Relationship Advice...Do we have a chance?

[EMDO2b]

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[Moonglow]

..., does this relationship have a chance? I don't see myself having a long-distance relationship for the (at least) 6 years that I won't be near him.

Nope.

Don't worry though, six months after the breakup you will forget about him completely and he will forget about you completely - part of life, part of growing up, part of becoming a doctor.

 

[dotdash]

Geographical distance is a really hard thing to overcome when you two are having very different life experiences as well. There are a lot of wonderful men in the world, and unless you are sure you will be miserable every day of your life if you don't have this particular one, it might be better to face the end now, in a good way.

Use that couples therapy session well. The therapist should be able to help you guys look at all the issues (practical and emotional) that you are looking at in the next few years. When you see them all in front of you, it may become clear what the right thing to do is.

 

[sgtbrushes]

Something has to give, and it is up for you to decide.
(1) He sacrifices. Upon graduation, he becomes a cop in the city where you end up living.
(2) You sacrifice. Take a "worse education" rotation site so you are close to him.
(3) The relationship sacrifices. You break up.

No, there is not an option of a long-distance relationship. Living four hours apart while you're in your third year is just prolonging the inevitable. I won't make the decision for you, but why can't he be a cop wherever you go to school next year? Which is more important for him - to be a cop in his home town, or to live a mere 4 hours away to be with his girl? (I moved 1200 miles from my parents, siblings, friends to be with my wife. Guess what? I made new friends and have in-laws. I do not regret it one bit).

 

[sumstorm]

Something has to give, and it is up for you to decide.
(1) He sacrifices. Upon graduation, he becomes a cop in the city where you end up living.
(2) You sacrifice. Take a "worse education" rotation site so you are close to him.
(3) The relationship sacrifices. You break up.

No, there is not an option of a long-distance relationship. Living four hours apart while you're in your third year is just prolonging the inevitable. I won't make the decision for you, but why can't he be a cop wherever you go to school next year? Which is more important for him - to be a cop in his home town, or to live a mere 4 hours away to be with his girl? (I moved 1200 miles from my parents, siblings, friends to be with my wife. Guess what? I made new friends and have in-laws. I do not regret it one bit).

I agree that with what the OP is saying, distance isn't likely. I would question whether 'worse' education is really such a dramatic difference. On a scale of 1 to 100 from useless education to the pinnacle of excellence, is this really a 100 point difference? However, the OP has made it very clear that the 'best' is the highest priority for her at this time. It isn't fair to expect the OP's SO to not serve the community he is a strong part of. That can be really important for someone, and just because it isn't the OP's or sgtbrushes priority doesn't mean it should be disregarded. Not everyone believes in rasing family away from their community of family and friend support. Not everyone wants to wander.

If those are extreme differences for the OP, you may not be well matched. However, it IS possible to live apart and have a happy relationship. My husband and I do it. However, it has to be a priority that both of you are ok with. If you have doubts, it probably isn't going to work. Heck, now because of the economy and pay cuts, my husband is looking at jobs across the country. Life happens and sometimes opportunities that fullfill both of us and offer the best future for us both mean distance and sacrifice. This may just be irreconcilable for you both, though.