Title says it all - I hate dental school.
I'm currently finishing up D1 and can't help but constantly think about how much I hate dental school and most of dentistry in general, which is unfortunate because i had so much love for it. I grew up wanting to be a dentist and always wanted to do public health, community-oriented dentistry. Fast forward to my gap year and I begin shadowing an OMFS to explore my research interests in cancer and become enamored with the specialty. I came into dental school figuring OMFS would be the way I could bridge cancer and dentistry together. I've been studying for the CBSE and school is going dandy and my grades are fine as of now. Studying for the CBSE has most definitely made me realize that I want to pursue a career in surgery, albeit not necessarily OMFS. I've made my way into the OR with non-OMFS surgeons and find myself so attracted to the work and lifestyle that comes with doing academic oncologic surgery. The thought always creeps into my mind about what if I don't make it into OMFS and I end up in a career I don't want to be in. I hate to sound like a spoiled millennial but unfortunately that's what I feel like right now with my worst outcome being a dentist living a great life and doing largely fulfilling work.
I've contemplated dropping out of dental school several times but have never had the guts to pull the trigger. To complicate, I'm on an 4-year HPSP contract and currently attending a school that costs way too much for the quality of education that we receive. I know if I drop out, I'll owe the military about 120k that I'd have to pay back immediately which I have no way to pay back except to work or beg my family for money which I would never do (hence why I did HPSP). Despite this huge financial gunshot i'd be taking to the head if i were to drop out, i still have contemplated dropping and applying to medical school, but that would put me at a 2-3 year turnaround before starting medical school though time doesn't necessarily matter to me as I'm only 22. What concerned me is that should I drop out, I'd have to do a masters and/or postbacc to pull up my undergrad GPA to have a chance at an MD/DO program which would cost me probably another 30-50k (applied to DS with a 3.4 and 24 DAT). And after all that, I still would have no guarantee of doing decent on the MCAT or getting into medical school.
I'm not sure what I wanted to accomplish in making this post but I just needed a forum to talk about this since it's been bothering me for 6+ months. Dental school has made me depressed, angry, suicidal, and every emotion in between except happy and my motivation is draining by the day. Some days I wonder how many more class IIs i can do before i chuck my my mannequin across the room, most days it feels like 1. Sometimes I wonder if I was just too young and naive when applying to dental school - I probably still am. I wonder if I was just too determined to become a dentist that I didn't see that my academic and research interests were pulling me towards medicine.
Tldr; I'm at a crossroads of financial purgatory and finishing a degree I probably never want to use again. Any insight, commentary, or messages telling me I'm stupid and should just suck it up and keep going would be appreciated.
