The way to win is to ignore them, not stoop to their level and become EXACTLY like them.
well, "ignoring them" has kind of landed us in the current situation. using superior wit, logic, and intelligence, however, is how we can stay
above them... which is what i think you're really getting at.
Without the anonominity im sure the vast majority of the people posting 'attitude' are the passive aggresive 'fade into the background' types.
i, for one, am 6'1" and check in at about 215lbs. and, despite being an "old man", i still pretty much have my undergrad-sized football-player's body. i work out 3-4 times/week, and despite a puppy-dog face (according to my wife) no one would ever refer to me in casual conversation as an "unimposing presence". okay, so i can't bench 380lbs, but i can place a 10 shot 6-inch group at 25 yards with my 1911. what does that prove anyway?
personally, i'm pretty much in person the way i am here. maybe i check my tongue a little more in the real world than i do here. however, when on the rare occassion i do have a problem with people it is usually not because i'm the one who is being unreasonable. i've found, throughout my life, that most people inherently respect me. this is due in part because of my size but also because i don't generally dick around. likewise, i carefully think about what i'm saying/doing before i say/do it.
i've had "discussions" in the real world similar to what i've had here, and i don't hesitate to correct someone, no matter who they are, if/when they're clearly wrong about something, be it a patient care issue or just their general interpretation of reality. that's called leadership, a skill every good physician should possess. and, this skill is applied equally to colleagues, patients, attendings... whomever. does this occassional get me in trouble? occassionally. but, if i'm proved wrong, i'm the first person to admit it. however, when interpersonal trouble arises, more often than not, it's usually not because what i've said is incorrect but more likely because i supposedly didn't show deference to someone who feels they've earned the right to be an ***hole. i just don't stand for bullying in any form that takes and from anyone who thinks they want to dole it out. never have, never will. not so amazingly, the enemies i might make because of that attitude usually have already succeeded in winning the enmity of everyone around them. so, it's no loss anyway.
and, did i fail to mention that i'm also heavily armed?
point is, if you act like a doormat, you'll get walked on. i'm all about benevolence, but sometimes you have to hand out the smack down, especially when someone is really asking for it. in the end, if you're clearly right, you're justified and no one will fault you.
the problems arise only when you
think you're right, and you mistake a shaky opinion as hard and fast fact. nonetheless, opinions are actually good things provided they are grounded in fact. if you can back-up what you say, then despite that people probably will still argue with you you'll know you're on high ground and should stick to your guns. after all, isn't that what we ultimately are getting paid to do (ie. be an advocate for our patients and our profession)?
