Medical Terminology as Spoken by the Layperson...

[DOrk]

And, I swear, EVERY patient I've met over 50 has pronounced it "prostrate". I'm not sure whether it is rude to correct them.


A brilliant heme/onc attending I work with pronounces it "prostrate" too

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[DOtobe]

An attending told me about a pt he had with an itch in her "tuna tank." He tried to convince her it wasn't supposed to smell like that

I almost lost my breakfast with this one..

(Where's the vomiting smiley when I need it?)

 

[DrTex?]

A social worker told me that she had to work HARD to convince a young mother to change her son's name from Latrine.

Hard to believe?? I went to high school with a girl named Latrina. The girl was pretty nice... but what a name. I can't believe that she went by it. I am Matthew, but I go by Matt. What about Latty or something like that?

 

[Sessamoid]

Hard to believe?? I went to high school with a girl named Latrina. The girl was pretty nice... but what a name. I can't believe that she went by it. I am Matthew, but I go by Matt. What about Latty or something like that?

That's what happens when you mix two languages in one word/name. Bad things happen. "La" is appended to lots of names because I guess it sounds French and fancy. I dunno. "Trina" is a short form for the Germanic "Katrina".

Just goes to show how bad things can get when you mix German and French together. Two world wars can't be wrong.

 

[Seaglass]

Two world wars can't be wrong.

Word.

 

[47534]

I don't remember if this was posted or not and I'm too lazy to read through all the posts again. Anyway, I was just surfing the web and happened upon this website which reminded me of this thread.

http://www.shartwell.freeserve.co.uk/humor-site/medical-acronyms.htm

 

[GeneGoddess]

I don't remember if this was posted or not and I'm too lazy to read through all the posts again. Anyway, I was just surfing the web and happened upon this website which reminded me of this thread.

http://www.shartwell.freeserve.co.uk/humor-site/medical-acronyms.htm

That reminds me... I just picked up a patient who was transfered from another hospital because of a "negative wallet biopsy". (ie: patient had no insurance, so was transfered to our cheaper hospital)

 

[docB]

Tubal Litigation- (I swear I'm not making this up) I assume this means she sued her Gyn.

Defibulator- A device that rips out a leg bone.

Prostrate trouble- Difficulty picking yourself up off the street.

 

[DOrk]

How about "COPD exasperation?" (Commonly written by triage nurses).

 

[la gringa]

don't ask if patients can urinate, or even pee ok, while in the south - it's all about "passing your water".

that observation led me to peg a patient i saw in boston as a southerner - she was from alabama originally.

patients "vomick" in NC too.

 

[waterski232002]

don't ask if patients can urinate, or even pee ok, while in the south - it's all about "passing your water".

that observation led me to peg a patient i saw in boston as a southerner - she was from alabama originally.

patients "vomick" in NC too.

Don't forget to ask them if they "got sugar", or if their "nerves" are okay....

 

[bemused]

patients "vomick" in NC too.

A medical director told me once that we were allowed to say that our pt "vomicked," but only if it came through their nose as well as their mouth. Ewww!

 

[Apollyon]

Mother about her child - "he's got the 'thrash' all in his mouth!"

 

[Caffeinated]

A few favorites from the eye clinic:

1. "immaculate degeneration" = macular degeneration.

2. I had a classmate in optometry school who was seeing a patient with a corneal disease called keratoconus. During the history the guy told the student he had "cunnilingus."

3. An instructor once told me about seeing patients in the south where diabetes is called "the sugar." He asked a patient one day "how's your sugar?" Her response: "oh he's fine."

 

[Seaglass]

A medical director told me once that we were allowed to say that our pt "vomicked," but only if it came through their nose as well as their mouth. Ewww!

According to rednecks in the know, that is that is the actual difference between vomiting and vomicking.

 

[Mary Jane Watson]

Some other people have mentioned this one but we actually have an abbreviation for it - the IM guys use it all the time as their cc.

DFO: done fell out

 

[tigress]

Hard to believe?? I went to high school with a girl named Latrina. The girl was pretty nice... but what a name. I can't believe that she went by it. I am Matthew, but I go by Matt. What about Latty or something like that?

So this is from my mother, an attorney, who worked in Legal Aid for almost 20 years. She's done name changes for a woman named Shlitzella (apparently conceived while her parents were drinking Shlitz) and another named Clitoris. Have to wonder what her teachers in school called her...

 

[leviathan]

"I've got these pains in my ribs...Are you gonna use a defibulator on me?"

"I've got a fast heart....The doctor gave me a ten of All" (atenolol...apparantly she thinks laundry detergent is a good beta blocker )

"I've got x and y and z symptoms...its because of the fibre in my algae" (fibromyalgia)

 

[tkim]

"I take the peanutbutterballs and latex."

The first one was already mentioned.

 

[v-tach]

I heard this one the other day:

Super Heart Partying = Supraventricular Tachycardia

That is too funny!! I suppose that's about what it would feel like...

 

[v-tach]

A social worker told me that she had to work HARD to convince a young mother to change her son's name from Latrine.

And why does everyone talk about how their father had a "stint" put in his heart. I have heard this from everyone I know. Are there tons of cardiologists out there with poor pronunciation?

I don't know, but I hear people say it that way a lot too, or spell it improperly. It bugs me.

 

[v-tach]

"I've got these pains in my ribs...Are you gonna use a defibulator on me?"

"I've got a fast heart....The doctor gave me a ten of All" (atenolol...apparantly she thinks laundry detergent is a good beta blocker )

"I've got x and y and z symptoms...its because of the fibre in my algae" (fibromyalgia)

On a related note, have you noticed the number of people who pronounce "defibrillator" "defribulator"? It seems pretty common.

 

[v-tach]

I have to agree with this, everyone on Long Island (where I am from) uses the definite article when speaking of highways/parkways/bridges/tunnels. Some examples are:

The Southern State = Southern State Parkway
The Belt = Belt Parkway
The Grand Central = Grand Central Parkway
The Meadowbrook = Meadowbrook Parkway
The L.I.E = Long Island Expressway
The Conduit = Northern or Southern Conduit
The Whitestone = Whitestone Bridge
The Throgsneck = Throgsneck Bridge
The Lincoln = Lincoln Tunnel
The Midtown = Midtown Tunnel
The Island = Long Island (If you live their) Or Staten Island (If you live in the boroughs of the city)
Etc...

Massachusetts Turnpike = the Pike
Cape Cod = the Cape

 

[v-tach]

"I take the peanutbutterballs and latex."

The first one was already mentioned.

Latex = Lasix??

 

[tkim]

Latex = Lasix??

Ding! Ding! Ding!

 

[spyderdoc]

On a related note, have you noticed the number of people who pronounce "defibrillator" "defribulator"? It seems pretty common.

Kinda like "phenergren" instead of phenergan. I hear this mostly from Docs. I dunno why people think there is that extra "r" in the word....

 

[spyderdoc]

Tubal Litigation- (I swear I'm not making this up) I assume this means she sued her Gyn.

I hear "tubalization" a lot!

 

[Sessamoid]

Kinda like "phenergren" instead of phenergan. I hear this mostly from Docs. I dunno why people think there is that extra "r" in the word....

Speaking of common mispronunciations by doctors, the common pronunciation of "ibuprofen" is actually incorrect. The stress is actually supposed to be on the second syllable.

Ibuprofen(001520)
[ eye-byoo'-proe-fen ]

 

[jpgreer13]

You want a great name?

I had a kid last year named Frftrous Peair. That's pronounced "far-truss pierre".

I can't make this stuff up.

 

[Febrifuge]

*coughHIPAAcough*

 

[ekydrd]

... We came up with a fourth, Trauma LIGHT (half the calories, all the fun!) and it has the following criteria (if any or all of these are met):

1) CC begins, "I was walking down the street and these two dudes..."

2) Positive Mullet sign (the Mullet can be graded, just like Spleen lacs, severe Mullets are known to show up on radiographic studies)

3) Inverted tatoo-tooth ratio

4) Foreign object in rectum (I'm constantly amazed at what gets stuck up there!)

5) 911-Taxi utilization (the numebr of the cab company here is 231-TAXI, so 911-TAXI is using EMS as a cab...)

6) Patient entering at 3 am with back pain that they've had for " 'bout 6 months."

Anyone have additional criteria they think should be added?

Back pain for only 6 months? 'round here it's usually 10 years or so.

Here's another to add... pt's will tell me they had their colinospity done and the doc found lots of them little ploppips that he took out. Pt's CC? Still having diarrhea.... had some of the GoLytely left and had been told to drink all of it, but instructions were not clear about when to take all of it.

 

[ekydrd]

*coughHIPAAcough*

Nice!!! Very subtle Febrifuge.

Names are a hoot to poke fun at when there are very strange one's. Makes you wonder what the parent was thinking. I for one have quite a list compiled of strange and unusual names.

I think my fave is a woman who named her newborn daughter after an STD when she saw the word in her chart and thought it was very pretty.

 

[DOrk]

Nice!!! Very subtle Febrifuge.

Names are a hoot to poke fun at when there are very strange one's. Makes you wonder what the parent was thinking. I for one have quite a list compiled of strange and unusual names.

I think my fave is a woman who named her newborn daughter after an STD when she saw the word in her chart and thought it was very pretty.

Let me guess...Chlamydia?

My sister always jokes that she wants to name her first born daughter labia just because she likes the way the word sounds.

 

[Febrifuge]

Over the weekend, we had a pt referred from another facility, and a slot was put in the computer for him. Having only the last name at first, the HUC had him down as "Trauma Jones" (not the pt's real name). Then when the pt arrived, the name was added, so he was "Trauma Jones, William."

Somebody commented on that during the case, and (knowing the pt could not hear me) I said, "Well, look at him. Trauma is his middle name."

My vote for cool medical word that would make a nice upstanding name is "Emesis." Good for a boy or a girl!

 

[pman95]

Last night I saw a patient with reciprocal renopathy (which obviously is peripheral neuropathy).

Had a kid who's parents named 'em Abcdey....... hmmmm.

 

[Sessamoid]

Had a kid who's parents named 'em Abcdey....... hmmmm.

That's no more stupid a name than abciximab, though.

 

[Apollyon]

That's no more stupid a name than abciximab, though.

What about eptifibatide? Or Abliify (Don King would be so proud...)?

 

[WilcoWorld]

"Do you mean to tell me that your father has Alzheimer's disease sir?"

"No, just some-timer's"

 

[pushinepi2]

Here's the requisite disclaimer:

1. Names have been changed/deleted to protect the innocent and appease the HIPPA freaks.
2. The following story represents an acutal occurence and is not the extension of personal prejudice.

That being said.....

One patient in the ED asked me why his belly was, "so swole." He acknolwedged his chronic alcohol consumption and we talked about its consequences. "Oh, naw! You mean I finna got roaches of the livah?"

Another patient (some white dude, to be fair) presented to the ED for a complete extensor paralysis in his right forearm. His story kept changing from "sleeping the wrong way on the arm" to "falling down drunk against a chair." One ED tech who was taking vitals asked the patient if some girl got, "coyote ugly" on him...

On medicine wards, I was talking with the family of a patient diagnosed with reactive pulmonary tuberculosis. I mentioned the necessity of starting specific antibiotic therapy. The patient's uncle, dissatisfied with the care his relative recieved in the ED said," You docs don't know nuthin! He already got rox-a-feen and Gooteronomy in the ED!"

Happily awaiting further educational material,

-P

 

[pushinepi2]

Speaking of common mispronunciations by doctors, the common pronunciation of "ibuprofen" is actually incorrect. The stress is actually supposed to be on the second syllable.

..And I thought those medical toxicologists were being academically smug. What about cardiologists who prescribe LEYE-pih-toor.

..And what the heck, please tell me, is a SONTAMETER? Is this a centimeter when measured by a radiologist? A surgical elitist revision of the metric system? What gives? "As you can plainly see, the seven SONTAMETER / SONAMETER mass is easily appreciated in the patient's liver.."

Give me a break!

 

[bemused]

Another patient (some white dude, to be fair) presented to the ED for a complete extensor paralysis in his right forearm.

Did you call the police? Some white dude is a highly dangerous guy - he's wanted for assaults on all those poor innocent people who only had two beers and were minding their own business

 

[2006MD]

wha wha what?

 

[deleted4401]

Me: "Your kid have any other medical issues?"
Pt: "Oh yeah, he's got the hype!"
Me: "The what?!?"
Pt: "The hype, you know ... he take Ritalin for it"

I liked that one ...

Also, when talking about changing dosage, a patient refered to it as either 'creasing it up or 'creasing it down ... Hehehe

Later,
Simul

 

[pushinepi2]

Did you call the police? Some white dude is a highly dangerous guy - he's wanted for assaults on all those poor innocent people who only had two beers and were minding their own business

Believe me, if I knew who this, "some dude" was, I probably would have enough money to pay back my school loans in one fell swoop. Some Dude is wanted for various crimes and misdemeanors throughout the continental US. I'll keep my eyes peeled.

 

[docB]

I had this exchange with a pt in for vag itch:
Me: Have you ever been told you have pelvic inflamatory disease.
Pt: Naw.
Me: Have you ever had any kind of vaginal infection before?
Pt: I don't know?
Me: You don't know if you've ever had an infection before?
Pt: Alls I knows is I's had cooters in my ***** before and that's what is like now.

To my knowledge there's not an ICD9 code for "cooters in the *****."

 

[Sessamoid]

To my knowledge there's not an ICD9 code for "cooters in the *****."

It's so tempting to write that down as a diagnosis and see what the coders come up with.

 

[papichulodoc]

Pt: Alls I knows is I's had cooters in my ***** before and that's what is like now.

How did you keep a straight face?

That doesn't top what one of the OB/GYN attendings told a patient immediately after giving birth.

Pt: "Doctor, will I need stitches?"

Doc: "Naw, girl......you got like....rug burns on the cootchie. You don't need stitches there."

The patient sat with her legs on the stirrups looking exhausted and....perplexed.

 

[Paws]

Okay, here is my addition to the ebonics thread - except, it was from a white guy. (This thread is a non-discriminatory kind of thing ain't it?)

an 'umberella' cord, when referring to the homeless woman who had given birth prematurely in the stalls of the local supermarket. As in, 'yea, she had even cut her own umberella cord herself ...'

pretty tough lady ...

 

[Apollyon]

He also informed us that the most dangerous place in the world is "sittin' on da porch," a place where almost all people are when they are shot/stabbed, nevermind the ginormous bag of crack in their pocket. When I read these class notes I actually laughed out loud, and had to leave the library for a while to compose myself.

PS- the second most dangerous place in the world is "on the way to church"

And the most dangerous job in America? Firefighter? Astronaut? Lumberjack? Mere amateurs. THE most dangerous job in America is "minding your own business", which will tend to get you beaten/robbed/stabbed/shot in the ass/hand/leg/chest/abdomen/groin/neck/head apparently at a higher frequency than any other occupation. "That dude" gets around, especially to those poor folks coming home from the church or prayer meeting, or sitting on the porch, reading the Bible with grandma.

 

[b&ierstiefel]

I was workin' in Gyn clinic one day and I was instructed to see the new patient in room 9. So me be like, "Yeah, it's all good. I'm on it."

I enter into the room and based on my training, my first step is to elicit the chief complaint. So I ask the lady, "What brings you into clinic today?"

The first words out of her mouf was, "My bo-gina be itchin' !"

So a lil' whiles later, I'm writin' down my patient note. And I have been trained to state the chief complaint in the patient's own words. So I write:
CC: "My bo-gina be itchin'"

The resident to whom I was reporting didn't fault me for this and actually found it funny. Later that night though she did say, "maybe it would have been more appropriate to write, 'my vagina is itching' "