Getting married soon and not interested in sex at all. Help!

[dotdash]

This is a troll. And an especially egregious one.

Agreed.

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[chipmunk222]

deleted. Embarrassed about the TMI I just wrote.

 

[VikingLegacy]

baleeted

 

[Chanterelle]

Why is it so important in a marriage? My fiance and I don't think it is. To me it's nothing more than some friction. I value intimacy and closeness, but get this in many ways from my fiance, and we are extremely affectionate with each other. I don't think a marriage needs it to thrive, as long as you can express yourselves and your affection in other ways.

Thoughts?

Most of the advice they have given you here is terrible. You just have to do what feels right. You don't have to try to "spice it up" or visit a physician. If you and your boyfriend are happy then nothing else matters. You shouldn't worry if it is normal or not to have the relationship you have. If you are both happy with it then it's cool. I know that such a relationship can be very fulfilling.

 

[Wolfman89]

Y'all do know that this thread was started in 2004, right?

 

[Chanterelle]

Y'all do know that this thread was started in 2004, right?

It doesn't really matter because there are always other people with similar issues and it may help them... and they can read peoples opinions/suggestions without having to start a new thread.

 

[MojoRisin]

OP is probably such a sex machine now its not funny. Amazing how those who are sexually repressed as youngsters turn into absolute freaks later on in life....


Updates?

 

[touchadream]

I have been married 29 years. Yep. 29. to a doctor. ANY reservations you have will be multiplied. ANY. There have been times I didn't want sex and he did. There have been times I wanted it bad and he didn't. Kids kill your time together, although the rewards of having and raising them are dazzling. You had better like sex with him A LOT. You need to get help to fix this, and premarital counselling is a great idea, just don't take the first one you meet. Find the right person to help you, medical, sex therapist, counsellor, and shop around a lot until you both feel comfortable. This is SO normal and SO important that one or both of you will have so much pain at some point, it can destroy the loving friendship you want to keep. Just one experienced opinion.

 

[WhtsThFrequency]

Another bump? Jesus, check the date.

 

[mommy0217]

Dont get married if you dont like sex (period)

 

[mac_kin]

booooo

 

[MaximusD]

Hi guys,

Thanks for your responses. To clarify things: I am sexually satisfied every time we do have sex, and always have been--that's not the problem. The problem is that I feel sex just isn't worth the payoff. I enjoy the affection we show each other in other ways, and we're the most touchy-feely couple I know or have practically ever seen. I just find sex boring. I always look at the clock when we do it, wishing it was over with already. The problem is, I've always been like this, with all my past ex-boyfriends and lovers. With all of them (and I've dated quite a bit), I've always been bored. I chalk it up to low desire.

My fiance is ok with not much sex--he is a nice guy and says that it's not that important compared to other things. The funny thing is, the only time I've found sex exciting is with "bad boy" partners, and that's not who I want to be married to--I like the stereotypical "nice guys"--who may be boring in bed compared to the bad boys, but have much better qualities all around.

Since I'm getting married in 2 months, I'm just worried that once we're married, we'll only do it once every 3-4 months. I'd be ok with that, and I'm sure he would, too.

Maybe you aren't being honest with youself about "your type".