For my husband and me(hubby is the med student), it has been very important that his medical school career is seen as a joint effort. We worked together to choose the schools to apply to, I helped him study for the MCAT, etc.... Aside from both of us being wholly committed to the idea of having a doctor in the family, it is also important that your wife have outside interests...a job, sports, classes, support groups (try medicalspouse.org) etc... My biggest fear going into this was the fear that my life would be on-hold for seven years. We have worked to make sure that is not the case. We went ahead and started our family, I am continuing in my career and education, and we are on target to purchase a house in the near future.
Good luck.