Ug.
I'm in Florida. (and I need to vent for a sec)
Husband and I will be attending the funeral of one of our local paramedics who was also a dear friend on Monday. (Not from Covid; worse than that. Use your imaginations about terrible things that healthcare professionals suddenly and unexpectedly die from.)
We both got the Moderna in Dec/Jan. He's working with Covid patients daily at this point at the hospital. My hospice house is a covid negative cohort (but we all know it's everywhere.) We're run down and tired, and of course now we're grieving, so there's always the "am I sick? I don't think I'm sick..." but there is still some Red Tide left from the big outbreak and we did go to the beach for the weekend, so we figured the random cough was just that.
I'm sure this funeral will be huge; this was a beloved person and our EMS/Fire/EM community is reeling. I'm also sure it will be a superspreader event because... well, the above. N95 it? Just mask? I know breakthrough infections are "rare" (heh for not knowing the denominator) and I am not really worried about me although I am a whiny, miserable patient; I don't want to pass it along - I have a nurse undergoing chemo who I'd rather not give it to; most of my patients of late are dying already. AND more selfishly, we are actually taking a very needed vacation in 2 weeks including a rim to rim Grand Canyon hike that has been replanned and postponed so many times I will not be able to bear it if we can't go. It's taken me 5+ f-ing years to score a cabin at Phantom Ranch and I haven't been able to get on an airplane in 18 months. By God, I am doing this hike!
What started as a really awesome, restful weekend has dissolved into a terrible week and now we are just trying to make it one day at a time.
Of all the senseless, pointless deaths, well, this one is up there. I'm really struggling with it, and by the nature of it, there will be no answers, no closure, no... nothing. Just grief. And I, on the whole, do death pretty well. That's how bad this one is.
Take care of yourselves people.
I almost didn't write this, but if anyone out there is thinking about doing something, ahem, rash, because they've hit their breaking point, please don't.
There is enough suffering in this world without adding to it deliberately.