psipsina -- If I understand you correctly, I agree with you.
Maybe part of the back & forth argument is that there could be a conflict between two ethical considerations.
Wiki has a nice article on Medical Ethics ... see if you agree: (and you can update it if you don't and have the time)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Medical_ethics
"Medical ethics is the study of moral values as they apply to medicine. In many cases, moral values can be in conflict, and ethical crises can result.
...
"Writers about medical ethics have suggested many methods to help resolve conflicts involving medical ethics. Sometimes, no good solution to a dilemma in medical ethics exists, and occasionally, the values of the medical community (i.e., the hospital and its staff) conflict with the values of the individual patient, family, or larger non-medical community.
Values in Medical Ethics
Six of the values that commonly apply to medical ethics discussions are:
Beneficence - a practitioner should act in the best interest of the patient. (Salus aegroti suprema lex.)
Non-maleficence - "first, do no harm" (primum non nocere).
Autonomy - the patient has the right to refuse or choose their treatment. (Voluntas aegroti suprema lex.)
Justice - concerns the distribution of scarce health resources, and the decision of who gets what treatment.
Dignity - the patient (and the person treating the patient) have the right to dignity.
Truthfulness and honesty - the concept of informed consent has increased in importance since the historical events of the Nuremberg trials and Tuskegee Syphilis Study
"Values such as these do not give answers as to how to handle a particular situation, but provide a useful framework for understanding conflicts. Conflicts in ethical values lead to ethical dilemmas. Many times these conflicts exist between the patient and family, and the medical care providers. Conflicts can also arise between health care providers, or among family members. For example, the principles of autonomy and beneficence clash when patients refuse life-saving blood transfusion, and truth-telling was not emphasized to a large extent before the HIV era.
(read more at wiki if you want)
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Something like abortion can brings different values in medical ethics into conflict (at least for physicians who consider the unborn child as needing protections that must be weighed against other issues, such as imminent threat to the mother's life may ultimately be the deciding factor).
An ectopic pregnancy seems like rather simple case in many ways: The unborn child almost certainly cannot survive (barring the more or less miraculous). The mother almost certainly cannot survive either. The ethical solution is to save one life terminate the pregnancy. I can't imagine a physician having an ethical or moral objection to this.
Things get more complicated, of course, if there are other problems, such as the pregnant mother's blood pressure cannot be controlled, her kidneys are failing, etc. It's less clear-cut in my mind than the ectopic pregnancy case even though the proper course of action may be the same.
To me a lot of this comes down to how do you view the unborn child (embryo). If the physician's view is out of step with that of the patient and, for that matter, the community, we have a problem. To put it another way, do you view the unborn child similarly to an infant, with similar rights or not? This comes up in other questions, such as different methods of obtaining fetal stem cells for various potential therapies.
Taking this question about the medical ethics of abortion to a rather touchy extreme, even if our country or another country legalized infanticide (heaven forbid), it wouldn't mean that it was now ethical to engage in such a practice as a physician even if the patient and community thought it was ok if the infant was unhealthy, the stress of caring for the child posed health problems for the mother, etc. Similarly, for a pro-life physician, although abortion is legal, the health and life of the unborn child must still be ethically and morally considered and weighed against other factors. When you get down to the details, there always seems to be a significant amount of interpretation and judgment going on. Physicians are not of one mind when it comes to the more difficult these ethical questions and may even be out of step with a community's wishes. In my opinion, the best we can do is to know what aspects of ethics are more or less worked out and where we can thus proceed with confidence and potential trouble spots where more caution and perhaps additional input and consultation may be necessary (having a process of working out conflicts). It seems like there are good systems in place to deal with ethical conflicts if the physician and/or patient have a concern.