Worst Job in the Hospital

[Green Chimneys]

Third year medical students like to complain, and not without good reason. We're paying out the wazu to do what we do. We are always under constant and often arbitrary evaluation. Our efforts are typically unappreciated and frequently irrelevant to patient care. However, despite all that sucks about being a third year, we don't have it all that bad. That got me thinking, what is the worst job in the hospital?

Is it the interns, who work countless hours doing tasks that can hardly be considered doctoring for a pittance of pay? How about the secretary in the admissions office who has to field calls all day from irate and paranoid pre-meds, yet to receive notification of their status. Could it be the operator, who spends the entire day answering mindless 5 second phone calls in a job that reminds me of "Nina" from Office Space?

My vote goes to the stoma nurse. Seriously, do these people have no nose? I have a pretty poor sense of smell, but I swear I can't stand more than 30 seconds in the room when these nurses are doing their job. S*** smells 300 times worse when it doesn't pass through a normal colon. These people spend their entire day dealing with these incredibly foul bags of poo. So here's to you, miss stoma nurse. You bravely enter a patient room and breathe through your mouth while dealing with a substance that makes my 500 pound homeless patients smell like roses. You should tryout for Fear Factor, because I think you would have no problem with the "eat nasty stuff" round. Obviously fear is not a factor for you.

Who gets your vote?

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[Tired]

Other nominations:

1) Gyn Ultrasound Technician ("You're going to put that WHERE???")

2) The guy who disposes of medical waste (ewwww)

3) Patient Advocate (patient call to complain, and everyone you talk to hates you)

4) Child Life Specialist (you have to be around kids all day, and everyone thinks your job is a joke)

5) Pediatric Gynecologist (seriously, does this specialty really exist?)


But personally, my vote goes to:

- the RN taking care of my patients

because you just don't want to deal with me all day and night. Trust me.

 

[Random Anesthesiologist]

Billing department and collections.

 

[Green Chimneys]

4) Child Life Specialist (you have to be around kids all day, and everyone thinks your job is a joke)

Let people think your job is a joke. When you're getting a salary capable of sustaining your life and all you're expected to do is let some little kids beat you at Playstation, you somehow tricked the system.

Good call on your winner though. Answering as to why you called Tired at 2 in the morning because the patient "spiked a fever" of 38.1 can't be fun.

 

[Ashers]

Let people think your job is a joke. When you're getting a salary capable of sustaining your life and all you're expected to do is let some little kids beat you at Playstation, you somehow tricked the system.

Good call on your winner though. Answering as to why you called Tired at 2 in the morning because the patient "spiked a fever" of 38.1 can't be fun.

I volunteered with a Child Life Specialist in college at a peds ER; whenever she was working, she stayed in her little office about 5min away from the ER; she only came into the ER to see if I was working. I had to clean all the kids' toys; reorganize the toy room, but not ever play with kids.

The times she wasn't working at the same time I was, I was allowed to see a little bit more of patient care.

My #1 vote goes to house keeping. Seriously some of that stuff is nasty.

Phlebotomists also have it tough. Based on my own personal experience, kids start screaming when you walk in the room; some adults started crying (middle aged lady very deformed because of RA -- I wasn't even going to draw her blood, she had a line); and people in general may get mad at you if you have a timed draw, and the patient is doing something else (like eating). All around not fun. I hated my life for the time I was a phleb.

 

[sestamibi]

MS3, without question.

Yeah, others have to deal with poo and screaming patients but at the end of the day, they're not paying for that privilege.

 

[edmadison]

I'm sorry for this, really I am:

Fluffer in the Urology ED clinic

Once again, I'm sorry.

Ed

 

[Droopy Snoopy]

I'm sorry for this, really I am:

Fluffer in the Urology ED clinic

Once again, I'm sorry.

Ed

Is that what I think it is?

 

[barasch]

I'm sorry for this, really I am:

Fluffer in the Urology ED clinic


Ed

I think the proper title is 'genital circulation tech'

 

[DebDynamite]

I am an intern. Third year med school was a bazillion times worse.

 

[lilnoelle]

Well, I'm not going to claim its the worst possible job in the hospital, but I worked doing laundry in a nursing home for a few months and it wasn't a pretty thing. Basically wading through poo, urine, and blood filled sheets, blankets, pads, etc for every laundry load, then switching to the dryer, folding a bunch of clothes, and getting paid $7 an hour for it certainly wasn't glamorous.

 

[SugarDaddy]

M3 by far. As they say it flows downhill. Shoot on some rotations I am pretty certain after the attending, resident, and scrub tech got done beating on me, they brought in other staff members including stoma nurse, custodial staff, and urology fluffer to get their jollies.

 

[oompaloompa]

My vote goes for Guest Relations. Most hospitals have a version of this and it usually consists of a team of administrative buraeucrats who apparently have no skill set other than to be a receptacle for bitching. There are few things as unpredictable and inefficient as the average hospital stay, so naturally this job has disaster written all over it. There may indeed be some issue that arises that is actually within the power of an administrator to fix, but I've never seen it. If these people's problems could be solved by someone with a "Communications" degree, they wouldn't be in a hospital.

At my hospital Guest Relations is this dynamic duo of a comically obese gentleman who is always really sweaty and stutters and a tiny old lady who always appears to be on the verge of tears. Hell, can't say I'd fare any better in their shoes.

You see, we health professionals are pretty reasonable people, especially with the amount of crap we deal with on a daily basis. So if you're talking to Guest Relations, chances are you've got some bull**** demands that were crazy enough to rattle us.

I would say they're harmless enough since really all they're supposed to do is stand there and come up with a hundred ways to say "I'm sorry" over and over again. Unfortunately, sometimes they come up with some wacky plan that they intend for you to carry out. Once I had one of them tell me that in order to make a patient's stay more pleasant, he had assured her that I would arrange for the primary team and all 4 consultants would round on her at the same time in the afternoon from 2:00-2:15. I could have smacked him.

I realize that in our litigious world these people may serve as a stopgap measure against lawsuits, but I'm glad it isn't me.

 

[nebrfan]

I think the proper title is 'genital circulation tech'

You're almost correct - in today's age of degree inflation (O.T.D., D.P.T., PharmD, D.N.P., etc.), the title is now "D.G.C." (Doctor of Genital Circulation). The Doctor will see you now.

 

[45408]

Sometimes the custodial staff. One of my interns was complaining about the hours we were working - it was a pretty rough stretch - and I told her what I'd overheard one of the janitors say that morning. The janitor was in the middle of a 16 hour shift, she had a 17 hour shift the next day, and a 16 hour shift the day after that. And it's not a lofty job.

As for "most disgusting job," I'd say the wound care nurse has a pretty bad one. I nearly puked on one of my patients when we were checking out some ulcers, but the wound nurse had to deal with them for a while and then go see 30 more.

 

[45408]

I think the proper title is 'genital circulation tech'

couldn't you just use a mechanical device with some suction? (Austin Powers quotes are coming to mind)

 

[Hurricane95]

The guy who has 5 minutes to clear all the blood, bloodied stuff (blankets, gloves, lines, needles, etc.), $h it, urine and other things off the floor and scrub it all good 'n clean in the trauma resuscitation bay and OR before the next rollover/bilateral traumatic amputation with open abdominal wounds gets wheeled in. Not a pretty job. Especially when the patient who just left their bodily fluids all over the place is Hep C+. And has HIV.

 

[DoctorFunk]

Sometimes the custodial staff. One of my interns was complaining about the hours we were working - it was a pretty rough stretch - and I told her what I'd overheard one of the janitors say that morning. The janitor was in the middle of a 16 hour shift, she had a 17 hour shift the next day, and a 16 hour shift the day after that. And it's not a lofty job.

They probably get paid more than your intern though, and you can bet they're protected for overtime pay.

 

[45408]

They probably get paid more than your intern though, and you can bet they're protected for overtime pay.

1. Debatable.
2. Absolutely.

 

[DoctorFunk]

1. Debatable.

Not going to argue with you on this one, but how sad is it that the point is even debatable?

 

[DD214_DOC]

M3 by far. As they say it flows downhill. Shoot on some rotations I am pretty certain after the attending, resident, and scrub tech got done beating on me, they brought in other staff members including stoma nurse, custodial staff, and urology fluffer to get their jollies.

I know this is half in jest, but I learned pretty quickly that if you stand up to the ancillary staff they won't treat you like crap. It didn't hurt my eval either.

 

[blabbyblab]

I did some waste disposal for a couple of years at a hospital in high school. Waaay better than 3rd year (and pays more).