Interracial Marriages/Relationships

[Premedtomed]

I did not come to the US because I just wanted to. It was a family decision.

ALso, like i said before I am not trying to preach. DO whatever you want to, I am never going to interefere in your affairs.

But it is simply sad.

As for India, my wish is that India gets economically better so that others might not have to move here out financial reasons at least,
if you didn't know quite afew Silicon Valley people have moved back to India for the same reason.

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[sunny123]

I did not come to the US because I just wanted to. It was a family decision.

ALso, like i said before I am not trying to preach. DO whatever you want to, I am never going to interefere in your affairs.

But it is simply sad.

As for India, my wish is that India gets economically better so that others might not have to move here out financial reasons at least,
if you didn't know quite afew Silicon Valley people have moved back to India for the same reason.

I have IT friends that went back to India right after completing their ComSci degrees here in Uni, and you're telling me that India is not in a good economic standing? Have you seen what kind of volume they do in terms of trading and bonds? My mother deals with the Indian SE (stock exchange), and they are doing nothing but good.

Listen Sid, I don't wish to further anything more with you, and I'd like to leave it here.

 

[rrreagan]

I did not come to the US because I just wanted to. It was a family decision.

ALso, like i said before I am not trying to preach. DO whatever you want to, I am never going to interefere in your affairs.

But it is simply sad.

As for India, my wish is that India gets economically better so that others might not have to move here out financial reasons at least,
if you didn't know quite afew Silicon Valley people have moved back to India for the same reason.

India is an uncleansed CESSPOOL of IDOLATRY, MURDER, ROBBERY, SLAVE-TRAFFICKING and other DESPICABLE ACTS.

The politicians are corrupt and venal and the ORDINARY CITIZENRY use ASTRONOMY for important decision-making....

There's no infrastructure to speak of, even now, at the height of the technological boom.

 

[tinkerbelle]

India is an uncleansed CESSPOOL of IDOLATRY, MURDER, ROBBERY, SLAVE-TRAFFICKING and other DESPICABLE ACTS.

Hey, you just described America too. Good job.

Why are you so anti-India

 

[data]

India is an uncleansed CESSPOOL of IDOLATRY, MURDER, ROBBERY, SLAVE-TRAFFICKING and other DESPICABLE ACTS.

The politicians are corrupt and venal and the ORDINARY CITIZENRY use ASTRONOMY for important decision-making....

There's no infrastructure to speak of, even now, at the height of the technological boom.

Not only did you describe the US, but also China, Australia, England, Rwanda, and a few dozen more countries. Are you a total ***** or what? I think you were born in a cesspool (ie. America), and your english isn't up to par. Have you spoken to any of these people who would not prefer the term S.Asian? People would like to avoid any anomosity, by using a term that does not segregate us.

 

[data]

As for meeting women from other races, I meet them all the time. I have nothing against what you do with your significant other or how you do it,
for the most part the only thing I have heard is how Indians are trashy, worthless ( I am not mad, but this is the prevailing view)

Who knows, how many times I have been insulted directly/indirectly.

BTW I was in a fraternity = hence drinking, meeting women all the time. that was college - fun time.
I did not carry this over with me in personal life. Even "white girls" are respectful of our culture, if you didn't know that.

have you ever been faced by uncertainty like I have - financial and moral - where everywhere I went I saw nothing but materialism and snobbery.

you all are the kind of people who was protected loved and sheltered, you have never seen any real problems.

You talk about somebody celebrating Greek festivals - it is ok I guess. it's democracy do whatever you want to. But NOT EVERYONE DOES THIS.

POINT being , I am not trying to preach. BUT WHAT I HAVE FOUND IS LACK OF INTEREST IN UNDERSTANDING THE VIEWS OF PEOPLE WITH A DIFF. BACKGROUND.

Sunny asked you what your definition of culture was. You did not answer it at all. You just go on in la la land with all this mumbojumbo. Are we having a conversation? This isn't a VENTING THREAD. You keep saying "our culture" you just contradicted yourself by admiting indians follow greek festivals. Okay so there isn't ONE CULTURE. So you really can't define the culture of india. So there isn't any point of crying. My indians dont' know who they are. Do you know who you are? can you tell me what is your culture? seriously you can't. Who would you go and ask for your culture? Your grandpa? Are you refering to heritage? not culture? I think there is a difference.

 

[data]

Hey, you just described America too. Good job.

Why are you so anti-India

Thanks for coming out!
See ya in 20 threads.

 

[Pakorah]

I did not come to the US because I just wanted to. It was a family decision.

ALso, like i said before I am not trying to preach. DO whatever you want to, I am never going to interefere in your affairs.

But it is simply sad.

As for India, my wish is that India gets economically better so that others might not have to move here out financial reasons at least,
if you didn't know quite afew Silicon Valley people have moved back to India for the same reason.

I don't like Indians like yourself who come to this country to bitch and complain about how ignorant everyone here is to YOUR needs/culture/heritage whatever you're talking about in this thread... Seriously, don't take the economic advantage of this country, then whine... Go back, then you and I will both be happy. You are a big boy now, so if you really wanted to, you can go back to India to do your education.

 

[rrreagan]

Do I sense frustration over the Iraq war? LOL. Either that, or you're in bad need of some attention. I do, however, find it amusing that you parade yourself as a "Christian." Can you tell me something? Why is the Bible full of Jewish characters (heck, who isn't Jewish in the Bible), and yet you Christians consider yourselves superior to the Jew? I mean, where is the originality in Christianity... to me, it looks like a whole Jewish conspiracy to fool the Western world. And gullible pplz like you fall for the trap too easily.

As for your comments regarding India, its not all Hindu. There was a time when Buddhism threatened to overtake Hinduism. Yes, Buddhism developed in India. Some say Jesus lived in Kashmir. There is also Jainism & Sikhism. There are even Zoroastrians and Jews. The Moghuls also had a presence (probably y its in such bad shape today). All these different "religions"; now add 2000 yrs to that, this is y tradition is so strong there. Instead of pretending to drink fake (Jewish!!!) blood on Sundays, you might consider reading a history book for a change: not every nation on the map is 225 yrs old.

I'm a Protestant---the Presbyterian church is a Calvinist one. We don't celebrate Mass.

But go ahead and lump all Christians in the same boat....

 

[Boinger]

have you ever been faced by uncertainty like I have - financial and moral - where everywhere I went I saw nothing but materialism and snobbery.

you all are the kind of people who was protected loved and sheltered, you have never seen any real problems.

you have no bearing upon what you speak i have seen it all and been through it all i have spent time in numerous countries and prob seen way more than you can ever hope too.... so dont lecture me about seeing this and that

INDIANS like YOU are one of the main reasons i dont associate with many indians... i hate closed minded people and you sir are one of them... i would go on with you but i think you have been successful in making yourself look like an ass through your own posts so i dont need to do that

and this rreagan idiot is a ***** gtfo of here

 

[saffronrain]

have you ever been faced by uncertainty like I have - financial and moral - where everywhere I went I saw nothing but materialism and snobbery.

you all are the kind of people who was protected loved and sheltered, you have never seen any real problems.

WOW. stop feeling sorry for yourself. loser. everyone's got their own burden(s) to bear, you can't just think you're the only one on Earth who's been faced w/ those problems.

 

[saffronrain]

I'm a Protestant---the Presbyterian church is a Calvinist one. We don't celebrate Mass.

But go ahead and lump all Christians in the same boat....

and so we shall "lump all Christians in the same boat...." because you have done just that to us Hindus.

 

[ice_23]

and so we shall "lump all Christians in the same boat...." because you have done just that to us Hindus.

The troll is purposely being inconsistent in order to provoke. Ignore the troll.

 

[tinkerbelle]

Thanks for coming out!
See ya in 20 threads.

 

[data]

you have no bearing upon what you speak i have seen it all and been through it all i have spent time in numerous countries and prob seen way more than you can ever hope too.... so dont lecture me about seeing this and that

INDIANS like YOU are one of the main reasons i dont associate with many indians... i hate closed minded people and you sir are one of them... i would go on with you but i think you have been successful in making yourself look like an ass through your own posts so i dont need to do that

and this rreagan idiot is a ***** gtfo of here

I totally agree. Seriously I did not have a brown friend since grade 11 till university 3rd year. Around the same time I met Sunny. There are too many guys like sid out there.

 

[sunny123]

At least you still visit us, for that we appreciate it

 

[Premedtomed]

Anyways Have A Great Life

 

[1hotaartichoke]

wow...the indian forum has come so far from when i started coming in here...

real posters, and now...to top it all off...real trolls!

does anyone wanna get back to the topic of interracial relationships?

 

[saffronrain]

wow...the indian forum has come so far from when i started coming in here...

real posters, and now...to top it all off...real trolls!

does anyone wanna get back to the topic of interracial relationships?

wow long time no see.

okay so what's your opinion on it? i think most ppl have answered (or rather, have tried to answer it... but got a little sidetracked) the question...

trolls suck.

 

[1hotaartichoke]

wow long time no see.

okay so what's your opinion on it? i think most ppl have answered (or rather, have tried to answer it... but got a little sidetracked) the question...

trolls suck.

uh, i think they are fine. i feel that everyone focuses on it too much. i dated a white guy for 4 yrs, and i never once felt like he was trivializing my culture or background. he was always genuinely interested in it, and he even watched his fair share of hindi movies with me. (he could sing K3G songs when i played em in the car). i also dated an indian guy for a yr, and he was a total idiot, who didn't know much about his culture.

would i be open to another interracial relationship? yes. but, i know it would only work out if the guy had respect for my culture, since it is important to me.

i know a set of five siblings. one married an indian guy, the rest all married non-indians. the only one to get divorced was the one who married the indian guy. the rest are all fine and happy, and they are teaching their mixed kids about the indian culture. and i know, anecdotal evidence is hardly fact. but, if those other siblings met people who weren't indian, who they felt were right for them, im glad they went for it.

overall, i think people should do what makes them happy. if i meet a guy (who isnt indian), and he makes me happy (and all that other jazz), then im gonna stick with him, regardless of if he is indian or not. and, while it would be cool to end up with an indian guy, im keeping my options open. what can i say, im an equal opportunist

i know my parents wouldn't be thrilled, but i know they would get over it. i talked to my dad about it when i was dating the white guy. my dad says: we would prefer an indian, but if he makes you happy, and treats you well, we will be ok with it.

 

[Boinger]

hiya aarti welcome back =)

im new! =P

 

[KNightInBlue]

uh, i think they are fine. i feel that everyone focuses on it too much. i dated a white guy for 4 yrs, and i never once felt like he was trivializing my culture or background. he was always genuinely interested in it, and he even watched his fair share of hindi movies with me. (he could sing K3G songs when i played em in the car). i also dated an indian guy for a yr, and he was a total idiot, who didn't know much about his culture.

would i be open to another interracial relationship? yes. but, i know it would only work out if the guy had respect for my culture, since it is important to me.

i know a set of five siblings. one married an indian guy, the rest all married non-indians. the only one to get divorced was the one who married the indian guy. the rest are all fine and happy, and they are teaching their mixed kids about the indian culture. and i know, anecdotal evidence is hardly fact. but, if those other siblings met people who weren't indian, who they felt were right for them, im glad they went for it.

overall, i think people should do what makes them happy. if i meet a guy (who isnt indian), and he makes me happy (and all that other jazz), then im gonna stick with him, regardless of if he is indian or not. and, while it would be cool to end up with an indian guy, im keeping my options open. what can i say, im an equal opportunist

i know my parents wouldn't be thrilled, but i know they would get over it. i talked to my dad about it when i was dating the white guy. my dad says: we would prefer an indian, but if he makes you happy, and treats you well, we will be ok with it.

wow, now if only all desi parents are like that...

As for interracial relationships, it depends on the personality/background of the person. If a person's been exposed to different cultures from early on, I doubt they'd have a problem with it. But if they are raised in a closeted culture, like in India, they will definitely have trouble dating a non-Indian.

My cousin, who is 24, just came to the states to pursue residency and when he saw me hug a friend (who happened to a white girl) goodye for vacation, he got all pissed that I was selling out to the goras and getting all chummy with them. Normally, I'd get peeved, but I realise where he's coming from.

As for me, brown, black, white, yellow, its all the same. If there's an attraction, I am going for it. I do however have this secret wish in the back of mind that the love of my life will be an indian girl, just 'cuz I can't help feeling that things would work out a lot better that way.............for my parents/family at least.

Peace

 

[saffronrain]

wow, now if only all desi parents are like that...

As for interracial relationships, it depends on the personality/background of the person. If a person's been exposed to different cultures from early on, I doubt they'd have a problem with it. But if they are raised in a closeted culture, like in India, they will definitely have trouble dating a non-Indian.

That's a good point.
As I said before, quite a few of my friends are married to non-Indians and my parents and I had been to their weddings... my uncle married a white lady after getting a divorce from the Indian one... you'd think my parents would be used to it all, but it's definitely not the case.
Aarti- your parents seem really lenient. LUCKY! (As Napoleon Dynamite might say- sorry couldn't resist).
Okay later.

 

[data]

That's a good point.
As I said before, quite a few of my friends are married to non-Indians and my parents and I had been to their weddings... my uncle married a white lady after getting a divorce from the Indian one... you'd think my parents would be used to it all, but it's definitely not the case.
Aarti- your parents seem really lenient. LUCKY! (As Napoleon Dynamite might say- sorry couldn't resist).
Okay later.

This thread now is getting boring. You are either against it or not. No one is having any discussions. We need trolls to make this thread fun.

 

[saffronrain]

This thread now is getting boring. You are either against it or not. No one is having any discussions. We need trolls to make this thread fun.

ew. you're probably one of those closet trolls.














k .. i'm in a bad mood. peace.

 

[ice_23]

i know a set of five siblings. one married an indian guy, the rest all married non-indians. the only one to get divorced was the one who married the indian guy. the rest are all fine and happy, and they are teaching their mixed kids about the indian culture. and i know, anecdotal evidence is hardly fact. but, if those other siblings met people who weren't indian, who they felt were right for them, im glad they went for it.

Sure, but it's this sort of anecdotal "evidence" which bolsters the ridiculous complex that some S. Asian girls have of S. Asian guys. Your story almost seems to be a subtle warning for S. Asian girls.

Sometimes it appears that, while the non S. Asian man can get away with simply being tenuously "accepting of [insert your S. Asian religion]" or sort of learning "indian songs/dance" to win over a S. Asian girl's heart, a S. Asian man is not only expected to know many of these things (or be pejoratively branded an "ABCD" or whatever the catch-phrase is today), but also walk on eggshells so as not to be overly demanding/paternalistic (i.e. too "indian") at the same time. It's an idiotic system of high-expectations compounded with an elitist social class complex (which I've alluded to earlier in my posts).

Interracial relationships are completely fine with me, so long as people are honest with themselves and don't hold specific races (i.e. their own) to higher standards than others. This goes for both genders, but obviously I pay more attention to the one I'm interested in.

-Ice

 

[data]

ew. you're probably one of those closet trolls.
k .. i'm in a bad mood. peace.

first of all there is only one troll here. Second of all "The only way to deal with trolls is to limit your reaction to reminding others not to respond to trolls."

ps anyone collect trolls?

 

[sunny123]

Sure, but it's this sort of anecdotal "evidence" which bolsters the ridiculous complex that some S. Asian girls have of S. Asian guys. Your story almost seems to be a subtle warning for S. Asian girls.

Sometimes it appears that, while the non S. Asian man can get away with simply being tenuously "accepting of [insert your S. Asian religion]" or sort of learning "indian songs/dance" to win over a S. Asian girl's heart, a S. Asian man is not only expected to know many of these things (or be pejoratively branded an "ABCD" or whatever the catch-phrase is today), but also walk on eggshells so as not to be overly demanding/paternalistic (i.e. too "indian") at the same time. It's an idiotic system of high-expectations compounded with an elitist social class complex (which I've alluded to earlier in my posts).

Interracial relationships are completely fine with me, so long as people are honest with themselves and don't hold specific races (i.e. their own) to higher standards than others. This goes for both genders, but obviously I pay more attention to the one I'm interested in.

-Ice

Aren't guys in general supposed to not be demanding/paternalistic? I dunno, I guess thats me...


Anyways, Data mentioned the point of people marrying of another caste... I think that falls into the same category as interracial, because some of those aunties out there stick up their noses at someone of a differing caste. This casteism business has made its way over to N.America, and this is something which I don't like as well. Some kids are told to not be friends with other kids (by their parents) because of caste differences. But I never spoke with any girl in university about caste as I never thought it was important... I'd prefer to leave that kind of ideology in the past rather than putting up barriers for no good reason.

 

[ice_23]

Aren't guys in general supposed to not be demanding/paternalistic? I dunno, I guess thats me...

The idea was that things that otherwise wouldn't be considered "demanding/paternalistic" are so to certain people when they come from certain other people. I apologize if I wasn't clear.

-Ice

 

[Boinger]

i agree it is generally true that to indian girls indian guys are viewed as being more controlling / demanding than white guys... and there is some truth to this in the fact that indian guys do tend to be more orthodox and have double standards towards women... the thing i dont like about it is that i dont like when people or more specificly sasian girls is that they tend to judge before actually knowing the person based upon ethnicity which i think is total bull ... so i agree with you on the fact that s asian guys do have to be a bit more apparent in appearing not paternalistic / demanding so that s asian females willl agree to that... all in all its a messed up situation... and a lot of it has to do with the fact that most people in our age bracket growing up abroad and in a totally dif cultural enviornment a lot of people get confused... so they arent to sure of what they want.

 

[1hotaartichoke]

Sure, but it's this sort of anecdotal "evidence" which bolsters the ridiculous complex that some S. Asian girls have of S. Asian guys. Your story almost seems to be a subtle warning for S. Asian girls.

Sometimes it appears that, while the non S. Asian man can get away with simply being tenuously "accepting of [insert your S. Asian religion]" or sort of learning "indian songs/dance" to win over a S. Asian girl's heart, a S. Asian man is not only expected to know many of these things (or be pejoratively branded an "ABCD" or whatever the catch-phrase is today), but also walk on eggshells so as not to be overly demanding/paternalistic (i.e. too "indian") at the same time. It's an idiotic system of high-expectations compounded with an elitist social class complex (which I've alluded to earlier in my posts).

Interracial relationships are completely fine with me, so long as people are honest with themselves and don't hold specific races (i.e. their own) to higher standards than others. This goes for both genders, but obviously I pay more attention to the one I'm interested in.

-Ice

no way...no hidden message. i also know plenty of indian girls who married indian guys and couldn't be happier (ie. my sister). i know i would be very happy with an indian guy, but i know i could also be happy with the guy even if he isn't indian, just as long as he respects my culture.

i totally agree about not holding one race to higher standards. if you wouldn't want a certain behavior out of an indian guy (paternalistic), why would you put up with it from a white guy? i wouldn't.

and i know that my parents are fairly liberal and i do appreciate that. im really happy that their main concern for me is my happiness

oh, and since i was born and raised in a predominantley all white neighborhood, thats kind all my options were in high school (when i started dating the white guy). soi think a lot of it is what your are exposed to and such.

just my opinions though kids

 

[Boinger]

aarti couldnt agree more (btw ur name is aarti right?)

it is true

i find that kids that continuously flock around in only indian circles tend to only date indians etc. etc.

 

[ice_23]

no way...no hidden message. i also know plenty of indian girls who married indian guys and couldn't be happier (ie. my sister). i know i would be very happy with an indian guy, but i know i could also be happy with the guy even if he isn't indian, just as long as he respects my culture.

i totally agree about not holding one race to higher standards. if you wouldn't want a certain behavior out of an indian guy (paternalistic), why would you put up with it from a white guy? i wouldn't.

and i know that my parents are fairly liberal and i do appreciate that. im really happy that their main concern for me is my happiness

oh, and since i was born and raised in a predominantley all white neighborhood, thats kind all my options were in high school (when i started dating the white guy). soi think a lot of it is what your are exposed to and such.

just my opinions though kids

No worries; I didn't think the girls responding on this thread (you, sunny, etc) fell into the subset of individuals I was alluding to in my posts. You all seem fairly level-headed. Well somewhat anyway. You all are still indian girls...

-Ice

P.S. This is not meant to divert the attention of this now incredibly drawn out and tiresome thread (of which I am partly to blame), but Sunny, the raptors just screwed themselves in the NBA draft with Villanueva. Wtf?

 

[sunny123]

No worries; I didn't think the girls responding on this thread (you, sunny, etc) fell into the subset of individuals I was alluding to in my posts. You all seem fairly level-headed. Well somewhat anyway. You all are still indian girls...

-Ice

P.S. This is not meant to divert the attention of this now incredibly drawn out and tiresome thread (of which I am partly to blame), but Sunny, the raptors just screwed themselves in the NBA draft with Villanueva. Wtf?

Don't even mention it to me dude.... we got a Whoopi Goldberg wannabe (CV shaves his eyebrows hehehe) and a Billy Graham devotee (Joey reads the bible in his spare time, and NEVER bothered showing up for the draft!)... and some croatian dude who drives a "slow-car"....

We have officially become the next Atlanta Hawks.

 

[Pakorah]

hiya aarti welcome back =)

im new! =P

Hello aarti is that your name?
I'm new!
Sex is like air. It isn't important unless you're not getting any.

Here is a line boingy i will give you to use on aarti. "Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer." good luck

 

[saffronrain]

Oh dear...

sarcasm is the bane of my existence.

 

[sunny123]

Oh dear...

sarcasm is the bane of my existence.

I would've imagined that anything fried would be the bane of anyone's existence.

 

[fido!]

here we go again!!!!!!whatz ur problem?

Hello aarti is that your name?
I'm new!
Sex is like air. It isn't important unless you're not getting any.

Here is a line boingy i will give you to use on aarti. "Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer." good luck

 

[saffronrain]

SHUT THE F*** UP!! Every single thread turns into making fun of somebody or something to that extent. This is getting ridiculous. SDN officially SUCKS. I'm out. Hopefully forever.

 

[1hotaartichoke]

aarti couldnt agree more (btw ur name is aarti right?)

it is true

i find that kids that continuously flock around in only indian circles tend to only date indians etc. etc.

yeah, my name is aarti

 

[data]

SHUT THE F*** UP!! Every single thread turns into making fun of somebody or something to that extent. This is getting ridiculous. SDN officially SUCKS. I'm out. Hopefully forever.

this is getting tiring. You and your mood swings.

 

[niko327]

THE BHAVAGAD GITA? What a load of crap? Does anybody read that garbage?

Hinduism is a contemptible morass of idolatry, wickedness and demon-worship.

India is an uncleansed CESSPOOL of IDOLATRY, MURDER, ROBBERY, SLAVE-TRAFFICKING and other DESPICABLE ACTS.

The politicians are corrupt and venal and the ORDINARY CITIZENRY use ASTRONOMY for important decision-making....

There's no infrastructure to speak of, even now, at the height of the technological boom.

Hi,

I'm a failed Radiology candidate now forced to decide between Psych and Occupational MEdicine.
I figure that salary for the 2 fields is about the same.

For me, lifestyle, having a low-key, low-stress job and good working hrs are all pretty critical.

I also want to be able to pick where I can set up shop----Las Vegas, Fort Lauderdale, Austin, Houston, Honolulu, and Hilo are all near the top of my list....

Will Psych afford me the ability to pick where I can go?

Will Occupational Medicine?

Uh yeah, I think this explains alot. Strong Work rrreagan.

 

[Ninjzz]

I'm a white Presbyterian and proud of it.....

One of my goals in life is proselytizing unbelieving Hindoos like yourself.

Good luck with all ... that.

 

[Ninjzz]

Alas, I should read the entire thread before posting. The troll, it seems, has left the building.

 

[DrGarfield]

well, i came in late in this thread but now i guess i will point out somethings i think!

- it is proven fact that one likes one's life partner to be more or less resembling oneself- this is because of the psychology of reproduction; that one wishes one's offspring to be more like oneself, and to achieve that, the other half involved in the reproduction too has to be more or less like oneself!

-interracial marriage is nothing to be sceptical about, if it is a production of two mature minds and hearts deciding to let it be that way, but i guess a lot of these couples you see in the western countries is more for Experimenting purpose than serious relationships. (No offence).

-someone said (And this is not what I believe myself) "Trend to get married strictly in one's small caste circle is an extension of incest"

going with that, trend to get married to someone from a completely different race can be called an extension of beastiality!

 

[Boinger]

well, i came in late in this thread but now i guess i will point out somethings i think!

- it is proven fact that one likes one's life partner to be more or less resembling oneself- this is because of the psychology of reproduction; that one wishes one's offspring to be more like oneself, and to achieve that, the other half involved in the reproduction too has to be more or less like oneself!

-interracial marriage is nothing to be sceptical about, if it is a production of two mature minds and hearts deciding to let it be that way, but i guess a lot of these couples you see in the western countries is more for Experimenting purpose than serious relationships. (No offence).

-someone said (And this is not what I believe myself) "Trend to get married strictly in one's small caste circle is an extension of incest"

going with that, trend to get married to someone from a completely different race can be called an extension of beastiality!

QFT!!

love the beastiality bit =)

 

[mizzoudude]

My parents moved to England and Canada right after I was born in India. My parents raised me so that I could speak the language, raised me as a hindu, etc. We even visited (and stayed for 2 years..when I went to school there) India every 3-4 years or so. After living in India for 2 years and moving to the US for 6th grade, I had quite the mixture of cultures. I stood out quite a bit as I wore matching "outfits" to school, spelled color as "colour", and even asked someone for a "rubber" (meaning eraser) in class. Through the years, I have acclimated and transitioned western culture into my life. All my friends except for a few are non-indian...not by choice. I would have no problem having an Indian friend, but just don't have many.

I listen to both Indian (tamil) music and "American" music such as Bob Dylan, Hank Williams Jr., some independant hip hop, trip hop, etc. My mixed culture allows me to listen to and appreciate lots of things. When I put on a piece of Indian music for my non-indian friends, they just can't appreciate it as much as I can. This is what culture is defined to be in my opinion (not music, but the appreciation of the arts and way of life). It makes me appreciate my multicultural upbringing

I am quite the confused stage of my life right now. I did not get into any medical schools and right now I am thinking about taking a year off and perhaps working, making some money, taking time to think, etc. During my last year in college, I started dating this white girl who I loved very much. We could relate to each other, spent a lot of time with each other, and I kept falling for her harder and harder. I decided to come do a masters in New Orleans while she decided to go to California for school. It was a huge heartbreak for both of us (and I am still thinking about screwing the masters and moving to cali to take a year off--not to try and get back with her). She is one of my best friends and I can always call her up to talk about anything.

However, if I EVER mention this fact to my parents, they would absolutely go ballistic on me. They do not understand how I could ever do something like that. But as I grow and have time to think, I can understand where they are coming from. When they grew up, they were absolutely close to family and friends. That is all that they needed. In America, kids try to be independent and move away for college, jobs, etc. at an early age. And since it is human nature to want love and trust, they start dating and having relationships (every human needs love and trust to some extent). In India (the south and my family anyway) family is everything. Once education has been completed, the family looks for a mate that will be compatible to the person and the family itself (arranged marriage).

So I can see how it hard for my parents to understand that I have developed just as much trust in a girl as I have in them (people who have raised me for 21 years). There is also an added external factor that Indian people face (even more so in America). What do they say about their kids to their peers? An American mother (my gf's mom for example) would be proud that her daughter was dating a nice young man with good morals and values and that he had some ambition. She would boast to her friends/peers that her daughter had such a nice bf. However, I could never see my parents telling their friends that their son was dating a nice white girl with good morals and values.

So to summarize, right and wrong is fairly relative. Right and wrong is defined by culture. It is ok for many to have premarital sex in western culture, but in Indian culture it is a big no no. I am having a hard time deciding which side of the spectrum I lie on as I am a good mix. Being in the middle (as much of our generation is) is very difficult. Though one is trying to please the parents by preserving culture, he/she is also trying to assimilate into the culture that they live in.

I am not sure what I am going to do, but I am definately not going to get married for another ~10 years (no way before 28). Who knows...maybe I will find some "american", african american, indian, chinese, european or whatever chick and fall for her. It will come down to pleasing myself and/or pleasing my parents. I want to be happy in life, but my happiness is also based on my parents being happy. It is a tough situation. But overall, when it comes to love and relationships...I think love transcends all....if you really love the person you are with, others will/should respect that...and love is all that really matters. Hopefully your conservative parents will realize that you are happy with him/her and will be happy for you.

Good luck to all...and constructively critique my analysis. Thanks for reading.

 

[Angel M]

whoa that was long!
so weird though ive come onto this thread and i had the same conversation with someone today
man ive been thinking too much today
i'll come back later and post something constructive

 

[Boinger]

very well thought out post mizzo dude

well in answer to that .... i dont think you have to do anything i think that the parents should adjust to the new society they chose to live in... if you want your kid to preserve the ways of the past culture and past society that you used to live in but moved away from ... that is asking to much as you will always be an outsider... btu there has to be a middle ground somewhere and thats what parents need to find...

but indian parents have a tendency to just remain extremely stubborn and not flex from their opinions (mainly because the indian circle will judge them differnetly) that is one of the main things i find annoying about indian culture ... everyone is extremely hypocritical / judgemental... to a degree that is beyond comprehension by me...

 

[saffronrain]

wow that was a great post mizzodude! thanks for sharing your thoughts.