Your scrifices

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ih8biochem

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Hello residents and med school students,

So I've been told ever since I started this journey is to enjoy my undergraduate years while I still can. Unfortunately, as I now finish my final semester, I'm only now begining to realize that. I've been running around like a headless chicken the last couple years doing research, studying, working, volunteering, etc. and I now regret not spending more time with my loved ones. My girlfriend, bless her heart, has always been my strongest pillar of support and has always been very understanding of everything. Begining med school in the fall would only mean less time with her. I'm begining to realize how selfish toward your loved ones it is to persue medicine and my only penance is that I'll acutally get to improve the health of other people. Sadly, the potential of losing my gf is a sacrifice I'm prepared to make.

So I'm curious. What sacrifices have you folks made? Please be specific. Less time at the gym? No more garage band? A marriage? What did these things mean to you before you had to give them up and what are you thoughts on making that decision?
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i have lived thousands of miles away from my family and loved ones for four years. i miss weddings, birthdays, holidays, parties, births, etc...i lost my girlfriend of 3 years when i was 2 years into it.

basically, i am missing out on 6 years or so of my "normal" life.

i would do it again, but it did surprise me just how many things that i value, i just don't get to participate in. and, life does go on without you in it.

but, there are a lot of positives as well. i have made some great freinds, seen parts of the world i would never have seen, i am getting a great education, learning a new language, etc...medicine is a sacrifice, but there are plenty of gains to offset the losses.
 
I have a very good friend (not in med/grad school) who insists that by attending med school, I am not "sacrificing" anything. By his definition, sacrifice entails giving up something you WANT do, to pursue something that you HAVE to do. Because I couldn't see myself in any other profession than medicine...ie, this is what i WANT to do, I'm not making any sacrifice. I guess the point is that there are many small sacrifices...sleeping in on weekend mornings, maybe missing a tv show, not going on trips. But if you look oat the big picture, the small ones are not that pressing. I will ALSO tell you that if you go into med school thinking that you will have absolutely no free time and gear yourself up for the worst, most intense 4+ years of your life, then any free time will be a gift. I've noticed that if i really want to do something extracurricular, I can generally make it happen (though i'm only a second year). You'll be fine.

lar
 
I do not feel that you have to sacrifice anything but the money you'd be making if you got a "real" job by going to med school. I chose to stay "in-state" so I still had a lot of friends from undergrad years and was not that far from family. I had plenty of time to party, interact with the opposite sex and pursue hobbies. I did get good grades, but did not do much of any volunteer work or a lot of research. In the beginning of my 1st year I asked the dean whether he thought I should get involved in class politics, etc. and he said his recommendation was to learn as much as you can about medicine in these 4 years and that would put you in the best position to be successful. I don't think you can have it both ways and still have a good life for the 4 years you are in med school. This strategy has seemed to work for me.

One thing that I have noticed is that if you had to work really hard to get the grades that got you into med school you are not going to have a lot of time for other things. Just the volume of the material that you have to learn alone is going to make it more difficult for someone that was already stretching themselves academically. I'm not saying that the people that work really hard for their grades are going to make any less effective physicians, maybe they will be even better for it, but the quality of your life in med school will have to suffer. Don't try to boil the ocean and do everything and spread yourself so thin that you can't be happy at anything.
 
Larry,

If you think med school is the most intense 4 years, you better talk to some of the residents. I'll agree that 3rd year in mongo-intense, but at least you get significant off time (compared to two weeks in some residencies). Not only that, you'll also get some easier rotations. 4th year should also be somewhat easy going.

Ed
 
All choices involve sacrifice. Whenever you do one thing, you are cutting yourself off from doing something else.

Yes, there is a lot of blood, sweat and tears that go into a career in medicine. First, there is a loss of freedom. I'd love to take a year off and hang out in Thailand or Prague or wherever, but I can't. Not for awhile.

Secondly, there is a hell of a lot of work to do. The first two years of medical school is a lot of book work - easy for some, hard for others. 3rd and 4th year med school is scutwork and book study. Residency is exhaustion, scutwork and terror.

The worst part for me was disilluisionment about what medicine really is. It is not the noble pursuit of healing that I imagined as an undergraduate. 90% is paperwork, bureaucracy, and dealing with other people's ignorance and apathy - patients and staff. There are a lot of money, power issues and egos involved, which often get in the way of helping patients.

The hardest part of disillusionment is accepting that I too have put money, power and ego and the pursuit of sleep above patient care more than once.

However, you gain a lot by a career in medicine. You will continue to be intellectually challenged and emotionally/financially rewarded throughout your career. Your parents will go out of their way to brag about you. "My son/daughter the doctor..."

The best part, for me, is that I know I am doing something good. Even when I'm filling out another BS form to make some clerk happy, I am still contributing to helping make someone else feel better.

It's a big committment, and in the end you have to decide if the sacrifices are worth the reward.
 
Now that Im almost done with the school part, I dont think it has been that big of a deal. I think people tend to make time for the things they value and want to do, so from that standpoint I would say I havent had to sacrifice much. If you want time with the gf or at the gym or in the polka band, you'll make it happen. People tend to overdramatize med school, its not slave labor. I can think of a lot of things that would be harder and require more time and sacrifice than medical school.
 
I had so much more free time in med school than I expected. Agree with the above about people"overdramatizing" med school. You'll realize that whether you try to study all day every day, or whether you take good breaks to workout or spend time with friends and family, you'll do about the same. Sure, there are times you'll miss out on some fun stuff b/c you are working or studying, especially if you live far from lots of family and friends. But you also have the chance to make great new friends, more so than in many other jobs really b/c it's like high school all over - a class of about 100 or so people together for 4 years. And the end of 4th year med school was the time of my life - more free time than ever before or ever again till retirement - it was great. Most schools give you holiday breaks, even 3rd and 4the year during clinical rotations, and I didn't know any other friends with other jobs who had a whole week off near Christmas like that.

You have to do what job makes you happy. This goes for residency too. You can choose something less time-consuming, but then if you hate it you'll be miserable anyway, so you won't be a happy person. If you want to go to med school and you're going to regret not doing it - do it. You're lucky your girlfriend is so understanding, she sounds like a great person to enter this journey with. You'll find ways to make time to spend with her and still do well in school.
 
edmadison:

My point wasn't that med school/residency is the most intense 4+ years of your life, but rather if you enter into it as though it will be, then you'll be thrilled when you actually have nights free to watch tv or go out. I remember before i started school thinking how i wasn't going to see my family or be able to sleep in ever. when i got there and realized it wasnt as nightmarish as all the rumors and myths had made it out to be, it was a huge relief. I think most laypeople would be surprised how relatively few things have to be "given up" (at least during the first 4 yrs).

lar
 
today a second year told me that what i'm going thru is nothin....wait till u get to second year. He said its the worst year in this long journey.

two days ago a third year told me "the first two years are alright....wait till u get to third year, u'll hate ur life"

a few weeks ago i asked a surgery resident the same question......he didn't say nothing....he just walked away!!


seems like it just keeps gettin worse....and it doesn't matter what year u're in....it'll always seem like alot of work and no time.

now....i'm waiting for a pre-med to ask me about first year. I won't answer the question.....I'll just walk away.:rolleyes:
 
It's all a sacrifice. It also depends on what kind of life you had before med school. When I was in med school, I had these friends who didn't agree that it was such a major sacrifice, and when they'd ask me what I'd be doing if I wasn't there studying, that's when the difference came out. I am a very creative, actively artistic person, into music and did lots of things outside academics. My friends would say things like "Well, I'd just be working some job right now anyway". That's the difference. If you come from more of a boring, straight-forward life and you didn't have too much going on before hand, you will still feel the sense of time sacrifice, but not as much. Myself...I had people calling all the time asking about my involvement in the numerous things I used to take part in, and due to time and distance I couldn't take part. The sacrifice felt tremendous. It's different for everone. If you didn't have that much of an exciting life before hamd and were in shool straight through till med school...it's not that bad. If you had a life, it's a different story.
 
I'm going to risk ridicule from the more self-righteous among us and point out another aspect of medical training and the "sacrifices" it entails.

I will be turning 30 in March and I have been working towards my goal of becoming an EP since I first identified this as my aspiration when I was 20 and serving in the military. At that time I had yet to attend college. So from that point forward all my energy was directed toward getting to where I am now (an EM intern) and ultimately an EM physician. Yes there have been many so called sacrifices along the way. Delaying meaningful employment and compensation, taking out student loan debt, working/studying while I'd rather be playing and the like. But on the other hand, the life of a full-time student, even as a medical student, sure beats the hell out of working full-time at most jobs. The daily grind of the "real world" can make the most demanding of academic pursuits look easy IMHO.

Anyway, my point is that by the time I graduate residency at the age of 32 I will have spent the last 13 years "building my business" so to speak. Assumed alittle debt as people do when building a business, worked when I would have rather played, built my knowledge base (similar to building a network of clients and contacts) and will be seasoned through real world experience (residency) before I am able to strike out into the "marketplace" on my own.

At the end of these 13 years I will have a business that is paying me around 250K+ per year, afford me ample time off, and allow me to parlay my experience and knowledge into other areas of medicine and/or business as I see fit. I have a "product" that is essentially recession-proof with a guaranteed market and with only few competitors. It is doubtful I'll ever be fired, down-sized or outsourced to India.

I could go on but I think you get my point. The medicine road is demanding no doubt, but the rest of the business/working world is no picnic either. The grass is pretty green on THIS side of the fence.

Like I said, this is another way to look at it.
 
I sacrificed the best decade of my life. I would have preferred to have lived out of a Volkswagen bus and driven around from one climbing area to another "living off the land," and meeting interesting people. Instead, now I can spend the second best decade of my life working a little, driving around in a Volkswagen bus from one climbing area to another, and living on my 200K salary! And I must say, I didn't miss out on meeting the interesting people.

But seriously, I've sacrificed vacations, income, time at the gym, reading good literature, my pride more times than I can remember....all worth it in my opinion.
 
Thanks for all your replys.

I hoped for more details but I'm getting the impression that most of you either feel justified for your actions and thus, do not see your decisions as sacrifices at all or simply cannot comment on what you don't know you're missing.

I was actually refering to the things you had before med school and as a consequence of it, don't anymore.

My resolve to persue medicine is already firm, and I don't need to hear how it'll all be worth it in the end. I'm not here for advice (thanks though ;) ).

A few of you mentioned sleep. What has been the consequences of that? Since I started being serious about premed, I dropped 10 lbs of muscle and I'll probably continue to shrink at the same time I get chubby until I'm an attending physician.

Yes, all pretty minor things for me so far. Anyone with any major sacrifices? Please don't feel like you need to justify your actions at the end of your reply. We all know it is. Simply share.
 
Originally posted by Larry Renal
edmadison:

My point wasn't that med school/residency is the most intense 4+ years of your life, but rather if you enter into it as though it will be, then you'll be thrilled when you actually have nights free to watch tv or go out. I remember before i started school thinking how i wasn't going to see my family or be able to sleep in ever. when i got there and realized it wasnt as nightmarish as all the rumors and myths had made it out to be, it was a huge relief. I think most laypeople would be surprised how relatively few things have to be "given up" (at least during the first 4 yrs).

lar
Click to expand...

I'm sorry I misunderstood you. I agree with you, I was happily surprised that I had free time (at least during year 1,2 and 4).

Ed
 
Originally posted by Larry Renal
edmadison:

My point wasn't that med school/residency is the most intense 4+ years of your life, but rather if you enter into it as though it will be, then you'll be thrilled when you actually have nights free to watch tv or go out. I remember before i started school thinking how i wasn't going to see my family or be able to sleep in ever. when i got there and realized it wasnt as nightmarish as all the rumors and myths had made it out to be, it was a huge relief. I think most laypeople would be surprised how relatively few things have to be "given up" (at least during the first 4 yrs).

lar
Click to expand...

Sorry I misunderstood you. I agree with your point, I was happily surprised that I had a reasonable amount of free time in years 1 and 2 and gobs during year 4.

Ed
 
The reason most people are not listing specific consequences is that there are not that many. The first two years are similiar to college with a little more studying. At my school we had 2 hours of lecture and 2 hours of small groups a day with some other random stuff thrown in. I don't like lecture so I worked out and ran during lecture time and was in the best shape of my life and ran my first marathon and still had time at night to hang out with my wife and watch TV. I got my work done during the week so I had weekends off. Sleep was never an issue because I didn't let it be. For the people who studied a ton during college they will study a ton in med school and not much will change. I alsways felt my life was easier than my wife with a normal job. In 3rd year you will occasionally work more but 4th year will make up for it. There is just not much to complain about and I agree about how people and TV over dramatize how hard med school is. The hardest part is delaying making money.

-P
 
if you move far away, you will miss your life. the only hard part (or sacrifice) in med school was moving away. that is specifically what sucked for me. i love where i live, but i missed out on a ton. i am still missing out, as we speak!

school, while not EASY, is totally doable. if you can stay near home and loved ones, (eg. your girlfreind) you shouldn't have to miss out on too much.
 
While I have no *major* sacrifices that I can think of, everyone is different. Yes, my marriage suffered, but I'd like to believe that it was mostly due to my husband's ongoing battle with depression.

On that note, most medical schools offer excellent confidential counseling - both personal, as well as academic.

I agree with the prior posters who said that the people who studied a lot in college will study a lot in med school. I was luckily in that other camp. While I don't have oodles of free time, I do have time for what's important to me: a marriage, 2 dogs, a couple of hobbies, my home and extended family. I actually do have oodles of free time on the rotation I'm doing at the moment, so they vary a great deal throughout your education once you hit the clinical years.

I wouldn't give up on your relationship just yet - yes, med school is hard, but it's isn't end-of-your-life hard. One of my mentors once said that the hardest part of med school is getting in. While I'm not done yet, and Step 1 *really* sucked, he might have been right. (At least in my book.)

Good luck,
Danielle
MS3
 
Originally posted by kungfufishing
Now that Im almost done with the school part, I dont think it has been that big of a deal. I think people tend to make time for the things they value and want to do, so from that standpoint I would say I havent had to sacrifice much. If you want time with the gf or at the gym or in the polka band, you'll make it happen. People tend to overdramatize med school, its not slave labor. I can think of a lot of things that would be harder and require more time and sacrifice than medical school.
Click to expand...

i agree with kungfu. i kinda addressed this in a different post : http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?s=&postid=1127794#post1127794

medschool isn't the 800lb gorilla it's made out to be. sure, it'll run all over your sorry @ss if you let it, but as long as you prioritize and become efficient it's nothin'. i sacrificed less for medical school than i did for undergrad. and "sacrifice" is relative. just remember when you start feeling sorry for yourself that there are hundreds, if not thousands (yeah, getting a little melodramatic here) that would trade places with you in a heartbeat. maybe not for kungfu, as he is probably one of the ugliest SOB's ever let into a medical school, but for the rest of us it's probably truer than you think.
 
ih8biochem,

I think the fact that you recognize that your outside interests and family are so important to you is the first, and most important step toward maintaining a good balance between your personal and professional life.

By definition, I think medical students are a little compulsive about their grades and studying. If they weren't, then they probably wouldn't have made it to med school to begin with. It seems easy for this population to get over involved in their professional life, and sometimes neglect other areas of their life that are important to them.

Balance is key.

Here are some of my specific sacrifices:

Less time at the gym, and less consistency of exercise,
Most of my classmates put on weight over their 4 years.
Fewer visits to my family for years 1-3
Fewer spontaneous phone calls to/from friends about going out or getting some food together years 1-3
More weekends spent studying or working, years 1-3
Almost no books read outside of medicine in years 1-3

Hope that helps.
 
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