When to have a child? Before PT school or after?

[indecisive.decisive]

My fiance and I have been talking about our game plan for our future. I will be graduating with my bachelor's this coming May 2016 and have already applied to a PT school and had the interview. I am very confident with my interview and my application but I do like having a plan. We discussed that we would move in to his parent's house so we could save about $700-900 a month (we can support ourselves but the thought of saving that much money is a great feeling) and I would then commute to my current job or to the PT program which is a 30 minute drive (if I am accepted). If I am accepted we would wait until after PT school to have a child because I do not want to miss out on anything in school due to being pregnant. However, if I do not get in we were discussing trying to get pregnant and have a child before the next session of PT students being accepted into the program. I figured that if I would get pregnant by a certain month I would have time for the pregnancy and recovery before PT school would start. Our mindset is that I do not know how many times it would take to get into PT school and it would suck thinking that I could of had a child during the time frame I was waiting to get in. My mom stays at home and I know my dad is going to retire soon. I would discuss all of this with my parents and my fiance's parents (We will be married in a couple of months) just to make sure they are willing to help us out and watch our child if I am at school and my fiance is working (then will be husband). I tried to find input on this website of choosing whether or not to have a kid before you went to PT school but I only found information on having a child during PT school or already having a child and debating how PT school would be.

Note: We both really want children and are on board with the idea. I just want others inputs on the matter.

Thanks

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[starrsgirl]

Can I ask how old you guys are? Only because I get that age can be a factor in deciding to have kids right now or being able to wait. I think you have a good plan to wait on kids if you get accepted this cycle. I won't lie to you....PT school with a kid is a very, very tough road. I laugh and joke a lot with my classmates, but in reality, it's not all fun and games. My thought is, even if you don't get in this cycle, are you likely to get in your 2nd round? And if you *knew* you were getting in the second round, could you push your kids plans back one more year?

If I had gotten in my first year, I would have started school with a 1 year old. I felt I was absolutely ready to do it at the time. Would I have survived? Maybe. Barely. Not likely. As it was, I got into PT school on my second round and started school with a 2 year old. A 2 year old is about 100x easier than a 1 year old because sometimes they sleep through the night and sometimes they eat regular food and sometimes they are no longer breastfed. As it was, my 1 year old was up all night, still breast feeding, had issues with daycare among other things. Looking back, I am so thankful I didn't try to go to school when he was that young. At 2, it was still pretty rough, but it was better.

Don't get me wrong, if you want to have a kid, then do it. Be strong, be tough and get through it. You will work a lot harder, but it is doable. But if you have a choice, if you are deciding, if you can go either way, then maybe you kinda know and understand the sacrifices that it will take. If I had a life "do over" I would 150% go to grad school before having kids. The only way I survive is 1) I don't sleep....ever and 2) I can get away with a criminally low amount of studying. That's me being very realistic. I don't do amazing in my classes, but I cut a lot of corners and get by. Some people are the type of students that aren't ok with that (if you are used to doing well and really need to feel confident with the material, cutting corners may make you anxious). Besides anatomy (which I nearly failed because I just didn't have the time to study), I can pick up things quickly after hearing them in lecture. I'm not sure where I would be if I was a different type of learner.

The other part that is really hard for me is how much of the young years I'm missing in my kids' lives. I drop the kids off at 7am at daycare, I don't see them again until 6pm. They go to bed at 7:30pm. Right now, they are growing and changing so quickly and I miss a lot of that. I have a lot of days where I wish I had waited on PT school until my kids were in full time school (since I was already pregnant when I first considered PT school). I don't want to be overly negative in this post....if you feel it, I'm all about it!! But I want you to have a realistic picture of life as a mom and grad student. One final thought is to try to find out from current students at your top school if other students have kids. At my school, no one does except me. It's a very traditionally structured program too. They aren't used to having students with kids and I don't really have any peers that I can draw support from. I suspect that may be different in other programs, especially programs with more non traditional class setups and schedules.

 

[KendraTacoma]

I would definitely wait to have a child after PT school. It is beyond brutal and will consume you. Imagine going to school five days a week from 9am-5pm, having to study, and care for an infant that is dependent on you for practically every little thing. I know people work full time with children but the difference is they don't have to still work when they get home.

I have a child and plan to apply for DPT programs next year. I feel I am in a good position because my child is 11 years old. Incredibly self-sufficient and doesn't need me nearly as much. And tweens/teens want to be around their friends more than their parents. Bonus.

But I must say if there is a will, there is a way. Just know it will not be easy to attend PT school with an infant/toddler and you need all the support you can get.

Wishing you the best of luck!!!

 

[a7rcana]

Do you know someone currently in the PT program you are hoping to get into? You should shadow a student or get a copy of their class schedule. My classes run from 9-5 or 8-4pm during the week and when we have time 'off' in the schedule they send us to clinics around the city to shadow or assign group projects. It is nothing like undergrad - you don't get to have unscheduled time off. On top of 8 hours a day of class you will be studying harder than you've ever studied. You will have assignments you'll be working on every day. At our school we have to have a certain number of hours of community service by the time we graduate. It's really just overwhelming.

I mean, I have a dog and I can barely keep up giving her the exercise and attention she needs. I have no idea how I would survive caring for an infant child and going to PT school. There are quite a few people in my classes that have children but they are all at least 6 years old or older, going to school or getting full time child care. Is that how you envision the first 3 years of your child's life? Do you believe you could do well 8 hours a day in a doctorate program being woken up every 2 hours by a crying baby? I just absolutely would recommend waiting unless there is a medical issue that would preclude your ability to have kids - and even then I would put off school until the child is more grown.

Also, just reading about your game plan in regards to moving and saving money I would definitely recommend being in a better place financially before having children. I know that it's possible to make a loving family work in most situations but living with your parents and trying to save up doesn't really sound like the ideal time to be introducing children.