Need HELP

[shelrobnak]

Im currently a pre med student at the University of missouri. I am only a freshman but I have a boyfriend back home whom I have been with for 6 years. At mizzou I am over 2 hours away from him. It is very difficult being so far away when we are so very close. I wants me to come closer to home and transfer to SLU. I dont mind transfering to SLU its just that I have come to be acostome to mizzou and i quite love it there... I dont know what to do... Suggestions please!!!!

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[mcreed]

Im currently a pre med student at the University of missouri. I am only a freshman but I have a boyfriend back home whom I have been with for 6 years. At mizzou I am over 2 hours away from him. It is very difficult being so far away when we are so very close. I wants me to come closer to home and transfer to SLU. I dont mind transfering to SLU its just that I have come to be acostome to mizzou and i quite love it there... I dont know what to do... Suggestions please!!!!

Might as well learn this now... it won't work. You are best to break it off... especially if you wish to become a physician. I'm not saying you can't be friends... but it's best for you to just flat out cut the cord. If you will already compromise yourself by transferring schools to be closer to him then that's just not fair to you... especially if he is not currently in college. And if you do give in... then you will likely not make it as a physician (try explaining why you transferred during your med school interviews). You need to be as selfish as possible for the next four plus years in regards to your education. You're in college now (although it is Mizzou... rock chalk!), it's time to focus on yourself, make new experiences, make your studying your top priority, and not let a romance that started at age 12 (approximately) hinder you. If it is truly meant to be then you will find a way in the future, without having to compromise your education and the best four years of your life.

I'm pretty sure most people will agree with me on that. Let me know how it goes!

P.S. If you do transfer... probably should come to KU

 

[dancer89]

hate to sound harsh, but two hours apart? that is basically nothing. and if he's pressuring you to transfer then that definitely sounds like a no -go.

 

[OrangeandMaroon]

^^Agreed.

It's your time to be selfish, at least with regards to your education. If you want to make it work do so from your current location. Like Dancer said, two hours is nothing. I'm really not one to give relationship advice but being in a six year relationship as a freshmen just seems like a little much. Experience college and have fun! Best of luck.

 

[moneymill4569]

How is this a school-specific discussion?

 

[Droofus]

How is this a school-specific discussion?

Haha, or even a pre-med discussion, for that matter.

 

[TexasSD]

Yeah girl, do not make the move. Unless you come up with a wonderful explanation about how the transfer benefited you academically, allowed you to pursue a specific passion, made it easier for you to serve the community, etc - it could be an awkward moment during the med school interview. Not to mention it is interview time spent explaining/justifying something, time that could have otherwise been spent talking about your achievements.

2 hours is not bad. It's short enough to see each other every weekend - that keeps it fresh! - it's better than smothering each other, that ends relationships. You should not have to make the sacrifice of moving schools (especially when you love Mizzou!). Freshman year is difficult, and it is important to fight the urge to move back home - you are not the only one there feeling homesick or missing your boy; tough it out til at least sophomore year, then reevaluate if you must.

Now that we are all graduating, I have 2 friends who were both in "long distance", long term relationships with men who went to different universities, and they have both recently become engaged to these men. They made it work, both with even more than 2 hours distance between them. What I'm saying is it is doable.

This is the time when you need to put school #1. You're building your application already. Stay at Mizzou.

 

[wildlifeiskey]

I'm only posting so you don't make a rash decision based on the input of internet strangers. I assume your asking for help/perspective at SDN because you are interested in becoming a physician and are preparing for that long journey ahead of you.

First, relationships, especially romantic ones are special. Neither I, nor anyone here, has any idea of what kind of relationship you have with your boyfriend, so I'm skeptical (and appalled) by the clamoring to immediately and quickly break-up with your boyfriend because that relationship is inevitably some sort of hindrance for you reaching your career goals. Since we don't have that knowledge, you should caution yourself from blindly accepting the notion that "if I want success, I have to sacrifice a relationship I enjoy and cherish." Granted, the advice to break-up with your boyfriend might be valid for some (is the relationship new, tumultuous, riddled with drama etc.); in those cases, if you prioritize wanting a career in medicine over that type of relationship, it *would* be beneficial to make the cut, as it would be easier for yourself emotionally that having to do so later on.

Granted, I think the concern from the members here arose because he requested you move closer to him. Is it a demand, or a request? Is your relationship suffering because of distance or not? Can your situation change in the coming years/months were you might be able to visit each other more frequently?

I think you have a lot to consider, but appreciate what you have. Having developed a relationship over so many years, I am sure it is something very special, and I think it is a little foolish/naive to believe that one *has* to give that up in order to achieve dreams and goals. Both of you, working and communicating together, can make it work. You can stay with your boyfriend and become a doctor if you have a solid, mature relationship. That's the most important thing I wanted to communicate to you; so reflect more deeply before making any decision. If you want to talk more you can always PM me.