WomanWhoWouldCurie

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People marry physicians for stability. Unfortunately, marrying a RadOnc nowadays involved a lot of moving or putting up with unusually long commutes by your RadOnc.


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KHE88 said:
If your wife divorces you simply because she doesn't like living in the only place you can get a job (and she doesn't have higher earning power/geographic flexibility so that you can follow her and risk going unemployed for long periods), you chose poorly and she's probably doing you a favor. Unfortunately I have also seen this a lot in my short career.
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if you married someone who could only get a job somewhere you hated away from your friends and family and where culturally you felt like an outsider, and their income potential was say 100k or 200k more than theirs, would it be so easy for you to quit your job and stay at home indefinitely because after all marriage is forever? Do not pretend that these choices are so simple.
 
PleaseRemainCalm said:
if you married someone who could only get a job somewhere you hated away from your friends and family and where culturally you felt like an outsider, and their income potential was say 100k or 200k more than theirs, would it be so easy for you to quit your job and stay at home indefinitely because after all marriage is forever? Do not pretend that these choices are so simple.
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Hard and simple are different. It is a very simple question
 
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seper said:
People marry physicians for stability. Unfortunately, marrying a RadOnc nowadays involved a lot of moving or putting up with unusually long commutes by your RadOnc.
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Physicians in many sub-specialities need to work night shifts, may have to move around (even abroad) for research/training and are notorious for being stressed.

Divorce rates among physicians seem however to be lower than in other professions.
www.bmj.com

Divorce among physicians and other healthcare professionals in the United States: analysis of census survey data

Objectives To estimate the prevalence and incidence of divorce among US physicians compared with other healthcare professionals, lawyers, and non-healthcare professionals, and to analyze factors associated with divorce among physicians. Design Retrospective analysis of nationally representative...
www.bmj.com www.bmj.com

There is however bias in that too... Perhaps physicians make the smarter choices?
 
Perhaps marry later, smarter choices, more compassionate, less likely to be a total degenerate, better understand financial implications of divorce, too busy to even think about it, spousal golden handcuffs...

Probably a whole host of things.
 
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Marry later is a huge part IMO
 
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I don't care who it is, IMHO the worst decision one can ever make in life is to not pursue a prenup. Some even feel that this should be mandatory for all doctors.
 
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FrostyHammer said:
I don't care who it is, IMHO the worst decision one can ever make in life is to not pursue a prenup. Some even feel that this should be mandatory for all doctors.
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Especially when the prevalent societal attitude is that if you're aren't happy in your marriage (over things like your high earning spouse could only get a job in one location you don't like (oh boohoo your family is pulling in $600k a year but the restaurants aren't good enough and the culture of your neighbors is different from your own.... seriously?), your spouse is depressed, your spouse is a little fatter than he/she used to be, etc), and think you can do better elsewhere, you can just bail without anybody faulting you for it, take the kids, and a good chunk of your partner's income. Yeah, you can think you know someone, but you never really know. Always consult a lawyer... best advice ever!

For the poster laughing at the concept of "all marriage being forever," I promise, promise, promise you there are LOTS of people who are willing to exclusively commit to you, live with you, etc. without actually getting married. But that's not a "real" committment you say? If you really loved me, you'd commit to this thing that is easily annulled for literally whatever reason -- a real commitment! Oh yeah, except that part about taking half your stuff and your kids. Talk about wanting to have your cake and eat it too! LOL at the whole thing. "All marriage is forever" is a joke? I actually agree with you. Most marriage has become a meaningless joke. Rare to find somebody who actually believes in "for better or for worse." Usually it's about optics. Or just something that is not really thought through very well!

Maybe I'm a little bitter, but I'm not wrong.
 
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KHE88 said:
Especially when the prevalent societal attitude is that if you're aren't happy in your marriage (over things like your high earning spouse could only get a job in one location you don't like (oh boohoo your family is pulling in $600k a year but the restaurants aren't good enough and the culture of your neighbors is different from your own.... seriously?), your spouse is depressed, your spouse is a little fatter than he/she used to be, etc), and think you can do better elsewhere, you can just bail without anybody faulting you for it, take the kids, and a good chunk of your partner's income. Yeah, you can think you know someone, but you never really know. Always consult a lawyer... best advice ever!

For the poster laughing at the concept of "all marriage being forever," I promise, promise, promise you there are LOTS of people who are willing to exclusively commit to you, live with you, etc. without actually getting married. But that's not a "real" committment you say? If you really loved me, you'd commit to this thing that is easily annulled for literally whatever reason -- a real commitment! Oh yeah, except that part about taking half your stuff and your kids. Talk about wanting to have your cake and eat it too! LOL at the whole thing. "All marriage is forever" is a joke? I actually agree with you. Most marriage has become a meaningless joke. Rare to find somebody who actually believes in "for better or for worse." Usually it's about optics. Or just something that is not really thought through very well!

Maybe I'm a little bitter, but I'm not wrong.
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dating life hot in Morgantown during COVID im sure.
 
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FrostyHammer said:
I don't care who it is, IMHO the worst decision one can ever make in life is to not pursue a prenup. Some even feel that this should be mandatory for all doctors.
Click to expand...

did you find it easy to have one? It would seem to me like that it would be very taboo for a first time married couple who dont have any wealth, maybe if it is your second/third marriage you wisen up. None of my girlfriends signed one that i know.
I have met some physicians that have been absolutely ruined financially by divorce. lose half of everything plus any alimony and child support. If you get married best thing is dont consider an option, make it work. It is just too expensive.
 
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Nobody likes that conversation. It's worth having and making sure you and your partner are protected. What if it's the higher earning one that wants out? What if she/he cheats? It seems very responsible to figure this out before you potentially hate each other.

And, no, I didn't get one, but I think the parent of my children (the ones I know about) deserves to be healthy/safe/secure - regardless of if I am married to them or not.

I doubt it's Morgantown. That's only an hour from Pittsburgh, and both of those areas have access to decent kormas, samosas, and biryanis.
 
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thecarbonionangle said:
did you find it easy to have one? It would seem to me like that it would be very taboo for a first time married couple who dont have any wealth
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You casually bring it up early on in your relationship, ideally while you're still dating.

If a person who wants to marry you, especially if he/she is pressuring you into marriage, balks at the idea of a prenup, acts offended/hurt, refuses, whatever... huge red flag and harbinger of things to come. They are doing you a favor by showing their true colors! You simply say, listen, I view marriage as a lifetime commitment. You are asking me to make this lifetime commitment in a way that is meaningful to you and legally binding. What I'm asking from you is the same thing, a legally binding commitment that is meaningful to me. All this does is make the original commitment stronger. Oh you want to have your cake and eat it too? Bye.....

But if you trusted me not to try and take your money, then you wouldn't be asking me to sign this! You clearly don't trust me!
Oh yeah? If you trusted me not to leave you later, then you wouldn't be asking me to spend 200k on a ring and a ceremony! You clearly don't trust ME!
Byeeeee.......
 
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We need a double-blind, randomized, clinical trial for physicians and prenups, non-voluntary enrollment of course. Primary Endpoint: Divorce rate, Secondary Endpoint: Financial Ruin
 
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FrostyHammer said:
I don't care who it is, IMHO the worst decision one can ever make in life is to not pursue a prenup. Some even feel that this should be mandatory for all doctors.
Click to expand...
And a COVID test nowadays...
 
KHE88 said:
You casually bring it up early on in your relationship, ideally while you're still dating.

If a person who wants to marry you, especially if he/she is pressuring you into marriage, balks at the idea of a prenup, acts offended/hurt, refuses, whatever... huge red flag and harbinger of things to come. They are doing you a favor by showing their true colors! You simply say, listen, I view marriage as a lifetime commitment. You are asking me to make this lifetime commitment in a way that is meaningful to you and legally binding. What I'm asking from you is the same thing, a legally binding commitment that is meaningful to me. All this does is make the original commitment stronger. Oh you want to have your cake and eat it too? Bye.....

But if you trusted me not to try and take your money, then you wouldn't be asking me to sign this! You clearly don't trust me!
Oh yeah? If you trusted me not to leave you later, then you wouldn't be asking me to spend 200k on a ring and a ceremony! You clearly don't trust ME!
Byeeeee.......
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damn 200k wedding? What kind of gals are you dating in Morgantown? Is this like an 800 people indian wedding with 8 courses,4 lions and 5 elephants or something?

ring and wedding are a pretty silly society thing but these days most woman want a ring which will run you about 5-20k. I dont know anybody who got away with not buying one. An expensive wedding is a YUGE financial mistake. No hang over or biriyani is worth that much.
 
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6 posts deleted for being very, very off-topic.

Lions and tigers and tiger king are not acceptable topics of discussion in this thread.

You all know who you are.

1586893007840.png
 
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Apologies. But, respectfully, Evilbooya, that meme makes no sense.
 
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ROFallingDown said:
Apologies. But, respectfully, Evilbooya, that meme makes no sense.
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It's from a famous anti-drug ad featuring Michael Jordan from the 80s.

What doesn't make sense about it?

Please tell me you weren't thinking what I think you were thinking.
 
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ROFallingDown said:
Apologies. But, respectfully, Evilbooya, that meme makes no sense.
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knowyourmeme.com

Stop It, Get Some Help

"Stop It, Get Some Help" is a quote said by former professional basketball player Michael Jordan in an anti-drug public service announcement (PSA) that originally aired in May 1987. On Vine and YouTube, Jordan's PSA has been widely used as a reaction video to poke fun at cringeworthy media or...
knowyourmeme.com knowyourmeme.com
 
thecarbonionangle said:
did you find it easy to have one? It would seem to me like that it would be very taboo for a first time married couple who dont have any wealth, maybe if it is your second/third marriage you wisen up. None of my girlfriends signed one that i know.
I have met some physicians that have been absolutely ruined financially by divorce. lose half of everything plus any alimony and child support. If you get married best thing is dont consider an option, make it work. It is just too expensive.
Click to expand...
I guess all I'll say is that if you find a girl that isn't cool enough to sign one, then you didn't do a good enough job of looking ;-)
 
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KHE88 said:
Especially when the prevalent societal attitude is that if you're aren't happy in your marriage (over things like your high earning spouse could only get a job in one location you don't like (oh boohoo your family is pulling in $600k a year but the restaurants aren't good enough and the culture of your neighbors is different from your own.... seriously?), your spouse is depressed, your spouse is a little fatter than he/she used to be, etc), and think you can do better elsewhere, you can just bail without anybody faulting you for it, take the kids, and a good chunk of your partner's income. Yeah, you can think you know someone, but you never really know. Always consult a lawyer... best advice ever!

For the poster laughing at the concept of "all marriage being forever," I promise, promise, promise you there are LOTS of people who are willing to exclusively commit to you, live with you, etc. without actually getting married. But that's not a "real" committment you say? If you really loved me, you'd commit to this thing that is easily annulled for literally whatever reason -- a real commitment! Oh yeah, except that part about taking half your stuff and your kids. Talk about wanting to have your cake and eat it too! LOL at the whole thing. "All marriage is forever" is a joke? I actually agree with you. Most marriage has become a meaningless joke. Rare to find somebody who actually believes in "for better or for worse." Usually it's about optics. Or just something that is not really thought through very well!

Maybe I'm a little bitter, but I'm not wrong.
Click to expand...
As someone who is married, I care deeply about mine. I hardly give a **** about those of others, and definitely don't give a **** about what the institution means to others. The worst thing about the institution of marriage, is that people feel obligated to have and give an opinion on it's validity. Some people do things wrong...
 
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