Simseema,
>>I feel like I *might* end up in this situation, and if it does happen, I don't think it's a bad thing, but others around me would make me feel bad about it. I guess I'm not sure what I want...sometimes I think I'd be happy if my SO stayed at home and did other things and sometimes I'd be happy if he also had a demanding career....<<
Personally, I think it takes more courage to find what makes you happy, and then do it....then almost anything else. If it makes you happy to go to med school, then that is good. If it makes you happy to have a spouse who can spend time at home, then that is what is important.
Ignoring those 'others' who want to make you feel bad about your choices....takes courage. I don't know why anyone would make you feel bad...do YOU feel that you are getting less by having a man that doesn't have the same career goals as you?
Loving a person, really loving them, is being happy when they find a niche in life that makes them happy everyday to be alive.
My hubby is the one going to med school, and yes, he is very smart. I on the other hand, although even smarter then my hubby, am not interested in med school. In fact, what makes each of us happy individually and as a couple is for me to be doing what I am....which is being the at home person and pursuing more education. I am not interested in making as much money as him to 'prove' my intelligence or worth and what makes him happy, is for me to feel happy doing whatever happens to fulfill me.
Noone can make you feel bad without your permission. Concentrate on what YOU want for yourself and your boyfriend and what is important to you. Knowing that you couldn't give 100% to kids means that it might be the most fulfilling all around for your spouse/partner to fill in the slack there. That is a good thing. Anyone that makes you feel bad about that....is only jealous that you have had the courage to find happiness and to make it work.
LOL Sorry for the ramble....
Rebecca