less) clinical research volunteer position or job for that one year and work from home while you take care of your kids and cite both "research" and "kids" as your rationale. This way you show the school you are not completely disconnected from the world of medicine and you get to be with your children. An idea worth some probing, at least, if your concern is how schools will view you.

 

[VenusinFurs]

I would say it would probably be a good idea to pick up some volunteering or research experience in the 1-2 years prior to applying (maybe when they go to preschool) to re-familiarize yourself with the medical setting?

 

[Marge3]

I did this, and it's worked out fine for me, so far! I'm matriculating in the Fall, and my kids are school-aged. This was the best choice for me and my family; just because it's not conventional, doesn't mean it's not right for you all!

 

[dragonfly99]

Nobody can tell you "what to do" in this situation. It is possible to have a kid(s) during med school and residency though it will likely hurt your chances at a competitive specialty if you are female. Part of this also depends on how much family help you have (i.e. your parents or in laws or a sibling nearby who can reliably help you). Some med schools like nontraditional (i.e. slightly older) applicants, and some do not. I don't know how the med schools in your area(s) feel. It is possible if you delay going to med school in the next couple of years, that you will never go to med school. Lots of things are possible. I don't think having a 5-6 year gap between college and med school is a deal breaker, if your application is otherwise strong, but I do think you'll need to do something (research or volunteer work) in the year or two before you apply, or the schools may not take you seriously. Good luck with whatever you decide to do. Also, if you do have kids make sure your spouse helps you with the kids. The 1000 lb elephant in the room that we are all ignoring whenever we have these types of discussions is why the husband in these types of situations is never the one putting off his career to take care of the kids (or taking the less competitive specialty, or the less desired job or residency position). This is not intended to be a personal criticism of the OP, as I've made similar compromises - it's more a critique of where we are as a society.