Sad...

[Emily8282]

Married for 10 years...
He has 2 years away from finishing residency...
He wants seperation...
and found out that his mother advised him to divorce me so he doesn't pay me a half of his paycheck...
I am shocked... I feel like I've been used... I had to give up my dream for his career...
Not sure what to do... I felt like he has changed..
He told his coworkers to delete all texting conversions with him...

We are ok.. i guess for now.. since I begged him to stay in the marriage...
but I feel really misearable... I don't know what to do... I don't know what is good for me or for him anymore..
I just don't know how a human being could do that...

I've heard stories about how husband or wife dump their spouse after they become a doctor...
Just can't believe it's happening to me...

What would you do...?

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[EMDO2018]

Married for 10 years...
He has 2 years away from finishing residency...
He wants seperation...
and found out that his mother advised him to divorce me so he doesn't pay me a half of his paycheck...
I am shocked... I feel like I've been used... I had to give up my dream for his career...
Not sure what to do... I felt like he has changed..
He told his coworkers to delete all texting conversions with him...

We are ok.. i guess for now.. since I begged him to stay in the marriage...
but I feel really misearable... I don't know what to do... I don't know what is good for me or for him anymore..
I just don't know how a human being could do that...

I've heard stories about how husband or wife dump their spouse after they become a doctor...
Just can't believe it's happening to me...

What would you do...?

Im not sure what you mean by the bolded blue part. Was he just a gravy train for you? If so maybe there should be a divorce. I think you are a troll though, this is poorly written and doesn't make sense.

 

[Emily8282]

Im not sure what you mean by the bolded blue part. Was he just a gravy train for you? If so maybe there should be a divorce. I think you are a troll though, this is poorly written and doesn't make sense.

EMDO2018... WOW. you are a very mean person. I guess you are just like one of his coworkers. If I could, I would like to delete my post. Well. I won't ever come back to this website because you EMDO2018. I only thought it would be a good place to get advice... Well Thank you EMDO2018

 

[Teresina2005]

Married for 10 years...
He has 2 years away from finishing residency...
He wants seperation...
and found out that his mother advised him to divorce me so he doesn't pay me a half of his paycheck...
I am shocked... I feel like I've been used... I had to give up my dream for his career...
Not sure what to do... I felt like he has changed..
He told his coworkers to delete all texting conversions with him...

We are ok.. i guess for now.. since I begged him to stay in the marriage...
but I feel really misearable... I don't know what to do... I don't know what is good for me or for him anymore..
I just don't know how a human being could do that...

I've heard stories about how husband or wife dump their spouse after they become a doctor...
Just can't believe it's happening to me...

What would you do...?

Emily8282,
I am so sorry to hear you story. I am praying for you and your husband.
Med school is hard on the student and the family. I can only imagine how difficult it is to want to devote all of your time to each (school and family) but also knowing that it's an impossible feat. I'm sure the program has left you both feeling a little disconnected because you are growing in different area of life. I don't mean to say you have grown apart, just growing in areas different than your spouse.
Not knowing you or your situation, I encourage you to please read that article on this website.... I read it a few months ago and continue to be inspired by the courage and grace this woman displayed in a similar scenario. http://theweek.com/article/index/99512/the-last-word-he-said-he-was-leaving-she-ignored-him
Again, I'm praying for you and your husband. If you want to talk, send me a personal message.
Peace and God bless

 

[ruralsurg4now]

Sorry to hear about your situation. I don't know that there is much anyone on here can really say to make it better. Were there signs your marriage was on the rocks or did this just come up fairly rapidly?

By the way, if he stayed only because you begged him, you're really only postponing the inevitable. He needs to feel love for you, not pity.

 

[deleted480308]

I'd encourage you both to see some counseling and try to work it out if you can, if you all can find the reason you fell in love again, that would be best for everyone...I'd also suggest that for your own protection you speak quietly with a lawyer about some advice as to how to handle things in case he ditches

 

[CATDEWORMER]

I think I've heard of a similar story where the wife got extra $$$ from the divorce for supporting his high earning ass through med school and residency. Maybe you can look into that.

Mighty as we'll make him hurt where he can feel it (bank account)

 

[croak]

If this was me, or one of my children the advice would be: Consult an attorney specializing in family law. Do not post publicly. Everything you say can, and may be revisited. Advice from strangers on the internet is silly. Prayer might be nice, but Jesus, last I heard is pretty busy. It was a busy Passover and Easter. If it is a "troll" post, at least it's interesting. Cheers.

 

[TitaniumPhoebe]

Sorry to hear about your situation. I don't know that there is much anyone on here can really say to make it better. Were there signs your marriage was on the rocks or did this just come up fairly rapidly?

By the way, if he stayed only because you begged him, you're really only postponing the inevitable. He needs to feel love for you, not pity.

yes, don't beg him to stay. Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you? I know it hurts, but better to know now and be done with the marriage if he wants out and you can move on and be happy again. I agree with who said don't post too much online. Divorce is ugly. I've been through one and was slandered right and left on facebook. It's stressful.

Are you sure he hasn't started seeing someone else? I'm not going to be well liked by saying this I'm sure, but when I was about 25 I had an affair with a doctor. He was very unhappy in his marriage, and if it hadn't been me, I'm sure he would have cheated with someone else. His wife begged him and begged him not to leave, and eventually got pregnant to keep him. He dropped me and I was heart broken. I thought he was the love of my life. Fast forward and now I'm 41. I am SOOOO thankful that this cheating man didn't leave his wife for me. She got stuck with his lying ass. I am NOT saying that's your husband, he may not be cheating, but I can't help but speak my mind and I've seen the ugly realities of life too much. The key to me though is he said he doesn't want to be with you. If someone tells me they don't want me, they won't have to tell me twice.

So what was your dream you gave up? I say quit waiting. Go back and pursue it and don't let anyone take away your dreams!