Anyone else scared or not excited to start residency?

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Aresnebula

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Hi all, I will start by saying that I am glad and privileged to match at a good program despite my academic shortcomings, but I am not excited at all. If anything I am scared to start residency, especially knowing that I will be on call during my first official week. My residency requires me to move out of state which I am not looking forward to and this move is another obstacle to my happiness. I know 3 years are not that long when compared to other MD residencies but I am worried that burnout/depression will take over for me. I guess I am just looking to connect with others who feel the same way or have felt the same way when they first started.

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You will do fine. All other pgy1s nationwide are doing the same thing. Seniors are there to help you. It's a great opportunity.

The OR is no place for the timid.

It's good to be aware of your feelings, but it sure sounds like you may want to do some mental re-framing between now and 07/01, though.

Big Boy GIF
 
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What you are not accounting for is how much you will grow just within your first few months.
Look back at how far you have gotten. You made it this far. Who knows how high you can fly in a month or a year?

Stop worrying. Eat well. Sleep well. Make friends. Work out consistently.

The only thing you can control is yourself and how you prepare mentally and physically.

It can either be a huge pain in the butt/anxiety attack, or it can be an exciting new adventure.
Prepare for your move. Research the area. Visit so its not your first time. Figure out what places you'd enjoy to eat at. Go explore the nearby city. Find hobbies or groups that you can join. Do these things a few weeks in advance. Set up your new apartment or whatever and just live in that area a bit. Let yourself settle in before you start.

The more preparation you do- the less anxiety there is.

Buck up or worry for the rest of your life.
 
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One of the awesome feelings to me was the realization that I wasn't a student going through the motions anymore, the patients were *my* patients, that the decisions I made were affecting their well-being. Even tiny things like wound care orders felt important to me. So remember it's ultimately not about you, it's about them.
 
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I think that's a little much, Toefather.

Here is an honest and realistic response:

Residency is hard. It's a lot of work. However, we have all been through it and it's doable. Your co-residents and attendings will understand that you are brand new. You will adapt, learn, and grow. It's not as doom and gloomy as Toefather made it out to seem. I think Weirdy had a good response and you should take what they said to heart. Get into the right frame of mind. It will be different. You will be stressed and anxious at times. You may cry at times. This is all fairly normal. However, you will also have some really amazing experiences, grow, meet some life-long friends, and learn. I hated being a resident, but I am thankful I was. It really does prepare you (at least mine did) for life as a doctor. Being a doctor is also terrifying at times. Learning how to control your emotions and present as confident is super important and something you learn while a resident.

Hopefully this helps! You can do it!

I never had that experience working in a PP with a person who did no residency. I know some who did, but if you are open to working in a variety of locations you can find good opportunities and make really good money.
 
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Another post deleted for wrongthink, sad
 
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I loved residency.
It sucked. A lot.
But I also loved it.
I would do residency again.
It was a damn good time.
 
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- I love my program. Feel very fortunate to be able to say that.
- I don't love being a first year (yay for it almost being over). It is a steep learning curve and a lot of responsibility thrown onto you.
- I don't love my pager because it goes off all. the. time. First year was A LOT of call. You get used to it. You learn to make time to still go do things, even if you have to have the pager strapped to you. I started taking my laptop places with me, have the EMR app on my phone, etc. Don't stop living because you have to be on call nights/weekends. Just know that they will probably drag your ass back in lol.
- Some days are really hard. I have cried more than once. But on those really hard days-- my co residents really step up and help. My attendings aren't dinguses. Sometimes you mess up- part of being a resident. Everyone f*cks up. You won't be the only one.
- I had a career before this. Some days I think about how I was just living my boujee life and then I decided I needed to start my career all over again. Pick something that motivates you, gets you through the rough times. If you are sentimental, take pictures with your friends/coresidents/attendings/wins/awesome surgeries to remember all the good things you've done/experienced/learned.
- Looking back over the last year, I can't believe how much I have learned and grown. From the first time I had to call a page back (truly terrified), to now, balancing covering elective surgeries, inpatients, lots of pages, etc. You just adapt. It will happen.
- Anyway, just like everyone has said, you'll have lots of ups and downs. It is what it is. But you will learn, you will grow, and you will survive. Lean on your co-residents. They will likely be life long friends. You go through a lot together. You see each other at your highest and your very lowest.

I'm done being sentimental. Just work hard and you'll be fine :). Get. through. first. year.
 
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