Family Member's Opinions

[ilovefishing]

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[dotdash]

Sadly, it's usually family culture and habits that determine how freely family members give advice, not how badly you need the advice.

It sounds to me as if they are worried for you. Can you "hear" them and then move on? Therapist language: "I hear that you are worried about how I'll do this year. I'll be doing my best -- same as last year -- but I'll let you know if anything looks as if it is going wrong."

Then just to answer for yourself: Is it really ALL of them who are worried? And if so, might there really be something distracting about this man -- something that might really derail you? No one can answer that one but you.

 

[macmarty]

Well, you're old enough to decide how you want to live. If you love your boyfriend and want him to be with you, then go your way. Just tell you family you understand their concerns but you think living with your boyfriend is the best for you. The will still worry about it but that's how it is ... Family ...

 

[jinx520]

So my boyfriend and I have been dating for two years. We have plans to get married eventually but I told him he had to get through my first semester of med school first He's still in undergrad and is planning to transfer to Virginia Tech next semester to be with me. ALL of my family keeps telling me not to bring him to Virginia because I will be too distracted. I say he didn't distract me from doing well on the MCAT or Acing my pre-reqs, so things should be ok. I think I have already made my decision. My question is, how do you politely ask family members to mind their own business?!?!?! I understand their concern, but they stress me out more than a relationship ever will

I don't know how things are in your family, but in mine, MYOB will never happen. It's a cultural thing for me that the whole extended family has to weigh in on every move the younger generation makes. You might have to accept the fact that they will always comment on SOMETHING, and trying to convince them that your way is working for you is a waste of time. If you feel like you have to say something to establish your boundaries, speak your truth, etc., you could try something like "Thank you for your input. I know you are concerned because you love me." Then change the subject.

 

[ilovefishing]

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[tm79602]

You are a grown woman and you have every right to make your own decisions. Your family just cares like a healthy family does, and they just want what is best for you. Show them that you can excel in med school and still have a supportive boyfriend who will be there with you. It is very hard to find that person who will support you, but if you have it do not let it go. I just separated from active duty military and I am now in the AF Reserves applying to pharmacy school. My husband is in the military (active duty) and is getting out as well to finish his prereqs to dentistry school. I have a very supportive husband who is willing to pack up and move with me to attend a school near my mom. I have a supportive mom who is willing to help me and my husband out financially while we are in school (we have a 3 year old). When you have a network of support, it makes you stronger! Good luck to you