hating your roommate

[WatchMeRise]

I hope I never have to find myself saying I hate my roommate.
During the housing process, most colleges allow you to take a personality quiz of some sort in order to better match you to someone right?

Should I put things down which aren't true about me so I can match with the "ideal" roommate? (i.e someone who studies constantly)

I like loud music, but I'm afraid if I match with someone that also does they might be a party freak or someone who would bother the heck out of me.

Any bad roommate stories?

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[MilkmanAl]

During the housing process, most colleges allow you to take a personality quiz of some sort in order to better match you to someone right?

I've never heard of that, but that doesn't mean there aren't some schools that do it. It'd just probably be an exception to the rule. All schools I'm aware of just stick you with someone, and it's up to you to sink or swim. You can move out and change rooms if spots open up, but you'll be rolling the dice again.

Personally, I would've been bored to tears if my roommate was an incessant studier. Things could've been better - especially during my second year - but I'd much rather have someone interesting than a bookworm.

 

[ksmi117]

I hope I never have to find myself saying I hate my roommate.
During the housing process, most colleges allow you to take a personality quiz of some sort in order to better match you to someone right?

Should I put things down which aren't true about me so I can match with the "ideal" roommate? (i.e someone who studies constantly)

I like loud music, but I'm afraid if I match with someone that also does they might be a party freak or someone who would bother the heck out of me.

Any bad roommate stories?

Some schools offer them, some don't. I wouldn't lie on the survey, because then your roommate won't like your tendencies. I think that no matter who you get put with you can find a way to work with it. If it is absolutely unbearable, go ask for a reassignment. If your new roomie is loud and always has people over, go to the library or the lobby of your residential hall to study. I think you'll be surprised how easy it is to work it out. Personally, I knew my roommate before, but we still had to set down ground rules. That's really the best thing you can do, just make agreements - no friends after 3, no eating my food, etc.

 

[DrMattOglesby]

first off, i think it's pretty comical how many people can read a personality test and know how to answer to produce certain results. Im guilty of doing this from time to time as well. And I don't blame you for considering it if you think it will work in your favor towards the selection of a roommate you deem possesses a favorable disposition.

In my own history of roommates; whenever I moved somewhere new, I would lease out a short term contract and establish myself in that environment. In this short time, I would hope to engage myself in hobbies and activities where I might new friends. By the time my contract for my apartment was up, I would have found a few potential buddies that were down to get a new place with me. This prevented me from bunking up with strangers straight from the get-go, and it allowed me to know ahead of time what I was getting myself into.

However, doing this requires some independent efforts unaffiliated with your school, so you'll most likely be learning how to do many things (such as signing a lease) for your first time. For me though, it was worth it. I always had a say about the person(s) with whom I shared my living quarters and that helped me live a bit more stress-free.

Keep in mind though, this advice comes from my personal experiences. Many others don't take the route I opted for, and they have done just fine. There are only a small handful of on-campus students I remember who never got along with their roomies.

 

[WatchMeRise]

If you make friends who constantly study, don't you tend to have the same habits? Doesn't this work similarly for a roommate?

I also need my space. When you live with a roommate do you have much privacy at all? Seems like I won't be getting any

 

[LadyJane]

To the OP, your profile says you're pre-med.. are you already in college or what?

I had quite a few bad room mates during college. What I've learned is that you have to be straightforward from day zero. Before you guys even move in together, you should talk about what you expect in each other as room mates. Living in a dorm, what I found I needed was quiet at bed time. That means no guests, no phone calls, no TV. Figure out what you need in a room mate and be a jerk if you have to about getting it. Life is miserable w/ a disrespectful room mate!

ksmi is right about studying. Don't ever plan to study in your room; I've found that it never works out. Unless you know your roomie's schedule and you know they'll be gone for a few hours.

Also, if they give you a survey, don't lie. If you like loud music but don't want a room mate who does as well, then use headphones. But, if you do get a survey, it will probably ask things like do you smoke, how neat are you, how do you feel about sharing, when do you go to bed. It's not really a personality survey per se, it's more of a habits survey.

I hope it works out for you on the first try! Good luck!

 

[WatchMeRise]

To the OP, your profile says you're pre-med.. are you already in college or what?

I had quite a few bad room mates during college. What I've learned is that you have to be straightforward from day zero. Before you guys even move in together, you should talk about what you expect in each other as room mates. Living in a dorm, what I found I needed was quiet at bed time. That means no guests, no phone calls, no TV. Figure out what you need in a room mate and be a jerk if you have to about getting it. Life is miserable w/ a disrespectful room mate!

ksmi is right about studying. Don't ever plan to study in your room; I've found that it never works out. Unless you know your roomie's schedule and you know they'll be gone for a few hours.

Also, if they give you a survey, don't lie. If you like loud music but don't want a room mate who does as well, then use headphones. But, if you do get a survey, it will probably ask things like do you smoke, how neat are you, how do you feel about sharing, when do you go to bed. It's not really a personality survey per se, it's more of a habits survey.

I hope it works out for you on the first try! Good luck!

I'm going to college this fall.

Good advice. Thanks for the feedback guys. I just don't want to come off as a stickler. It does seem like the smarter thing to do.
What about privacy wise? How is it to have a roommate? I value my privacy so much that I was thinking of getting a room by myself... which is essentially more expensive. Is it worth it?

 

[DrMattOglesby]

...I also need my space. When you live with a roommate do you have much privacy at all? Seems like I won't be getting any

I completely feel you on this issue. Privacy is a must just for a person to unwind and de-stress. Yet keep in mind, you will be living the life of a premed student. As such, I imagine a good chunk of your time is going to be spent studying in libraries, volunteering in organizations, and (hopefully) getting much needed physical exercise at the gym when you have free time. This doesn't even take into consideration the potential of having to work a part-time job.
So while you may be concerned about your privacy--I wouldn't place too much emphasis on it as you may run into a situation where you don't even have enough time to allot yourself some "private, alone time" every day.

again, take with a grain a salt.

 

[WatchMeRise]

Good point. haha
Grain of salt accepted.

Great insights. Definitely more excited about the years to come
I'm just hoping i'm not becoming overly ambitious about this and asking random questions which are invalid and unrequired. Maybe I just need to go with the flow?

I wonder how many "pre-med" kids like me go through their undergrad years, only to drop their dream of medicine?

Also, unrelated to the topic. I apologize.

 

[DrMattOglesby]

Maybe I just need to go with the flow?

"be like water, my friend"
--bruce lee

I wonder how many "pre-med" kids like me go through their undergrad years, only to drop their dream of medicine?

TONS.
when I took my first physics class (my first premed course), more than half of the students in there were premed. I don't think anyone aside from myself went all the way through with it. And a joke I heard somewhere on SDN:
Teacher says to the class: "how many of you in here are premed?"
**about 50% of the class raises their hand**
Teacher says, "congratulations, based on statistics, 98% of you are simply majoring in 'pre-unemployed'. "

 

[WatchMeRise]

haha, i like that joke
I wonder if we can make a SDN statistic. If it could show how many SDN members who apply for medical school (either M.D, D.O) actually make it.

What i'm getting at here is... are the acceptance rates directly proportional to the type of students who take interest in learning insights into the medical path at another level? (i.e spending time on SDN, ect)

Or, are we just losers who waste our time on here when we should be studying?
Are we just mindless drones who speak of getting to medical school but are futile in actually becoming accepted?

 

[niranjan162]

Dont lie on the roommate thing, it will just create problems later on. My freshman year roommate just didnt fill his out or put random stuff down and we hated each other.

 

[DrMattOglesby]

I wonder if we can make a SDN statistic. If it could show how many SDN members who apply for medical school (either M.D, D.O) actually make it.

What i'm getting at here is... are the acceptance rates directly proportional to the type of students who take interest in learning insights into the medical path at another level? (i.e spending time on SDN, ect)

Or, are we just losers who waste our time on here when we should be studying?
Are we just mindless drones who speak of getting to medical school but are futile in actually becoming accepted?

certainly, using SDN isn't indicative of being a causal agent of admission into medical school. And im sure you're also very aware of the fact that a larger percentage of those persons who use this website seem a bit more informed about the application process than those who don't.

Keep in mind, not everybody posts here either. By a simple google search of med school applications--you will receive numerous links to SDN and if one was persistent enough in their research, im sure they would have come across these forums without too much effort. Just realize that when you "post all day long ignoring your studies," you're actually communicating with a large group of people who have been through the process you're about to go through and are capable of offering helpful advice. This advice becomes especially helpful if it is centered on a query posted by yourself.

However, many a times, you will be relegated to utilize the search function (and for good reason, many questions have been answered ad nauseum) to figure things out. Just try to think of this website for what it is; an online community of students and doctors. Make sure you put in the necessary studying time and you'll do just fine.

 

[tennisball80]

I hope I never have to find myself saying I hate my roommate.
During the housing process, most colleges allow you to take a personality quiz of some sort in order to better match you to someone right?

Should I put things down which aren't true about me so I can match with the "ideal" roommate? (i.e someone who studies constantly)

I like loud music, but I'm afraid if I match with someone that also does they might be a party freak or someone who would bother the heck out of me.

Any bad roommate stories?

Choosing a bad roommate can cause a fight. A fight can sometimes cause a death. The good thing to do is to purchase a good life insurance.

Your life is never guaranteed .

 

[WatchMeRise]

Dont lie on the roommate thing, it will just create problems later on. My freshman year roommate just didnt fill his out or put random stuff down and we hated each other.

Haha see this is what i'm going to try and avoid. I don't need to get into constant fights with my roommate... it won't bode well.

edit: as tennis has previously joked about. LOL

 

[WatchMeRise]

certainly, using SDN isn't indicative of being a causal agent of admission into medical school. And im sure you're also very aware of the fact that a larger percentage of those persons who use this website seem a bit more informed about the application process than those who don't.

Keep in mind, not everybody posts here either. By a simple google search of med school applications--you will receive numerous links to SDN and if one was persistent enough in their research, im sure they would have come across these forums without too much effort. Just realize that when you "post all day long ignoring your studies," you're actually communicating with a large group of people who have been through the process you're about to go through and are capable of offering helpful advice. This advice becomes especially helpful if it is centered on a query posted by yourself.

However, many a times, you will be relegated to utilize the search function (and for good reason, many questions have been answered ad nauseum) to figure things out. Just try to think of this website for what it is; an online community of students and doctors. Make sure you put in the necessary studying time and you'll do just fine.

I agree. Couldn't have been said better.
I still want to see some stats lol.

 

[Maygyver]

Hey, I would not advise living on your own. Rooming with people not only saves you money, but teaches you coping and social skills. I had 3 other roomates so I pretty much had NO privacy, but you make do with what you have; it's all part of maturing as a person. Also, remember to be respectful of others, you mentioned you like to play loud music but don't want a roommate that parties. If I were you, I wouldn't play loud music while your roommate is in the room because it might end up making him mad and causing him to not respect you if you ever want the room quiet. I would suggest getting some nice headphones to listen to music if you like it that loud.

 

[Bacchus]

My college did not use a personality survey. Their reasoning, which I now accept, is people's parents will fill them out. Those on this site, who are actively involved in their education, probably wouldn't be passive and would fill the survey out by themselves, but I'm sure it happens. And, you know, parents think their children our angels.

What we did have was a roommate switch day halfway through the semester. It was more of a pain than anything and few people used it. You had to find someone to switch with you and then make sure the other person was willing. You then had to move your stuff as well from residency hall to residence hall.

My best advice is try to stick it out.

 

[MilkmanAl]

My best advice is try to stick it out.

Agreed. Having a close-quarters is just part of the college experience, and it helps you grow socially, as was noted. To further dismiss the personality thing, there's no way those could possibly account for everything. People most likely won't include their annoying tendencies and quirks, so you really have no way of assessing who you're going to be rooming with. Just make the best of whatever you get.

 

[ImNotBritish]

I'm afraid I've got to go against the grain on this one. I was completely honest in the answers on my housing questionaire. I was pretty messy at home, thought I listened to loud music, and said that I went to bed late (which was anything past 10:00 according to my survey). I wanted to be honest to avoid what above posters are warning about. I didn't want to lie and end up with a perfect roommate that hated me.

It was an absolute trainwreck. My messiness disappeared when our door was propped open all the time, so my clothes ended up neatly put away. My roommate, however, was not swayed by this, and her idea of "messiness" included leaving used condoms on her nightstand, and half eaten chicken sitting out for literally days on end. She enjoyed metal music, and said she couldn't fall asleep without it blaring. She would also bring 5-6 friends over at all hours. There was one time, I kid you not, when I woke up at 4:00 to find two guys sitting on my bed, with me asleep in it, and a bunch of people in the room, none of them being my roommate.

Really, I think the best survey would consist of one question: Are you considerate? There will be roommates that love to study and ones that blare Asian pop music. As long as they are considerate to one another, you can make it work, but a lack of respect and even a roommate with identical answers on their survey to yours can be a nightmare.

 

[Darklord]

Relevant thread,

I'm going to be starting in the Fall as well, but will be living in a Biology- Pre-Pharm LLC across from the Honors LLC.

Hopefully, I will be living with and will be around decent people (I can only hope).

I'mnotBritish's post is scary and I think it is quite true. I'm hoping for a strict lifestyle: no sex, no alcohol (never), no drugs, and as much studying as possible! No grades = no professional school = no scholarships = no future and failure.

I like the library currently and spend all day in it. I also want to minimize my time in my dorm. I mean it's so small anyway...

 

[Maygyver]

Relevant thread,

I'm going to be starting in the Fall as well, but will be living in a Biology- Pre-Pharm LLC across from the Honors LLC.

Hopefully, I will be living with and will be around decent people (I can only hope).

I'mnotBritish's post is scary and I think it is quite true. I'm hoping for a strict lifestyle: no sex, no alcohol (never), no drugs, and as much studying as possible! No grades = no professional school = no scholarships = no future and failure.

I like the library currently and spend all day in it. I also want to minimize my time in my dorm. I mean it's so small anyway...

Grades are very important for professional school, but so are social skills. Make sure you are at least open minded about the college experience.

 

[URHere]

My first college roommate was a HUGE slob, and she and I clashed heads often over sleep schedules (I would wake up for crew at 5am, usually about 10 minutes after she stumbled in our front door and passed out). Ironically, my school actually did attempt to match students based on interests. Each student was asked about their living preferances (co-ed hall, quiet study, etc) and his or her intended major. Unfortunately, I ended up on the pre-med floor despite having absolutely zero interest in medicine at the time.

Interestingly, over half of the original "premeds" and "engineers" who populated that hall ended up as religion or psychology majors (not that I am disparaging those majors). I suppose they either found something they liked better or freshmen bio and chem interfered too much with their drinking patterns for them to stay afloat.

Honestly though, after first year, you can apply for a single or choose a roommate, and if you pick someone you know you can live with, there's nothing to worry about. Most schools also allow room switches if assigned roommates clash too severely.

 

[LadyJane]

What about privacy wise? How is it to have a roommate? I was thinking of getting a room by myself

You'll live w/ another person (and you might even get tripled at first) in a small box. You have no privacy unless they go home for the weekend. I know of very very few people who's first room mate was someone they liked, so if you're really worried about it, see if your school offers on campus apartments. My school has 2 person apartments w/ 2 bedrooms. They are more expensive, but if you can afford it, and you really want at least your own bedroom, then I'd say go for it.

On the other hand, jumping into the unknown can make for some interesting stories. I feel, in a way, less sheltered because I have had so many weird, stinky, disrespectful, loud, messy, and annoying room mates. And now I have some funny stories to tell. I have a story just like imnotbritish. I had bronchitis during sophomore year. My room mate was always really loud, like slamming drawers and talking on the phone at night time when I was trying to sleep. Well, when I was diagnosed w/ bronchitis, I taped a note to the TV saying to please be quiet because I was really sick and needed to sleep. Well, she was for a while, but on the second night, she invited two of her guy friends over after they had been out drinking. I was dead asleep and woke up around 3am w/ the two guys sitting on my bed. They were all so drunk that my room mate let the one kid punt her broken laptop into our door. Needless to say, glass from the screen had shattered all over our floor. And do you think she cleaned it up??.... Nope.

 

[ImNotBritish]

I couldn't help myself. Per my post above, I ended up with a blue-orange-red roommate.

 

[WatchMeRise]

lmao, that graph is great.
i think ill roll the dice and hope for a "new best friend forever"

edit: i think i can settle with a "crazy ass bitch"

 

[Darklord]

Grades are very important for professional school, but so are social skills. Make sure you are at least open minded about the college experience.

I'm very sociable in class and with my study group. College is gonna rule (if I get a decent room mate).

I've seen some of the dorms and my local university (which are identical to the ones I'll be living on at the the university I'll be going to, and well... the students weren't very clean )

I hope I get a clean room mate.

 

[WatchMeRise]

I'm very sociable in class and with my study group. College is gonna rule (if I get a decent room mate).

I've seen some of the dorms and my local university (which are identical to the ones I'll be living on at the the university I'll be going to, and well... the students weren't very clean )

I hope I get a clean room mate.

Seriously! I've noticed that every dorm I've ever visited has been filthy. I don't want to be a crazy maid or anything, but I can't stand it if there are clutters of crap everywhere.

 

[Gallix23]

Those room mate things don't always work. My girlfriend's sister did one twice, and both times she was stuck with an awful room mate. However, these things can always be dealt with during the year, and if you make good friend during school, you can opt to room with that person at the next opportunity. However, she may have just had bad luck, and the quiz thing might work perfect for you =)

 

[Algophiliac]

I think the only requirement I'd have of any roommate is for them to be CHILL. If they can understand and respect my boundaries, I will easily be able to do the same for them. The crazy, neat-freak *****s I've lived with for my entire life were my parents...and I don't need that again. Hopefully I'll get lucky and end up with an easy-going, laidback, overall nice guy.

Plus, I'm under the impression that most undergrads don't really spend that many hours per week in their room, aside from just sleeping. Is this actually the case?

 

[LadyJane]

edit: i think i can settle with a "crazy ass bitch"

I knew a girl w/ a crazy ass bitch for a room mate who poured clorox on her laundry pile. haha, you better watch yourself!

 

[WatchMeRise]

What happens when your roommate wants to get intimate with his/her partner?
You're expected to just... leave?

Is this a mutual understanding sort of thing (when they both walk into the room while in heavy kissing), or do you ask your roommate for permission? What if I say no? lol

 

[tennisball80]

Curiously, why don't you get a private room ?

I am planning to get a private room and share the kitchen with three other people.

 

[bkz]

I am planning to get a private room and share the kitchen with three other people.

If your school has this option it's the best IMO. With suitemates you won't be isolated but if you need to close the door and catch some zzzs it won't be an impossible task.

Living with roommates can be difficult period. The good news is that freshmen year in the dorms helps you learn how to live with roommates

To all the pre-med graduating seniors in here I would STRONGLY caution against describing yourself as "chill" as you're more likely to end up with crazy roommates...it's far easier to describe yourself as a neat freak, and adapt to your roommate's habits

Living in filth (my pet peeve was people who left half eaten food laying around-->bugs) is far worse than the pressure to keep everything looking perfect
There will ALWAYS be a frat party going on if you want to stay up late and be loud...being able to come home to a quiet house when you want to sleep is an invaluble thing

you've been warned

 

[tennisball80]

I assume roommate is someone who sleeps about 10 steps away from you in the same room.

What should I do if my roommate wants to masturbate ?

P.S Living with someone in the same room needs a great amount of patience.

 

[Bacchus]

You'll learn quickly the signs. We had a rubberband rule. If there is a rubberband on the door handle come back later. Also, most college students put whiteboards on their doors. Messages can be written to not be obvious, but alert your roommate of anything going on.

 

[Bacchus]

I'll share my roommate experience with you guys.

Our school is known for putting people into triples, and sometimes converted quads. I was placed in a triple freshman year. I didn't talk to my roommates a lot for the first few weeks but opened up after that. It turned out one was a compulsive self-pleasurer...awkward. The other kid, I've lived with him since freshman year and I'm a senior right now. We'll be friends for the rest of life, I'm sure. So, don't be scared about roommates until you have reason to be. You don't know how great some of them can be.

 

[WatchMeRise]

I assume roommate is someone who sleeps about 10 steps away from you in the same room.

What should I do if my roommate wants to masturbate ?

P.S Living with someone in the same room needs a great amount of patience.

I'm not sure if tennis is being serious, but these things come up don't they?
I'm also concerned with stealing...
What if I leave to go study, and my roommate decides to rummage through my stuff and steal something? I'm obviously not going to find out, based on the multitude of things I am probably going to have.

Was this an issue for anyone? Or do most people in college have respect for other people's belongings?

 

[bananaface]

Roommates are unlikely to steal nice stuff because they can't take it too far and they have to live with you for the rest of the year. I had my stuff rummaged through by a roommate who went stalker-ish soon after. If it's uncomfortable for any reason, you can generally request to move to another dorm room if you are on campus. If you are off campus, it's more of a pain to get out.

One of my friends had a roommate who brought her b/f back to the room and engaged in "activities" with him when she thought my friend was asleep. She was sometimes, but she was also a light sleeper and would wake up but pretend to still be asleep so that she didn't have to confront her roommate. Sometimes you have to stand up for yourself and confront a roommate if they put you in a situation that is inappropriate. If they want to engage in personal activities, either alone or with their b/f or g/f, they need to find someplace that isn't a common area to do it or do it when you aren't there. It seems like a pretty obvious answer, but alot of times when people get hit with that stuff the first time, they don't know how to deal.

 

[bkz]

Yeah the crazy klepto types are thankfully few and far between, and I don't want anyone to go to college being overly suspicious of their roommates. However I still don't think it's wise to leave valuable things lying around. If you have nice jewelry etc your dorm might not be the best place to store it, especially if you guys have people over a lot. /$.02

 

[WatchMeRise]

So where do you keep that kind of stuff?
I was thinking about getting a large travel bag (like the ones you use for airplane luggage) and then buying a combination lock to put on it. Just so I can put valuable stuff in it. I'll just keep it in the closet or under my bed or something. Good idea, or over the top?

 

[WatchMeRise]

Can you normally bring people into your dorm to sleep with? (not sexually)
For example, if it's okay with your roommate, can you bring your friend, or girlfriend to sleep on your bed? Is that against the rules?

 

[bkz]

So where do you keep that kind of stuff?
I was thinking about getting a large travel bag (like the ones you use for airplane luggage) and then buying a combination lock to put on it. Just so I can put valuable stuff in it. I'll just keep it in the closet or under my bed or something. Good idea, or over the top?

no that is really weird.
I hope I didn't give you the wrong idea about that.

There is no need to be paranoid about your roommates stealing stuff. However if you have a nice jewelry collection or something like that leave it at home.

 

[broken tibula]

Can you normally bring people into your dorm to sleep with? (not sexually)
For example, if it's okay with your roommate, can you bring your friend, or girlfriend to sleep on your bed? Is that against the rules?

As far as I know, it's not against the rules, but you should definitely check with your roommate first. I've heard of a lot of people that essentially live with their SO and spend most nights in their dorm.

 

[Bacchus]

Each school will have visitation policies in place for visitors and current students. As an idea:

Outside visitors had to be signed in at all times and leave by 2 on weeknights. If it was Fri or Sat night those visitors could be signed in. They have to leave proper identification at the front desk.

Students (even if commuters) could stay over any night but if they did not belong in the hall (lived there) and were a commuter must be signed in.

 

[Depakote]

Can you normally bring people into your dorm to sleep with? (not sexually)
For example, if it's okay with your roommate, can you bring your friend, or girlfriend to sleep on your bed? Is that against the rules?

The rules for this probably vary from school to school and even dorm to dorm.

I know some schools have co-ed floors and I can even think of one school that have co-ed rooms. But you'll come across schools that have strict unisex divisions and no-boys/no-girls allowed policies for their dorms.

Also, there's a huge roommate consideration issue. That's an awkward position to put them in.

 

[bananaface]

So where do you keep that kind of stuff?
I was thinking about getting a large travel bag (like the ones you use for airplane luggage) and then buying a combination lock to put on it. Just so I can put valuable stuff in it. I'll just keep it in the closet or under my bed or something. Good idea, or over the top?

If you have expensive jewelery in the dorm, get a locking safe. I have a fireproof one the size of a briefcase that is portable. It has both jewelery and paperwork in it that I wouldn't want damaged or stolen. Your roommate shouldn't be insulted, if they even notice that you have it. Sometimes maintenance people are in there or random people end up in your room when you aren't there. And, not everyone locks the door when they leave the room.

 

[Maygyver]

A lot of these questions you are just going to have to go with the flow. Number of roommates, rules, etc will all change depending on the university and even dorm. Your RA will explain everything clearly to you as far as where to keep things, and you will probably make a roommate contract to discuss sensitive issues. The best thing you can do for yourself is to stop worrying about hypotheticals. You will be fine.

 

[LadyJane]

To the OP, what kind of school are you going to? Public, private, religious??

In my experience, private schools are somewhat lax w/ rules; ie no guest policies, no co-ed policies, etc.

Public schools are little bit more strict but rules will vary. I went to a state school that had a male wing and a female wing in each dorm. You were allowed to visit each wing, but only during certain hours. They also had very strict front desk rules; you had to show them your ID to get in, you had to sign all guests in w/ their ID (even if they were a student there), you could only use the front door entrance and you had a curfew of 2am or you'd get locked out. Then, I transferred to another state school that had co-ed floors, no front desk bull crap, no curfew, no guest rules.

Religious schools will obviously be very strict w/ co-ed and guest policies.

My best advice to you is still what I said before; your school will send you your room mate's contact info so talk to them a lot over the summer and be extremely straightforward about what you expect of them as a room mate. If you guys can tell from the start that it won't work out, you can probably get your room mate switched before you even start. Try to find some people on facebook also going to your school and see if you can find someone compatible and try to request them as a room mate.

On the other hand, you might find that they will be a great room mate; clean, quiet, and respectful (IMO that's a great room mate) and your worries can be quelled.

About your other worries (stealing and sex)... I have had 13 room mates over my time in undergrad, 7 of which were random assignments. I never had problems w/ theft (that I know of!). Don't get a big suitcase, that is insulting because you won't really be able to be discreet about it. What bananaface said is very good advice about getting a small fireproof safe. But don't show it to your room mate. haha if I ever had a room mate w/ one of those, I would be insulted. But, if you get one and your roomie happens across it, explain what it's for; that it's fire proof and it's for protection against other random ppl that might come in the room.

If you're already in the room and your roomie wants alone time, either w/ themself or SO, they should ask you politely to leave for a while. You have every right to say no if you want. and so what, they'll just be mad at you for a while, and if they're mature, they'll get over it. If THEY are already in the room and you want to enter, it would be polite for them to quickly finish up so that you can come in. Or at least pause and cover up for a moment so that you can drop off or pick up whatever you need to go somewhere for a while. If my room mate had their bf sleeping over, before I went to sleep, I would say something like, "I better not wake up tonight to strange bodily noises, k love you good night," so that it's kind of funny but serious too, and it gets the point across.

Good luck! I hope you're in the very small slice of the pie that gets a "normal human" like bacchus did!

 

[Gwsmyda]

If you still have time and/or haven't submitted your housing preferences, check to see if your incoming class has a Facebook group. I found my future roommate for next year (my freshman year) on facebook, met up an accepted students day at the university, and we requested each other on the housing form. You can obviously get to know someone much better on Facebook than a quick, general survey will tell about them.