Long Distance Blues

[Squirmish]

I can't give out too many details because I'm trying to protect my anonymity but I really would like some good advice and perspective. I'm a female in my 3rd year of med school and my boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for over 3 years. We've been in a long distance relationship for a few months now due to school. He had to move away because he got into a different medical school than the one that I was in.

My boyfriend recently told me that he's feeling very confused. He says that he loves me and cares about me but he doesn't really like long distance relationships. He says he needs to figure out his thoughts and what he wants. The thing is, we're going to have to be in a long distance relationship for the next year and a half because of school. We get to visit each other every couple of months. It's been a few months since we last saw each other so I'm not sure if this is causing his confusion of feelings. I asked him if he's interested in someone else and he said no. He said he has been thinking too much and he's just confused.

So what should I do? Should I just end it now? I don't really want to end it now because I still love him and I see the distance as a temporary thing. I really would like to do my residency where he is. But I don't know how long I should wait for him to sort out his feelings.

Thanks in advance

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[wena17]

good luck! I hope everything works out.

 

[sumstorm]

OK, so you both have had a big relationship transition in the past few months, and he has had an entire life transition.

Is there something wrong with just waitng a while and seeing how it works out? I mean, are you desperate to head out and date? Someone you have your eye on? I am not suggesting you should contribute more effort and energy than you are willing to to a relationship that may end (though any relationship can be ended at any time) but that in the grand scheme of things, is it really so difficult just to let him have time to figure it out? or is it 'who breaks up with who first?' issue.

Give him space and time to deal with the transitions and figure out his head. Ask that he keep the communications open. Discuss these things. maybe even have a visit. remember how stressful the first semester of the first year was. he may just need time to adjust to everything.

Or maybe it won't work out, but unless it is going to change your day to day life now, you don't have ot rush.