single as a surgery resident

[glade]

You keep intimating that residents "take advantage" of nurses, which is laughable at best. Even if you take the "resident/nurse" dynamic out of the equation and just say "male/female," I'm pretty sure every woman knows that some guys are just out there to hit it. And that also assumes the stereotype that the woman is always pure and sweet. So regardless of whether it was a resident or just some guy off the street, getting dumped after sleeping with someone doesn't constitute "getting taken advantage of." It constitutes "poor judgement on your part in whom you sleep with and/or giving it up too easily" in about 99% of cases.

That being said, there is a "resident/nurse" dynamic where the nurses are well-aware of the fact that residents are often young males, sometimes are nerds who didn't have a lot of female interaction due to studying, and have a high likelihood of making six-figure incomes. Throw in the fact that these nurses and nursing students are often in their early-20s since, unlike the female residents, they don't have to do extensive post-bacc training, and it's quite arguable that, if anyone is taking advantage of anyone, it's the nurses taking advantage of the residents. That's classic gold-digging 101.

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[Winged Scapula]

I actually agree with glade on something.

 

[glade]

Oh, stop it. You agree with me on most everything.

 

[NYRN]

I didn't say that all residents took advantage of nurses. That is ridiculous. Maybe it's a regional thing. In NYC the men who are living large are not doctors, they are finance guys. The true golddiggers know that.

 

[glade]

That's true, but it's much more difficult for nurses to meet successful businessmen versus physicians. And businessmen are a crapshoot. They may become wildly rich or they may just stall out as low-level guys. It's much more easy to predict what you're going to "get" with a physician. Trust me, nurses are not blind to these facts. If you talk to people, I think the consensus is that it is relatively easy for a resident to get with a nurse and there's a reason why.

Believe me, if the hospital were filled with Fortune 500 CEOs that were there on a regular basis, the nurses would go for them. There are a significant number of nurses who apparently went into nursing simply to get a better chance to "marry up." I mean, no offense, but I know so many nurses who, as soon as they can, marry and then immediately retire while their husband supports them. It's not one or two. The actual "nursing" is the means to an end. It's like the excuse to hang around the hospital.

 

[NYRN]

While I will agree that there are some RN's who are looking for a doctor husband, I think its pretty far fetched to say that most went into nursing for that reason. That's just like saying that men go into surgery just so they can get laid.

In NYC, these finance men are pretty easy to find. Go to happy hour anywhere in the financial district or midtown, and there they are. MD is impressive to 22 year old girls, but the women in mid-twenties and older know: The guy with the penthouse= wall street guy, the guy with the 1 bedroom rental= MD. Really, it just goes to show you how expensive the cost of living is here.

I also don't think nurses and doctors in a relationship is always a bad thing. I think we understand this lifestyle and can accept it more than outsiders do. As for me personally, I stand pretty well on my own two feet, and I would never rely 100% on a man. Besides, I would be bored to tears sitting home like a desperate housewife. If my future husband happens to be a doctor so be it, but if he turns out to be a teacher, a cop or an accountant, thats just as good to me.

 

[glade]

I said "a significant number," not "most." And guys do become physicians so we can get laid, it's one of the perks.

Oh, by the way, let's also drop this "nurses could get businessmen easily" thing. Nurses know that in the hospital, they're the only females a lot of physicians see. When you stack a 20-year-old nurse up against her competition in the hospital, it's easy for her to score. Outside of the hospital, even the hot nurses are like average women. Everyone knows this, including the nurses.

 

[NYRN]

I said "a significant number," not "most." And guys do become physicians so we can get laid, it's one of the perks.

Oh, by the way, let's also drop this "nurses could get businessmen easily" thing. Nurses know that in the hospital, they're the only females a lot of physicians see. When you stack a 20-year-old nurse up against her competition in the hospital, it's easy for her to score. Outside of the hospital, even the hot nurses are like average women. Everyone knows this, including the nurses.

If you came to NYC and saw what many of these nurses look like, you would not find many of them average by any means. NYC is known for attractive women, in or out of the hospital. When you are out at happy hour, the finance guy or whoever is going to talk to a girl he finds attractive. In my experience, its a + to be a nurse because not only is the helping people element attractive to them, but they know I have a job that pays well, and I'm not just some model/actress wannabe living off of daddy's money and looking for a rich hubby.

Any woman will tell you, its a total turn off when men throw their title around, brag about their finances or name drop to try to get a girl into bed. Any girl with half a brain and self respect will see right through it, and even if they would have liked you anyway, as soon as you do that, any chance of you being taken seriously or getting any goes right out the door. My male MD friends that have game never even tell the girl what they do unless the girl asks. Even if the girl never knows what they do, they still get laid.

 

[glade]

If you came to NYC and saw what many of these nurses look like, you would not find many of them average by any means.

By definition, no matter where nurses are, they won't be the most attractive women. It's not really necessary for me to debate that point, all the male physicians know that to be true.

Any woman will tell you, its a total turn off when men throw their title around, brag about their finances or name drop to try to get a girl into bed.

Oh, absolutely. And any man will tell you that, while it's low-class to brag or name-drop about it, you just have to wait for about two minutes before the woman will prompt you to tell her "so what you do?"

Trust me, there are a lot of nurses trying to marry physicians.

 

[NYRN]

By definition, no matter where nurses are, they won't be the most attractive women. It's not really necessary for me to debate that point, all the male physicians know that to be true.



Oh, absolutely. And any man will tell you that, while it's low-class to brag or name-drop about it, you just have to wait for about two minutes before the woman will prompt you to tell her "so what you do?"

Trust me, there are a lot of nurses trying to marry physicians.

True, if you are comparing models to nurses or any other group of people, that is understandable that they will not be as attractive.

Asking about jobs is a conversation starter. We also ask about his career because we want to make sure he is not looking for a woman to support his lazy ass. Female MD friends of mine have met plenty of men who put on the outside appearance that they are professionals, but then before long it comes out that he cannot hold a job and is looking for a sugar mama to take care of him. I actually know one right now that is supporting a loser of a guy.

If you are looking for the next thing for tonight only, the girls that are impressed by your title are perfect. Just make sure you bag it, because you will be needing antibiotics or antivirals for sure. If you are looking for a respectable woman, she is not going to be falling all over you because of your title.

 

[Rabbit Hole]

I actually agree with glade on something.

If I agree with WS does that mean I agree with glade by proxy?

 

[SLUser11]

In NYC, these finance men are pretty easy to find. Go to happy hour anywhere in the financial district or midtown, and there they are.

You don't have to go to New York to find these awesome guys. They exist everywhere. Who else wears an expensive suit to happy hour and finds excuses to bring up their money and career a hundred times.

The only thing that's hard to find is one of these guys that I don't want to punch in the face.


As for the rest of your comments, I will plead blissful ignorance on the practices of nurses and Wall Street dudes during New York happy hours. However, for my n=1 experience, girls of all sorts are attracted to the title of "doctor," nurses included. It implies power, prestige, and intelligence, despite the fact that these qualities may be seriously lacking in reality.

 

[JackADeli]

.... However, for my n=1 experience, girls of all sorts are attracted to the title of "doctor," nurses included. It implies power, prestige, and intelligence, despite the fact that these qualities may be seriously lacking in reality.

My experience has been that the common public in general equate the title of doctor (physician & often PhD) with prestige and financial stability and/or wealth. I suspect plenty associate intelligence and possibly power with it... but those are often secondary. They definately associate it with "educated".

The reality shows with physicians on them has seemed to shatter some stereotypes and leave just the prestige and stable income portion... with the title "tool" readily used. This has included the psycho oncologist trying out for the bachelor and the bachelor and other physicians on TV.

 

[NYRN]

You don't have to go to New York to find these awesome guys. They exist everywhere. Who else wears an expensive suit to happy hour and finds excuses to bring up their money and career a hundred times.

The only thing that's hard to find is one of these guys that I don't want to punch in the face.


As for the rest of your comments, I will plead blissful ignorance on the practices of nurses and Wall Street dudes during New York happy hours. However, for my n=1 experience, girls of all sorts are attracted to the title of "doctor," nurses included. It implies power, prestige, and intelligence, despite the fact that these qualities may be seriously lacking in reality.

I don't particularly care for this type of man either. You can spot them a mile away when you are out at a club or lounge, they always have bottle service, and usually they are not attractive at all. They get girls by inviting groups of them over to the table to drink for free all night. I'm sure they get one of the girls to go home with them at the rest of the night, especially the 21 year old ones who can't afford to pay for their own drinks. I guess if they want to drop a few grand every weekend to try to get a girl to come home with them, thats their business.

I do get annoyed when I see a male MD taken by some airhead bimbo. I'm wonder how this educated guy can stand to spend the rest of his life with a girl he can't have a conversation with? One friend of mine liked this girl for years, and she wouldn't give him the time of day until he was a graduating resident. Now all of a sudden she is in love with him, and they are now married. This girl is not a nurse, in fact I don't even think she ever went to college. She controls every move he makes, and he goes along with it.

I won't disagree that girls find the MD title attractive, but there is a big difference between a girl who is looking for a free ride through life via a rich husband, and a girl who is educated and holding her own, looking for a man who shares similiar qualities.

 

[NYRN]

You don't have to go to New York to find these awesome guys. They exist everywhere. Who else wears an expensive suit to happy hour and finds excuses to bring up their money and career a hundred times.

The only thing that's hard to find is one of these guys that I don't want to punch in the face.

QUOTE]

 

[SLUser11]

I won't disagree that girls find the MD title attractive, but there is a big difference between a girl who is looking for a free ride through life via a rich husband, and a girl who is educated and holding her own, looking for a man who shares similiar qualities.

Girls are often attracted to power and authority. Perhaps it is because they believe it mirrors their own qualities, but I doubt that only the educated and successful women are wanting MDs as husbands.

When I was in college, I TA'd chemistry for 2 years, which included teaching chemistry lab to the nursing and PT/OT students. It seems like a pretty nerdy job, but at the end of the day, it's a position of power, and several of my students vocalized a desire to engage in romantic relations....usually at the St. Louis version of the happy hour you've frequently described.

Of course, it didn't hurt that I had mastered Blue Steel with my protective goggles on.....

 

[glade]

As for the rest of your comments, I will plead blissful ignorance on the practices of nurses and Wall Street dudes during New York happy hours. However, for my n=1 experience, girls of all sorts are attracted to the title of "doctor," nurses included. It implies power, prestige, and intelligence, despite the fact that these qualities may be seriously lacking in reality.

The funny thing about her comments is that it was all a sham. We all know there are nurses who are looking to get married to doctors, and not just "one or two." But rather than acknowledge that, we go into this convoluted hypothetical discussion about how businessmen would be better to marry and nurses are really attractive and could score them. And at the end of it, NYRN makes sure to let everyone know that, of course, she's not talking for herself because those sorts of guys turn her off. And of course she adds that the one physician who is married to a bimbo (but not a nurse!), is totally controlled by her. Oh, the cautionary tale! We should all heed its warning!

Fact: There are a significant number of nurses who pursue physicians to marry.
Corollary 1: Nurses are fairly receptive, generally speaking, to resident advances as a result, knowing that residents will become attendings.

 

[DRshooter]

You gotta love the nosocomial booty call....

 

[JackADeli]

...the nosocomial booty call....

Just sounds wrong on so many levels!!!!

 

[NYRN]

The funny thing about her comments is that it was all a sham. We all know there are nurses who are looking to get married to doctors, and not just "one or two." But rather than acknowledge that, we go into this convoluted hypothetical discussion about how businessmen would be better to marry and nurses are really attractive and could score them. And at the end of it, NYRN makes sure to let everyone know that, of course, she's not talking for herself because those sorts of guys turn her off. And of course she adds that the one physician who is married to a bimbo (but not a nurse!), is totally controlled by her. Oh, the cautionary tale! We should all heed its warning!

Fact: There are a significant number of nurses who pursue physicians to marry.
Corollary 1: Nurses are fairly receptive, generally speaking, to resident advances as a result, knowing that residents will become attendings.

No, I'm not into that type of guy. I can spot a D bag a mile away, and I would rather be single than someone's arm candy while they are out banging anything that moves because they feel they are entitled to.

First of all, I never said that there aren't any nurses who aren't looking for doctors. YOU said in prior posts that nurses were working as nurses because it is an excuse to hang out at the hospital in order to land a doctor. That is ridiculous. You proceeded to call nurses golddiggers. I said, that at least around here, the girls who are golddiggers are not looking for doctors because they know there are plenty of single men who make a hell of a lot more money than the doctors do. In NYC a doctors salary is not going to land you an apartment on 5th ave and allow you to shop at Prada and Gucci every day, which is what this type of girl is looking for. I am only speaking about how it is locally, I cannot say the same for other parts of the country, but I would assume places like LA are similar.

Yes, there are nurses who are receptive to resident advances. Those nurses that can't see through the BS won't know any better and go along with it. These are usually the new nurses who haven't seen how these guys really are. Lucky for you, every year you will have a new crop of young nurses to prey on.

Yes, heed that cautionary tale, because it could be you. If you are so hell bent on using your title to land women, you are the perfect example of the type of person that happens to.

 

[glade]

YOU said in prior posts that nurses were working as nurses because it is an excuse to hang out at the hospital in order to land a doctor. That is ridiculous.

I know. And being ridiculous doesn't mean it's not true.

Lucky for you, every year you will have a new crop of young nurses to prey on.

Lol, to "prey" on. Oh, those innocent gold-diggers!

 

[NYRN]

I know. And being ridiculous doesn't mean it's not true.



Lol, to "prey" on. Oh, those innocent gold-diggers!

If you really believe that nurses go into nursing because they are looking for a doctor, you are delusional. What about the nurses who are already married who become nurses? I'm sure they are not looking to leave their husbands as soon as they find a doctor.

If the nurse really is a golddigger than its her fault if she gets passed around. If its a nurse who thinks she met a nice guy who happens to be a doctor and he is really a wolf in sheeps clothing, than it IS preying.

 

[sustentaculum]

I agree with waxedapathetic. I'm not judging the guy you are with right now, personally not someone i'd be attracted to, from what you say, but you're right people change over time and start wanting different things. And I actually have a similar story. When I was in college i was in a serious relationship for 2+ years. The guy was not bad, actually a premed as well, but even then we clearly had different values on alot of things. not to mention he was one of those conservative, insecure when-you-are-with-me-you-are-not-allowed-to-hang-out-with-other-guys types that i put up with and got complacent with, even though i ignored the underlying dissatisfaction. When he did not match into the schools i was considering, i started reconsidering our relationship, because i was not willing to go to a lower-ranked school to be with him. And unfortunately around that time i also developed a ginormous crush on one of my former instructors for one of my classes. He already had his phd and was bent on going to med school, and i thought he just had everything together, unlike my ex bf. We had chemistry from the beginning, and went out a few times platonically before i told my ex-bf i wanted to break up. what happened was that this other guy (who is also going to med school next year despite being 7 years older than me) was way to chicken to date me for fear of having his public image ruined from this whole affair since we had mutual friends. it was lonely for a while, i'll admit, but once you're used to being single it is great! And you never know who you'll meet in the medical community. I recently met the most remarkable person ever who is a general surgeon actually (14 years my senior and from a completely different country and of a completely different race than me)! We just meshed so well together, and what's even more amazing we are not even from the same medical school! Just hang in there, be patient, work on yourself (personality, magnetism, style, maturity, etc.), figure out what are the important things you look for in a guy (goals, values, personality, how he treats you, etc.) and you are bound to meet someone really really amazing. its true, if you are only 23 (i'm 23 and an ms1, so you are ahead of me professionally), you have so many opportunities, and there are so many opportunities and so many accomplished, intelligent mature men out there i almost wonder why you didn't just find someone already, you just have to be ready for them when they come. You were with this guy for 8 years. gosh, i grew up so much in the last 8 years, i feel like a different person almost. and the thing is going through a nasty termination of such a long relationship is such a good way to grow up even more. You learn so much about yourself and the other person as well in this process. And i do warn you, it will be a nasty breakup, esp b/c engagement is involved. I personally think its bad to break off an engagement, but sometimes you just got to evaluate situations holistically. Even if you married him, how long would the marriage last before you actually meet McDreamy during residency? And then, trust me, you would be regretting this decision.

 

[MattD]

Yes, there are nurses who are receptive to resident advances. Those nurses that can't see through the BS won't know any better and go along with it. These are usually the new nurses who haven't seen how these guys really are. Lucky for you, every year you will have a new crop of young nurses to prey on.

Wait wait wait, so if a resident hits on a nurse, it's automatically a creepy playa looking to hit it and quit it, preferably after transmitting his herpes to the nurse as a mark of ownership, before he moves on to the next nurse? It can't possibly be a guy just attempting to have a social life? Or a guy who doesn't have much free time outside of the hospital and is trying to develop relationships where he has the opportunity?

For someone trying so hard to claim that no nurse is a gold-digger, you sure are happy to claim that every resident is a poon-hound.

 

[glade]

It's a symbiotic relationship. But she's only willing to look at the resident side of things. A lot of the residents who do go for nurses are poon hounds. We all know people who basically go around checking out all the nurses, nursing assistants, nursing students, and so on, and then they work their way around until someone says yes. But to act like nurses are just these innocent women who wander around the hospital cluelessly is silly. The nurses know the game and they are more than willing to play because of the chance that they'll get to marry a doctor and retire. That's the way it is.

 

[Consigliere]

It's a symbiotic relationship. But she's only willing to look at the resident side of things. A lot of the residents who do go for nurses are poon hounds. We all know people who basically go around checking out all the nurses, nursing assistants, nursing students, and so on, and then they work their way around until someone says yes. But to act like nurses are just these innocent women who wander around the hospital cluelessly is silly. The nurses know the game and they are more than willing to play because of the chance that they'll get to marry a doctor and retire. That's the way it is.

Word.

 

[Chemdocx]

poon hounds.

poon... the driving force behind most life decisions I make both good and bad.....moth to a flame.....I guess one can't fight millions of years of evolution. On a related note, does anyone else fall victim to hospital hot syndrome? i.e. when an individual appears hot within the confines of a hospital but average when placed into a random line-up of citizens of similar demographic.

 

[PAgirl]

I think it's about time I gave you all an update. It's only fair after all the thoughtful advice and support from everyone.

I broke up with my fiance about 2 months ago now. And I think it's the best decision I ever made. I've never once doubted myself, which is how I know it was the right decision. I've definitely felt sad, but mostly because I can imagine how he must be feeling and how sad he must be. I've personally felt nothing except an exciting sense of freedom. It's so amazing to be able to do whatever I want, whenever I want. And to be free of all the things that used to stress me out about our relationship. It's like a huge burden has been lifted.

I moved out of the apartment we were sharing, and I got a place with one of my best friends, who happened to be looking for a place the same time I was. She's single, too, so I'm looking forward to an amazing fourth year with her. I am a little stressed about paying rent on two places until he finds another roommate so I can get off the lease, but I can deal with that for now. And he's still speaking to me and generally being pretty nice, so I'm hoping we can still be friends.

Now, can someone please tell me what all the single female residents are supposed to do in a hospital where the numbers of attractive single men is clearly not in our favor? We've all heard from the men. What do all you ladies do for kicks?

 

[PharmaTope]

By definition, no matter where nurses are, they won't be the most attractive women. It's not really necessary for me to debate that point, all the male physicians know that to be true.



Oh, absolutely. And any man will tell you that, while it's low-class to brag or name-drop about it, you just have to wait for about two minutes before the woman will prompt you to tell her "so what you do?"

Trust me, there are a lot of nurses trying to marry physicians.

100% accurate. you cannot say women are not looking for money. please, they ALL want to know what the guy does for a living. even her friends ask the girl.... ooooooh what does he do for a living.

 

[PharmaTope]

I think it's about time I gave you all an update. It's only fair after all the thoughtful advice and support from everyone.

I broke up with my fiance about 2 months ago now. And I think it's the best decision I ever made. I've never once doubted myself, which is how I know it was the right decision. I've definitely felt sad, but mostly because I can imagine how he must be feeling and how sad he must be. I've personally felt nothing except an exciting sense of freedom. It's so amazing to be able to do whatever I want, whenever I want. And to be free of all the things that used to stress me out about our relationship. It's like a huge burden has been lifted.

I moved out of the apartment we were sharing, and I got a place with one of my best friends, who happened to be looking for a place the same time I was. She's single, too, so I'm looking forward to an amazing fourth year with her. I am a little stressed about paying rent on two places until he finds another roommate so I can get off the lease, but I can deal with that for now. And he's still speaking to me and generally being pretty nice, so I'm hoping we can still be friends.

Now, can someone please tell me what all the single female residents are supposed to do in a hospital where the numbers of attractive single men is clearly not in our favor? We've all heard from the men. What do all you ladies do for kicks?

ill be 100% helpful here. everyone is gonna give advice, but nobody is going to address the big question..... are you hot?

guys want attractive women. the better looking, the better your chances are. that is my opinion.

 

[PAgirl]

ill be 100% helpful here. everyone is gonna give advice, but nobody is going to address the big question..... are you hot?

guys want attractive women. the better looking, the better your chances are. that is my opinion.

If I have to answer yes or no, then yes.

 

[klmnop]

If I have to answer yes or no, then yes.

ha, you don't have to answer yes or no, i was hoping for something more ambiguous...
but out of curiosity, where would you lie on a scale from kirstie alley to ashley greene?

 

[Moonglow]

I broke up with my fiance about 2 months ago now. It's like a huge burden has been lifted.

And he's still speaking to me and generally being pretty nice, so I'm hoping we can still be friends.

Now, can someone please tell me what all the single female residents are supposed to do in a hospital where the numbers of attractive single men is clearly not in our favor? We've all heard from the men. What do all you ladies do for kicks?

Breaking off your engagement is the best thing that you could have done, for you and your fiancee. During your MS4, please, don't be "that girl": all confused, lonely, and with your hormones driving you crazy - you need a clear head to focus on the work at hand.

 

[Winged Scapula]

Not sure if Moonglow is referring to this, but I agree...if your ex wasn't really on board with the breakup, do not try and be friends with him. At least not now. Maybe in a few years if you both have moved on and are with others.

My ex is doing this to me and its very confusing, heartbreaking and actually cruel (although I doubt that is his intention) to me. While he may not understand your distance, its honestly best for everyone involved.

 

[BlondeDocteur]

If you came to NYC and saw what many of these nurses look like, you would not find many of them average by any means. NYC is known for attractive women, in or out of the hospital.

I have never seen a doctor/nurse relationship in NYC (I rotated at Columbia, Cornell, SLR, Harlem and NYU) because pretty young American-born nursing grads take jobs at comfortable suburban hospitals. The only nurses I ever interacted with were 10 BMI points over normal with even heavier accents. I am therefore quite curious where NYRN works.

In fact I thought the whole doctor/nurse thing was an archaic urban legend... but then I went to Texas.

 

[DHT]

I agree with WS, being friends with an ex is complete crap unless you have a child with him.

You both need to go your separate ways once you get all your stuff out of his apartment. Staying friends will mean that your ex will always hope that your feelings will change and somehow you and him will get back together. Also, staying friends makes it MUCH more likely you will go back to him (temporarily) when your own love life isn't looking so good. In the end it slows progress down for both of you.

My advice: Move on. Be civil, not friends.

 

[Chemdocx]

get proximal and distal control of the relationship, tie it off, cut it clean, cauterize, throw on some activated thrombin in some kind of foam/goop/sheet and never look at it again.

 

[PharmaTope]

being friends is not an option.


i dont speak to any of my ex-gfs. they are out of my life for a reason so see ya later and lose my number.

thats how i approach things. if it isnt going well in your favor, end it asap. the longer you wait the worse it gets. its tough when you been in a relationship for so long. thats why i eliminate earlier on. however in long term you need to get out of the situation then make the break.

you will find someone else. well in guy's land we always find someone else. i dont know what it is like for women. to be honest a lot of guys have problems with women earning more than them so it may take a while to find the right guy. oh well that's life though.

hang in there, end it, move on.

let me break it down for you,

break it off, break lease, move into new apartment, submit job apps to all different places, accept new job, move, leave old memories behind.

standard protocol

 

[glade]

you will find someone else. well in guy's land we always find someone else.

That's the thing, though. For us guys, it's not a problem because ultimately women will sacrifice money for looks. A guy can be old, say in his forties, and still attract women if he makes enough money. For women, let's be frank, their main asset is their appearance. Sure, a woman can make a lot of money, but that's far less important to men. You wouldn't go out with a woman who was rich but looked hideous or was in her forties if you had any other options (i.e., younger women). So for women, time is essential whereas for men it's not really.

Put it another way: a guy can be a resident or an attending and keep picking up the nurses or nursing assistants who are in their early 20s. Sure, people may call him a skeeve or look down on him, but as long as he is willing to put up with the reputation he can do that. A woman can't. There's a female Medicine attending at our place who is in her mid-thirties and she's attractive for someone in that age group. But she can't get a date because she's competing against all the 25-year-old nurses. I mean, she could date any of the forty-year-old attendings she wanted, who all have the hots for her, but that's it.

 

[PharmaTope]

That's the thing, though. For us guys, it's not a problem because ultimately women will sacrifice money for looks. A guy can be old, say in his forties, and still attract women if he makes enough money. For women, let's be frank, their main asset is their appearance. Sure, a woman can make a lot of money, but that's far less important to men. You wouldn't go out with a woman who was rich but looked hideous or was in her forties if you had any other options (i.e., younger women). So for women, time is essential whereas for men it's not really.

Put it another way: a guy can be a resident or an attending and keep picking up the nurses or nursing assistants who are in their early 20s. Sure, people may call him a skeeve or look down on him, but as long as he is willing to put up with the reputation he can do that. A woman can't. There's a female Medicine attending at our place who is in her mid-thirties and she's attractive for someone in that age group. But she can't get a date because she's competing against all the 25-year-old nurses. I mean, she could date any of the forty-year-old attendings she wanted, who all have the hots for her, but that's it.

the truth hurts. it is interesting how when girls are in their 20's they all party, play around with guys, run shop, etc

then when they get older the grim reality of "i shouldnt have been like that" happens. too many single ladies out there. best looking girl from my high school is single now. i saw her and i would not hit it now.

i digress.

sorry

 

[glade]

Well, yes and no. I mean, to be fair, it is unfair to women. A lot of people who go into the medical field, male and female, are nerds (including me). Even the "players" are nerds, generally speaking. In my med school class, we had a group of about five girls who were the "popular girls." They were pretty and they partied, sure, but it was all relative. It's like when you talk about the hot women at the hospital. They're only hot at the hospital. You put them at a club on a weekend and they're the average women.

The difference is that for guys, as I said, they can compensate for being nerds and having lost all their "good years." We've all seen it. Guys make it through residency, get a six-figure income, suddenly hook up with (gold-digging) hot chick in her twenties. That's so common it's boring to talk about. For women, it's make it through residency, get a six-figure income, start getting cats. That's not fair, other than the fact that we all know it will happen.

Even in medical school, we had a lot of guys who had hot girlfriends who were banking on the fact that they had landed a "doctor." All they have to do -- and it's tough -- is put up with him getting through residency and you've hit the jackpot. For women, you can't do that. I mean, we had girls who were dating guys, but it's not like the guys were major catches.

 

[Dr.LeoSpaceman]

I have never seen a doctor/nurse relationship in NYC (I rotated at Columbia, Cornell, SLR, Harlem and NYU) because pretty young American-born nursing grads take jobs at comfortable suburban hospitals. The only nurses I ever interacted with were 10 BMI points over normal with even heavier accents. I am therefore quite curious where NYRN works.

In fact I thought the whole doctor/nurse thing was an archaic urban legend... but then I went to Texas.

I was going to say the exact same thing. NYC is an outlier for this conversation. The "eligible" female nurses don't work at the large academic centers in the city.

Furthermore, if there is even such thing as a "doctor card" when it comes to dating, it's completely ineffective because of demographics. I suspect the effectiveness of that gambit is usually tied to the fact that doctors are viewed as stable and fairly well-off financially. For those whom that is important, doctors aren't even the best option in NYC. Even as a med student, the reaction I got in NYC was much, much different than when I would come home to the Midwest.

 

[PharmaTope]

I was going to say the exact same thing. NYC is an outlier for this conversation. The "eligible" female nurses don't work at the large academic centers in the city.

Furthermore, if there is even such thing as a "doctor card" when it comes to dating, it's completely ineffective because of demographics. I suspect the effectiveness of that gambit is usually tied to the fact that doctors are viewed as stable and fairly well-off financially. For those whom that is important, doctors aren't even the best option in NYC. Even as a med student, the reaction I got in NYC was much, much different than when I would come home to the Midwest.

true but you also are a med student. people hear "student" and think whatever. im a medical student means nothing to people people just think student loans and you dont know what you are doing yet.

you gotta sell it baby. everything in this world is marketing. you dont introduce yourself as doctor to people, you let them figure it out on their own...

i.e.

walk by a few women or squeeze between them, say excuse me and touch their arm and smile (u just escalated touch and people are more open to this), sit down, grab a shot or whatever or a WATER. bartender or waiter asks would you like something to drink? you say "NO thanks, I have to operate in the morning"

BOOM, they hear it, instantly you are in a position to get action the next night (remember you just said you got TO OPERATE in the morning).

it is truly easy. you just need to know how to market yourself and how people respond.

 

[del taco]

true but you also are a med student. people hear "student" and think whatever. im a medical student means nothing to people people just think student loans and you dont know what you are doing yet.

you gotta sell it baby. everything in this world is marketing. you dont introduce yourself as doctor to people, you let them figure it out on their own...

i.e.

walk by a few women or squeeze between them, say excuse me and touch their arm and smile (u just escalated touch and people are more open to this), sit down, grab a shot or whatever or a WATER. bartender or waiter asks would you like something to drink? you say "NO thanks, I have to operate in the morning"

BOOM, they hear it, instantly you are in a position to get action the next night (remember you just said you got TO OPERATE in the morning).

it is truly easy. you just need to know how to market yourself and how people respond.

You either watch way too much tv or you go for women who are at the bottom of the barrel or have an IQ of about 10.

 

[glade]

Furthermore, if there is even such thing as a "doctor card" when it comes to dating, it's completely ineffective because of demographics. I suspect the effectiveness of that gambit is usually tied to the fact that doctors are viewed as stable and fairly well-off financially. For those whom that is important, doctors aren't even the best option in NYC. Even as a med student, the reaction I got in NYC was much, much different than when I would come home to the Midwest.

Yeah, the problem there is that in places like NYC, there's basically an oversaturation of medical students, residents, and physicians. Basically everyone knows at least one of those people or a nurse. Plus, NYC is semi-unique (yes, that's an oxymoron) because a lot of people want to live there and therefore physicians make less due to market pressures.

That being said, even in a place like NYC I'd easily bet that an enterprising resident could nail a bunch of nurses.

 

[PharmaTope]

You either watch way too much tv or you go for women who are at the bottom of the barrel or have an IQ of about 10.

lol

are you looking to marry someone or have a wild night? women with an IQ of 10? come on, in all seriousness deconstruct exactly what men and women place priority on.

first words out of EVERY woman's mouth when her gal pal says she just started dating a guy... "what does he do"

va jay jay is man's weakness. fortune is woman's weakness.

 

[PharmaTope]

Yeah, the problem there is that in places like NYC, there's basically an oversaturation of medical students, residents, and physicians. Basically everyone knows at least one of those people or a nurse. Plus, NYC is semi-unique (yes, that's an oxymoron) because a lot of people want to live there and therefore physicians make less due to market pressures.

That being said, even in a place like NYC I'd easily bet that an enterprising resident could nail a bunch of nurses.

if you are in a hospital and cant get taht, then there is a MAJOR problem.

i gotta agree with you. the stories from all the hospitals i have been at.

interventional cardiologist was getting some action right before procedures when i was there. wife and kids were at home. happens all the time...

 

[del taco]

lol

are you looking to marry someone or have a wild night? women with an IQ of 10? come on, in all seriousness deconstruct exactly what men and women place priority on.

If you're looking to have wild night why would you care about what the guy does for a living? You'd look more at superficial things like looks and sexual skills if you can even figure that out by looking at someone. And the one night stand works both ways. Women hook up with "meathead" men just as men hook up with "skanks".

I guess physicians do have their top choice of nurses they want but I wouldn't exactly go bragging about that...........................

 

[Ronin2258]

My hospital was so small, if one of the residents was slutting around with the nurses, *everyone* would know. Hell, as quiet as they were, everyone knew one of my fellow interns was dating (respectfully) one of our chiefs. In fact they are still dating. I tease him that he is going to be outranked at work and at home.

As for me? I was OK being single. Most of the women I seem to attract would have gone nuts with the hours that we keep. Of course, I tend to attract the bunny boilers, so being single was a good thing.

 

[glade]

My hospital was so small, if one of the residents was slutting around with the nurses, *everyone* would know.

That's the thing. If you're going to nail nurses, you need to be the kind of person who doesn't care what people think. Let's be honest, a lot of guys wouldn't do that because if you break up all it's going to be is nurses smirking at you all day and so on. And a lot of nurses are essentially just a little more than high school educated, so they behave that way. But if you're the kind of person who nails nurses, and I've met them, their response is just to start nailing a different nurse on a different floor. And then, paradoxically, that makes OTHER nurses gravitate to the guy for being so confident or suave. But you need that kind of attitude and personality (and I don't and this isn't about me). It's no different than in "outside" life where guys who are major douchebags and players are getting all the women even though the women all know they're getting cheated on. For some reason, that makes the guy MORE desireable to them.

I tease him that he is going to be outranked
at work and at home.

It doesn't matter if you're a med student and your girlfriend is an attending. You still outrank her at home. BOO YAH.