Any surgeon want to adopt me?

[dienekes88]

Are you even old enough to remember that movie? Weren't you only 5 years old when it came out (in 1991)?

Hahaha. Yeah, but I was almost 6...!

VHS.

---

Members don't see this ad.

 

[Blade28]

Hahaha. Yeah, but I was almost 6...!

VHS.

 

[DrDre311]

I think that could still have racist overtones. That doesn't mean the person meant it that way, though. The same words with the same intent applied to two separate situations can have vastly different implications. Sad but true.



Med school wasn't hard???

Aren't you an integrated plastics resident!?

Are you just some kind of T-1000 of studying?

Yeah, I just read another post by the same guy where he's looking for medical specialties that: (1) Make "alot" of money, (2) work very few hours, (3) are slow-paced, and (4) are easy to get into. So I'm not taking him seriously.


I don't mean to say med school was a joke or anything, because it wasn't. I worked very hard. It's just that I wasn't miserable, and although it was challenging I never considered it amazingly difficult. Making my college track team was much harder for me than medical school.

Nah, I'm not really a T-1000 of studying or anything. I just have a really good memory, I solve problems quickly, and I don't need much sleep.
And I am an integrated plastics resident. Allow me to show you a photograph:



"Have you seen this boy?"

<--Dre

 

[MossPoh]

But what I think that pre-meds need to realize (and very few of them do) is that there is a wide spectrum of experiences in med school and residency, that ranges from fantastic/best years of my life all the way down to horrible/I was practically suicidal for most of it.

And the thing is - no one knows where on that spectrum you'll fall until you actually go through it. Most likely, you'll be in the middle. But not everyone is.

I think that is everyone. It isn't limited to premeds. Everybody wants to think the next step is going to be super ultra fantastic and nothing but fun. "Gosh darnit, we're going to band together and work hard and have a jolly good time!" I have plenty of friends in grad schools and corporate who had these grand expectations and now are left miserable half the time. If you aren't at least a little bit naive when you're 25 or younger (probably older than that too) then it will be a sad life to live. Surprises, whether good or bad, are just the spice of life. There are people that deal with them and people that don't. You never know until you encounter them, like you said.

Every phase of life is a big step. I rather deal with someone that is optimistic going in than pessimistic. (This is coming from a cynical and pessimistic bastard like myself)

 

[smq123]

I think that is everyone. It isn't limited to premeds. Everybody wants to think the next step is going to be super ultra fantastic and nothing but fun.

Yeah...but there is something to be said for being a realist, even if reality isn't necessarily pleasant. And the reality is that you may hate medicine. A lot. We joke about it on SDN, but the truth of the matter is is that you may find that it is not for you. And I think that all pre-meds need to hear that and seriously think about it.

If you aren't at least a little bit naive when you're 25 or younger (probably older than that too) then it will be a sad life to live. Surprises, whether good or bad, are just the spice of life. There are people that deal with them and people that don't. You never know until you encounter them, like you said.

I think part of the maturing process is realizing that you SHOULD start anticipating some "surprises." That's part of being an adult, and certainly part of being a good doctor/med student.

There is a difference between being naive and between being blindsided by awful surprises.

Every phase of life is a big step. I rather deal with someone that is optimistic going in than pessimistic. (This is coming from a cynical and pessimistic bastard like myself)

Then, sorry, but I think that you're burying your head in the sand.

Everything in medicine, so far, has been about preparation. Do you know what the next step may bring? Because if you do, even if it's coming from the most pessimistic person you know, then you can prepare for it. And that's the key - preparing for what bad things might happen.

I truly believe that you need to hear ALL sides of medicine. Even if you hear the worst side, you can prepare for it. I think that it's simpleminded to think that hearing a negative opinion will sway people from medicine - in my experience, it never does. But by taking that negative opinion and using it to prepare yourself for the future - THAT's how you can prepare yourself to succeed in med school.

Yeah, I just read another post by the same guy where he's looking for medical specialties that: (1) Make "alot" of money, (2) work very few hours, (3) are slow-paced, and (4) are easy to get into. So I'm not taking him seriously.

He also got defensive on that same thread because I defended you, and asked him not to call random people on the internet "son" or "boy." He retorted by calling me "son."

You know, I've been specifically choosing avatars for their clearly feminine nature. This is because I was tired of people on SDN calling me "dude" and thinking that I was a guy. So, rather than change my SN, I just kept hoping that people would look at my avatar and automatically assume that I'm a girl.

Well, I guess that plan didn't work out so well.

 

[BlondeDocteur]

Some surprises can be good. I came from a medical family and knew what I was getting into... I hated, with a passion that cannot be described, the first year, and just tolerated the second. The surprise came with third year-- I loved it. I mean, really loved it. I felt alive in a way I hadn't for years.

Btw BeachBlondie I like you much more when you're "real," as you've been in your last few posts. No need to adopt facades here.

 

[HoboCommander]

Why are you already so worried about the downsides of ortho?

You're a pre-med, for the love of Jeebus! Your primary concern at this point should be about the downsides of the med school application process, the downsides of MS1 and MS2, the crap that you'll have to put up with as a third year, and the downsides about the practice of medicine in general.

I'm sorry if I sound frustrated, but I am. Medical school has taken more out of me than I would have ever imagined, and I'm not even done yet!

I don't like talking about it, particularly not on SDN (where the cheerful patrol always seems to be lurking around the corner, ready to pounce on any moment of pessimistic weakness), but the first two years of medical school S-U-C-K-E-D. If I considered quitting only once that week, that was a pretty damn good week. I usually thought about quitting once a day.

I have never had moments of such terrible sadness and depression as I've had in med school. There have been times when I've felt really alone, and there's no one to talk to. The friends who would understand are too busy (and you don't want to burden them) and the rest just don't quite get it.

The stress has been out of this world sometimes. The sleep deprivation has been awful. The frustration of dealing with administration has made me not just want to punch walls, but has actually made me punch them. (I'm sorry, but I am NOT going to be able to get that paperwork in today, seeing as I'm on a rotation in ANOTHER F'ING STATE. Jesus Christ.)

People that are close to you move on, too fast it seems. Or else you get close to someone, and then you have to leave while they stay. Or else you find someone that you'd like to get close to, but your schedules just never synch up. It's hard, sometimes.

And the work plays a toll on your relationships. Ask any third year medical student, and I guarantee you that they all know someone who got divorced/broke up because of medicine.

No, it might not be that hard for you. In fact, I hope that it ISN'T that hard for you, if you ever make it past the pre-med stage. But I also hope that you don't become one of those relentlessly happy, cheerful people, and then get angry at your classmates for not being relentlessly happy and cheerful too.

And there are many good moments too. But they don't totally erase the bad ones.

So, no, you're correct that it's not all smiles and rainbows. But I wonder if you have any idea just how hard it can be. And it's something that you need to think about, before even starting to wonder about the downsides of surgery or ortho.

I'm sorry if I sound angry. And I know that this is probably not what you want to hear. (And I know that I'm spilling pessimism over an otherwise light-hearted thread. Sorry.) But...this is stuff that pre-meds need to hear. I know a lot of people who really should have heard it before applying to med school, and learned a lot of the stuff that I talked about above too late.

please stop complaining. us pre-meds would do ANYTHING to get to be in your position. you should feel very lucky, you lucky one. we would eat 10 pounds of dirt to get into medical school. please take your negativity elsewhere!

 

[Winged Scapula]

please stop complaining. us pre-meds would do ANYTHING to get to be in your position. you should feel very lucky, you lucky one. we would eat 10 pounds of dirt to get into medical school. please take your negativity elsewhere!

Don't get smq wrong; she knows she is in a position many would envy.

But let's be fair here - this a forum designed for residents, fellows and practitioners of surgery as well as those interested in the field. Therefore, we have to have a place where we can *honestly* discuss the field, its practice and what we love and what we hate about it.

Toward that end, there is bound to be some negativity. Its natural and doesn't mean that we're not grateful and respectful of what we've been given. But to expect that we keep things all rainbows and unicorns because it might dissuade a pre-med is ridiculous.

I encourage everyone to participate in the conversations here regardless of level but I will not discourage those who are in the thick of it from venting if need be.

 

[Kubed]

...

For the record, third year has been vastly better than 1st and 2nd year (although this is for a variety of reasons). But damn...1st year was just a blur of misery, bitterness, and depression. I'm not even sure, looking back, at how I survived without an SSRI or two.

Just wanted to chirp up on on that point. I didn't handle the transition into med school with anything resembling "grace." The shock of having to actually study, the realization that I was suddenly "normal" in my peer group, etc was rough. I limped though first year, but wow, 2nd year almost took me out. Like smq, I thought daily about dropping out or I was panicked that I was going to get kicked out. Thankfully I went to see my FM dr for something completely unrelated and he picked up on it. I started the SSRI and life got sooooo much better after that (making it to third year and actually getting to do some clinical medicine helped too )

I bring it up because I was very open amongst my classmates about starting an ssri and most were surprised that "he of all people needed something like that." It was cool though because I had probably 6-8% of my class tell me later something along the lines of "hey Kubed, after seeing that you were having a rough time of it and needed help, it made it ok for me to go get help"

...
You know, I've been specifically choosing avatars for their clearly feminine nature. This is because I was tired of people on SDN calling me "dude" and thinking that I was a guy. So, rather than change my SN, I just kept hoping that people would look at my avatar and automatically assume that I'm a girl.

Well, I guess that plan didn't work out so well.

Don't worry, those of us who you'd want to have picked up on that hint, did

 

[DrDre311]

He also got defensive on that same thread because I defended you, and asked him not to call random people on the internet "son" or "boy." He retorted by calling me "son."

You know, I've been specifically choosing avatars for their clearly feminine nature. This is because I was tired of people on SDN calling me "dude" and thinking that I was a guy. So, rather than change my SN, I just kept hoping that people would look at my avatar and automatically assume that I'm a girl.

Well, I guess that plan didn't work out so well.

I've never really looked at your avatar until you posted that, but something in your speech patterns made me assume you were female. I could have been wrong, but I think you're doing fine on the femininity front--as well as you could on an anonymous internet forum, anyway.

 

[Winged Scapula]

If it makes you feel any better smq, even when I was using my real name as my screen name, I would get PMs addressed "Dear Sir". I think some of it is the assumption that most surgeons or budding surgeons are male.

 

[smq123]

Don't get smq wrong; she knows she is in a position many would envy.

But let's be fair here - this a forum designed for residents, fellows and practitioners of surgery as well as those interested in the field. Therefore, we have to have a place where we can *honestly* discuss the field, its practice and what we love and what we hate about it.

Toward that end, there is bound to be some negativity. Its natural and doesn't mean that we're not grateful and respectful of what we've been given. But to expect that we keep things all rainbows and unicorns because it might dissuade a pre-med is ridiculous.

Thanks Winged Scapula. That's a very gracious way of saying exactly what I was thinking.

If it makes you feel any better smq, even when I was using my real name as my screen name, I would get PMs addressed "Dear Sir". I think some of it is the assumption that most surgeons or budding surgeons are male.

Okay, that's just ridiculous.

 

[Strength&Speed]

Dont worry. I just got a PM calling me "jenny". I have no idea why.

 

[DrDre311]

Dont worry. I just got a PM calling me "jenny". I have no idea why.

Jenny,
It's because you've got that website with all those pictures of you dressed up like Madonna with the cone boobs and dominatrix outfit and whatnot. You may want to, uh, do something about that before you go on the interview trail.

 

[Strength&Speed]

Jenny,
It's because you've got that website with all those pictures of you dressed up like Madonna with the cone boobs and dominatrix outfit and whatnot. You may want to, uh, do something about that before you go on the interview trail.

Oh, you're right. I forgot about "jenny".

 

[Tyc00nman]

holy moly. every individual has their respective learning, and pressure threshold. I know a marine who served in iraq and is now an M2 at a top 5. When asked if he thought getting into medschool and competing with some of the brightest in the nation was hard, he responded: no, serving in the military was harder; these kids couldn't last a day over there.

 

[Strength&Speed]

holy moly. every individual has their respective learning, and pressure threshold. I know a marine who served in iraq and is now an M2 at a top 5. When asked if he thought getting into medschool and competing with some of the brightest in the nation was hard, he responded: no, serving in the military was harder; these kids couldn't last a day over there.

with all due respect to the military, I think he underestimates the tenacity of some med students.

seriously though, theres some crazy mofo's in med school.

 

[Tyc00nman]

with all due respect to the military, I think he underestimates the tenacity of some med students.

seriously though, theres some crazy mofo's in med school.

hey, from your mouth to his ears. I can't really comment on the tenacity of med-students or marines, but I can say that some of the "hardest" things i've done in life have not been academic. I've competed academically at one of the top universities in the nation, and as far as im concerned, it is not even close to as hard as something that is very physically demanding. Again, this is relative to the individual.

 

[Blade28]

Everything in medicine, so far, has been about preparation. Do you know what the next step may bring? Because if you do, even if it's coming from the most pessimistic person you know, then you can prepare for it. And that's the key - preparing for what bad things might happen.

Totally agree. "Expect the best, prepare for the worst" is the appropriate adage here.

please stop complaining. us pre-meds would do ANYTHING to get to be in your position. you should feel very lucky, you lucky one. we would eat 10 pounds of dirt to get into medical school. please take your negativity elsewhere!

It's not that she's not grateful and fortunate to be where she is - trust me, she's very appreciative and cognizant of how lucky she is.

But that's not to say that it's still not a difficult journey - and none of us are above needing to voice our displeasure with certain aspects of our job from time to time.

If I were a pre-med I'd want to hear how things were "from the trenches," unfiltered and uncensored. I'd want to know what I was getting myself into. It's like the med students who decide to go into surgery after their benign, not-typical-of-most-tough programs MS-III General Surgery rotation - they don't get the true experience of what it's like to be a resident, so when they hit internship they realize that the lifestyle wasn't what they were prepared for.

 

[BeachBlondie]

Bottom line: If she needed to vent, all of the pre-meds in here need to accept that it's coming from a MED student. She's in the lion's cage. Granted, everyone will handle it differently. But, heed her advice and experience as she's a few steps ahead of the rest of us. Insight is always beneficial.

AND....

If one person saying that she had a rough time in med school is going to dissuade you from medicine, then clearly you should reconsider your future career.

 

[dienekes88]

Yeah, I just read another post by the same guy where he's looking for medical specialties that: (1) Make "alot" of money, (2) work very few hours, (3) are slow-paced, and (4) are easy to get into. So I'm not taking him seriously.

I don't mean to say med school was a joke or anything, because it wasn't. I worked very hard. It's just that I wasn't miserable, and although it was challenging I never considered it amazingly difficult. Making my college track team was much harder for me than medical school.

Nah, I'm not really a T-1000 of studying or anything. I just have a really good memory, I solve problems quickly, and I don't need much sleep.
And I am an integrated plastics resident. Allow me to show you a photograph:

<-- the other med students in Dre's class

"Have you seen this boy?"

<--Dre

Wow. I just thought that matching integrated plastics was so hard that no one could find it anything but a hellish experience. Good to know that isn't the case.

Hahaha. I added a caption for you.

 

[Tyc00nman]

<Tyc00nman

i had to do it

 

[DrDre311]

Wow. I just thought that matching integrated plastics was so hard that no one could find it anything but a hellish experience. Good to know that isn't the case.

Hahaha. I added a caption for you.

Don't get me wrong. The plastics interview trail was absolutely a hellish experience. I had unadulterated free-floating anxiety every day from the day I decided to go for integrated plastics until Match Day. I'm usually pretty carefree but I knew there were no guarantees in integrated plastics and it really bothered me that even though I had done everything right (top of my class, excellent board scores, aways, research, EC's, AOA, etc.) there was a good chance I might not even be allowed to train in my desired field. The trail was exhausting and draining in terms of time, money, and energy (23 interviews!). The constant travel, living in airports/hotels, changing time zones, eating crappy food, hemorrhaging cash, having to be "on" all the time...it was terrible.

Although I didn't find med school itself terribly difficult, I really, really hated interviewing. I don't wish that kind of stress on anyone. But hey, it was all worth it because I like my job and I'm good at it. There's no telling how I would have freaked out if I hadn't matched in PRS.

 

[roja]

If it makes you feel any better smq, even when I was using my real name as my screen name, I would get PMs addressed "Dear Sir". I think some of it is the assumption that most surgeons or budding surgeons are male.

HeeHee. I love this at work, where I am wearing dress clothes, a coat AND a badge that say Dr. Roja, I introduce myself as Dr. Roja-I'll-be-your-doctor-today. .... Your nurse will be with you shortly... and then invariably the patient will either call me nurse, or tell the nurse a doctor hasn't seen them yet.

 

[Winged Scapula]

HeeHee. I love this at work, where I am wearing dress clothes, a coat AND a badge that say Dr. Roja, I introduce myself as Dr. Roja-I'll-be-your-doctor-today. .... Your nurse will be with you shortly... and then invariably the patient will either call me nurse, or tell the nurse a doctor hasn't seen them yet.

Amusing when its some old codger who remembers a time when women only left the house to get their hair done.

Not so much when its a young guy who presumably has good hearing, vision and a sense that women can actually be something other than nurses.

I prefer to think of it as fantasy-destroying that I'm not the hot nurse coming in to give them their sponge bath.

 

[GoodMonkey]

I won't argue with you and I'm sorry that you've had some bad experiences in med school, but allow me to present an alternate viewpoint.

I didn't think medical school was that hard. Sure, I worked a lot and studied a lot, and there were times when I wished I could go out drinking or see a movie or something but couldn't; but I really didn't think it was all that tough. Probably the worst part of medical school for me was wondering whether or not I was going to match, and dealing with my school's annoying bureaucracy (plus our massive over-abundance of required medicine rotations).

But I never considered quitting--not once did it cross my mind that I can recall. I don't sleep much and I don't really mind being at the hospital (unless I'm bored) and it just wasn't as tough for me as it evidently is for some people.

I definitely had a lot more moments of satisfaction/excitement than "Oh God, shoot me now" moments (and most of those came on OB).

med school - wasn't bad for me. i enjoyed all 4 years, for the most part. only small bits stand out as craptastic.

internship - now that was when making it through one week without wanting to quit = a good week.

 

[teddybear]

I like this girl BeachBlondie. She's hilarious.

 

[BeachBlondie]

I like this girl BeachBlondie. She's hilarious.

MUAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAA! I have a following!

...Of...errr...one..person...

*runs away*

 

[roja]

I prefer to think of it as fantasy-destroying that I'm not the hot nurse coming in to give them their sponge bath.

What is destroyed becomes the building blocks for the next phase. There are men who fantasize about hot women doctors!

 

[SocialistMD]

Amusing when its some old codger who remembers a time when women only left the house to get their hair done.

I prefer to think of it as fantasy-destroying that I'm not the hot nurse coming in to give them their sponge bath.

Taking care of a lot of old codgers in your current practice, are you?

 

[Winged Scapula]

Taking care of a lot of old codgers in your current practice, are you?

Not too many these days, but a few here and there. Pretty much anything in the chest gets referred to me...seems people can't decide between what is chest and what is breast in men. Possible liposarcoma in the subcut tissues? Sure refer them to me.

And the there is always the spouse of the patient who expresses suprise that I'm a real surgeon.

 

[Blade28]

And the there is always the spouse of the patient who expresses suprise that I'm a real surgeon.

Ridiculous.

 

[BeachBlondie]

Not too many these days, but a few here and there. Pretty much anything in the chest gets referred to me...seems people can't decide between what is chest and what is breast in men. Possible liposarcoma in the subcut tissues? Sure refer them to me.

And the there is always the spouse of the patient who expresses suprise that I'm a real surgeon.

Are you kidding?! Hahahaha Wait...I'm gripped by dense fear. It IS 2008, right?

 

[Strength&Speed]

hey, from your mouth to his ears. I can't really comment on the tenacity of med-students or marines, but I can say that some of the "hardest" things i've done in life have not been academic. I've competed academically at one of the top universities in the nation, and as far as im concerned, it is not even close to as hard as something that is very physically demanding. Again, this is relative to the individual.

Actually I'd disagree with you on this. I have done some pretty hard physically demanding stuff, but residency is worse. Staying up long hours and trying to think and deal with emotional issues is much more difficult that putting my head down and grinding out something physically. Of course, its a matter of degree. Plus--when you workout--at least you get some good pheromones going (unless its exceptionally arduous). Not so with intellectually/emotionally demanding work.

Then again, i think i'd be foolish to think that being in Iraq with hostile forces trying to turn you into swiss cheese is easier. Im sure its a HELL of a lot harder. All I'm saying is that med students are determined bastards too, and I think quite a few would harden themselves to shine in this environment as well.

 

[smq123]

Are you kidding?! Hahahaha Wait...I'm gripped by dense fear. It IS 2008, right?

No, no, I'm pretty sure she's not kidding.

Patients (and their preconceived notions) can be really frustrating.

There ARE a lot of patients who assume that all women (even a female surgeon) are nurses. Even more fun are the ones who will assume that you went to "nursing" school to "find a nice doctor to marry."

But, you know, it could always be worse. The worst story I've heard so far is the patient who refused to believe that the black guy was NOT the janitor, but, in fact, was the senior trauma surgery resident.

 

[dynx]

The stress has been out of this world sometimes. The sleep deprivation has been awful. The frustration of dealing with administration has made me not just want to punch walls, but has actually made me punch them. (I'm sorry, but I am NOT going to be able to get that paperwork in today, seeing as I'm on a rotation in ANOTHER F'ING STATE. Jesus Christ.)

Wow. Wait till intern year. Sleep deprivation in medical school? I slept 9 hours a night every year except 3rd year surgery and IM rotations and the beginning of fourth for AIs. Frustration w/ administration WOOOhooo! this post just keeps getting better. You better be going into FP cause you're not going to make it in another specialty.

 

[smq123]

Wow. Wait till intern year. Sleep deprivation in medical school? I slept 9 hours a night every year except 3rd year surgery and IM rotations and the beginning of fourth for AIs. Frustration w/ administration WOOOhooo! this post just keeps getting better. You better be going into FP cause you're not going to make it in another specialty.

It took me an hour to get to rotations each day, and then an hour to get home. I've been commuting an hour to school, and an hour back, since first year.

On peds, it took me TWO hours to get to rotations each day, and then two hours to get home.

I had a lot of personal issues that needed to get sorted out almost every night when I did get home. There was a lot of tension about non-med school related stuff. Having 2-3 people expect you to solve their problems for them almost weekly, in addition to school, became a bit much after a year or so.

You don't know me. And you don't know what made med school hard for me. I tried to talk about the other stuff, because, honestly, I don't really like going into the personal issues (while on a public forum) that made med school difficult.

And I know intern year is tough, having lived with someone who went through it (before the 80 hour week rule went into place). But, as long as intern year lets me get away from some of the issues that surrounded me during med school, then it will still be an improvement.

 

[teddybear]

BTW, thanks for sticking up for me on that other thread when I got called oout. I think that's the first time I've ever been called "boy" on the internet (does it seem kinda racist considering my avatar?).[/quote]

Not necessarily. It depends on the context it was used in. Myself personally, I throw around the words "girl" and "boy" all the time, but that's just my speech habits, it's just the way I talk. I would never, ever use it to mean something racial. I despise those types. They make me wanna kick their butt up between their shoulder blades.

 

[Strength&Speed]

MUAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAA! I have a following!

...Of...errr...one..person...

*runs away*

BB- did you naturally acquire this creative writing style? i feel like I am THERE when you are typing. Very realistic, expressive, with innovative use of punctuation and spacing. I give you the first SDN creative writing prize (short story). Congratulations.

*shuffles off stage*

 

[Blade28]

You better be going into FP cause you're not going to make it in another specialty.

Hey, come on, take it easy. All she's saying is that med school can be frustrating and that sleep deprivation DOES happen on the tougher rotations.

Doesn't mean she won't be a great resident.

 

[Winged Scapula]

You better be going into FP cause you're not going to make it in another specialty.

Wow...a variation of Lee Burnett's Rule.

 

[roja]

And the there is always the spouse of the patient who expresses suprise that I'm a real surgeon.

Just tell them no, but you play one on TV.



(I actually said this once to a patients mom (probably younger than me) who asked me THREE times if I was really a doctor. After the third time of "are you really a doctor, you look so young, blah blah" I just turned and said, "No, I'm really not, but don't worry, I play one on tv."

 

[Blade28]

Wow...a variation of Lee Burnett's Rule.

Which is?...

 

[BeachBlondie]

BB- did you naturally acquire this creative writing style? i feel like I am THERE when you are typing. Very realistic, expressive, with innovative use of punctuation and spacing. I give you the first SDN creative writing prize (short story). Congratulations.

*shuffles off stage*

*tears*

I didn't really prepare a speech, so this is going to be short:

I just want to thank God, most of all. And the producers, and the directors, and the writer, and the grips, and the camera operators, and the make-up artist for the extra mascara, and the dog trainer, and the caterers, and the little boy that sat outside of the set everyday, and the exterminators, and every teacher I've ever had, and my mom, dad, sister, other sister, older brother, younger brother, younger brother's friend, dog, goldfish "Spanky", grocery store clerk, Home Depot associate that helped me find nails that day, the mail man, my landlord, the guy that cuts my hair, the guy that watches the guy cut my hair and doesn't really do much in the shop, the group of weirdos that always whistles at me on the way to and from my car, the guy that ran over the cat that kept yowling at night, and the polar bears for being so fluffy and cute, and the seals who escape from the jaws of the polar bears, and the trees on Earth that provide us with shade and oxygen, and the company that invented the nailpolish that I'm wearing, and the girl that grows prettier flowers than me, and I know there's more but their cutting to commercial. I LOVE YOU, SDN!

...Oh, and I don't recall ever taking any classes on creativity in writing. I just ramble.

 

[Blade28]

You sure Ortho is right for you? Not speechwriting or standup comedy or publishing a blog or something of that nature?

 

[BeachBlondie]

You sure Ortho is right for you? Not speechwriting or standup comedy or publishing a blog or something of that nature?

I'm sure. I can integrate the two, right? A little one-liner here and there in the OR...make the team giggle.

"Scalpel, please. I need some suction...gonna need a lot of suction... Ok so *slice slice* a doctor says to his patient, 'I've got some bad news and some really bad news...' More suction. ...the patient insists on hearing the moderately bad news first so the doctor tells him that he only has 24 hours to live... *slice slice* What is that? Anyway, the patient is mortified and asks, 'Then what's the REALLY bad news?' I need someone to look at this...Is this a liver? Oh! So the doctor tells him, 'I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.' HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA *slice slice* Whoops. Gonna need a hemostat on that one."

 

[Strength&Speed]

Holy christ my dad uses that joke on me. Are you actually my dad BeachBlondie?

I'm sure. I can integrate the two, right? A little one-liner here and there in the OR...make the team giggle.

"Scalpel, please. I need some suction...gonna need a lot of suction... Ok so *slice slice* a doctor says to his patient, 'I've got some bad news and some really bad news...' More suction. ...the patient insists on hearing the moderately bad news first so the doctor tells him that he only has 24 hours to live... *slice slice* What is that? Anyway, the patient is mortified and asks, 'Then what's the REALLY bad news?' I need someone to look at this...Is this a liver? Oh! So the doctor tells him, 'I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.' HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA *slice slice* Whoops. Gonna need a hemostat on that one."

 

[Blade28]

There are a lot of variants on that joke:

Doctor: I've got some good news and some bad news.
Patient: What's the good news?
Doctor: I'm going to be buying a new Ferrari.
Patient: And the bad news?
Doctor: You'll be paying for it.

 

[BeachBlondie]

Holy christ my dad uses that joke on me. Are you actually my dad BeachBlondie?

Hello, son.

 

[BeachBlondie]

There are a lot of variants on that joke:

Doctor: I've got some good news and some bad news.
Patient: What's the good news?
Doctor: I'm going to be buying a new Ferrari.
Patient: And the bad news?
Doctor: You'll be paying for it.

OR!!! One of my favorites...

Doctor: I've got some bad news, and I've got some worse news.
Patient: Ok. What the bad news?
Doctor: You've been diagnosed with AIDS.
Patient: Oh Lord! What's the WORSE news???
Doctor: You've also been diagnosed with Alzheimer's.
Patient: *deep sigh* Well, at least I don't have AIDS...